This Year's Model

OH HAI! 'member me?

Just checking in to say that abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING interesting or exciting has happened. At all.

KISSES!



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hey ya'll!!! i know i haven't been here for like 3 months, but guess what! something *amazing* happened. i turned 27! that doesn't seem amazing at all, but it totally is. for one thing, this marks an entire year spent without dying my hair since i was 11. plus, 27 is like so way officially on that "other side" of 25 that there is no turning back, and for the first time ever, i don't look at being responsible and practicle as being old and boring. being responsible is 90 kinds of kick ass! you know, i only have ONE bill past due, and i still have $700 in the bank. that has NEVER happened before. usually, if i have any money in the bank, i'm behind on all my bills. but look at me now, all grown up and responsible. so far ahead of the game, in fact, that i am getting a new tattoo on thursday, and it isn't affecting my budget at all. hell, did i tell ya'll that kevin bought a PLAYSTATION 3??? and that it wasn't deemed extravagant??? i mean, it probably was considering he's trying to start his own business and his car is still considered dead, but technically, we are both ahead of the game right now, and if i can get a new tattoo, then he can have his ps3, and he has $300 still and i have $700 and it's like wow, being a grown up is actually kind of gnarly!!!

except hey, it's 1 am on a tuesday and i'm drunk. what, i'm still sarah.

so here i am. hello.

it turns out that i *accidentally* rule as a graphic artist when catering to the average joe. for real. i made like a real estate type sign, and a top light design for a cab, and this thing for sid's wife (she's a teacher) that are all like so ultimately bitchin' despite being very square and boring. it's amazing.

work is a steaming pile, my friends. don't ever work for family. don't ever work for someone who has no business running a business. don't ever work for someone who can't make it to 10 in the morning without downing a case of busch. i love what i do, i really do. i want to practice polygamy and get married to my flatbed printer and adobe illustrator at the same time. the problem with my job is the environment. i dread going to work. i hate having to rely on the most unreliable people on the planet. now don't get me wrong, i love my mommy...but jesus that woman shouldn't be the one in charge of all of the information. she left work early today, at like 12:30 or so. between then and 4, we had like 3 people come in who she had promised could pick up their signs by close. none of were even aware these jobs existed. but we hammered them out, cuz that's what we do, and they were all pleased. it's just annoying that things like that happen ALL THE TIME. fucking work.

mr moto is sleeping on my lap and doing that cute twitching thing sleeping kitties do. he really is awesomeness.

you guys, i saw the worst thing i have ever seen in my life a few days ago.

i was driving down the road, like i do. and i noticed that the cars ahead of me kept stopping and going around something in the lane, i assumed it was like a box or something cuz pensacola seems to be a haven for cardboard boxes falling out of pick up trucks. but as i approached, i realized it was not a box. it was a golden retriever. dead. still on the leash. and an older woman was holding the leash and crying like a baby. i pulled off the road and looked through my car to see if i had anything at all to help move the dog with. another car pulled off in front to do the same. neither of us knew each other or the woman. another car stopped coming the other direction and called 911 to see what they should do, cuz it was a big ass dog. she didn't know the woman either. eventually, the woman's son came out with a tarp, he and the other guy sort of wrapped the dog up and moved it off the street while the other woman asked the 911 people what to do, and i found an old newspaper to add to the tarp, cuz it was clear and nobody needed to see all that mess. all of the woman's neighbors were just staring. watching. 3 total fucking strangers stopped to help, and her damn neighbors gawked. and i wanted to badly to find the car that hit this dog and run that asshole over 9 times. it broke my heart. i have seen plenty of animals that had been hit on the side of the road, but never one that had like JUST gotten hit 5 seconds ago. what kind of shit head does that, runs over someone's pet and just hauls ass? i mean i know, you gotta feel pretty shitty about doing that and not want to face the people whose pet you hit, but come on, help the woman out. have the decency to apologize. it was clearly an accident; the woman had put the leash on the dog to walk him, and he just ran. it happens. it's sad, but it happens. don't be an asshole and kill the dog and drive away. that's fucked up. i don't know what i'd do if i lost either of my babies. even though they destroy my house, it's worth it to know they're safely inside where cars don't tend to drive. i remember when brian told me his kitty got hit by a car, and i was like nooooo cuz his kitty was bad ass. *sigh* i don't know. i just don't get how people can be so mean. like i know i have a problem getting all anthropomorphic with my kitties, all kittes and puppies and fish and birds and hamsters...i know most people don't think of animals as people. and logically, they're not. but does that make them less important, less alive? if someone hit a fucking kid, they'd fucking stop! i could tell by the way the woman was crying and refusing to let go of the leash that it wasn't just some dog, some pet, some animal she had. it was family, and some asshole ran over it and left it dead. needless to say, i wasn't actually very helpful in the whole ordeal, but i tried, which is more than i can say for this woman's asshole neighbors.
now i'm not what one would call an "animal rights" type of girl. i love steak and bacon and chicken and turkey, my couch is suede and a number of my shoes and belts are leather. so it seems kind of hypocritical. i don't know. if someone had a pet cow, i wouldn't eat it. it's their pet. it's their family. any animal with a name doesn't get eaten. thems the rules.
and any fucker messes with my babies gets the claw end of a hammer to the skull.

so there's this type of person i hate. i like to think i'm a pretty open-minded gal, but i have to admit, there are certain prejudices i can't help attaining to. like when i a group of 30-something women in matching tennis outfits show up at chili's during lunch hour on a friday, i automatically hate them.

and usually, my hate is not unwarranted.

every friday, kevin and i go to lunch. and it's usually chili's cuz it's like right next door to our bank, and we only have a freaking hour, and we can both get steak AND nachos for less than $30. so shut up about me eating at chili's. anyways. this wasn't even today friday, this was last week friday, and we were still so pissed off that we went to friday's instead. and if you haven't had their fried mac and cheese, i suggest you do so post haste. it is a delight. also, the cheesy bacon cheeseburger, with this heart-attack inducing chunk of fried provolone on top? delish.

so anywas, last friday we went to chili's. and the woman who was there in front of us (who also cut me off and stole my parking space) was "reserving" an eating area for her and her 10 friends. this woman was wearing a black and hot pink tennis outfit. yes. i know.

so naturally, since there were two of us and a million of here, who weren't even there yet, kevin and i got seated first. and we actually had out steaks on our table by the time the remainder of this woman's black and hot pink tennis outfit garbed companions showed up. with extras...two of them brought their 2 children (making a total fo 4 children...ew) and one brought her husband. so it ended up being a party of like a billion. anyways. the considerate host, who hasn't realized that we go there like every friday and spend a fair amount of money for only 2 people, decided that our oddly arranged booth area would be just PERFECT for this gang of rich tennis bitches. and while they were all loudly gathered around us trying to decide where everyone was going to sit, this one bitch actually said, and i quote: "maybe we can get them to move." and by "them" she meant kevin and i. and now...okay. i'm not a mean person. but FUCK THESE BITCHES. maybe we can "get" them to move. not "ask politely" but "get." who the fuck does this cunt rag think she is? i had the A-1 on my steak. why the fuck should i move cuz some dumb club of rich tennis whores couldn't plan ahead? i was outraged. needless to say, we didn't move, nor did they ask us. two nearby tables recently emptied, so they were moved together to accomodate this obnoxious group of bitches who clearly "deserved" to be treated better than us. but also, they shared our waitress. who we never saw again. i didn't get the box i requested to bring the rest of my steak and nachos home in. in fact, our appetizers and meals were brought by different women, neither of whom were our waitress. as she was very busy with her important rich bitch tennis group.

fuckers.

the children, i might add, were incredibly well behaved. the adults, on the other hand - loud, obnoxious, demanding, rude fucking CUNTS.

as much as i hate being poor white trash, if that is what money does to people, then fuck it, i'll stay poor white trash. cuz that was just absurd. it's been a week, and i am STILL fuming over these cunts and their self-reightous attitudes. like who the fuck are you bitches to think i should move so you can sit together? who the fuck are you to think your time is more important than mine? also, when any group of people literally cheers over the arrival of their corona and lime? they are automatically fucking useless. especially if 2 of them are dragging their fucking children along. okay, i've been known to head to the bar and imbibe then drive myself home. and i know i shouldn't. and i know i'm putting others in danger. but at least i'm not knowingly putting my own stuck up children in danger. AT LUNCH no less. who the fuck drinks at lunch?

oh that's right. stuck up rich useless cunt faced tennis bitches. in matching outfits.

fuckers.

in other news, i rented this movie tonight, and i enjoyed it. maybe it's the beer and the head cold talking, but it was seriously hilarious. providing you don't take it seriously for a second. it also reinforced my undying love for dominique swain. she totally tops my list of girls i'd go gay for.

on the way home today, i was stopped at a red light, maybe 3 cars back. there was a regular lane to the right of me and left turn lane to the left of me. a fellow on a bicycle (who just so happened to be african american) was weaving between cars to cross the street, rather than using the bicycle lane that exists for a reason, and a car behind me that was driving in the left turn lane nearly hit him. this woman was clearly freaked out; as she passed me she had this look of horror on her face like "omg i almost killed that fellow on the bicycle!" there was a truck behind her, and the gentleman driving the truck honked his horn and yelled something along the lines of "watch where you're going!" to the bicyle man, who was in a parking lot across the street at this point. bicycle man stopped and yelled something to the effect of "cracker ass cracker." the light turned green and i proceeded to drive, and the woman who nearly hit the bicyclist was at the light waiting to turn, and she still looked rather shaken up over the whole to-do.

so. this black fellow (and yes, i say black, fuck you) was in the wrong, not paying attention and riding his bike all willy-nilly though the streets. yet, he still felt he was in the right to yell racial slurs at the woman who did NOT run into him. hm.

it reminded me of this one time 100 years ago (yes children, i am old) when danielle and i were hanging out at the uncle bob's storage shed where joey's band used to practice, and we had to go to the store down the street to buy cigarettes or something, and when i pulled out, a guy in the other lane - who i was not at all cutting off - pulled behind me, honked at me, called me a "peckerhead motherfucker," pulled back into the other lane and turned the other way. now, the fact that he turned the other implied that he had never planned on getting in my lane in the first place and only did so with the intent of calling me a peckerhead motherfucker. hm. did i mention that this fellow was also african american?

let's turn the tables for a second.

let's assume a caucasian fellow had been on the bicycle, and an african american woman had nearly hit him. but didn't. cuz she had wonderful reflexes. if the white bicyclist had yelled "stupid nigger" at the black driver, would that have been acceptable? if i had been a black woman, and a white guy - that i did not cut off at all - had called me a "fucking porch monkey" would that have been acceptable?

why does this amazing double standard exist, where i, as a presumably white female, can get called cracker, honkey, etc. and i am expected to not get offended? yet, a presumably white person can't use any sort of racial slurs, even in jest, without getting criticized?

personally, i think race is an awesome thing. i think being proud of where you come from and who you are, no matter where and who, is lovely. i think thinking of yourself as more entitled due to your race is where the problem comes in. my family is a big old mix, everything from polish to indian. it's the anglo blood that dominates, thus i am considered "white." which is fine, i could care less. i check "other" on forms, i don't identify with any culture, i'm just sarah. i digress. people who know of their lineage tend to celebrate it. for example, i know many people of irish heritage who are fiercely proud of that, and that's super. people of all sorts of ethnicities wave their flags proudly. kudos to them, i say. it must be nice to have such a secure sense of who you are.

but, if i may interject, why is it okay to think you're better than someone cuz of that? that's just retarded. and what, if i may ask, makes it okay for non-white people to call me or any other white person a cracker? i don't think i've ever taken offense to being called cracker. i think it's silly. and quite funny. plus, put some cheddar cheese on a cracker, and it is a delicious snack. so there's that. i just want to know why it's okay for other races to call me a cracker, but it's not okay for me to call other races spic, nigger, kyke, chink, heeb, etc. not that i want to. not to be all dirty hippie or anything, but i don't give a shit where you came from. if you're a good person, then that's all that matters. not like that bullshit "i don't see color" line, cuz i can look at a person and see that they're black or whatever, and i will note "that is a black person." it won't form my opinion, but it is something i know. they are black. that is a fact. will they call me a cracker if i almost run them over? i don't know. i hope so, so i can giggle about it.

two and a half hours later, i am wondering if the bicycle fellow got home and bitched about some "cracker bitch" almost running him over. hm. also, i have noticed that the word bicycle is very hard to type and is rather odd looking.


i wish top model would come on sooner.

after a series of truly awful days, i finally had a few decent hours last nite. i got to watch the flyers beat the shit out of the red wings (6-1 bitches!) AND i got to watch a referee fall down. backwards. right on his ass. all in all, not a bad hockey game. plus, this new goaltender philadelphia has is my new fucking hero. seriously, as much as i love niittymaki, he is riding the bench as long as leighton is around and esche is injured. this boy is just fab. actually, considering how terrible esche is, they just just make leighton their starting goalie and push esche off a cliff. seriously, the asshole has kid rock airbrushed on his helmet. what a douche.

work was nucking futs this week. i had 23 orders to print for one company, let alone all the regular jobs i had sitting around. 24 faces glued to make 12 signs each. each order used 4 sheets of material. what's 23 times 4? i don't know cuz i suck at math, but that's a shitload of work. see, we somehow got this "group order" for a bunch of realtors from this one company that allows their agents to have sort of customized personal yard signs. meaning almost every asshole there wanted something different. then the guy in charge of the company decided he had to approve every single one of them and made a bunch of changes. and since the guy in charge made everyone wait like a week before we could even start, all the agents were super pissed about having to wait so long. whatever, we went in saturday and worked 5 hours and stayed 2 hours yesterday. they're all done now, dammit, and i'm never printing another predominately red sign again as long as live. i hate red. i don't even want to go in my kitchen anymore. anyway, i wasted like 4 days on that group order, so now all my other shit is behind, and i just want to set the place on fire. honestly.

plus, something in my warehouse stinks to high heaven and i cannot find the source for the life of me. it's horrible, this disgusting homeless man who shits his pants smell. awful.

so the new wave station i listen to at work on aaron's satellite radio...okay, i get it that the police getting back together and touring is just amazing. but honestly, it's not that amazing. so this faux british dj needs to shut the balls up. also, i hate the way he says erasure. it's enough to make not like erasure anymore. plus he goes off on these tangents on why satellite radio is better and plays more songs than regular radio...and yet, i hear the same exact songs every day on this station. and 75% of them are songs i could hear on regular radio. if i were the one paying for this service, i would be hella pissed.

yesterday my car was all wonky and i took it to big 10 and am now $330 poorer. why the hell do tires and alignment have to cost so damn much? i was going to get a new tattoo. but nooooooo.

i'm super cold, super tired, and super in need of a shower.

i thought that was pretty funny.

anyway.

fucking degrassi. those motherfuckers.

yes, i cried like a little bitch when jimmy got shot, and i ran around my house screaming "oh my god, he killed jimmy!," even though he didn't...just crippled him. and yes, i cried like a little bitch when jt was in the hospital and liberty told him she was giving the baby up for adoption. so i was prepared to cry like a bitch when i finally watched *the* episode. you guys, this was so much worse. you'd think someone in my family had just died. you'd think it was like my mom or something. i mean...just wow.
i know it's ridiculous. i know he wasn't a real guy and that ryan cooley is alive and well. it's a matter of principle. i've been watching this stupid ass show for like 5 years. since jt was a dorky little 12 year old. he was like some silly little cousin or something. i loved that boy. and, with the exceptions of toby and liberty, i would've preferred any other character get stabbed. manny? check. ellie? sure. even jimmy, even though i do love him. even terri. bring back terri for one episode and stab her. anyone by my cute little jt. *sigh*
plus, that fucking ginger stabbed him in the BACK. what the hell, man? not only did he not see it coming and not have any attempt to fend you off, but he died in a puddle of your damn piss! that's it, i'm going to canadia and finding that boy and pushing him off a bridge. nobody does that to my little jt and lives!
i hate you, degrassi. I HATE YOU.
speaking of degrassi, wtf happened to the following people : chester, hazel, kendra, tim, towerz, chris and amy? they all just vanished. i kinda get that hazel graduated and went off to college or whatever, but they never really mentioned that. and CELLO, kendra is spinner's sister and he's a pretty main character, so you'd think his sister would still like...exist. and terri, like...i get that her dad sent her to another school after that rick-put-her-in-a-coma thing, but if she was paige's bff, wouldn't she at least warrant the occasional mention?
also, this derek kid, danny's newish bff...it boggles the mind, but he's so fug that he's bordering on adorable. i honestly don't get it.
god, i hate this show.

i remember one hundred years ago when i was new to the internets and frequented these old-timey contraptions we used to call "aol chat rooms." the ones i liked the most were the music chat rooms cuz...well, cuz i think next to getting a tattoo, listening to music is the best thing there is. let's keep in mind this was one hundred years ago and i was between the ages of 14 and 19. there were alot of conversations that went like so:

aol teen a: DUZ NE1 HEAR LIKE GREEN DAY?
aol teen b: i do! they r my FAV band! i have both there cds! billy joe is SO HAWT!
aol teen c: you are poseurs!
aol teen d: i like their old stuff, but they are sell-outs!
aol teen e: you guys are all stupid. green day sux!
aol teen a: YOU SUX CUZ G.D R THE BEST BAND EVAR!!!11!

ah, memories.

anyway, i was just thinking about how fucking stupid people are, and for some reason, this popped into my head.

i know it's typical of 15 year olds to think they know everything. when i was 15, i thought i knew everything. and in retrospect, i was 100% incorrect. but i was 15, and that was an obligatory character flaw. but one thing i never got, and still don't get, is people considering their opinions as fact. it just bugs the shit out of me. like okay...i like alot of stuff that people find silly. and i'm cool with that. i like things for me, not to impress other people. alot of people like things that i find silly. hell, the fucking pusscat dolls went platinum. it's absurd to me that so many people like those trannies! and do i have the right to think people who like the pussycat dolls are stupid? yes i do. is it a FACT that people who like the pussycat dolls are stupid? since no formal study has been done on that particular subject, then no, it is not a fact. there could be a dozen or more people who are very intelligent and who also like the pussycat dolls. the best human being alive might well be a huge fan of the pussycat dolls. will my estimation of this person drop due to the fact that they like the pussycat dolls? probably. am i a bitch for that? most likely. but will i intensely hate this person and go "omg you are a fucking retard cuz you like the pussycat dolls!"? well, i won't say it to them. and even if i think it, i am wrong. and i just might get along very well and become bffs with said person. not all people who like the pussycat dolls are idiots. i can say this cuz i am comfortable with my own silliness and don't feel the need to be cool for anyone. now why the fuck can't everyone else in the whole world just be cool with everyone else?

god people are fucking annoying.

has anyone found mandi for me yet? i miss her.