Welcome to the bone/pain zone… 🤕🫩😵‍💫

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

need to beam this tweet directly into everyone's minds right now

i read an anecdote ages and ages ago from a gay person who grew up with gay parents, and struggled to find any kind of belonging in the gay community because everyone else there was bonding over having homophobic parents. everyone else was defining themselves by their suffering and oppression rather than by their sexuality, leaving this gay person to feel like they weren't really gay because they didn't have the right experiences. they wondered whether more gay people would feel this way as more children grew up with gay parents, if the gay community would leave them behind for not having suffered enough. i think about that anecdote a lot.

a lot of the current rhetoric around gender reminds me of that anecdote. a lot of people are willing to go "transgender people are oppressed for their gender presentation, therefore if you're not oppressed for your gender presentation, you're not trans." but i don't think we should be defining ourselves by our suffering and oppression. what will we do, in a few years, in a few decades, as there start to be, say, adults who were supported in their transition as children? what will we do when a stereotypical trans person can genuinely say they didn't suffer hardship for being trans?

i'm afraid i know the answer. i'm afraid that people are going to close ranks as they've already started closing ranks against intersex people, against nonbinary people, against double binary people, against closeted people. as some people have started closing ranks against people who transitioned in the opposite direction from them. as many people have closed ranks against people with edge case gender experiences. "i don't consider you to be oppressed, therefore you are not welcome to share in this community you might otherwise belong in."

i wish people would understand that we shouldn't do this. i wish people would understand that we benefit from a broader, more inclusive community more than we benefit from whatever purity testing oppression olympics it is that i keep running into.

I wanted to use what ‘reach’ I may have here to share the Carolina Wildlife Center’s urgent plea for donations. If they are unable to raise $75,000 to cover ongoing and future care of their wildlife patients, the center will have to close July 20th, 2026. The services provided by CWC to the community are incredibly valuable, and without them, many wild animals will suffer without the care they need.

Original post

Link to donate

Any donation amount above $5 gets a sketch/drawing- just show me the reciept!!!

This is so generous and an amazing deal!

This amount of individualism is exactly whats gonna kill us all btw

"Going a couple hours without eating a single kind of food? No thanks, I would rather kill a child" is such a wildly horrifying take to see MULTIPLE people proudly stating.

this is what is happening between us when i like your vent post

It is wild when you start doing any research at all into the efficacy of different psychotherapeutic modalities and like 90% of the studies say: "CBT is by far the most practiced and widely available form of therapy and it essentially does nothing". But its cheap and easy and fits society's perception of what therapy is for so it just keeps getting touted as an effective intervention.

Also kind of crazy that like CBT is studied WAY more than any other therapy modality, by a huge margin, and almost all the studies on its efficacy are like: "CBT is about as effective as just talking about your problems with someone who listens and is empathetic, and pretty much all of the positive benefits of CBT can be attributed to having a dedicated person to talk to". And yet the conclusion is still: "CBT is the best and we should be giving it to everybody for everything!!"

Like, it's so clearly a self-perpetuating system? CBT is one of the most common and widely available forms of therapy because its cheap and easy and requires very little training to administer and also neatly aligns with the goals and values of neoliberal society -> CBT is widely studied because it is the most commonly available form of therapy for people to access, and thus it is easier to study because there is a large pool of practitioners/clients to draw from -> studies of CBT are not adequately compared to studies of other forms of therapy (even other forms of talk therapy) because there aren't enough studies/data on other modalities to compare to -> studies of CBT claim that its an effective modality because its more effective than doing literally nothing, and comparison to other modalities is lacking -> studies claiming the effectiveness of CBT are used to justify administering more CBT to more people, creating a larger available pool of practitioners/patients to study, and on and on and on.

* not what you use but what you find the sexiest!

I was kinda hoping to skip a dedicated begpost this month but such is life.

(and if you don't know me, hi I'm reyah and I'm a disabled queer in florida and I make art over on ⤿patreon⤾ when the spoons allow)

For June, I still have $400 in bills to clear before I'm pushing the rock back up the same hill in August. More than half of that is for medical care -- prescriptions are coming back around to need renewal, and I need to see my doctor for updates on medication changes.

Urgently, however, I need to come up with $40 to renew my car's registration which is now officially expired.

direct donations are incredibly appreciated, but only if you can, only if you’re willing <3

PayPal | (link)
Venmo | (dovesndecay)
Cashapp | ($dovesndecay)

$60/$400

The registration has been renewed, thanks to y'all, and that is a relief cuz that was stressing me tf out. *phew*

Please continue to send this around; I very much do still need more help. <3 Thank you all so much.

6/30 Update: $115/$400

July bills have officially already started eating into what I've got 😩 so any and all help is super extra greatly appreciated

7/2 Update:

June's remaining need: $295

July's remaining need: $290

Total need to clear the budget: $585

7/8 Update: $170/$585

yall gotta be nicer about m/f  bc sometimes u guys like the blandest gay sutff ive ever seen in my life

gonna add onto this you all gotta stop acting like m/f is just cishet when bisexual people exist and straight trans people exist.

last add on alot of m/f ships of poc or white/poc ship are constantly downplayed for bland white m/m or f/f ships

#also sometimes u guys r just fuckig misogynist. abt the women in m/f ships. sorry

i cant believe that there's still gamergate STANK on games that women enjoy. NASTY misogyny residue. stardew valley is in fact a video game. animal crossing is also a video game. so are otome games and dating sims and twee little cozy games. sometimes a bitch doesnt wanna play bloodborne that shit's hard

guys who mainly play 2k and fortnite will still be like oh youre not a real gamer for having 1000 hours in stardew. mother fucker you're larping as a basketball player

10 reminders for disability pride month.

1. there will always be someone more severely affected by their disability than you are, this does not mean you aren't disabled, or that your struggles aren't real. these disabled people are not your enemy.

2. visibly disabled people are not treated better than invisibly disabled people, there are different struggles to both.

3. visibly & severely disabled people are not lucky for being visibly disabled or severely disabled. this belief is ableist.

4. we all need to keep the more severely disabled people in mind, they are the most vulnerable & this is disability justice 101.

5. there will always be severely disabled people in public, you absolutely need to work on your discomforts about the conditions/aids/symptoms/behaviours they might have; drooling, incontinence, "odd" behaviours, visible differences, use of AAC etc. this is a you problem, not a them problem.

6. there will always be symptoms of disabilities that you don't approve of; zero social awareness, cognitive impairments, violent meltdowns, strong smells & loud noises, being nonverbal/semiverbal etc. no one can force you to like it, but you cannot be cruel to them regardless of your opinions, again, this is a you problem & not a them problem.

7. you can still be ableist even if you yourself are disabled, this isn't always internalised, it can also be outright ableism.

8. caregivers of severely disabled people often play an important role in disability spaces, try not to *immediately* discount their experiences, unless they're truly over stepping, are being factually incorrect/uneducated or ableist. (caregivers can come with unique problems in disability spaces, 100%, but they are not inherently bad)

9. severely disabled people will have experiences you do not have, it is not an attack on you when these experiences are talked about.

10. “people wouldn’t say [ableist thing] to a wheelchair user” yes they would and yes they do.

and yes, some of these things that i've mentioned still applies to less severely disabled people, but goes especially for severely disabled people who often experience these things the most. be kind, be compassionate.

"There's no platonic explanation for this" <-you need to be nicer to your friends. Right now