get the hell outta radford

Holy shitballs, I typed in my password to this fucking journal, and it actually worked. Reading back on old entries conjures up a lot of pain. Probably why I left, like an old teabag. But here, I'm back again, yearning to be heard by this vacuum of internet space.

I made a vegan burger for Melissa der auf dorf whatever. the day before that i made veggie food for Mono's pers fest, a kålrabi/pastry crust around a walnut/fennel/fenugreek stuffing to make these cutlets, then a tomato risotto the side, with option of using truffles but didn't.... then a pomegranate salad with mustard-orange dressing. i might have that much to talk about these days, but i'm too busy in the kitchen. today: Cantrell and mushroom soup for three days for Norway's National Institute for Modern Dance.

i'm starting this up again, as part of a self-imposed schedule for writing productivity. monday's i've relegated to random blogging, music writing, shit, truly milking the most randomest shit i can outta my brain. other days i have specific projects: tuesday, the veggie cookbook; wed, a fictional narrative on nordism and oslo love; thurs, a part research-oriented and stylized treatise against christian rock; friday's- wisps of memory writing on growing up in midwest americas.

but today is monday. last night i watched "the other guys" with petter. i was hungover, on pot and vodka. we laughed throughout the movie, but in this incredulous, ridiculous, absurd way that you start tiring of, or that you start to resent. because the movie isn't really funny. it's just extremely bad. and that supposed bad "on purpose"- i read somewhere a review on rotten tomatoes that its a farce concocted to rich actors against multinational film corporation. uh huh huh. i think what irritates me the most about films coming out these days, particularly this one, is they have to constantly drop modern amenities in this ordinary way in the script, to show how easily they've become appropriated into daily life: facebook, ipods, myspace, prius electric cars, skyping, etc. Nothing is more sickening then a movie selfconsciously trying to be up to date or relatable to 80% dollar spending teenagers. like that recent hero movie with the kids making myspace pages of themselves as superheroes. i just resent that facebook and text messaging has seeped its way into any sort of communicative act within films--- maybe it's just a painful reminder of what's been lost. letter writing. eloquent dialogues. books, for chrissakes. poetry.

the nineties. i miss the nineties...

boris, growing @ john dee, april 27th
The second time I've gotten into a show free after being mistaken for a member in the band. The first time, Blonde Redhead. The second, Boris, go figure. I'd seen them at ATP just a few months ago, and they were good, particularly the blessed guitarist I'd been mistaken for, who seemed to really give the band that extra edge. But what often annoys me about the band is the extremely Japanese love of anything epic. These long belted ballads sound a bit Emo = Boring. I'm also not sure why they had a new third guitarist...Their albums are a bit up and down too, sometimes they're a garage band, then psychedelic, then stoner. Not to categorise or anything, but they just can't be consistent. Anyway, what I do like about the band is their big heavy riffage, stomach turning tube power. Her massive guitar sound and seemingly effortless soloing, incredible!

acid mothers temple noise fest @ corsica studios, april 25th
Thanks to the reliable London tube system we made it just in time to catch the last ten minutes of this 8 band bill. Granted, the 8 bands were all various mutations of only 3 people in Acid Mothers, but the band (or brief moment of a freak out Japanese acapella session) we saw was... interesting. First jazz-noise bit. Then it went something like, "Ooo ooO Taa aaT Too ooT Aaa aaA Ohh hhO Hee eeH Oww wwO" x 100. Entertaining or bewildering?

trouble @ dingwall's, april 20 '08
Shockingly, this isn't a band you can check out on myspace or youtube, to really "get" them, in case you didn't already. But after belting their first fat marshall crunch these doom metal veterns made me fall in love with rock music all over again. Headbanging the whole way, earnestly cheering for an encore, buying their last TShirt even though it was a double American male's XL... I'm a total fan.

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny…

its midnight on a saturday night and i'm in bed. my right nails are longer than the left, newly cut. i'm newly showered. newly haircutted. ive done the laundry, dishes, shopping here at keith's flat. seen more tv than i have in weeks. seen a good italian youth drama, reminded me of bertolucci's dreamers. i'm hungry but hungover hungry so i can't be bothered to cook more. whir of cars and men's voices outside on the street. north london. fighting. shouting and arguments in foreign accents.

i hate beer. i don't have enough when i want it, and it won't go away if don't want it. every day's an occasion to drink. football. birthday party. finishing job. starting new job. leaving drink. long time no see drink. and i'm starting to get tired of it in my life.

lately ive been trying to record great sentences to start a novel with, but every time i collect one i forget it immediately. so i have a huge collection of great sentences ive forgotten. they're buried in, under and as a result of, purely accidental associations, so its like i'm programmed to naturally forget these crucial threads because they're sandwiched under such blithering piles of other unformed thoughts...

Its difficult to explain anything about my life in the past year without first letting you know I've had no place of my own. Like really. Same old story, right?

I left my apartment in Nottingham around May of last year, that seems so long ago...

While I have had a 'base' in oslo with Kjetil, I've also only been allowed to come in every three months of six.

And now I'm off again... for a month, who knows.

Since last year May, I've been touring around the world, LA New York London Oslo Frankfurt Kerala.

I've quit school.

I've started a few projects.

My own management group : http://www.tabaskoartists.com , my office based at Blå.

I've been asked to play guitar in a band but I won't say until I actually get back and rehearse.

And I'm working on opening a kitchen at Revolver in Møllergata. With Eivind of Serena... we're strangely the perfect pair to do this. I'm managing the kitchen itself, he's going to manage catering and logistics.

When I was a little girl I really wanted to start my own kitchen, and I already knew what i'd look like.

Since I'm forced to go back to the UK I wanna spend my time wisely and do a bit of culinary and business management research... I wanna enroll in a short culinary class and maybe a go for a wine tasting lessson in London...

Our pre-opening date is 17 av Mai... Our grand opening will be in June... After that I may disappear in the kitchen and you'll never hear about me after that so....

Come by and visit me please!

I like to generate informal reviews as an excuse to moan about the one thing I love the most in the world-- music.

the ex guitars meet nilssen-love /vandermark duo @ mono, 13 march 08
the first improvised collaboration i heard involving the ex- was the song "III" from wire tapper 08, with sonic youth + ICP. after coming back to this song having seen them (the ex’s two guitarists Andy Moor and Terrie Ex) live at mono the other week, I could immediately detect their particular imprint... but this time, it was the ex guitarists joined with and against one of Norway’s most notorious drummers Paal Nilssen, and American jazz composer Ken Vandermark. Nilssen-love/Vandermark were by far the driving force tho they didn’t set stage until the second song, and maybe some woulda interpreted them as just creating the background ’noise’ to the well-known Dutch punkers... but the nilssen-love/vandermark duo were very organic, making strange rhythms loosely anchoring it all... whereas the guitars were more sporadic, noisy... sometimes i don’t feel equipped to review these kinds of shows, since experimental-jazz-noise feels such an esoteric field limited to the horde of nerdy skinny white males that were crowding the place, regardless, (all but 1) of the 5 songs they played i found extremely palpable and fantastic, probably would have been honey to any musically-trained ears.


kambodsja, wolf eyes @ blå, 22 march 08
kambodsja- i haven’t made up my mind about them, hardcore to me is very 1999, or at least their brand, but maybe i was spoiled by having gone to countless american hardcore shows as an alienated high schooler... on the other hand, their last song and a few bits and pieces of their noisier songs leads me to believe they’ve got great potential, and its a good thing norway rat’s picked them up.
...i might be the only one who compared wolf eyes to the birthday party that night, though i did also hear a parade of names from throbbing gristle to einstürzende to other shit like that...maybe it was the singer’s demeanor, harsh, nihilistic and somewheres underneath still bits of some haunting melody... anyway, all us and the norway rat crew there (half the crowd) unanimously agreed, they put on a fucking good show. i am sick of hipster noise like the locust or DFA records; or pop or indie bands that ppl think are noise, like battles or xiu xiu-- but this is for real, a noise band, a noise band that’s done a bit of reading on "noise music", and i dig it. nerdishly, i dig.


www.tabaskoartists.com

this is a picture of me when nirvana's nevermind came out.

trader joe's lager is surprisingly decent, given that its 2.5 squid a pack-- but its making me a little sick-looking, the hangover effect, and i think parents at mom dad's church noticed it though, i did single-handedly manage 8-10 three year olds, so something's to be said for that, and didn't get poo'ed or pee'd on once.
they're good kids, they're chinese...
i'm leaving for london in a few days, and i've been stressed and antisocial though secretly i haven't been doing much. i've been babysitting and tutoring a bit, but mostly internetting. something like 10+ hrs a day for the past week. in fact, i think its been one of my most intense stints on the internet, i should be pregnant by now or something
i've been webbuilding
emailing
scrappabulously
networking
photoizing
reputizing
deputizing
cataloguing
blabbing
and
blabbing