Nostalgia

I had a really surreal experience today. 

I was walking the dog over the showground as usual, but something seemed a bit different today. I have lived in the same village all my life. I have moved three times but all within the village (essentially working our way up the high street. I have never not lived in the village, until I went to university for four years where I lived in Southampton. I really enjoyed living in Southampton, it was so different from what I was used to in my tiny village, you could walk everywhere to the shops, to buy milk, to the train station, there was more than one bus in terms of transport and all my friends were in one place and within walking distance, and didn't require any extra travel costs. I have been coming back home at weekends, but that's mostly to see family and friends, and rarely did I have any time that could be spared not doing much.

But of course I moved back home, and have been living here near enough 2-3 weeks. But today is the first day I've suddenly been hit by a wave of nostalgia. Its very strange. Where I walk the dog is right past the village primary school, where I went myself when I was very little. Usually at the time I go the kids are all in lessons, but this time, I found it was break time, and so all the kids were running around and shouting and playing.

I actually got a little choked up. I remember my time at primary school far better than secondary school, I had such fun, and some lovely friends. I remember playing bulldog in the playground until the teachers told us it was unsafe, I remember collecting conkers and sticking them in bowls of vinegar so they would be harder to break. The gate at the playground would be where my dad picked me up on Fridays (he finished work early on Fridays, and always picked me up from primary school because he could). Fridays would be 'Treat Day' and we would go down to the local sweet shop and I would spend my pocket money on sweeties. (The building is still there, but it has been converted into a house now, which is a little sad).

When you go past the primary school, the village playground is a little down the path. It has changed three times since I have lived there. When I was little, it had a huge metal slide, and a metal climbing frame, an old cranky metal roundabout and three huge tire swings with two painted yellow, and one red. It wasn't much, but it was our playground at the time. I remember that the slide didn't really work as it burnt your bum on your way down, and in the summer it would get so hot you couldn't go on it. The climbing frame was lots of fun, as we played games where it would be several people's forts and the others would try and take it over with water pistols and sticks.

I never liked what they changed it to after we had it, they made it too baby-ish. The new climbing frame was rubbish, and they only had two swings put in, and a rubbish roundabout. Maybe it was because my friends and I were all a bit bitter about them wrecking 'our' playground for babies, but we never liked it. The new playground however looks quite nice. There's a few things I wouldn't mind having a play on myself. Not on my own though, as that might seem a bit weird. But it looks very nice.

When you walk down the path there is a split in the road. The path goes straight on past the public toilets and tiny cricket club car park to the main high street. Or you can go down this tiny little path on either side are these huge bushes that run down its entire length, and entre onto a Cul-de-sac type area. In my first house, this would be where I would go to get home. I remember cycling bikes up there on summer evenings, or roller blades, I had a pink jumper covered in sweets which I would always wear down the little path. It was sort of a 'halfway point' I suppose.

I don't know why I felt so nostalgic about it, it had me a little upset really. I am a person who dislikes change. I can't stand it as I am terrified of the thought of forgetting important things, and to me, to have something to connect to memories helps you remember it. I don't know if I'm glad to be home or not, I've always said I never want to officially move from the village, but I never know if I can really move on if I stay and get so upset about things I miss so much.

Sorry about the misery post. I just had to get it out there. Hope everyone had a nice day :)