mickeym

"It's not fair!" That is Donnie's whine over nearly everything.

We don't want their two unfixed males out with our unfixed females (two of them), at least not unsupervised. But "it's not fair! They shouldn't have to be confined to one room all day". That isn't my problem.

Tonight Matthew told me he wants to get up at 8:30a tomorrow (well, later today), because he has a lot of phone calls to do. I set the alarm, then said, "make sure you answer the phone when I call", and he made some comment about how he would, it wouldn't be like when he hits ignore if I call in the night. And I said, "what if I need you during the night?" (Help getting up, or if I fall, or _______________.) And then Donnie butted in.

According to her, i call Matthew all night long, getting him up constantly, and that's not fair to him. I need to get myself up, do for myself, and I just don't want to, because I can do it but don't want to do the extra work. She says I call him to help me up, or get me settled, or get me a snack.

I do ask him to get me things during the day. I freely admit that it is easier, faster. But at night? No. I can get myself up, and I do. I can get myself resettled, and I do. She started this, incidentally, at 11p. When I said I didn't want to "hash it out" now, I got told I was being childish (and then she said, a few minutes later, that she spoke to me respectfully, blah blah). I said we could talk about it tomorrow, and she said she knew that wouldn't happen. That I deflect and push away, and don't ever address things. To an extent, that's true. I don't like to deal with conflict.

But I've had a sinus headache for days, I'd already taken my bedtime meds, and it was ELEVEN FUCKING P.M. I was willing to talk tomorrow, but she had to keep pushing and pushing, needling at me. She huffed out of the room a few minutes later, and then sent me a text that basically asked me to let her know if I was going to stop talking to her, and concern because I let things go, and she was sorry for making my headache worse.

I got snapped at earlier for daring to suggest that one of my cats now sleeps up on top of the cupboards, by the corner, with her back against the wall -- so she isn't snuck up on by the two horny, intact males. Because what we absolutely need are more kittens. Jesus. Anyway, she said, "your cats do things that irritate me, but you don't hear me talking about it all the time."

So very tempting to tell her that she can leave any time, and don't let the door hit her on the ass on her way out.

Now I'm wide awake, though tired, with no idea of when I'm going to finally get to sleep. My legs feel twitchy, and I have sharp pains in my toes. I love neuropathy. So much.

Yeah, this is whining. I'm so tired of coddling her. Of biting my tongue, trying not to bring up anything that's going to get her offering to help. To settle things. Because she's not on anyone's side, she's on everyone's side. And "it isn't fair".

*headdesk*

x-posted to Livejournal and Dreamwidth; read/comment where you choose.

Megan is apparently not speaking to me. I don't know if it's for a limited time, or for the rest of time, or what. No idea. To know these things, she'd have to be asking me.

According to Donnie, who said to me, "don't tell her I said anything, because she'd be SO MAD", Megan has issues with me going back years. Also, apparently, she now feels that Matthew and I took advantage of her. I feel like that's coaching from Donnie, because until about six months ago, Megan had never said, ever, that she felt like we were taking advantage. Not to me, not to Matthew, nothing.

And now she's not speaking to me at all. The girl -- woman -- who used to say "I love you" every day when she left for work. Who would joke and laugh with me, and we'd wish each other a good night at bedtime. Now she can't get out of the room fast enough. In fact tonight, Matthew told me, Donnie called her (from the kitchen to their room), and he heard her say, "Kim's in the bathroom". And she popped out briefly, then back.

And while I know I should initiate the conversation, I don't want to. I'm a punching bag for them when they get angry at me, and I'm not willing to do that anymore. Enough's enough. We expect them to leave by the end of June (and when June gets a bit closer, we're going to tell them this. At least that's the plan.).

I'm going to miss them, sometimes. Megan lived with us for a decade, which is no small amount of time. My relationship with both of them (Donnie in particular, but both of them) is very complicated and complex. I'd love to have a relationship with them after they move out, but I'm not sure that's going to be possible.

And in the meantime, Donnie's talking about the trailer they're moving in to -- both of them, still in the same bedroom, even though they're broken up -- and how two of her male friends, upon hearing they'd broken up, said they would move in, help her with rent and so on. So Donnie talks about how they'll have four contracts on the lease, with each of them paying a quarter of the expenses. And she says that unironically. Like it's perfectly okay to plan that, while still not realizing that that's what WE tried to do with them.

End of June. I'm holding on to that, so very tightly.

x-posted at Livejournal and Dreamwidth; read/comment where you prefer

Matthew made a GoFundMe for us. If you're interested, it's here: https://gofund.me/27478dd15
If you can't donate, please consider sharing the link. Thanks :)

x-posted to Livejournal and Dreamwidth; read/comment where you choose

Some of you got this as an email, but things are happening now that are making it even more urgent.

Our rent payment for May bounced. I need $1,146 as soon as possible. We got our "seven day letter" on the 10th. Well, I got an email copy of it. The actual letter hasn't arrived yet, go figure. I spent a good chunk of my day yesterday at the Helping Hand of Hope, applying for emergency rental assistance. They can't grant me anything until they've spoken with my property management company. The woman Matthew and I met with made the call to LREI while we were in her office. She asked on the message for them to call her back by 3:30. That she can't do anything for me, until she talks to them. She said she would call us to let us know how much they could give us, but she didn't call. I have no idea if we'll still get any help from them, because of it taking so long.

Now for the why. I don't know for sure, won't know until Matthew starts therapy and gets officially diagnosed. But I'm pretty sure he has a sex addiction. Porn, sex, all of it. It's been hovering there, in the background, for a while, slowly escalating. Well, he hit a new low. High. Something. And he ran through a pretty impressive amount of money in the first week of this month. I don't know how much, exactly, but for sure over $700. Which is a staggering amount of money, truly.

Matthew will start therapy within a week. We started the paperwork tonight (Tuesday night), and then I hit a snag with the signing box (naturally), so now we have to wait until morning to call them to figure it out. If you want to check it out, it's www.astrabh.com. I'm going to start therapy with them as well. I need to sit in on some of Matthew's sessions, probably, but I need it for my own stuff. I could stay with Rhonda, but she only sees patients twice a week. Plus, Rhonda is safe and comfortable. If I'm ever going to be able to tell my son NO, or learn how to set boundaries, and other healthy behaviors, I need someone who isn't safe or comfortable.

Anyway. What I owe breaks down to this:

Rent: $1,010
Bounce Fee: $35
Late Fee: $101

If there's any chance anyone can help me out, I would be beyond grateful. I applied for a loan, but I don't know that I'll get approved (I was turned down for a "pre-approved" thing, and am waiting on a phone call from a loan specialist). I don't know if my Mom or sister can help us this time. (And the update on that is no, they won't.) I'm going to try the Salvation Army, as well, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope here. If you can't, I understand that. Keep us in your thoughts, or send positive energy. It's all appreciated.

If you can help, send it to my Paypal (paypal.me/kimandmattg6794). I've taken the card away from Matthew -- all of the cards -- so you don't need to worry about that.

I know I've asked for help a lot. I'm really hoping that we can get on our feet and I won't need to ask for anything from anyone, and in fact could maybe help others, at some point. But right now, I pretty desperately need help. Not just for the rent, though that's the critical issue, but for June as well. Because, in trying to to cover other things, I've overdrawn my checking account by $1300. That's all of the money I get for the month. Once we pay rent for June, I'll have $217 to get me through the month.

Please help, if you can. Feel free to share this post, or link to it. Anything you think might help.

Thank you,

Kim

x-posted to Livejournal and Dreamwidth; read/comment where you prefer.

So Donnie had this huge breakdown a couple nights ago. Megan was "too high" -- whatever that means -- and had passed out cold. Without doing anything Donnie wanted her to do. And while Donnie cut up chicken to freeze, she sat at the kitchen table and had the most dramatic breakdown, crying and choking on her sobs and blah blah blah.

Megan was "supposed to talk to us, and was going to be So Mad that Donnie did it", and Matthew and I were both concerned, but we also knew what she was going to say. Some things just become obvious, y'know? The $1800 they needed to get into this mobile home they're 'renting to own'? Gone. They have $300 of it left. The vacation they just were on, courtesy of Donnie's Aunt, Super!Suzy? Not courtesy of her. They owe her $400. They paid her $100 today. And they won't have a week's worth of checks, because they were gone M-Fri, or maybe Saturday? I don't know. We had five good days, I thought they weren't going to be back until Sunday, but anyway. They're back, they're a week short on funds, and they only have $200, now. So no, not moving out. NOT FUCKING LEAVING. Because Matthew and I both said no, of course we're not going to put you out on the street. You can stay here until you save up the money, or get your student loan disbursements, whatever. Please stay longer and not pay us anything to live here.

Tonight Matthew came in from having a fire pit thing -- they roasted stuff over the fire and probably got high, and had a good giggle. And then he came inside and told me that things had to change or *I* was going lose Megan and probably Donnie. I said excuse me? And was treated to Matthew telling me that Donnie and Megan both told him that I have to "stop playing them against each other, and stop playing Matthew against them", or it's going to ruin our relationship(s). There were no specifics given. No details. Nothing to go on to support this. Just I'm playing them against each other and it needs to stop or that'll be it for our relationship(s).

Since I have NOTHING, literally, to go on -- though the timing between Donnie's fucking breakdown Sunday, Saturday, whenever, and Megan being out here today nattering on about how there's evidence Jeffery Epstein is alive and living in Florida, and Trump had Pope Leo assassinated, but I won't find anything in any of the prominent news sources because it's being "kept silent" (WHAT? Seriously.), and at some point I brought up the them-moving-paychecks-they-can-save-to-do-that, and I don't know what else -- I have to assume it's whatever I said that they then ran to the other and said, "oh, she said ______________!"

So I told Matthew well, that's fine. I'll say goodmorning or hello, or whatever... but anything beyond that, I'm not saying anything unless they're both in the mother-fucking room at the same time, and Matthew better be there too, so I have someone ELSE listening. And I'm playing HIM against THEM. I don't have a clue about that one.

I'm so angry that I feel like crying, and my chest is tight and hurts, and I want to throw things and give them something to really talk about, but I'm not going to. I'm going to mentally tell them they can go fuck themselves and get the fuck out of my house. I'm at the point where I don't care if I never see either of them again. Not even Megan, and that hurts so bad inside me. She's been my little girl, my daughter, the child I didn't know I wanted until she got here. And it hurts so badly that she would say that. That everything I've done for her would be paid this way. I never wanted payment, I didn't do anything to be paid back. I just loved her because. She's been a part of our lives for nearly 11 years.

I don't understand, and I'm so mad, and so sad, and nothing's ever going to be the same, because I don't know if I can do another three to five months of this. They were supposed to move out last month, and then Donnie had a meltdown over trying to adjust to a new job, AND prepare for vacation, AND move, AND get unpacked and and and. So we told them May was fine, it would save her a half month of rent, and they could focus on moving after vacation, not before, and we could feed their cats who already know us. Matthew asked them to pay him $10 for it, and they said sure, and made sure there was enough food and litter on hand for them. (Not that it matters, they spend half the day out here, eating our food, etc.) And then it wasn't "right after vacation, probably the middle of the month". And then it was "probably the end of the month".

And now we're at "probably September".

I am the biggest fucking idiot in existence.

X-posted to Livejournal and Dreamwidth. Read/comment where you prefer.

It hurts to feel this angry and this bitter, so much of the time.

Two days ago, or maybe three or four, I don't know for sure. They all run together, after a while. Anyway. I was having trouble pushing away the trunk I use as a makeshift stool (my chair is a recliner, but the recliner broke and Madisyn killed my warranty by taking a hammer to it). Sometimes when it's humid and the windows are open, it becomes harder to push the truck away from me.

So I asked Matthew if he could help me with the stool. Pull it out so I could stand up and do whatever it was I was going to do. Well, he said, "you can do it yourself. You just have to try harder." I was already in a pissy mood, and I snapped. I don't remember what I said, but it conveyed my pissy mood. Something to the effect of how could he just sit there and watch me struggle and NOT offer help. I have to pull my leg all the way up to my body in order to get enough leverage to push it away from me -- and if it's humid, it's extremely difficult.

And Donnie, in my kitchen making a mess, as always, turns toward me and Matthew and says, "He didn't answer you {however whatever}, and Matthew, you're her son, not her caretaker. You don't have to do anything for her.

My very first internal reaction to that was WTELF??!

I then told her as nicely as I could manage that I wasn't interested in her opinion, and she could keep it to herself. I told Matthew much the same. I finally was able to get up, and went into the bathroom (my "room") and stayed there for a little while, just shaking with anger.

Later, when talking with Matthew about it (without Donnie, tyvm), I asked him what, exactly, he thought I was asking for him to do, to "be my caregiver". I said, you don't wipe my ass for me; you don't do any of my hygiene care; you don't bathe me or feed me or do my meds. Occasionally, I need help getting the stool out to get up, and I do ask him to push the stool in for me, because I can't always get it pulled all the way in. He puts my laundry into the washer, and then into the dryer. I fold it, and put it away. I cook for us. I wash our dishes -- he usually dries and puts away. What, exactly, is he giving me that falls into any category other than "one human helping another one out". Donnie, I should mention, will run Megan ragged fetching this or that or the other, especially while cooking. Megan puts Donnie's shoes and socks on her. Fetches clothing. Or Donnie's purse. She gets water with ice, constantly. I mean, if we're going tit-for-tat, maybe Donnie should look at her own domestic relationship -- and keep her nose out of mine.

They're out of town right now. On vacation (though they can't afford to pay any of the bills here). They're down in Gatlinburg TN, and Super!Suzy has paid for them to be there. They're not going to have any income for the week they're gone, and they've run through a good chunk of what got set aside for moving. Matthew and I have decided that we're going to tell them they have until May 1st to move, or they'll have to start paying something. And it's nothing to do with whether or not we have the money to pay all the bills. We almost do. As long as nothing happens. But it has to do with, god, living in someone's house for 16 months, and having paid about $1000. Total. In 16 months. That's roughly $62.50/mo.

Augh. I'm sorry. That was major word!vomit, and I just came over here to vent a little bit about one thing.

I think I'm going to watch some ER, and then go to bed.

X-posted to Livejournal and Dreamwidth. Read/comment where you choose.

I missed my LJ-versary. I think I'm 24 over here, now. 2002 to now... yeah. That's a lot of years to be somewhere. My real, live kid isn't much older.

It's changed so much over here. Well, everywhere. But I really miss LJ as it was in the early 2000's. I miss fandom as it was in the early 2000's. All the drama, all the fun, all the OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE __________?!

I wish, sometimes, that I could dial my life back to 2003, 2004. Still married, finances more-or-less under control, things so much smoother than they are now. My kid, still a kid. Most of my friends online, but I talked with most of them nearly every single day. If not online, then some on the phone. Or instant messaging.

I miss writing. I haven't written anything, I don't think, since around 2012. I'm not sure where the words went, but I wish they'd come back. Maybe they will, someday.

There are so many people I miss from LJ. Some have migrated to Dreamwidth. Some to other platforms I either don't know about, or don't know much about. I never could really figure out Tumblr, and Snapchat and Instagram seem less fannish. Some people I see on Facebook, and there are fannish groups/communities there. But it feels so different to what LJ was in its heyday.

I'm gonna stop talking now, because I'm making myself sad, and I don't need any help in that arena.
Love to everyone. :)

x-posted to LJ and Dreamwidth. Read/comment where you prefer.

Hey, y'all. I'm posting this to the platforms I use: Facebook, LiveJournal, and Dreamwidth, so my apologies if you see it more than once.

Matthew and I need some help getting caught up before it gets completely out of control. We need about $600 to get my checking account out of the negative, and to cover new meds for Matthew, from his new doctor.

I have Paypal: paypal.me/kimandmattg6794. If CashApp works better, Matthew has one; just let me know by DM or email, and I'll get the handle or whatever they call it.

If anyone can help us out, I would be so grateful. I thought we had it better under control, but then we had a couple unexpected expenses.

Thank you from both me, and Matthew.

X-posted to Dreamwidth and LiveJournal; read/comment wherever you prefer.

Countdown is holding at ~three weeks.

Tonight, Donnie and Megan decided they needed to light the fire pit. But rather than do a couple things up front (like move the chair(s) outside before going crazy with lighter fluid, and close the windows that were open) they waited until the fire was going.

My whole house smells like lighter fluid and wood smoke. I have a monster headache, and breathing while sitting back in my chair is proving a little trickier than I'd thought it would be. I'm sitting up now, and I've used my inhaler. But the back of my throat is sore now, and my chest hurts, and is it really that difficult to think of someone else before doing something? There's no one in this apartment who isn't aware that I have asthma, plus allergy season has already started for me.

Matthew is still struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide, and he's not the only one who kind of wants out of this life. We're also still struggling with money -- I thought everything got paid, and it didn't, and now my checking account is overdrawn, and I just would like to catch a break. Not even a big break. Just a little one.

But now I need to go scoop out the litterboxes. Joy.

X-posted to Dreamwidth and Livejournal. Read/comment where you prefer.

We are having fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green beans for dinner. Donnie asked if we wanted to join them, so I contributed a bag of chicken, and some green beans (I think). Then I asked if we have gravy, could they use my bouillon (Herb Ox, shelf stable granulated bouillon) rather than their Better than Bouillon, to make the gravy.

Why? Because it says right on the freakin' label to *refrigerate after opening*. And Donnie doesn't. Just goes about doing her thing (she ate queso from Qdoba last night that had been sitting out for two days). I asked nicely, and I stated why. And I feel like I kind of got mocked for asking/requesting -- because I was informed that there's "no difference between the two, just the one has more moisture in it, that's why it's a paste, and mine just has had the moisture pulled out of it".

Well, yes. Sort of. But the BtB, after I googled it, contains actual meat within the paste, as well as vegetables. And that is what helps generate the growth of bacteria within the BtB. My HerbOx is dehydrated, and has a bit higher salt content, and it doesn't grow bacteria--there's nothing to help it grow.

I think I have a jar of chicken gravy in the fridge, from when I got a rotisserie chicken at the store a week or two ago. i can use that, if Donnie uses her bacteria farm to make gravy from. Of course, that will probably create all sorts of problems itself, but it's better than getting diarrhea (or worse) that can be prevented. One month, possibly less, before they're gone. Can't wait.

X-posted to Dreamwidth and Livejournal. Read/comment where you prefer :)

Matthew's home! He got home yesterday afternoon, and I'm so very, very glad he's home. He has some new meds, and I'm hoping they help him.

I'm also very, very ready to have Donnie and Megan gone. Or, at least, Donnie. I'm so tired of her, and her opinions on everything that is none of her business. And as far as I'm concerned, none of my business is any of her business.

X-posted to Dreamwidth and Livejournal; read/comment where you prefer :)

If I could have your thoughts and prayers for Matthew, please, I would appreciate it. He's been admitted to Psych at our local hospital, on a 72 hour suicide watch. They're getting him back on his meds -- most of which he's been off of for nearly a year -- and hopefully getting a social worker in to see him. Also hopefully getting him into counseling, because i know he needs that.

I am...not great, but dealing. I'm looking forward to being able to talk to him without crying. I did better, this evening. It's a process, I guess. I cleaned the floor in the living room (what I could), and swept the kitchen, and wiped stuff down. Cleaning is good for keeping busy. Tomorrow is homework day.

But yeah. Prayers, positive thoughts, whatever you can spare. Thank you.

X-posted to Dreamwidth and Livejournal. Read/comment where you prefer.

Being tested, I mean. And for that matter, who/what the hell is testing me? And why? I feel like I've run some stupid endurance race, and every time I think I'm looking at the "finish line", someone moves it. Or I'm lifting weights that someone keeps adding to.

Matthew started a (new, obviously) job tonight. He had orientation Friday, and then last night (Saturday) started his shift. That shift is 6:50p-7:00a. He texted me about 4:30 that they were sending him to the ER because he was having trouble breathing and his blood pressure was really high (I was on the phone with him just a minute ago when the ER was retaking it; it was 161/126, which is not good. And then Donnie pipes up with, "That's not so bad, I've had like 202 over 140", and I'm thinking this is not a case of higher is better, oy vey).

ANYWAY. The med people there at the factory couldn't decide if it was an allergic reaction to something, or if he was having a heart attack or stroke, or what, so they put him in an ambulance and shipped him to the hospital. He's had an EKG, an x-ray, blood drawn. When they were doing intake he also told them that he was having suicidal thoughts, so they made him change out of his clothes into clothing that was more compliant and easier to keep him safe in. The ER doc wanted him to see a counselor/therapist there, but Communicare (the ones who work with the hospital) has a policy of doing a urine drug screen before they'll meet with a patient. Matthew has a shy bladder. He asked if they could do a blood test, but no, Communicare's policy is urine drug screen. I find myself wondering how they get around this if the person is too dehydrated (or whatever) to do a urine sample at all. Do they just not treat the individual?

Anyway, we talked for a bit. I told him to try and nap while he waits on the doctor. And I'll keep my fingers crossed there's nothing truly (physically) wrong.

I haven't slept yet; I was trying to stay awake until Matthew got home, but I'm moving past tired now, into the next Zone. I'll keep y'all updated.

X-posted to Dreamwidth and Livejournal. Read/comment where you prefer. :)

This was originally posted to Facebook. I decided I had a better chance of getting a wider variety of responses here.

Facebook, I have a serious question for you, that comes with a little bit of backstory: Last night, while waiting for dinner to do its thing. Donnie, Matthew and I were listening to music on YouTube, each taking a turn to pick a song. And it was good, at first. But, and it's a big one, a lot of what Matthew listens to now very often contains extreme profanity, references to sex acts, drug/alcohol use, regular use of the N word.

I'm not dissing his music, though it kind of feels that way to him, and I did hurt his feelings (I didn't mean to, and I apologized). I had a similar, reverse, thing happen with Doug. And I know that music is intensely personal: even if you like the same music as someone else, chances are it means something different to the two of you.

But so here's my question: After a song in which the N word was used three times within 30 seconds, I stopped the song. Because I just can't. Everything I've heard and taken in through life in general, and particularly in the past couple decades or so, has been YOU DO NOT USE THE N WORD. You don't throw it around in general speech (or you're not supposed to). You're not supposed to accept that word as appropriate for any situation. Don't use it, period.
Except...why is it okay if it's dropped 23048230 times into a "song"? How is that any different from normal, every day speech?

And then Donnie blew my mind by telling me that I'm the first person she's ever heard ask/say that out loud. Surely I can't be the only person who has ever wondered that? Can anyone explain this to me?

And sidebar question(s): for anyone who has adult children, or nearing adulthood children (or family members, etc): what are they listening to? What's in those songs? Do you share musical interests with said young people?

Thanks 🙂

X-posted to Dreamwidth and Livejournal. Read/comment where you prefer.

I've been watching "Emergency!" on Peacock, and decided to poke around on AO3, just to see what's what in fiction for that show. And I came across a very...aggressive...note on someone's story that said, "If you post a review requesting to do art for my stories, I will block you."

Is that a thing that happens frequently? I mean, really? I'm not real active in any fandom right now, so I don't spend a lot of time on AO3 -- or anywhere else -- so I don't know. It just seems really aggressive, if all they're doing is saying they want to do art for a story.

*is confused*

X-posted to Dreamwidth and Livejournal; read/comment where you like :)

Is there anyone who could spot me $50? I need to get Matthew to the Social Security office to change his direct deposit; then he needs to get to a factory where he's supposed to do a pre-hire drug test, and then back home. We're estimating the Ubers at $15 each, with a dollar or two for a tip. His drug screen is at 2:30p, Eastern time.

Paypal is kimandmattg6794

Many thanks in advance <3

xposted to Dreamwidth and LJ, read/comment where you wish

Matthew decided he wanted to watch Star Trek. Our DVD collection extends to Enterprise, and Voyager (for series), and he chose Voyager. I have fond memories of my earliest pairing interest, before I was consumed by slash pairings: Janeway/Paris and Janeway/Chakotay. And on a really good day, Janeway/Chakotay/Paris. :D

If I'm remembering correctly, The Sentinel and Voyager aired on the same night. I can't remember which was first, but I do remember it being a couple hours of pretty good TV.

X-posted to Livejournal and Dreamwidth; read/comment where you choose.

I love being lectured by children.

xposted to Livejournal and Dreamwidth; read/comment where you wish :)

Can someone please explain to me how it is ANY of Donnie's business if I apply for/take out a loan (or do anything at all, for that matter)? Matthew made the mistake of mentioning something he and I are looking into, thinking Donnie was asking about that, and now she's all concerned that we're going to buy out of our lease and thus leave her homeless.

If she was truly worried about being homeless, maybe she shouldn't 1) walk out of a job without having another one lined up; 2) look for full-time employment, rather than the part-time job she finally started (yesterday; she fucking QUIT her job back in, I don't know, October?).

Then she looks at me and says, "Kim, have you ever taken out a loan?"

I know she sees me as this old, washed up woman who doesn't ever have enough money to pay what always seems to need to be paid. But once upon a time, I owned my own home! Or, well, was paying on a mortgage that my name was on. I've had car loans. I've had personal loans. And then apparently, after saying that she felt she was spoken to badly (she was, and I apologized, because I did get snippy, but Jesus), when Matthew went back to drop one of their cats back into their room, she told him that I shouldn't put the loan in his name, because he doesn't have a good track record with paying things.

It is absolutely none of her business. Any of it. Any of my life. Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

She works tomorrow. I'm looking forward to not having her here in the house for four hours.

xposted to Dreamwidth and Livejournal; read/comment wherever works best for you :)

Current Mood: aggravated

The household was doing a casual conversation about names for pets. Donnie said she and Megan had talked about one day -- when their cats are gone -- they might get a pair of ferrets, and name them "Rigatoni" and "Tuk Tuk". I knew the name sounded familiar but couldn't place it, and then she mentioned the Disney movie "The Last Dragon", and yeah. It's the name of one of the characters. But I googled it, and it's also the name for a small taxi (three wheels only), common in Asia, parts of Africa, and South America.

Then Donnie mentioned something about a movie called The Samurai (I think?). I said I hadn't seen it. She said "Oh, it has Tom Cruise in it, such a good movie, blah blah blah". I mentioned I don't watch Tom Cruise movies, and she asked why. I said because I dislike his whole Scientology thing, and I won't give my money to him. And she said "That's so stupid." And when I said maybe, but that's how I feel -- because it really is -- she said something else, and I said something else, and she got up from her chair, huffed out and into her room, and shut the door hard. Not quite a slam, but definitely close to it. All over me saying I don't like Tom Cruise, and why I don't support his movies!

At no point did I say she shouldn't watch Tom Cruise movies. At no point did I say anything about anything else related to that. (I do have one exception to that, and that's the War of the Worlds remake from 2005, but that's because I love anything to do with War of the Worlds more than I dislike Tom Cruise.)

Then she apparently was yelling to Megan about that, and about how Matthew is being selfish and not thinking about the whole household, because he's not sure what he wants to do about Madisyn. She actually said to him today, when he and I were talking about trying to put some money on her Commissary account in December, after we get our checks. And Donnie said, "I thought Matthew was getting a divorce from Madisyn." Well, it's a very complex situation. He probably is getting a divorce, because that way he can separate his household from hers, in order to get back the benefits he lost when they got married.

But it absolutely isn't any of her business what he does, unless it's going to involve Donnie in some way. And Madisyn is in rehab (supposedly started yesterday), and will likely also be looking at some prison time when she's done. She had 15 months of probation left when she missed her meeting, she likely will have to serve that final 15 months behind bars, or possibly the entirety of the original 3 year sentence. Plus the new charge of missing the meeting, and having drugs in her system, but that's pure speculation on our part right now, because she hasn't even had a court date set yet.

And Donnie and Megan? Will not be living here beyond May, because WE probably won't be living here beyond May. But nothing is set in stone yet, and none of it affects Donnie. Because she won't be here. But holy hannah, does she not have any reason to be commenting on what Matthew's doing, unless Matthew specifically asks for her opinion/advice. Which he's about as likely to do as he is to walk outside and let himself get hit by a school bus.

Ugh. Just, ugh. :-/

x-posted to Dreamwidth and Livejournal

Profile

mickeym

June 2026

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30

Syndicate

Page Summary

Style Credit

Style: by timeasmymeasure

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Page generated Jul. 8th, 2026 03:48 am

Recent Entries

If I never hear this again

such a smallBIG thing

GoFundMe

I am asking for help with my rent

I am the biggest fucking idiot in existence

I don't even know

Oh, I'm kinda sad

Asking for some help

her blood's runnin' like a raging river

And I'm the one they say is always trying to start a fight?

Yay! and Boo :(

Matthew

at what point is it enough?

Got a question that's sort of about music

oh, yikes!

Help?

Oh, the memories

ugh

I've gone beyond confused

In today's "Fun with Donnie"