Journal created:
on 25 May 2007 (#13016016)
Updated:
on 9 July 2015
Location:
United States
Among other interests listed below, I'm into pirates of the Golden Age; all things nautical; Celtic studies; history (therefore tending to be a stickler for, if not total historical accuracy, at least historical plausibility in my fiction); and, probably most conspicuously, being an incurable fangirl. The objects of my affection tend to be character actors (with the occasional rock musician thrown in). It usually takes me a while to declare myself a fan (I've usually got to see the same person in at least two or three different roles, and also, while I don't like to delve too deeply into their private lives, at least ascertain that he's a somewhat decent person without a collossal Hollywood ego), but once an actor is admitted to my "pantheon," though my obsessiveness with each tends to wax and wane, I'm a loyal sort, so they're pretty much in for life (mine, not theirs). Unless they do something that hits the news and totally makes me lose all respect for them--like, oh, I don't know, perhaps, after playing the shy, polite, retiring gentleman on all the chat shows, famously trying to make out mid-flight with an Australian stewardess he just met, getting her fired, while his girlfriend, whom he first seduced by taking her back to his place and performing a yoga routine in the nude, is waiting for him back home). My "current" banner (which will probably stay put for a while because, in my complete CSS illiteracy, it was so difficult figuring out how to get that one there!) refers to what I wanted to be when I grew up ... till I took a drama course in high school and discovered I had debilitating stage fright; I'm over it now, but I'm a bit old to be starting out in a field that focuses so much on youth and unnatural standards of "beauty," especially in women. Instead, I dance, and I live vicariously through others who've succeeded at my dreams and fantasize about being up there opposite my favorites. (The quote, "I'm not an actor; I'm a dyspeptic," from Quills, starring Geoffrey Rush is so apt!) Another topic of this journal that's proved to be unavoidable (since it in large part accounts for my frequent absences) is the moans and groans of a withdrawal syndrome that's ruled my life for the past couple of years and probably will do for the foreseeable future: the living hell that is benzodiazepine addiction (you know, Clonazepam, Xanax, Valium, Ativan--the stuff that killed Heath Ledger?)--made worse by a medical community that, for the most part, doesn't understand or care to know just how physically agonizing it can be for many people (me included) to get off the stuff, which is in many ways more addictive than heroin and--being a legal pharmaceutical product--much more insidious. Weaning off of it safely can take months or even years. Minute dosage cuts feel a lot like attempting to remove the creature from John Hurt's face in Alien; benzodiazepines do not leave your body gently, or quickly. Yet I've found out the hard way that most doctors prefer to believe the withdrawal is psychological, not physical. (If one more so-called medical professional tells me, "It's not that bad" as if they had any experience with it themselves for over two years at the maximum dosage ... They may as well say, "This is going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me.") So rather than keep my problems to myself and have my friends constantly thinking I've dropped off the face of the earth or just lost interest in them, thanks to all the sensitive comments I've received, I've decided a first-hand account of my nightmare might spread awareness of just how dangerous these drugs can be and perhaps help/support/warn others who are or have the potential to end up in my shoes. (It's frighteningly easy to do.) When I'm not squeeing over my current celebrity crushes or whin(g)ing about my aches and pains, my primary occupation is writing a historical novel with the intent of having it published, which tends to keep me offline due to the discipline required to make any progress. (What, me? Disciplined? Well, if you see much of me around here, you'll know how well that's working out.) So ... check out my interests below and if we have some in common, feel free to friend me, and I'll most likely friend you back. But be forewarned, in addition to the aforementioned obstacles to keeping up with this journal and those of my friends', I'm a slow reader and terrible procrastinator who tends to bite off more than she can chew while having no concept of the passage of time (not to mention my computer time is limited by a bad case of arthritis), so if I don't post anything or you don't hear from me for a while, feel free to nudge me ... and don't take it personally! Thanks! :-) PS; My interests are not limited to the ones listed below, but I ran out of room. Did you know LJ limits you to just 150?! |
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abitobsessed 18th century, 1960s, acting, actors, adhd, alan rickman, albrecht dürer, angels, animals, art, arthur rackham, barnabas collins, baroque, bela lugosi, ben linus, benzodiazepine support, billie joe armstrong, bluegrass, books, brian may, briticisms, british actors, british invasion, bugs bunny, buttons, c.s. lewis, calligraphy, candlelight, captain barbossa, celtic art, celtic knotwork, celtic mythology, character actors, complex villains, cornish language, cornwall, crooked teeth, crystals, cyril cusack, daphne du maurier, dark shadows, david warner, daydreaming, dracula, drawing, dreaming, drummers, emlyn williams, england, forever knight, gardening, geoffrey rush, gerbils, german dancing, german language, golden age of piracy, golden age of sail, green day, harry potter, history, howard pyle, hypnosis, illuminated books, illustration, ireland, irish language, irish music, irish stepdancing, jamaica inn, john oliver, john polidori, jonathan frid, keith moon, kernow, kernowek, learning to sew, led zeppelin, london, long john silver, lost, magical realism, marzipan, medieval music, melancholy, michael emerson, michael sheen, monty python, moonlight, mr. spock, nostalgia, paisley underground, paper arts, peter pettigrew, peter tork, philosophy, pirates, pirates of the caribbean, psychedelia, punk rock, queen, quilting, r.e.m., rabbits, ragetti, raphael, reading, reg presley, religion, renaissance music, robert louis stevenson, robert newton, severus snape, shakespeare, skinny guys, slash, sleeping, spongebob squarepants, stained glass, star trek, stuart england, tall ships, tarot, tattoos, the daily show, the kinks, the monkees, the sea, the troggs, the uk, the who, the young ones, theatre, thomas kinkade cottages, tigger, timothy spall, treasure island, trivia, typography, vampire lore, vegetarianism, walking, watching figure skating, watercolor and ink, watercolors, welsh language, william blake, william butler yeats, william dampier, writing