It's my life

I haven't written in here for over a year. Let me just tell you, that life has hit the point of absolute suck for me. My relationship with Giacci came to an abrupt end in August. She left me for her ex from 2 years ago. Since then life has been a tragic roller coaster filled with mostly downs. Since her leaving me, I didn't have a place to live so for a couple months, I was homeless, living in my car. A friend of mine said I could stay at his house though. We remain on good terms and see eachother often. There is still that connection and bond between us. She always came to me with her problems with him.

Then everything started getting a little better. She pretty much left him. I came to get her from his house almost an hour away from me.

I need to backtrack a little bit. In the time of being single, I started talking to this one girl whom I really liked. But not even an hour after I saw Giacci and this douchebag together, I accidently said something stupid to her and she said "This is why we can never be together" and now she won't talk to me

Then comes the point where I break down because GOD FUCKING HATES ME! Two nights ago, we were at her uncles house with her "friend". As I was leaving she promised me we would get back together. I asked if I could kiss her. She seemed hesitant and said tomorrow I could. Well tomorrow came, and she was all over this kid. Flirting with him right in front of me, cuddling with him, holding his hand and all that shit. I've been hysterically crying since then. I haven't eaten in 2 days. I tried asking her how she could do this to me after promising me. She told me I have things to straighten out first, like getting my own place...yet in the meantime, this kid is on the verge of getting kicked out of his house, doesn't have a license, doesn't have a job, and is into drugs. While I have a place to live, have my license and my own car, have a job, and don't do drugs...not to mention I'm the father of her child. I swear, God is up there saying "Hey let's slowly give this guy almost everything he wants and right when things are really looking up, we'll take it all away from him".

I'm seeing her today because she "promised" me it would just be me, her, and Giovanni (let's see if she keeps that promise). I'm gonna try to figure out whats going on. If I end up crying, I end up crying. I don't care. I have nothing left to do besides that.

I swear my heart should have come with instructions because apparently its a fucking game to everyone...

WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!!!!

His name is Giovanni Michael!

Here's some pics from the ultrasound!

First and foremost, I want to congratulate the New York Giants for starting out 2-0 this season, and I want to thank Aaron Rodgers and Brandon Marshall for getting me some HUGE points this week in my fantasy league.

Anyway, now onto the entry.

I had the absolute best weekend. My friend/roommate, Mike, went down to Texas this weekend to meet his biological family (he was adopted) so I had the house to myself. Minus the time I spent at work, I was with my girlfriend, Giaci (Jackie - I spelled her name wrong at first because I didn't know the spelling). She spent the whole weekend with me. She stayed at my house Friday night and Saturday night. Let me just tell you the most adorable thing in the history of adorable things happened. Friday night we fell asleep holding hands and woke up the same way. Now tell me that isn't f'n cute. Then Saturday night was more of the same with Giacci spending the night. It's going to suck falling asleep alone tonight after 2 straight nights of being able to cuddle with her. Today after work, me and Giacci hung out at my house for a bit then went back to hers. It was the whole meeting of the parents today. Not gonna lie, that's always a scary thing for me. I think her mom may like me. Her step-dad on the other hand, well, let's just say that when I was leaving he kind of stared me down...awkward!

It's funny how things happen. When everything went down with me and Lauren, I didn't think that I could find anyone that loved me the way she did. I didn't think that I could be as happy as I was when I was with Lauren. Boy, was I mistaken. Giacci more than exceeds the way Lauren was with me. We almost instantly fell for eachother, and hard at that. Whenever I'm with her, I can't help but stare into her eyes and smile. Whenever I'm not with her, all I can think about is being with her. I honestly wasn't even this happy when I was with Lauren. It's like I told her; this is just perfect. It almost feels too good to be true, but it is true.

Now let me tell you this. She's pregnant. Not from me though. I knew the whole time, but it doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it's actually exciting. The real father up and left her when it happened. She said that she trusts me with not only her life, but with her child's too. She said that she needs someone that would love her no matter what and be there for her and the baby and she knows that I will be. So basically, I'm going to be the father of her, or should I say our, child. It's a very scary thought but I know I can do it. I'm even going with her on Tuesday to her ultrasound to find out what sex the baby is. I think I'm pretty much as excited as she is. I can't wait because I know I'll be a better father than mine ever was towards me. Unlike my dad, I'm gonna be there for him/her. I want him/her to be able to come to me with any problem or concern, as opposed to me almost being scared to talk to my dad (everytime we talk he ends up yelling at me for something, and he tried to be physical with me at one point). I'm basically going to be everything that my dad isn't...a good father.

Now, as I promised before, it's picture time. Get ready for cuteness overload...

No real update for today. What you get, instead, is a video. A video of the infamous milk chug that I mentioned a couple of days ago. God, this was a terrible idea haha.



And just because I'm in a great mood and I'm a caring generous guy, you also get the New Horizon (well half of the band) version of...well...watch and find out.



Hope you enjoy these. And remember...ROCK OUT!

Ah today, where do I begin. I know, I'll start from when I woke up...at 11:30. Ben stayed over so I made breakfast (pork roll, egg and cheese sandwiches) and then immediately after that I made lunch (macaroni & cheese with hot dogs). From there, I went to work for a few hours. Wasn't bad there today. Not too busy which is always a good thing. I left early because I stayed 2 extra hours on Sunday because apparently my 6's and 8's look alike. What can I say, I'm kind of dumb haha. When I got home from work, it was me, Mike, James, Laura, Amanda and Jackie chillin. Let me tell you, it was absolutely phenomenal. Me and Jackie connected so well. At one point we were all outside and we pranked this one girl who pisses us all off. It was hilarious. When we were out there, I ended up kissing Jackie, and it was amazing. Then we all came back inside and chilled on the couch. Me and Jackie were basically cuddling on the couch the whole time...it was adorable. We were holding hands and she was leaning on me and all that other cute stuff. On the drive to dropping the girls off it was more of the same with us. On the way to dropping Laura off, I asked Jackie out and she said yes! That's right, I'm back off the market now and I'm absolutely ecstatic. Oh man, this is awesome!

Then the extreme hilarity ensued on the way back home. Me and Mike have the tendencies to do funny and stupid shit just for laughs. Basically, we're bringing Jackass back. We basically discovered why it's not a good idea to sit in the trunk of a Jeep Cherokee. Basically I was in there and Mike decided to slam on the brakes. Needless to say, he did that and I was all of a sudden in the front seat laying on the armrest. We actually had to pull over because me, Mike, James and Amanda were practically in tears from laughing so hard. Sad this is we plan on doing it again just so we can record it and share it with the world.

Anyway, I'm going back to watching TV now and maybe finding something to eat. Later all. SHAKE & BAKE!

Last night was pretty awesome. We had a little get together with the band, which was more like a bit of a jam session. But we ended up figuring out that we could play No More Sorrow by Linkin Park. Only thing is I'm going to have to train my vocals like an MFer for that (I'm the occasional guitarist/screamer of the band). Anyway, after that, the 6 of us went to Hooters for the UFC fight. All in all it was a good fight, good food and okay Mojitos. Me and Mike ended up getting back around 3:45 in the morning.

Now today. Oh today. I was checking my normal sites like I do every day (LJ, MySpace, Yahoo, Fox Sports, Facebook) to see what's new. I check my e-mail and see someone wants to do a ridiculous trade in our fantasy football league. Then I get to Facebook...I see that Shaylynne put up a couple new pictures. One of which was her hooking up with some dude at the beach. I mean, granted she told me before that she's just having fun still and she told me about this guy, but it's just, I really don't need to see someone that I like kissing someone else. It sucks.

I'm actually going to rewind a few days to cover some awesome things that we all did.

Thursday - Work was nothing special, but after I got home, it was a different story. Me, Mike and James decided to do the milk chugging contest. If you don't know what that is, it's basically you try to see who can drink a gallon of milk first. It doesn't work and there never is a winner, but it's alot of fun. We have it on video so I'll actually be posting it on YouTube. That night, Ben slept over and me, him and Mike ended up watching movies all night. Oh and the best part of the night...the Giants beat the Redskins.

Friday - In the morning-ish, me and Ben made a huge batch of fried Oreos for breakfast. Delicious. Then was the 6 hours of work which I need not to get into detail about. After that, me, Mike, Ben, Matt, Daisha, James, Amanda and Mike's mom all went out to dinner for Mike's birthday. That was alot of fun. We all laughed and joked around and all that. When we got back to the house, I broke out my guitar and me, Matt, Mike and Ben basically had a jam session and decided we were going to bring back their old band. So all night we were having a good old fashioned sing-a-long to about 35 different songs. From there I've learned that I can scream a little bit which is awesome. I almost aced Inside the Fire by Disturbed which almost scared the others haha

Today - A little while ago I sent Shaylynne something on FaceBook because her phone is broken. A bunch of us are going down to Hooters to watch the UFC fight and eat wings. Definitely going to be a good time like it was last time we did that

Well, I'm back from my date. I think it went really well. We didn't do exactly what we had planned on doing but it was great either way. Let's rewind the tape to cover all the details. Shay met me at my store and from there we walked around the mall for a little bit and talked. We ended up going to the pizza place in the mall. Neither of us were really hungry, so I just got a plain slice and she got a soda. She was going to pay for herself but I told her that I got it. So after we ate we sat in the pizza place and talked for a while. After that we continued to walk around the mall for a couple hours. It turns out we're almost one in the same. We like the same music, we have basically the same relationship with our fathers and we both know that our step-mothers hate us. So then we go out to her car and we talked out there for a couple more hours. She said that her friend Christine wants to double date with me and Shay. Then around 8:15, she had to go because she has homework that she needs to do. So we hugged and then we kissed goodbye. All in all a great night. I'm hoping I get to see her again soon so we can talk more and continue the whole getting to know eachother phase.

Other than that, football season starts tomorrow! I can't wait! I have the potential to make alot of money this season. $40 on my fantasy league, $10 between who wins in the game between me and a friend, another $10 on which one of us has the best record at the end of the season, and then we have a $5 weekly pool at work. Hopefully I'll make some good cash haha.

I think that's about it for tonight.

Hello all of you in Live Journal land. Not a real update, but if you have an extra 20 minutes to kill and want to see me doing what I'm most passionate about in life, then check out this video. It's a backyard wreslting match that I was in about 4 or 5 months ago.

Yeah so I'm pretty much really drunk right now. About 10 beers, a peach martini and 2 LITs. I needed this. lol

My fantasy football draft was today and I think I have a good team. I'll post that up tomorrow when I can actually see straight

Talked to Lauren a bit earlier. Just e-mailed her to see how shes doing. Fuck it, I'm done caring. I got bigger fish to fry.

I think I'm gonna pass out. Night all. ROCK ON!