Mature Marrieds

I have been married now for 6 yrs and was engaged for 5 yrs before that. When my husband asked me out in the beginning he had a girlfriend. Like an idiot I went out with him on the condition he break up with his girlfriend instead of me running the other way. One week before the 1st Christmas after we were married I caught him, through a text message, cheating on me. I was devastated! I had always been the one to tell my friends to leave their cheating pieces of crap but when it happened to me I did the unthinkable and stayed. 5 yrs later I don't trust him any more now than the day he did it and know I never will again. I have no where to go but I start nursing school in January. That will last for 15 mths and then I will be completely self-sufficient! I don't know if I will stay with him or not. I don't think any man is any different I just think some are better at hiding it and don't get caught. When I was 11 my mother caught my dad with another family; I was more than devastated! I have been cheated on by every boyfriend I have ever had except one. Do I leave him & if I do then for who or what? I wish I could have the fairy tale that I know is not true!

nilajean told me a story years ago, how she had always cried every afternoon as a little girl, because Miss Lois of KTVI's version of Romper Room never, ever, saw little "Nila" in her Magic Mirror at the end of the program. With child's logic, nilajean felt unloved that the Magic worked for every other boy and girl but not for her. Eventually she grew past the age for Romper Room, but she never forgot the results of her unusual first name.

KTVI tweeted this morning that they were going to have Miss Lois on the morning news for an interview. I made some frantic calls to the station (as their understaffed weekend newsroom producer wouldn't pick up but let the 'phone go to recording and I had to keep re-calling, but after I explained why I was calling, she took our telephone number and said she would try to get it to Miss Lois.

Miss Lois called, bless her heart, and said she still had her Magic Mirror with her and could now see Nila, even though fifty years had passed. Always a kind woman who loved children, she understood how a little girl with an unusual name would feel passed over, and then as adults we had a delightful discussion about how much we all missed the show. It was one of the sweetest conversations I have ever had.

Afterward, nilajean and I got to explain to our boys, born far too late for Romper Room, about Do Being a Do-Bee and Don't Being a Don't-Bee, the "Bend & Stretch" song, and the non-sectarian prayer Miss Lois and the children always said before their snack time. ("God is Great, God is Good. Let us thank Him for our food. Amen.")

I haven't seen nilajean with this big a smile in years, as the weight of all that remembered pain melted away. Bless you, Miss Lois. We still love you.

Lately I have been feeling really alone in my marriage.  I tried to talk to my husband about this today but he honestly does not seem to understand it.  I know that part of this is my emotions being all out of wack from the pregnancy but it hurts when he doesn't seem to care.  I am not sure how to try and fix this or what to do.  I feel like I'm drowning here and I'm completely lost.  I know my marriage will survive, it's not a matter of something big like that.  I just want to know how to reconnect emotionally.  I can't seem to figure that out.   I love my husband more than I could ever begin to express.  And I know he loves me.  I just wish he would show it.

Is there something that you would not entirely trust your partner to buy for you without you being there or having input on?

And vice versa, is there something that you would not buy for them without assistance?

ETA: I am not including joint purchases in this - just solo gifts.

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I have a B'day gift sitting here from my husband. The joys of international mailing, he had to write on the package what it is. I did well not looking, until I was moving the package and saw it.
Jewellery. GULP! He bought me jewellery without me there. This makes me a little nervous. That said, he knows I have simple tastes and he has simple spending, so I betting it is not too crazy, but I am still a little worried.

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Your name: Pip

Your age: 32

Your spouse's name: Florenci

Your spouse's age: 46

Any children (names, ages): He has a son and a daughter, from a previous relationship, who stay with us regularly.

How long have you been married? Just over two years (together for three).

Tell us about yourself! We met online - here in Livejournal, in fact! (in a community for Buster Keaton fans) We were friends for about a year before deciding to take it further, which was easier said than done, given that he lived in Catalunya and I in New Zealand! After my first visit to catalunya, we decided to get married and he came to NZ for the wedding. About 9 months after the wedding, I finished up with university and moved here to Catalunya.
So, as well as all of the normal things couples have to deal with, we have cultural and linguistic stuff as well! Not to mention the whole stepmother/stepchildren thing and me trying to integrate here and learn two new languages.
Sometimes it gets really hard and I'm lucky to have someone who is willing to help me through in any way he can. Of course, sometimes he is the problem! I don't mean that in a negative way, as such, but there are just as many things about ourselves that we have to deal with, as there are social and cultural things.

It's definitely a journey and involves ongoing work. I think a lot of people forget that (or never realized it in the first place) - relationships take a lot of work!

Funnily enough, the one thing that has never been an issue for us is the one thing most people expect to be an issue and that's the age difference. Doesn't even figure, in our case.
Also, I think it often weirds people out that we're such a gender balanced couple. Neither of us fits the traditional paradigm of what a man or woman 'should' be and I know it makes a lot of people uncomfortable - not knowing exactly where to place either of us (I know my lack of 'femininity' distresses my very typical Mediterranean mother-in-law :D) - but that's how we are and it works for us. :)

Anyway, apologies for the excessive babbling - I'm interested in seeing what people have to say here!

Just out of interest (haven't read back through all of the posts yet), is anyone else here in a mixed culture/language relationship?

Well, my husband and I talked it over, but turns out it was too late.  We are goin to have another baby.  I just found out a couple weeks ago.  We weren't trying or anything.  It was quite a surprise since it took fertility treatments to have our last daughter 2 years ago.  So yeah, I start student teaching next week and I do hope that it goes well because so far I am feeling very sick on a daily basis.  According to the doc, the due date is April 7, 2009.  So yeah, wow.  We are having another baby!

Your name: Elizabeth Medere
Your age: 35
Your spouse's name: Ryan Medere aka 'mylove, mybear'
Your spouse's age: 24
Any children (names, ages): I have a 13 year old daughter from a previous marriage
How long have you been married? we've been married almost 3 years, together 5
Tell us about yourself! - I lived and learned just about every mistake imaginable in my first marriage of 11.5 years, and have committed to MYSELF to do this right, this time around.

I'm writing here because honestly I am doing some soul searching in the area of babies and I am not quite sure I want to talk to my husband about it right now.  I really really really want another baby.  Everyone tells me that it's not something I should do because of just starting my teaching career.  Well technically I'm not really starting it yet since I'm just going to be student teaching in the fall.  I won't be able to have my own classroom until the fall of 2009.  And if I were to have a baby before then I don't see how it's so much of a problem.  My dad is moving here the end of September.  I have friends here now who would help if need be.  I just don't get it I guess.  Meadow would be 3 by then.  But Chris wants another one too.  He is just worried about the strain it would place on me.  I mean it's not like this hasn't been discussed numerous times.  We aren't taking any precautions to prevent it yet we aren't really trying either.  I'm just really confused right now and could seriously use some advice.  I have been praying about it and trying to let God do his will.  I know ultimately that it will be whatever His will is.  But I am just trying to figure out what it is to try or not to try for.  I wish He would give me a sign.  We do have two wonderful girls already ages 2 and 8 1/2.  I would love to try for a boy.  I really feel deep inside that if we did try we would get a boy this time.  I don't know.  Any advice would be greatly welcome.

Your name:  Marlena
Your age: 29
Your spouse's name: Jason
Your spouse's age: 36
Any children (names, ages): son 11
How long have you been married? 7 years
  Jason and I have been together for about 8 years.  We have been through a lot together and our marriage has been tested more than some but not as much as others.  I joined the community to get inspiration from others' stories about marriage and to share happy moments in ours'.