Well I suppose this is my new years resolution post.. New Year's Resolution.. Dont really have one.. I guess besides becoming less paranoid about everything. hmm, maybe also learning how to do more with make-up
speaking about make-up...
I got two jobs. One is currently being worked on and is called, "For Christ's Sake" and is being shot in Sarasota. It is starring scream queen Debbie Rochon who is an amazing women.
The second job has already been shot while I was in CT and Im just working on re shoots and such with mostly gore effects...brains..etc. It is called Dead End and is starring Linnea Quigley who was in Return of the Living Dead.
I am so excited my career or something along those lines is starting to come along. It all started with working at Halloween Horror Nights this year where I met my friend Jesse becuase he had a screamfest shirt on we continuely talked and he got me the job on FCS.
let me be the one who never leaves you all alone I hold my breathe and lose the feeling that im on my own hold me too tight.... stay by my side.... and let me be the one who calls you baby all the time I found my place in the world could stare at your face for the rest of my days....
I feel like someone threw my body on the floor and ripped my heart out at the seems.
I just feel like im constantly lying to myself. I hate this.
I've heard so much shit about people that I feel disgusted to even be here.
I know way too much, everyone tells me secrets. It's too much sometimes. I feel like sometimes I am a secret myself because I never let anyone in to my secrets. And than people think Im not talkative because I think "I'm too good" or that bull shit. I've never felt that way at any point in my life. If any thing I feel like Im too lucky to have the friends I do.
There is so much to me that no one knows and no one will. Becuase I reach a point where I become cold and frozen.
The way people react to things gets me the most. I've recently been told alot of things people did out of revenge and it literally sickens me. And this is not down here.
I remember when these thoughts never crossed my mind and I would take whatever was thrown at me. I think that im mentally not able to do that anymore. Thoughts like getting back at someone have crossed my mind alot lately. Although I have not fully fell into doing any of them. Becuase I would still with all my heart would like to think that i am an okay person.
With all these thoughts circling my head lately I havent even had time to think about what really matters.
My family. My uncle is in a light way of saying it, sick. I don't want to lose someone else.
geeky
sleepy