Female X Fem!Reader Fandom Oneshots (Requests Closed!)

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
stunudo
what-even-is-thiss

Where do you live right now?/Where’s your current primary residence?

English or French speaking North America

Latin America and/or south and Central America

Western, northern, or Central Europe

Eastern Europe and/or west Asia

East Asia or Southeast Asia

Central or South Asia

Northern Africa

Subsaharan Africa

Australia, New Zealand/ similar region

Pacific islands/Polynesia/Micronesia

Carribean/ any other island region I forgot (sorry)

Other/I move constantly/you forgot my region/bald nuance option/antarctica

See Results

Not where you grew up. Not where you’ll be living soon. Where you’re living right now.

what-even-is-thiss

Plz reblog this one actually I wanna get as big of a sampling of tumblr as possible. Reblog at any and all times of the day so we can reach different time zones.

imlike-so-gaydude
vampireapologist

ppl are so annoying “you can’t paint ur bedroom pink you’re an adult” i did not spend my entire life waiting to grow up and control my life to paint my bedroom beige

hojolove

I had a sales woman in furniture store try and tell me not to buy a hot bubblegum pink loveseat because she wanted me to “think about the future”

Bitch, I am thinking about the future. I already got a hot bubblegum pink couch at home and now I need a loveseat to go with it.

madgastronomer

when I first bought my house, I announced my decision to paint my bedroom purple. I had wanted a purple bedroom for thirty damn years, you fucking bet I was gonna have one now. My friends decided, for some reason, that I meant what one of them referred to as “14 year old girl purple” (through what’s wrong with the colors a 14 year old girl chooses, I don’t know, even if they’re not what I want as an adult). They didn’t believe me until they saw the color on the actual wall, even thought they helped me pick out paints. My mother, meanwhile, decided to get worried that if I painted my bedroom a “dark purple”, it would be “depressing”. As if, with an entire house to live in, I would spend all my time in the bedroom, which I wanted to be dark because I would be sleeping in there. In the damn dark.

I had like one, maybe two friends who were all like FUCK YEAH YOU PAINT IT WHATEVER COLOR YOU WANT, PURPLE BEDROOMS ARE AWESOME.

But when they actualy saw the finished bedroom, every single one of them was like, “Oh yeah, that’s really pretty.” (Well, the ones who supported me from the beginning were more like WOOHOO.)

And the moral of the story is: Fuck ‘em, please yourself. Either they’ll come around, or you can safely ignore every question of taste they opine about for the rest of time.

themintycupcake

This applies to other adulting activities, too. When I was a kid, I decided that I wanted to have a wedding cake made of doughnuts. When I got older, I figured that I would be “mature” about it and get a traditional cake, which the older adults approved of. Now that I’m 25 and facing the possibility of actual marriage in the near future, I’m just like “marriage is a social construct but it comes with tax & insurance benefits, so just give me that goddamn doughnut cake.” If they don’t like it then they don’t have to come to my wedding.

aridotdash

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https://xkcd.com/150/

undanewneon

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I would like you all to view my office. I’m thirty and my rainbow room is awesome, people can fight me

spuffybot

I’m thirty and my first big furniture purchase was a custom coffin shaped coffee table that opens up and is lined with purple crushed velvet. I would have loved it at 13 and I love it now. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to abandon what makes you happy.

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idareu2bme

GROWING UP DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO ABANDON WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

the-haiku-bot

GROWING UP DOESN’T

MEAN YOU HAVE TO ABANDON

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

shadesofmauve

I have told this story before, and I will tell it again, because I am An Old now and repeating stories forever is our prerogative:

When I bought my house, the kitchen was multiple shades of dingy white. It was dismal, but it was now mine! So went to the hardware store for paint (well, several trips, painted swatches on panel, etc — I’m very picky. But this was the final, ‘real’ trip). It was a busy day in the paint section. There were at least five people behind me in line.

Now, remember, latex paint is slightly lighter and brighter when wet than it is when dry. And I’d decided to paint my kitchen candy-apple red. The hardware store employee took my gallon off the Paint Jiggler and cracked it open to put a dab on the top, revealing the most incredibly deep pink, and behind me I hear the entire line of people say,

“Oh my god.”

…in perfect chorus.

I did not realize up until that moment that shocking a crowd of strangers with my paint color choices was a life goal, but at that moment I felt an absolutely overwhelming sense of achievement.

marlynnofmany

An interior door painted to look like the entrance to a medieval castle, with a halo of stonework wallpaper around it, and a who-goes-there hatch open to show the grinning, bearded face of my husband. Also partly in frame is the closet door to the left, which is covered by a full-size sticker of a blue magical portal in the forest.

This is the door to my garage. It used to be white. Live your best life.

A close-up photo of the open hatch in the door, with a black cat held up so she can peer into the garage. The knob for opening and closing the hatch is made of resin: iridescent blue and green over black. The door is gold. Everything is pretty.

Mischief the cat says “Who goes there?”

Every visiting friend says “This is so cool.”

If you’re looking for an excuse to do some decorating that will make your soul sing, this entire thread is your sign to do it and don’t look back!

the-haiku-bot

This is the door to

my garage. It used to be

white. Live your best life.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

ariaste

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My dining room, still in progress. :)

dani-luminae
kyraneko:
“final-girl-cas:
“aseriouscomedian:
“ nordy-draws-stuff:
“ craptaztic:
“ riverdancekat:
“ iguanamouth:
“ thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
“ tolkientrash:
“ thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
“ werewolfjokewar:
“ Santa is on strike due to global...
werewolfjokewar

Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

“MUST BRING PRESENTS TO GOOD CHILDREN”

“Yes good”

“AND EAT THE BAD ONES”

“Wait no”

“EAT THEM”

“sasha no”

tolkientrash

@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

She is making a list

It is not easy with her paws but she is making it

iguanamouth

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shes almost here

riverdancekat

Okay fine this is the ONE Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving BUT THAT’S IT

craptaztic

SASHA’S BACK ON MY DASH!

nordy-draws-stuff

Y’all better behave, you have two months

aseriouscomedian

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

final-girl-cas

Sasha the Christmas tiger my absolute beloved

kyraneko

Ah, a splendid specimen of the Yule Cat.

Scientific name Felis navidad, of course.

cariykon
nudesornaw

if you’re having a bad day, here’s a cute little marching band

blockbhyo

this actually made me cry with joy also one of them is eating noodles

readsquirrel

It just keeps going and getting better. *^^*

involuntaryorange

Me two minutes ago: “cry with joy? an animation of cats playing instruments made someone cry with joy?”

Me now: (sobs into a tissue) “OH MY GOD THAT ONE IS PLAYING TWO RECORDERS AT THE SAME TIME” (blows nose)

son-of-a-tenth-place

CAT PARADE IS BACK

cricketcat9

ALWAYS reblog Cat Parade! 💕💕💕

And one of them has a little duck on its head 🤣

grogusmum

I’ve been blessed with the kitty marching band! I love them 💚🥰

oonajaeadira

GIVE YOURSELF A 2 MINUTE PRESENT.

YOU DESERVE TO STOP AND EXPERIENCE A SIMPLE JOY.

dani-luminae
my partner forever I love them enough to go to hell for them I love them too much not to look back
writing-prompt-s
thefringeperson:
“ azriona:
“ sarah-the-artiste:
“ leafquake23:
“ thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
“ miketooch:
“ notkingkong:
“ this gets funnier every year
”
The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong...
notkingkong

this gets funnier every year 

miketooch

The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME

leafquake23

OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didn’t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.

sarah-the-artiste

oh my god

azriona

#why didn’t you finish cleaning your room?#IDK MOM WHY DIDN’T YOU FINISH THE RON/DRACO MERMAID AU? 

( @mrv3000 )

thefringeperson

Every year, this becomes both more funny, and more painful, and for both of those reasons, it should never be lost or forgotten.