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merryfortuneI said I would write an reflection day of. I did not but there's no time like the present. Especially since earlier today, I finally streamed my digital tour! Definitely check it out via my Twitch link in my sticky if your curious. Don't worry about the vod expiring, its archived on YouTube and will premiere in 2 weeks time/June 11th.
Anyways.
My biggest feeling right now regarding it is... ingratitude and I hate to say it but its true. Is it selfish for me to want someone to stand in front of my art and say, "I love this" instead of "I don't love this but I love you so I'll make an effort" (true of all but three people at my exhibition) or "I don't love this but I know my niece will love it!" (weirdly common!). I just wanted the friends I invited to be there, people I hadn't spoken with in years but whatever.
More importantly, given the non-familial relations who commented on my art and were there at my exhibition, it makes me happy that I'm out here representing all the weird little nieces of the world since I am a weird little niece.
I just wanted more people at my opening. There was so much food but barely any of it got eaten. I was prepared for 15-20 people, I think. I got nine.
I also stressed the poor director out as well since I was running late to the setting up. I had delusions of being there at 9am sharp but Mum and I were still packing the car and doing bits and bobs for it at 9:30am oops. The actual setting up was stress free all things considered but I felt so useless!! I barely had to lift a finger and when I did, I felt like I was in the way.
But it looks beautiful. I walk in and it feels like I'm walking into the IRL version of my art instagram. Only 22 followers there BTW. 1 is my aunt (who couldn't make it to the opening) and the others are either bots or twitter mutuals.
All in all, I'm proud of my efforts. It looks damn good on my resume, I got an interview and it was promptly cut short by the fact that the lady is not looking for out of towners but I do think including my art in my cover letter was a good call regardless.
I just crave...validation, methinks. It'd be nice if people helped by following me on Instagram, liking and retweeting my posts, etc. Buying my art would also be another good one. I'm deep in the hole but 80% of it is literally from last year. I was way under budget this time (whereas I went over budget last time). So, I wouldn't mind crawling a little further out of the hole but its neither here nor there. On some level, despite the validating craving and clout chasing, I am proud of my efforts on their own. It was surreal to look up and see improvements in my art as I compared and contrasted new pieces with old pieces.
I kind of laid out where I wanted things to go. The Director challenged me here and there but I'm glad she did. When left to my designs solely, I do tend to suffer for it, I learned that lesson last year. And in high school (fuck you,. Josh, I'm still salty that our group project sucked!!!). That said, I'm still not suuuper happy with where the Spectre Ita Bag artwork ended but I also don't know where else I would put in the gallery room so. Its neither here nor there.
Yeah, I think that its. I ate lots of daifuku and pocky. I got my nails done and had them painted quite cutieful and avant garde at the same time. I forgot to wax my eyebrows though. Some good things happened (daifuku, feeling proud) and some bad things happened (the AI generated poster debacle, the fact the opening attendance wasn't as high as I would like) but yeah. I am happy if ungrateful. Feel free to ask questions if there's anything I didn't elaborate on. But for now, I feel like between this post and the video, I've said my peace. Or is it piece? I don't actually know.
Anyways.
My biggest feeling right now regarding it is... ingratitude and I hate to say it but its true. Is it selfish for me to want someone to stand in front of my art and say, "I love this" instead of "I don't love this but I love you so I'll make an effort" (true of all but three people at my exhibition) or "I don't love this but I know my niece will love it!" (weirdly common!). I just wanted the friends I invited to be there, people I hadn't spoken with in years but whatever.
More importantly, given the non-familial relations who commented on my art and were there at my exhibition, it makes me happy that I'm out here representing all the weird little nieces of the world since I am a weird little niece.
I just wanted more people at my opening. There was so much food but barely any of it got eaten. I was prepared for 15-20 people, I think. I got nine.
I also stressed the poor director out as well since I was running late to the setting up. I had delusions of being there at 9am sharp but Mum and I were still packing the car and doing bits and bobs for it at 9:30am oops. The actual setting up was stress free all things considered but I felt so useless!! I barely had to lift a finger and when I did, I felt like I was in the way.
But it looks beautiful. I walk in and it feels like I'm walking into the IRL version of my art instagram. Only 22 followers there BTW. 1 is my aunt (who couldn't make it to the opening) and the others are either bots or twitter mutuals.
All in all, I'm proud of my efforts. It looks damn good on my resume, I got an interview and it was promptly cut short by the fact that the lady is not looking for out of towners but I do think including my art in my cover letter was a good call regardless.
I just crave...validation, methinks. It'd be nice if people helped by following me on Instagram, liking and retweeting my posts, etc. Buying my art would also be another good one. I'm deep in the hole but 80% of it is literally from last year. I was way under budget this time (whereas I went over budget last time). So, I wouldn't mind crawling a little further out of the hole but its neither here nor there. On some level, despite the validating craving and clout chasing, I am proud of my efforts on their own. It was surreal to look up and see improvements in my art as I compared and contrasted new pieces with old pieces.
I kind of laid out where I wanted things to go. The Director challenged me here and there but I'm glad she did. When left to my designs solely, I do tend to suffer for it, I learned that lesson last year. And in high school (fuck you,. Josh, I'm still salty that our group project sucked!!!). That said, I'm still not suuuper happy with where the Spectre Ita Bag artwork ended but I also don't know where else I would put in the gallery room so. Its neither here nor there.
Yeah, I think that its. I ate lots of daifuku and pocky. I got my nails done and had them painted quite cutieful and avant garde at the same time. I forgot to wax my eyebrows though. Some good things happened (daifuku, feeling proud) and some bad things happened (the AI generated poster debacle, the fact the opening attendance wasn't as high as I would like) but yeah. I am happy if ungrateful. Feel free to ask questions if there's anything I didn't elaborate on. But for now, I feel like between this post and the video, I've said my peace. Or is it piece? I don't actually know.
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