Maaaan, it's been so long since I have posted on this journal, but oddly felt compelled to on this grey and chilly day in Sacramuerto as I poke around Livejournal, Photobucket, and MySpace.
Whenever I'm back in Sacramento, and at my mom's house, I like to go through the online archives, my music media (CD's, cassettes, etc.), old journals, and agendas. It doesn't reinvigorate or refresh me. Rather, it makes me more nostalgic. But I thoroughly enjoy these warm dips.
What's to report? Nothing. It's been four months almost to the day since I left Guatemala after 5 incredible years. Quit the boyfriend, quit work, quit the exotic. And I miss it lots sometimes. But know that there is a lot more ahead of me. Not this here in Sacramento. Just a temporary pause in time so I can visit more with my family. And in the end, know myself more.
all i wanted to do today was ride my new bike under the awesome sun and workout. but then shit went down and now i'm tired and don't want to do anything and it's only 9:30pm, Friday night! How things can go sour in a few hours!
today on my day off i sat at home reading, importing music, and receiving phone calls before leaving to the library
at the library i read and responded to email soon after i caught the m train to the mission to pick up my car upon leaving the bart station jazz called me so she chatted with me until i got to delfina pizzeria where all my pizza dreams came true (i had almost gotten a job there in the past)
after picking up my car i rode up a few blocks, feeling how lovely it is to ride in a car; would jesus have liked it, or does he already know what riding in a car is like?
Here i find myself at the Sugarlump using the internet and drinking some mint tea for my cough-prone throat. Tonight I will see what I get into.
get out of class and see the schoolyard full of bodies walk into the main promenade and see guys and girl playing soccer their bodies sculpted from the game (i want to play)
classmates see me invite me to a house show a comrade hugs me and reminds me about a mecha event tomorrow i get called from a friend wants to cruise the city needs to score some pot and i see some allies who communicate unbeknown est that i should work
tucked in this corner office i write and realize i need to do work but i want to play (seems like i've been playing too often) all the time and write a few songs
it's christmas eve and i'm back home in sacramento.
i've seen three of my friends graduate from college. two of them don't really know what they're gonna do now. they assume a job is next.
...
so i sit here in my mom and sis's apartment living room. since being in sac, everyone who i've hung out with just loves to sit and relax a bit in front of the television. i just can't get into it. i get so impatient. my life in san francisco is nothing like this. i rarely watch tv. and so many of the folks i've talked with will be into talking about a tv show or something. i'm like, "uh huh, uh huh." i think i'm gaining weight just sitting here. we're somewhat getting ready to just head over to my tia's house. more sitting. yo, i need some recess.
RECESS!
but yeah, seeing so many folks has been nice. tomorrow i'm gonna visit my grandma's and rod's graves. give them some time. reflect a moment. my dad's ashes are somewhere here at my mom's.... i wonder if i should take his ashes and spread them somewhere. i don't know. i mean, then he wouldn't be with my grandma, but then he would be near me in san francisco...
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took mac-warped pics with mama.....sometimes i just love her naivety
