Meh meh meh!

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

About life, money, love, my future, health, loss, God - or the lack there of, my so-called business, my soul-sucking job at an evil corporation, how I grew up, and just general 30-something-I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or where I'm going-shit.

It's really too much to talk about here, but I'll try to put all of those points above in a short sentence or two.

Life - life sucks right now. Where the hell am I going? What am I doing, and the fact that it's slowly fading away from me, and I'm not a happy person. Life is about happiness, and love, and I barely have any of those. It's quite depressing.

Money - the bane of my whole existence. I want some, so I can live a simple, happy life. I don't ask for much! But what I do want, takes a bit of money. I hate the fact that I need money, but I need it to be happy.. screw those people that said money doesn't make you happy. It does. It gets me an appartment out of this hell-hole, it gets me things I enjoy, like going to dinner once in a while with my sister, and best friend, and you know.. shoes, pants, and shirts without holes in them. That's happiness! Oh and taking care of my little kitteh Seven, who deserves her shots, and being spayed, and deserves going to the vet, and a long long life cuz I love her so much <3. Oh and buying my sister a desk and a bed. She deserves those things, cuz I love her more than anybody else in this world, and want to do good by her.

Love - well we all know what that's all about. Meh.

My future - non existant at this point, but I'm trying to figure it out. That part unfortunately doesn't come without the money part.

Health - I'm still fat. I don't want diabetes. I take meds for some weird ass things that no one has ever heard of.. shit like that. It's confusing and stresses me out cuz I want to eat well, but can't sometimes because of.. well MONEY again.

Loss - I miss my Nana. I miss my ex (still). I miss who and how I used to be. Sigh.

God - I'm seriously leaning towards being an atheist. Maybe I shall write my views on how I now see this world in another update. I just really don't think that God exists anymore, and that is also a loss.

My so-called business - I'm trying to start a business, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but if I don't take a risk, I can't get a reward. I'm just stressed, and worried, but trying to GO FOREWARD.

My soul-sucking job at an evil corporation - well that's pretty self explanitory really. (See description of job.) I fucking hate it there. Love my customers, love SOME people who work there, and I like my job and what I do.. but working there is STEALING MY SOUL. I'm not joking.

How I grew up - Well my business has to do with what I love and need to do all the time - organize.. have ORDER physically and mentally. And it's making me think of how I grew up and how fucking wrong it was, and how my sister has now gone through, and is going through the same thing (all be it a lesser version) but still. I watch Hoarders, and Hoarding: Buried Alive, and cry sometimes, because I KNOW how that was. I know how it was to sleep on a pile of clothes. I know how it was to have no friends over EVER - MY ENITRE CHILDHOOD (Except for ONE TIME, and it was ONE GIRL FRIEND, and it never happened again until I was 17.) I know how it was to have cockroaches in my food, over my body, in my ears, their poop still over some books I own because they are cherished books from my childhood. ETC. I could go on and on. But the point of that is that I am still going through some of that - minus the cockroaches - and my sister is too, and it's abnormal, and the only way to get out of that cycle, is to get the fuck out of this hell hole, and take my sister with me.. but again, I need MONEY.

Basically all of that equals general 30-something-I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or where I'm going-shit. Yeah.

So yay I'm gonna go finish cleaning up my room, cuz I re-organized a bunch of stuff, re-did a wall full of butterflies, and I'm gonna go watch a good movie to get all of this off my mind for a few hours!

10 Surprising Minimum-Wage Jobs - Read #2

FROM YAHOO.COM
** This is an American article, but the principles are the same here in Canada. The wage values may be different, but it is comparable here.
Nice to know at least Yahoo cares and says thank you ;) haha. READ #2, and some others may be suprising as well.

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10 Surprising Minimum-Wage Jobs
by Bridget Quigg, PayScale.com

The U.S. federal minimum wage recently increased 70 cents from $6.55 to $7.25 per hour. Who will be affected by this boost? Cashiers and fast food workers? Yes, but some minimum wage jobs also come with surprisingly hefty responsibilities.

From preschool teachers to hospitals aides, there are many people in critical roles whose salaries don't necessarily reflect the importance of their professional contributions. You may be surprised to find out who's making the bare minimum.

1. Emergency Medical Technician (EMT)

Bottom 10% earn: $8.79 per hour
U.S. median salary: $11.41 per hour
Job description: Assess injuries, administer emergency medical care, and extricate trapped individuals. Transport injured or sick persons to medical facilities.

An EMT may pull you from a car wreck and keep you alive on your way to the hospital -- and maybe for as little as $9 an hour? New EMTs must be brave, decisive, compassionate, and knowledgeable. Fortunately, their salaries go up after they get some experience under their belts.

2. Pharmacy Technician

Bottom 10% earn: $7.88 per hour
U.S. median salary: $9.93 per hour
Job description: Assist pharmacist in preparing and dispensing medication. Prepare dosage medications for dispensing into bottles and unit dose packaging. Collect patient information for prescription and billing. Select, prepare and stock medications.

Do you find all of those little pills confusing when you have more than one to take? Your local pharmacy technician processes hundreds of prescriptions a day and absolutely must keep the blue ones separate from the green ones. The wrong dose or medication can have possibly fatal consequences. These folks deserve a big thank-you for the work they do, but they'd likely settle for a raise.

3. Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA)

Bottom 10% earn: $8.12 per hour
U.S. median salary: $9.81 per hour
Job description: Provide basic patient care under direction of nursing staff. Perform duties, such as feed, bathe, dress, groom, or move patients, or change linens.

When grandpa or grandma requires full-time care in a facility, or you end up in the hospital for surgery or an extended stay, a CNA might be the person you interact with most and rely upon for your essential needs. Plus, these dedicated individuals also often provide a little human interaction when the hours in the hospital seem too long.

4. Preschool Teacher

Bottom 10% earn: $8.19 per hour
U.S. median salary: $10.50 per hour
Job description: Instruct children in activities designed to promote social, physical, and intellectual growth needed for primary school in preschool, daycare center, or other child development facility. May be required to hold state certification.

Have you ever been at a preschool or daycare facility and thought, "Wow, that teacher is so patient and caring." That's because preschool teachers are responsible for a group of active, inquisitive kids who get hungry, have occasional meltdowns, or don't feel like sitting down -- all day long. These folks are critical to your child's development and education. And, they may not make enough to support themselves without a second job or income.

5. Amusement Park Ride Operator

Bottom 10% earn: $7.49 per hour
U.S. median salary: $8.74 per hour
Job description: Perform variety of attending duties at amusement facility. May operate amusement concessions and rides.

You wouldn't be surprised to buy a hot dog at the fair from a young person making close to minimum wage, but what about the person running your favorite ride -- the one with all the loop-dee-loops, drops and spins? It's surprising that these workers don't make much more than their concession-stand counterparts considering the complexity of some of the rides they're operating.

6. Line Cook

Bottom 10% earn: $7.25 per hour
U.S. median salary: $8.98 per hour
Job description: Prepare and cook food in a restaurant. Duties of the cooks are limited to preparation of a few basic items and normally involve operating large-volume single-purpose cooking equipment.

In the fast-paced work environment of a restaurant kitchen, line cooks ensure that meals are prepared to the chefs' exacting standards. Often these folks have completed pricey degrees at culinary schools and this is their first job after graduation. They're skilled with knives and the finer points of making a cream sauce. Yet, their wage is sometimes better suited to heating up a frozen dinner.

7. Lifeguard

Bottom 10% earn: $6.89 per hour
U.S. median salary: $8.18 per hour
Job description: Monitor recreational areas, such as pools, beaches, or ski slopes to provide assistance and protection to participants.

Do you have the strength and skill to pull a drowning person from a crowded lake and resuscitate them? Lifeguards must be able to perform this important task, plus spend long hours getting kids to stop running on the edge of the pool and make sure lap swimmers share their lanes properly. Lifeguards literally help everyone stay alive.

8. Nanny

Bottom 10% earn: $7.51 per hour
U.S. median salary: $10.31 per hour
Job description: Attend to children at schools, businesses, private households, and child-care institutions. Perform a variety of tasks, such as dressing, feeding, bathing, and overseeing play.

Most people agree that you can't put a price tag on a parent's work because it takes full focus and energy to do well. So why is it that nannies often earn so little for taking care of those same children? From getting kids up, dressed and fed in the morning to making sure they arrive on time to piano lessons and soccer practice, nannies often exhibit the exceptional patience and resourcefulness needed to keep a family running.

9. Automobile Mechanic

Bottom 10% earn: $7.78 per hour
U.S. median salary: $10.95 per hour
Job description: Repair automobiles, trucks, buses, and other vehicles. Master mechanics repair virtually any part on the vehicle or specialize in the transmission system.

When you take your car in to be repaired, you expect the mechanic -- whether brand new or a seasoned pro -- to quickly identify the problem and get your car back on the road again. It's complicated work that requires a great deal of knowledge, skill, and attention to detail. In time, most mechanics earn more for their toil.

10. Tax Preparer

Bottom 10% earn: $7.16 per hour
U.S. median salary: $9.15 per hour
Job description: Prepare tax returns for individuals or small businesses without the background or responsibilities of an accredited or certified public accountant.

What you do or do not tell Uncle Sam during tax season is very important for your bank account and your peace of mind. Maybe you do your own taxes, but many people trust their tax returns to someone else. A tax preparer enters all of your data into your forms before an accountant double-checks their work. It's an important job that needs to be done right.

NOTE: While pay rates vary from state to state, the jobs listed generally pay at or near minimum wage. Included, as well, is a job description from PayScale.com that lists job duties and the national median hourly rate a person makes in their first year on the job, according to PayScale.com. Some people earn less than this rate.

(no subject)

I don't know if I'll be going to work for the next couple of days, because the TTC has decided to strike, without giving the people of Toronto a 48 hour warning.

I could go on and on about how much this pisses me off.. but I will only say this now.

IF I DO NOT GO TO WORK, I DO NOT GET PAID. IF I DO NOT GET PAID, I DO NOT EAT.

Whatever issues they had, it is absolutely and increadibly greedy to hold a WHOLE city, and the people who pay their salaries, HOSTAGE. It is UNFAIR for them to do this to us.

I am like many MANY other people that work shift jobs, and DO NOT have ANY OTHER way to get to work. I am absolutely appauled that this was allowed to happen.

It's like a child having a tantrum in a grocery store to get a chocolate bar.. everytime the TTC or its employees do not get what they want... they strike, and they get what they want. And we have to deal with the outcome. Everytime they are pissy, they strike, and they will do it over and over again, cuz like a child's tantrum, it WORKS. They get what they want. They get their chocolate bar, while everyone else has to suffer. Someone has to tell the greedy bratty child to stop it now, and not give in. Too bad. Now someone has to say to the TTC that they can NOT throw a tantrum everytime they don't get what they want, and that it will no longer be tolerated. But politics are politics, and it is what it is, and we the poor people of Toronto, get FUCKED in the meantime. And when the strike is over, and everyone goes back to life, we STILL have to take the TTC, and we have to go on taking this bulshit. We can't do anything about it. How fair is that.

Note: This statement is coming from a TTC lover. I thank God that the TTC exists, and that I can live a semi-normal life in this city. But I am just really angry, and I'm stressed out as to how I'm gonna get to work tomorrow. I can't walk, it takes one and a half hours to get there ON THE TTc.. can you imagine how long of a walk that would be?? It's ludicrous to even entertain the thought of walking to and from work tomorrow.

So thank you TTC, for taking $54 out of my paycheck.. and if it goes on for more than one day, well then, I will have another $54 gone. Thanks a lot.

M

Edit: This is what happened tonight while I was downtown.
At 11pm tonight, my friend and I were at the McDonald's by Broadview station getting icecream, and this TTC lady came in, and told all the employees to make arrangements, cuz the TTC was striking at midnight.. and we listened as we ate our icecream, and kind of thought that it was a joke, and about 40 minutes later, we were walking past Brodview station, and there was a City TV camera guy there, so we hung around to see what was going on, and the employees inside started kicking everyone out, and people were just in a state of disbelief, and then all the people on the streetcars were just plopped on the bus platform, and they tried to go into the station, and by that time it had been locked solid. Everyone was so confused and shit.. It was surreal to watch. Luckily, my friend drives, so I got a ride home, but I am SO FUCKED for working tomorrow. :( I hate being held hostage in my own city.

MMMMMMMMMM CCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!

K well, let's just get this out of my system NOW lol.. so I don't bother up your Friend Pages for the next MONTH or so!

I waited for the new Mariah CD, and when I say waited.. I WAITED. I downloaded the whole cd, and put it on my iPod ONLY to play it AFTER I bought the actual CD (that way I didn't have to come home and rip it to the computer... I could actually listen to it on the way home). But I ended up sleeping in on Tuesday, when I was supposed to go to HMV and get the two versions of the CD that day. I went to work.. and WOOOOOO!!! Shoppers was selling it for 13.99 (plus my discount!! HAHA)

So I bought it,,, plus 4 magazines, and about 7 newspapers to cut out all the reviews and pics!
And I got home, and ended up listening to the CD on my computer anyways haha.

I listened to it a few times in a row, and here's what I thought!

For all those that don't care a bit about Mariah, I'm putting this behind a cut lol.

M
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(no subject)

So I thought that my journal needed a little change. We'll see how I like this for a while :)
Brown is meh.. but it's a change haha!
M