Loving is fine if it's not in your mind

He tried.
He always tried.

But he also got tired of not succeding...
then he started all over again.

He tried.
All goddammed days.
To be normal.
To be kind.
To be loveable.

But he was always suspicious.
Always wondering if anyone would hit him from behind.
Aways scared of being attacked.
Always frightened.
Always disturbed.
Always alone.


- Mad at you? No man, believe me, when I get mad at you... let's just say that you'll know then...
- Well, by the time you really get mad at me then I would also get mad at you. And I hope it won't happen because of an stupidity. But, whatever.

Tittle: 'Lame poem'
Author: mireya_11
Pairing: H/W
Rating: none
Summary: Somehow Wilson manages to mix his feelings and some vodka.
Note: This is such a lame poem. I'm so sorry. But thought someone might find it at least inspiriting. Not for the fact of being this good (cause obviously it's not, specially the last line) but cause, I think, the idea (the main idea) is a good one. Sorry, just feeling weird today. Couldn't see Sherlock Holmes 2 on-line... I'm so sad.
Disclaimer: *crazy-face* They are... M I N E ! *coughs* Well... uhmm *runs*






Sometimes you just want to go free.
To let go.
To live.

And then you realize there's something grabbing you.
There's something that keeps you from escaping.
Something that keeps you from leaving.
A thing that keeps you from living.

This is a reason to slow down.
It's the reason that forces you to stay.
It's your reason to maintain your sanity.
It's the only reason to behave.

But this reason has a brain,
has it's own blue windows,
and it's own two legs...

This reason has a name,
the keys to your apartment,
a drastic like for pain,
and your heart inside a chain.

Tittle: 'Apart' [One-too-long-shot]
Author: mireya_11
Pairing: H/W
Rating: none
Summary: 'But he just hangs his head in pain and prays to hear him say No more, I'll never leave again...' (modified lyrics of The Cure - Apart)
Note: Forgive me for being so lazzy... and such a bad writer *sighs* Lyrics at the end (on blue) belongs to The Cure - Apart. Long life to The Cure <3
Made to: the disappeared hang_monet
Disclaimer: *crazy-face*                          They are... M I N E !                *coughs* Well... uhmm                 *runs*

It’s always the same weird feeling.

First it was amusement.
Then he got angry, very angry and destroyed everything that used to belong to him.
And then... he got sad.

It felt like a cold... a very long and painful cold.
And for five years he waited.

It was the same old sad joke.
Like the bride who didn’t allow herself to cry, not even when everyone had left from the wedding.

And so what? Why should he care about other’s gossip? None of them mattered.
But again, the problem was that the only one who mattered wasn’t there to complain about his lack of care for other human beings.

No. It was only he now.
He was too used to that... too tired...

---------

The familiar sound of the door slamming makes him grin madly. So he decided to retire? Good. So he wanted them to move forward with their relationship? Even better. So he wanted to marry? Awesome, no problem with that (especially not with the honeymoon). But wanting him to grab his parents into their wedding was definitely off the table.

- Why not?! They will eventually find out

- Yes but not by me.

- What’s the problem about it? Will your father stand up and hit you and the middle of the ceremony or something?

- No

- Then what’s the fucking problem House?! I don’t understand!

- It’s none of your business

- I beg you pardon?! OF COURSE IT’S MY FREAKING BUSINESS! I’M GOING TO BE YOUR HUSBAND!

- It’s still none of your business; there is nothing about not saying things to his wife...

- I’m not your wife House, I’m going to be your husband and if you want to keep it that way you better tell me right   now why you don’t want them to be around. You better start trusting me.

- And what are you going to do, Jimmy? Are you gonna hit me? Are you going to leave me?

- Yes! YES HOUSE I’M GOING TO LEAVE YOU IN THIS VERY MOMENT IF YOU DON’T GROW UP AND TELL ME WHY   YOU DON’T WANT YOUR PARENTS TO BE ON THE WEDDING. YOUR WEDDING. OUR WEDDING, HOUSE.

- Is my turn to play with words, mommy? Can I play, can I play? Pleeeease...

- HOUSE I AM NO JOKING!

- But mooom... it’s not funny that way!

- House... try for once to get serious with me and answer the dammed question! Why you don’t want your father   to come to our wedding?!

- BECAUSE I DON’T WANT HIM TO SEE THE STUPID SISSY THAT HIS SON HAS BECOME! THAT’S WHY! ARE YOU HAPPY   NOW, WILSON? ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH THAT ANSWER NOW?!

When House sees the damage it’s too late.
Well... he will way until he comes back and then he will say the truth.
The stupid truth that he didn’t want to show to Wilson.

He decides to drink a little so he will get brave enough to say it three hours later.
But three hours passed.
So maybe 6 hours.
And nothing.
Tomorrow, maybe?
Nope.

A week. A moth. A year.
Five years now.

It’s not like if he didn’t try to find him. He did. But he just couldn’t. It was like trying to catch smoke with your hands. It keeps going away.





--------

Another stupid case.
Another stupid lie.
Another stupid patient who will die no matter what.

Case solved.

But something, something clicks inside House’s brain and he remembers where he had seen that before... so long ago...

-  You, were did you find that ring?

-  Why is that even relevant? I am going to die, leave me alone

So this is going to be another useless conversation.
House takes out the big guns... and cuts the morphine.

- If you don’t start to tell me all that you know about that ring you will die... but with pain... sweet and inevitably pain... fair, don’t you think?

- What?! Are you nuts?! Don’t be ridiculous that’s...

- Unethical?... well, that’s my second name, uh? So... were I was? Oh yes... the sweet and inevitably pain... but I’m   sure that I mentioned that already...

- But you are a doc-... what the...? it hurts... Oh God it hurts!... STOP IT PLEASE MAKE IT STOP PLEASEE...

- I am sure that I told you about the inevitably pain... maybe I forgot to mention how quickly that was going to be...

- STOP IT JACKASS I WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING STOP IT S-T-O-P-I-T...!

- First the information, don’t you think? In case you want to cheat

- ARE YOU CRAZY? S-T-O-P THIS PLEASEEE!!

- Let me spell it for you... I-N-F-O-R-M-A-T-I-O-N... R-I-N-G... N-O-W!

- MY UNCLE GAVE IT TO ME. IT BELONGED TO SOMEONE CALLED WILSON I GUESS, NO ONE CAME, NO ONE ASKED.   THEY BERRIED HIM. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. PLEASE.

As he walked out the room the nurses hurried inside to control the patient’s screams. Wilson. Berried. No one.

But how? How that happened? How is that he never knew? How is that no one ever asked?

Wilson... how could this happen?

-----------

You have been so near all this time, you see?
The cemente-... this place had been near me even more than you.

And now... now what are we going to do?
and now what?
Now what, Wilson?

If my father goes to our wedding he will beat you until you die, Wilson.
That’s why I don’t want him to know.
‘Cause I care too much about you.

- We should have married anyway Wilson... – House says, leaving the bottle of whiskey aside- we should have married   anyway...

How did we get this far apart?
We used to be so close together
How did we get this far apart?
I thought this love would last forever
I thought it would last forever...

Tittle: 'Watch and Learn: Part 4'     or      'Keep it for yourself'
Author: mireya_11
Pairing: H/W
Rating: None
Summary: Part of the serie 'Watch & Learn'                        When the night comes House decides to take different pills
Disclaimer: *crazy-face*                   They are... M  I  N  E  !         *coughs* Well... uhmm             *runs*
A/N: if someone was waiting for it well... here it is!!! sorry it took me so long but I started another serie and well... a lot of things. Anyway hope you enjoy this *blushes*

Prologue    Part 2    Part 3

House still remembers the night he asked Wilson what were albums for.

He still remembers his face: that surprised look in those cookie-eyes, his mouth slightly open... he looked so gorgeous even when he didn’t mean to...

 

 

The next thing that he remembers is a flash and the biggest smile ever.

 

-         This is what an album is for, you take photos of things you like at special moments... I take a picture of you now cause I know that maybe one day one of us will be gone but the one who stays will be able to remember it by looking at this pictures   - he opened the album -   see? I remember when we took this one, at your 38 birthday, I remember... I do remember

 

 

-         I don’t need pictures, ya know?

 

 

And they stayed in silence for a while cause they both knew that he had just  admited it... he admited that he cared about Wilson and he admited that he remembered every moment that they spent together... he had admited that a lot more.

 

 

So Wilson bent down and kissed him.

It seemed the most natural thing to do, it seemed so obvious then but so brave now...

 

But after all they were drunk as ussual

and House was sad

and Wilson was feeling magnanimus...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But today, when House’s stomach is on fire

tonight when Wilson is anywhere but here

now is when House decides to remember... he remembers everything, picture by picture.

 

And it hurts

it hurts more than his stomach and more than his headache

 

 

So when he pukes he doesn’t know if he does it cause he’s feeling nauseous or cause that’s the way that his stomach cries...

 

But it doesn’t matter cause he is not here to see how much it hurts

he is not here and he doesn’t care

he had left him alone a long time ago...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-         What’s wrong Jimmy?     - a scared Coraline asks to his new boyfriend

-         Nothing, nothing... is just that... forget it

-         What is it? tell me!

-         Well... you’re going to think that I’m insane but I felt like... salt, on my lips

 

So Coraline kisses him

 

-         Nope, it’s just your imagination

 

TBC

Tittle: 'Everything will be alright: Part 3'       or        'Predestinado'
Author: mireya_11
Pairing: H/W
Rating: None
Summary: Part of the series ‘Everything will be alright’.                                   Nothing is how it looks like
Disclaimer: *crazy-face*                   They are... M  I  N  E  !

Part 1    Part 2










      -         I want you to come over tonight

 

-         Tonight? Why?

-         Cause I want a Christmas’ album

-         I’m going to be with Amber, remember?

-         If spending Christmas with you means an extra person... then... I don’t mind

 

House knew that he would be drunk enough to say it.

He also knew that Wilson would be flatered, which means that House will have Wilson the entire Christmas’ Eve.

But he also knew that they’ll never show up at Christmas.

After all and no matter what...


Wilson was under Amber’s control

 







 ---

 

 

 

 

-         I wouldn’t have cared if you killed yourself House.

  but why her?

  

       Why you have to ruin the ONLY THING THAT WAS GOING WELL IN MY LIFE!?

       -         I nev...

  -         YOU NEVER WANTED TO HURT HER!? DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO BUY THAT?!...         

 

He starts to laugh, desperate tears blurring his vision

 

      It could have been me...!  It could have been me for God’s sake!

      Why it wasn’t me House? Why you didn’t try to find me...?

 

 

 

 

       WHY IT WASN’T YOU ?!!

 

 

 

 

 

 





        Get out House...

 

-       But Wi... 

His voice is quiet. Full of rage... but quiet

-        I’m trying... not to kill you House. Get out cause I don’t want to see you again. in my entire life, do you understand?... I don’t care if you die, ha! I wouldn’t even care if your leg hurts so badly that you can’t even get on your feet!...

 

 

 

We were never friends House...

we were n e v e r friends.





 

TBC

Tittle: 'Everything will be alright: Part 2'    or    'Nor you nor me'
Author: mireya_11
Pairing: H/W
Rating: None
Summary: Part of the series ‘Everything will be alright’.                          No, I don’t know you (or me) anymore... [ The Professor ~ Damien Rice ]
A/N: The title is a song: Everything will be alright by The Killers from their album Sawdust. Yes, The Killers are my favorite band.
Disclaimer: *crazy-face*                   They are... M  I  N  E  !                            *cough* Well... uhmm       *runs*

Part 1

 

Daddy, daddy, look at me! look at me!

 

I’m an angel

An angel daddy!

 

 

An angel!

 

 

 

-         Amber? where are you darling?

-         I’m here daddy! I’m here!

-         James, can you see her?

-         No I can’t! Amber... Amber where are you?!

-         Daddy here!... near the man with the cane!

 

 

Wilson’s heart stops beating.

 

No please, not again

 

-         Amber, come here inmediatly! 

-         Can you help me to find my mom? I can’t see them

 

 So the man smiles... she looks so much like the original Amber... he takes her by her arms and put her on his neck.

  

-         Can you see them?

-         Yes, I can! Mommy, mommy! Here! Look at me!

-         Oh, Christ! Amber! James, I found her!... I’m so sorry sir, we’ve been looking for her for ages!

-         It’s OK...

  

But nothing is “OK”. He’s been walking for hours by now and his leg is on fire, and according to the look of the woman (who looks a lot like Amber too but with brown eyes) she notices that.

 

-         Is there anything we can do for you?

-         Oh no, it’s...

 

 

 

 

 

He can’t finish the sentence.

He forgets how to breath.

 

 

 

 

He found him for God’s sake.

He found him...

 

 

 

 

 



-         J-James...?

 

 

 

TBC

 

Tittle: Everything will be alright
Author: mireya_11
Pairing: H/W
Rating: None
Summary: First chapter of the series 'Everything will be alright'.                 This starts when Amber dies and continues until they found each other again.

Disclaimer: *crazy-face*                   They are... M  I  N  E  !         *coughs* Well... uhmm             *runs*

He can’t help it.

 

He still loves that man.

He still dreams about him and wakes up sweating at night... embarrased of himself cause he can’t forget him.

 

 

 

 

He simply can’t.

 

 

 

 

 --

 

He never knew why he kept doing this.

Once he asked to a very pissed off Thirteen

 

-         Why I keep doing this? – and her answer was simple

-         Cause you like to sleep in your own misery.

 

It’s true.

He knew it was true then. And he knows it’s true now.

 

But he liked to sleep when his bed was a soft body.

He liked to sleep in that bed.

He liked that bed.

 

 

He still likes that bed... he miss it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He miss him.

 

 

And he tried so hard for the first six months to find him... he tried so hard.

But a year passed and nothing.

 

He took a vacation the second year. He went to their city. He walked for hours ( yes, walked ). He went to their bar, to their hotel-room.

 

 

But nothing.

 

 

 

So this became a routine. Every year, at the same time he entered to the same places with the same clothes. And the same wish of course.

 

To find him.

 

 

 

 

 

It was so damn hard to be alone

 

again.







TBC

This is for lovely hilsonlover 
Hope you like this :3






'Why to Bother?' ~ Ricardo Arjona

The bed is missing the movement
your clothes are missing the air that you took away from them
and like an army claiming for the future
your shoes want to go out the closet

The house wants to clone you
and the picture on the wall is bored
and even your enemy, the kitchen
is missing those dishes that you didn't make
and don't even talk about the clock
who's lazy, making every second a problem

And why to talk about me if you alread know that
Why the cheesy story?
Why to tell you that I'm worst than anything else?
Why to tell you that now that you're not here
the house does down on my head and the door opens itself,
just in case that you want to come back?

The couch still has the mark of your body
and the floor is not the same without your steps
and the sun doesn't want to come to my window
knowing that you're not here to see him
and don't even talk abour your smell that's still here
nor the mirror that tries to see you

And why to talk about me if you alread know that
Why the cheesy story?
Why to tell you that I'm worst than anything else?
Why to tell you that now that you're not here
the house does down on my head and the door opens itself,
just in case that you want to come back?





"Pa' Qué?" ~ Ricardo Arjona

La cama está que extraña el movimiento
Tu ropa extraña el aire que le quitas
Y como un batallón en huelga de futuros
Se asoman tus zapatos por el closet

La casa está con ganas de clonarte
Y el cuadro en la pared esta aburrido
Y es que hasta tu enemiga la cocina
Extraña aquellos guisos que no hacías

Y no se hable del reloj que haraganea
Haciendo de un instante una odisea
Y pa qué te hablo de mi si está de más
Pa qué la verborragia cursi y necia
Pa qué decirte que el peor es quien te habla
Pa qué decirte que hoy que ya no estás

La casa se derrumba en mi cabeza
Y la puerta se abre sola por si vuelves
El sillón aún guarda huellas de tus curvas
Y el piso no es el mismo sin tus pasos
Y el sol ya ni se asoma en la ventana

Sabiendo que no estás para observarlo
Y no se hable de tu olor que flota inerte
O del espejo que se inclina para verte
Y pa qué te hablo de mi si esta de más

Pa qué la verborragia cursi y necia
Pa qué decirte que el peor es quien te habla
Pa qué decirte que hoy que ya no estás
La casa se derrumba en mi cabeza
Y la puerta se abre sola por si vuelves






PS: The original song is on Spanish ^^U

Tittle: 'Watch and Learn: Part 3'     or      'Today is a good day'
Author: mireya_11
Pairing: H/W
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Part of the serie 'Watch & Learn'               Just a little reflexion before House goes to work.
Disclaimer: *crazy-face*                   They are... M  I  N  E  !         *coughs* Well... uhmm             *runs*

Prologue    Part 2

When he wakes up next day he feels just fine.

 

It’s a sunny day

and his leg is not screamming

his head is not on fire

and his bed is more welcoming that never

 

Oh, everything is so surreal

maybe I’m already death

 

But he’s sweating

and death people don’t sweat.

 

 

Right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He goes to the living room and directly to the piano, his piano.

It’s just 7 am and he is already starving.

 

Some cookies must do

 

Oh yes, he loves cookies

as he loves sunny days without pain in his leg

and puppies with big brown eyes

 

 

 

 

No, no, no

 

Nothing about him

Not now

 It’s just too late to do anything about it

 You know it’s not

 Oh yes it is

 No it’s not

 Who are you? my mother?

 

 

 

 

 

And the voice stops

 

Fine, better.

 

 

 

But even those cookies had something of him.

After all he bought them

and he ate them

and those cookies are as brown as those eyes

 

Ok yes

maybe it’s not too late

 

 

 

 

But he won’t talk to me if I don’t do this

 

 
You think he’s that bad?

 

I know that he is worst than that

He left me

when I helpt him

I almost die trying to...

 

 

Why am I talking to you after all?

 

Silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But yes, he likes cookies.

As much as he likes Wilson.












TBC