"If I were his wife, I'd get up every day and punch him square in the jaw. And if his eye did start wandering, it'd be because I kept punching it!"
--Claire, on why Lloyd Cole's wife is probably a saint.
"My dick is made of pure energy."
--Allen
Don Henley, singing "All She Wants to Do Is Dance": The government bugged the mens' room in the local disco lounge
Claire: Wow, I've never really listed to that line before. It sounds anti-gay. I mean, it sounds as if the government is anti-gay, not Don Henley. I think we can be pretty sure that Don Henley is okay with the gays. You, on the other hand...
Jason: Whatever. I like Wes...Mike....Josh....you.
(Someone cuts in front of Jason in the Harris-Teeter parking lot; Claire gives them the finger)
Jason: Quit fingering people!
("D'ya Think I'm Sexy?" is on the radio. Jason and Claire are wondering which "early movie" they watched.)
Claire: Probably Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Jason: Maybe it was Airplane! Or Die Hard.
Claire: That was a little early for Die Hard.
Jason: Hey, maybe they watched Gone With the Wind. So he could keep her there a really long time, like 8 hours.
Claire: I would freak out in that situation, if some dude put on Gone With the Wind. I would be like, "Someone get me out of this Tennessee Williams nightmare before it collapses on itself!"
On "Rock Your Body":
Jason: I like this song because it's like, "I don't mean anything by it. I just want to be having sex with you in 2 1/2 minutes."
On a David Bowie song, while "Wild World" plays on the radio:
Claire: It used to come on the radio all of the time. I would know it if I heard it, but I can't make the tune come out of my head.
Jason: It's hard to think of a tune when you're hearing Cat Stevens
Jason, seeing a billboard: Hey, Tom Petty endorses UNC Pembroke!
Claire: That's Richard Petty.
Jason: Whatever.
Jason to Claire:
"Tori liking drag racing and sports is like Jesus liking prostitutes to Christians - it's a nice story, but we still hate you."
"I've always been stronger than you. I'm bigger than you. And I may have more testosterone."
