Welcome to My life

so basically

today has been just as mundane as the last few

whaaaaaaaaaaatever...

it happens...

Leaving for Italy next week Friday....

that should be fun...

urgh...

my parents wanted to talk about it last nite...

at dinner...

And I kinda snapped...

i was really rude and sniped at them

and it isnt their fault...

I am just so stressed and in a bad mood and that puts me on the defensive...

growl...

whatever...

I don't even care about it anymore...

I don't care about anything...

I just want this year over

I want summer to be here

I want to run away to Pennsylvania

Run to where I know I am safe from all this shit in New York

It is just to the point where I am asking myself

Why did I ever care????????

but then I remember why

and that question immeadiatly is replaced with

What the hell am I supposed to do now???????

I can't go on like this anymore...

So... do I go with my instincts and run away????

well no...

cuz I can't just leave yet...

I have to get through this damn school year...

but then

I can leave

I'll be away...

and everything will be better...

(sigh)

Last nite was good

I just listened to a really angry CD (the mix I am listening to now)

and lit candles

and just was existant...

then I'm back to square one after only 7 periods in school

It is gross

whatever...

Jazz Choir was good yesterday

Mrs. A was gone

so we only worked till 3

and Ricky was there as an audience and thinks we sounded alright...

Track was aright

stupid newbies didnt even do the drills

props to Mara and Becca and Me and Jamie and Laura Bush for doing it

urgh...

Im listening to NickelBack and I am in heaven with it

It absorbs my angriness and sadness

and makes me very happy... but only temporarily...

Really tempted to leave...

school...

in 25 mins...

but I can't...

Physics...

bull shit...

Though Latona is freakin amazing...

she is letting me use this comp basically whenever I want

and doesnt monitor me

and it lets me vent

and have some alone time

which, lately, i sorely need....

I need to call Emily tomorrow

NEEEEEED to

to hang out with her

since I havn't in a while

Laura and Rachel arnt here in school, again...

I really miss them...

they honestly are one of the only reasons I am able to stand school anymore

another one is seeing Deanna every once in a while

her smiles give me comfort and help a lot...

but that is pretty much it...

Open lunch is back

both nice and a pain...

don't even ask me to explain that...

urgh...

there is a meet on Saturday

but thank GOD that I don't have to go to the one on Friday...

something about Seniors have to be Varsity...

which is REALLY sad...

cuz I really should never be concidered for any Varsity level...

I basically just suck at it

and there are people way better who deserve being called it...

and should be able to compete against the best...

o well...

hopefully it will be cancelled...

got nothing after school today besides track at 3:30

so I might just go to the weight room and run

listen to my angry mix...

I am still torn on buying an iPod

specially since I am going to at least 3 different Ball/Prom dealios...

and I have to pay for those...

though I really want an iPod for Italy...

and my camera...

that will be love....

Mike Piazza (don't know why that came to mind) said he wants to go to Niagara

both him and his girlfriend

They are really nice kids

hahahahaha

wow

I am so boring...

what ever...

well...

I prob should stop typing and just leave...

bye...


-Mark-