Memoirs of a Drunken IT Manager...

Easy.... rob a bunch of banks. =D

Okay, so one of our account managers calls in and says he cannot run a specific report in our job software. So I remote into his computer to see what's going on (since I'm the only one here for the next I don't know HOW long.) The first thing I always do is try to do it myself on their computer, so I can see if there are errors, etc.


This is what I see:







Don't see anything strange? How about now:







Still don't see anything? Let's take a closer look:






WTF?!?!?!? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE THAT MUCH CRAP OPEN AND NOT HAVE THE COMPUTER CATCH FIRE?! Let's go through the list of EXACTLY how much he has open, shall we? He has:

10 Internet Explorer Windows (do we not understand tabs are now there for a reason?!?!)
6 Instances of Microsoft Excel open
1 Instance of Visio
4 Explorer folders open
2 Instances of "Microsoft Streets and Trips"
12 (YES 12!) Outlook windows & emails open. (FUCKING 12!!!)
1 Instance of Solitaire (well, no one can accuse him of not being productive elsewhere)
1 Add/Remove programs window (IT'S A WORK COMPUTER! STOP FUCKING WITH IT!)
3 Instances of Adobe Acrobat Reader.

Can we add those up? Sure can. 40!!!!! He has fucking FORTY things open on his taskbar!!!! And these people wonder why their shit never works!?!?!!

Holy crap I need a vacation.


Oh good, I decided to call this guy back before I posted this entry... I tell him that I can in fact open the report that he says he can't (that was the purpose of the call originally... he can't open some stupid sales report) so as I'm telling him that I'm in his computer, looking at his report, he interrupts me to say, "Hey, I'm actually on another call, can I call you back? I'm on the phone with my mother."

SURE! LET ME FUCKING SIT HERE AND WAIT FOR YOU!

The next time he calls and he can't get into something that he DESPERATELY NEEDS, I'm going to tell him that I'm busy and I'll have to call back. "Sorry, I'm on the phone with my cousin."

If you've never seen The Website Is Down, you really should. If you're computer illiterate, ignore that link and my entire post.

k this is a test post from my phone. i figured i would get with the times a bit.

I haz gots a new car. pics will be up later.

Pet peeve of the day: People who intentionally misspell their "gang" names for graffiti purposes. Example: Snoe.

fkn losers.

So yeah, car pics coming later. Mah car iz teh kyoot!

Oh, and hai to everyone since I haven't updated in 17 weeks apparently according to LJ.

rofl @ this...


http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpr…

I already forgot who I stole this from. It came from SOMEWHERE... lol
[Edit]: I stole it from revbri!


Okay, I'm dragging myself kicking and screaming away from LJ for a bit. I'm going to DJ in about 30 minutes, so I really need to get my shit together lol.

Bored? You can listen @ http://subzero.slserver.com:8100/ - it's all industrial/ebm/etc.

I DJ through SecondLife, and my name on there is "Donna Heartsdale" so you will hear me referring to myself as DJ Donna lol. Ignore the stuff about tipping, donating, and playing the "sploder" ;)

Your Goth Name is:

Whisper Corpse

haha!

I would live somewhere in the tri-state area and buy a nice apartment. I would spend my days shopping and playing on teh intarwebz.

I have decided to start blogging here about my "adventures" at work. I am an IT Manager, and my job is to say the least, eventful.

Every day is a new experience, and a test in patience.



I now loathe fax machines. My boss, the CIO, ordered a bunch of fax machines for the sales guys a while back, and slowly they have been distributed, so now there are none left unless we order more. Today one of the guys called in saying his was broken. I explained to his boss that we didn't have any more, and since the guy didn't really speak any english, advised that he would need to bring it in so that I could look at it. I'm fairly good and patient with phone tech support, but not if you can't understand me.

So he brings it in, I run all over the place trying to find a regular line to use to test incoming and outgoing faxes, finally find one, and I discover that it was all a waste of time. What's wrong with the fax machine? NOTHING! He had it set on "phone only." Had I been able to speak spanish better, I could have gotten more than "it doesn't work" and could possibly have had him try stuff over the phone. So I gave it back to him and had one of the spanish-speaking production assistants translate as I showed him how to change the setting if he had the issue in the future.

I was a little late getting out of there tonight, because I was working on something... and as I am about to walk out the door, one of the Production Managers called me into his office. He said he had another fax machine issue. Someone that had just gotten a machine that I had "refurbished" said he couldn't use it because it was missing a wire. So the production manager says "Well now I can't fax anything to him tonight!"

I asked him, "What wire is missing?" He said the wire that plugs into the phone jack from the fax machine. I looked him straight in the face and said in disbelief... "Are you kidding me? It's a regular phone wire! Tell him to GO TO THE DOLLAR STORE AND GET ONE! Or, just unplug his house phone for 5 minutes, and use that wire!!!!"

Idiots, I tell you. Talk about job security.

Most of my day is spent doing things that most people find silly. I have to make shortcuts for things on people's desktops, change homepages, show someone how to use IE, Outlook, or Excel.... simple things. Part of me wants to show them how to do these things themselves, because it will be less work for me, but then part of me knows as long as they are computer stupid, I have job security.

I decided I might start using this thing again.

Any of you alive out there still? :P