The number of degrees Fahrenheit it is currently outside. 50. The number of degrees Fahrenheit is currently is inside my dorm room. Evidently the heaters in the building have been broken for the past two days.
From last night on, my weekdays will be spent like everyone else’s here at the squadron. I am no longer allowed to go home to the inviting warmth of my bed; to enjoy the satisfaction of sleeping next to my husband. Captain Estrada expressed his concern about me leaving the squadron at night, puzzled as to why SSgt. Bradley had allowed such a thing without consulting her superiors. Evidently day CQ gets the short end of the stick while night CQ has all day off with the capability of venturing off-base. I feel like my fellow day CQ-ers and I are being robbed. I really can’t wait to get out of tech school.
I’m tired of this place. I’m tired of my dorm room. I’m tired of bossy MTLs who feel like coming to work hours later than their appointed shift - in sweatpants and a hoodie. I’m tired of being so close to home and so far away at the same time. And I’m tired of this goddamn mouse eating my food!
This mouse has the audacity to chew into 1. A dark chocolate Ferrero Rocher 2. Can of peanuts 3. My last Cup-a-Noodle and 4. A Nutty Buddy Bar. Dastardly mouse. Hopefully the mousetrap I put in my drawer contains him well enough for me to find him -- dead.
We’ll see how this goes. I shall report this tomorrow.
It’s now been 17 days of marriage. I had posted on my Facebook page that the only light was that our parents are now accepting of us sleeping in the same bed. Although comical, it’s just one perk amongst many.
The most recently passed years have taught me a lot about priorities; priorities of friends, priorities of the men I dated, priorities of relationships, and most importantly priorities of my own. I’ve made mistakes in every relationship I’ve been in and I’m not ashamed of it. I’ve learned more through my mistakes than through my first-time successes. Yeah, I’ve had to make the same mistake more than a socially acceptable number, but hey? I learned, didn’t I? Each failed relationship (or relation) taught me a few things to use towards the next guy who stepped up to bat. And did this last guy knock it outta the park.
Not going to lie -- I didn’t think this kid would last very long. He was shy, goofy, and lacked the bad boy allure I was so dangerously attracted to. Like with a hefty percentage of my relationships, I figured it would be a quick turnover, as I crush hard and bore easy. I anticipated our first time hanging out to be awkward, as we had only communicated over Facebook in tit-for-tat comments on each other’s walls. Cornyval in May 2010 was our first official event. Along with the two of us, another pair of gals was with us -- but they don’t matter (: I had a blast at the carnival and afterward we snagged a Blast at Sonic. As I sat in his lap and ran my fingers through his hair, I realized that I was diggin’ this kid. He was charming and hadn’t a cocky bone in his body, which made him easy to talk to.
As the weeks past we spent entirely too much time in each other’s company. I was finding excuses to go ride with him and he ditched his friends for time alone with me. He was my shoulder when I was stressed and confused about life and my stupid decisions. He never turned me away, all the while knowing how selfish I was. He was patient and kind, but hadn’t enough self-confidence to tell me what a horrible person I was for playing someone else. I’ve always had the need to be wanted by others-- the reason why every single one of my past relationships failed. He knew he shouldn’t have been messing around with me, but he didn’t want to lose me, and I didn’t want to lose him.
I wasn’t ready to settle down and wasn’t mature enough for the man I was with. Moving into my own apartment brought on challenges of a different caliber and again, a change of priorities. More hours at work to pay bills meant less time studying and less time participating in the activities I loved. A place to myself was a catalyst of bad decisions. Between time spent with my new boyfriend and not enough spent with my nose in the books; and skipping classes for hours at work, grades began to slip and my future took a whirl in a new direction. Priorities changed once more.
Money money money -- the key to everything in life, it seems. My goal was to pay off all my debt and go back to school, but no school meant more time for fun with him and that goal was quickly pushed aside. I was called on to active duty with the Air Force, which brought on new priorities. The thought of being away from him was difficult, as we had spent every day together for nearly a year. One phone call a week and a few letters hardly seemed sufficient for us. We made it through strong and he proposed on the day I received my Airman’s coin and we quickly started talk of a court wedding. Our plans were frowned upon by both sets of parents but we pushed for what we wanted -- and we did it.
Now with a plan for a big wedding next year, a new car, house, and kids -- priorities are more important than ever. Our biggest one: SAVE MONEY and PAY OFF OUR DEBTS so we can buy the things we want.
We’ve been through a surprisingly interesting mix of events that has brought us closer than ever. There isn’t another man on the planet that I could ever want to be with, and keeping him happy is my biggest priority.
Are for the weary. I thought the weekend was supposed to be fun. My weekends are spent friendless and even more upsetting, husbandless. Only a week into my marriage and I've spent all of 10 hours of it awake with my new hubby. I expected government hours were a perk, not a hindrance. I pictured the events of today consisting of wandering aimlessly around the mall enjoying the breeze and the warmth of my husband's hand in mine; browsing through the countless items neither of us have the money to purchase. Snapping pictures of our silly faces and of stuck-up shoppers strutting about La Cantera's brick pathways. Instead today is spent here at my parent's house watching "The Duchess", alone in a room occupied by both my parents and two lazing cats. The minutes drag by as I anticipate tonight's festivities with a distanced coincidental friendship. It had better make up for the developing bedsores on my ass and legs. The problem with waking up so early is that the day goes by much slower; A commonly known fact - unless you're a frequent noon awaken-er.
Oh, joy! Mother bear has awoken from her slumber and we are now on the fast track to Northstar Mall. Off we go, in to the wild San Anto!
I have yet to receive them. I'm getting a little antsy and rather annoyed at the fact that I haven't gotten any yet. I'm anxious to know where my life is headed.
Would be amazing if I stayed here. Would be a great opportunity for me and Remy to start off strong. Save up mad cash for the wedding we'd like next year. And for a house and a car. It will all come with time, but I know that if I were stationed here, that time would be less.
On the other hand, starting off somewhere new would be refreshing.
Can't say that I remember the majority of them -- or do I just not dream that often? Does everyone dream or is it possible to just fall into a black hole of nothingness when you sleep? Hell if I know.
I've been working a lot this past week. I had 39 hours and I got 4 hours holiday pay :D This is going to be a bombass paycheck. Just what I need after this shitty one. I will be short on rent 150 this month. I either have to sell my internal organs for cash or pick up prostitution after a long day slaving at my register. Are guys into a woman smelling like saw dust? Can I use that? Either way, I need the money, and I need it by Wednesday. Time to pray to the cash cow.
Just in case you didn't know, Remy + Leanne = the bee's knees. Neither of us have any money what so ever, so we just have a great time enjoying the company of each other. The other night we made a fire in his backyard and roasted marshmallows and popped popcorn on the fire. It was cold that night but the fire and Remzore's arms kept me warm :] The only money we really spend is for gas just to see one another. We have such a wonderful time, I can't get over it!!!
It's time for this little girl to go mimi's. Gotta beat traffic down to BAMC to pick up my baby stoppers. These two months without them have been hell :[ Moody, PIMPLES are back, CRAMPS are horrible - UGHHH. But no more after tomorrow :D. G'night LJ
It's been a while, yes - I know. Too much has happened in between now and the last post. Lots of tears shed and smiles shown. School is kablooey and work is now going to consume the better part of my days. Making a living is incredibly hard on a Home Depot pay check. It seems almost easier to be a criminal to make a living than spend my days slaving to the retail world. Don't get me wrong - I love my job, but let's face it; the pay isn't too rewarding. It always irks me seeing Snooky's chubby face on TV leaving me wondering why she makes more money than me when I have much more talent, brains, and beauty than she could ever pay to have. Cockiness? No. Confidence. Get some.
So, if you haven't seen or heard already, I am now girlfriend of Remy Locascio. Can't say that things are going smoothly, but it could be worse. We have lots of laughs and I make him giddy -- but he'll never show that side to his friends. It's always that way with boys. Always.
Apparently whoever is in charge of the universe said that I would go though a mid-college life crisis and has decided fuck up everything just for shits and giggles. I'm not in a good position in any situation. Doors are quickly shitting so hard they're splitting the frames. I'm constantly chasing the storm in anything I pursue and I don't know when or even if I will ever be truly happy with the route I chose. Why can't I just go for something and for once have it play out in my favor? Why?
School is not going too well. ROTC is totally linked with school. That whole thing is a big ball of yarn after a kitten has played with it for two hours.
Remy and I have hit a brick wall 5,000 feet high and I wasn't graced with a vertical extraordinary enough to even graze over it. I try so fucking hard in everything I do and I always lose in the end. Always.
Guess that means it's time to stop trying. Here we go.
It's nice sitting on my porch drinking my Sierra Mist watching the lightning and feeling rain on my skin drawn in by the cool breeze. I want to play it in, but it just stopped and I would feel bad not taking the puppy. I'm too lazy to dry her afterward.
So I'm looking for my speeding ticket. The court date should be coming up here soon within two weeks. I just looked and I can pay my ticket online with a credit card! Wowza. I'm going to call tomorrow and see how that works....The ticket will probably stay on my record...at least I wont have to pay a court fee.
There are some things that are pissing me off so I'm going to go now.
Last night was Halloween and I spent the night significantly different than past Halloween nights. I worked all morning and half of the afternoon. Momma Kelly was kind enough to let me have a cute little couch to put in my apartment. It fits well and is pretty comfy too!. Mayra came by and dropped off a TV stand for my non-existent TV. I put my stereo on top so it's been dubbed the stereo stand. *buh dump, tschhh* Bryan came over and helped me move the couch in. It is greatly appreciated. We played with the dog, who he misses very much, and we did my first load of laundry at the new apartment. We went out for a Chinese Buffet dinner. SO yummy! I've missed all you can eat Chinese. Then I spent the rest of the night in using my newly installed internet! Finally after over a week of not having internet. It really wasn't that bad since I wasn't usually home at night. Now Jeremy can come over to do homework and we can actually get shit done.
Things are slowly falling into place. And when I mean slowly, I mean slower than a snail's pace. But I see it getting better in a month or two. Money, rather the lack of it, was keeping me on my toes. Rent was paid this morning and the cable guy was paid yesterday. I should have a few dollars left over in my checking account for gas money next week. Next paycheck will be used on utilities and credit card bills. Come on 12 Nov!!! Gimme dat money :)
Went out on the 30th for a couple of parties. Stopped in at a party Dennis invited me to. Couldn't stay long b/c Whitney was getting overwhelmed with all the smoke and Mayra had to get Steven. We hit up another party that Remy told us about. It took us a while to find, goddamn. The party was pretty cool. Lots of neat people there. Pictures are up so take a look.
There is something about a crotch rocket that makes its rider fucking irresistible. I see a boy on a bike and my eyes glaze over and the voice in my head says, "oooooh, I like." This definitely has the same effect for a girl rider, but I wanna ditch the girl. Ever since my first bike ride, I've been perpetually attracted to guys on crotch rockets. I wonder if I'll ever again date a guy without a bike.
There is something about the vibration of the bike; feeling every bump and notch in the road; the warm air hitting your neck as you pass cars; how gravity pulls you as your make that sharp turn; or even how your pulled back when you open up the throttle. It's a new appreciation now that I don't have a bike to ride. Riding as a passenger has it's perks just as well. I feel all the same things, except I'm not the one controlling the bike. The surprise in speed and vector thrill me as my helmet is pushed closer to my face and my feet rest closer to the ground as the bike leans further.
Addiction? Perhaps. I'm still scared every time I climb on a bike. Anything can happen. The comfort and safety of a 4-wheeled vehicle is no longer there. There isn't a seat belt to keep me safely wrapped in the seat. Sitting comfortably in a plush seat with air condition hardly takes any stamina while operating a vehicle. You have to use your arms, legs, back and abs to keep yourself stable on a bike. Something car drivers don't appreciate. You can be so mindless driving a car. Riding a bike for an extended period of time is mentally exhausting. Even at short distances, you have to watch out for everything. Riding a motorcycle has definitely made me a more defensive driver.
Class is almost over. ROTC time, then dinner with two awesome boys. I get to ride in Dennis' new car to the car meet tonight :) I'm excited.
cold
aggravated
anxious
sleepy
Distraught
calm