I am nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect

Chapter 3

Tony opened the door to his house with a feeling of déjà vu, what have I gotten myself into he thought, not for the first time.
“Come on in, there’s a spare bedroom that you two can share if you don’t mind that is.”
“Non mon ami, dat would be fine by me.”
Tony gave his guests a quick tour of the house, not that really needed it since they’ve been here before.
“Right now that everyone is settled I’m going to ring Ducky and then Jen to get us time off work.” Gibbs said, then walked out of the living room and into the kitchen.
“So what exactly are yer powers, Xavier didn’t tell us much ‘bout ya before we came here.” Asked Logan
“Oh that reminds me I should make a shield around the house to prevent anyone unwanted trying to break in.” Tony closed his eyes and concentrated for a few minutes. A shield began to form around him that continued to get bigger and eventually left the room altogether. When Tony was happy with the size of the shield he make it invisible to the naked eye.
“Y’ can make shields den?”
“Among other things, yes.” At that moment Gibbs walked back in. “Did you get our time off?”
“Yup.”
“Both of us at exactly the same time and she let it happen?”
“Yup”
“You’re gonna make me ask how you did it aren’t you.”
“Yup.”
“You know you can be as bad as me sometimes. And that’s a rhetorical question don’t answer it. So how did the great and almighty Gibbs manage to get us both time of without arousing her suspicion?”
“It was actually very simple I got Ducky to call her to tell her you came down the a bad case of the cold and because of your lungs needed someone to watch over you, so I came. Then I got the cold and we’re both to sick to go to work until this clears up. Which is magically will in about a week.”
“And she fell for that?”
“Yup”
“She’s really not that bright is she?”
“Nope” Gibbs said smirking “Which works to our advantage of course. Also Ducky is coming round tomorrow with some more painkillers for you and tablets for migraines, which I know you’re going to get so don’t even bother whining to me.”
“But Gibbs they make my head all fuzzy and then I can’t concentrate so I won’t be able to use my powers properly!”
“It’s because of your powers you’re probably going to get a migraine, so it won’t much matter either way.”
“Fine. Well I’m tired I’m going to go get some sleep. I’ll see you all in the morning. Gibbs does a wonderful breakfast so make sure your up for it!”
“I’m not cooking for you all this week Tony.”
“Aww but Gibbs your such a good cook.”
“And what did I tell you I would do if you let that secret out?”
“Don worry mon ami, Logan here is a terrific cook too, he’ll take turns wit’ y’”Remy said smirking at Tony.
“I like the way you think.” Tony said wincing as he got up to go to bed. He hoped his ribs would heal quickly, he couldn’t afford to be injured now.
“Cajun” Logan growled
“Come on Logan it’s impolite to not pitch in when staying in a persons house.
“And how exactly are you going to pitch in?”
“I think I might also go to bed.” Remy said as he got up and stretched.” Long day and all that.” Then quickly left the room.
Logan and Gibbs just looked at each other for a few minutes then said in unision. “They’re doing all the cooking.” Smirking at each other they both headed their separate ways to bed.

Tony awoke to the smell of breakfast being cooked and smiled. He lay there a few more minutes in the comfortable warmth of his bed, not wanting to get out and face what lay ahead for him today. He was safe in his bed and all the worries were outside of it waiting for him to deal with them. Grudgingly he eventually admitted to himself he needed to get up. Getting changed quickly he took of towards the kitchen. Passing the spare bedroom he heard a whispered “I love you too.” Interesting he thought. Now either Gibbs is cheating on me or….
“Morning!” Tony chirped as Logan and Remy opened the spare bedroom door.
“Tony!” Remy gasped. “Uhh good morning.” Remy snuck past a grinning Tony and took of towards the kitchen, Logan quickly following on his heels. Tony followed them in time to see Gibbs dishing out three plates of food.
“See I knew you would cook for me.”
“This is a one of DiNozzo.”
“Oh please old man I know by now your bark is far worse than your bite.”
“Old man eh?” Gibbs asked. Then strode over to a wide eyed Tony, swiped his legs out from underneath him, caught him gently so as not to jar his ribs too much when he was close to the ground and kissed him gently on the forehead, then brought him back up to his feet and continued handing out food.
“Good morning to you too boss” said a shell shocked Tony. “Not having any food?”
“Already had mine when I came back from my run”
“I still don’t see the point of getting up that early.”
Gibbs just grunted and headed of towards the shower with a quick “enjoy”.
“So are you two together then?” Tony asked calmly. Remy, who was taking a drink at the time, proceeded to choke until Logan helped him out by slapping him hardly on the back.
“Did y’ ‘ave t’ hit me so hard?”
Logan just grinned and continued eating. Clearly he was leaving Remy to deal with the question.
“Oui, we are t’gether. But we appreciate it ‘f y’ told no-one ‘bout dis. We not got ‘round t’ telling de rest if de team.”
“Your secret is safe with me, I promise. I know what it’s like to want to hide it from your team. It was only recently we told the team I work with that me and Gibbs are together. It was a shock to them, but they stuck by us and we’re closer for it.”
“M’ glad to hear dat. Hopefully it work out dat way for us too.”

A knock at the door interrupted the breakfast. “Excuse me a minute.” Tony said as he got up of his chair, with a little more ease than yesterday. As he walked towards the door he made a gap in the shield around the house, which extended to just inside the front door. So someone could come up to the house but not be able to get inside. A few minutes later an older gentleman entered. Tony made quick introductions.
“I’m afraid I’m only able to stay a few minutes, I’m just dropping in these tablets for you while on my way to work.”
“Thanks Ducky but you really didn’t have to.”
“Well I heard what happened to the last batch I gave you. Is Gibbs around I’d really rather give these to him.”
Tony glared at Ducky. “No he’s in the shower I’ll take them for you.”
Ducky walked towards Tony and dangled the medicine in front of his face. “If these end up in the same place as the last ones then the next medicine I give you will be injected by a needle into a very tender place. Do we have an understanding?”
Tony gulped “Yes Ducky.”
“Very well I shall see myself out I’m running a little bit late. Oh and Tony there hasn’t been a threat yet which I haven’t carried out.” Tony stood shocked for a few minutes then heard the front door close and turned to look at the medicine. Remy and Logan sat and watched as a battle was clearly raging on inside Tony’s head. A decision must have been made as Tony went to grab the medicine and make for the sink, only to have them snatched out of his hand before he took one step.
“Now you wouldn’t be planning to do what I think you’re planning to do are you DiNozzo? Because you know I’ve heard injections really hurt when they’re injected in that area.”
“G..Gibbs. How did you know about Ducky’s threat? Never mind I should know by now that you’ll never reveal your sources. And for your information I was just going to put them on that shelf over there….by the sink.”
“Uh huh, like I haven’t heard that one before.”
Tony just gave Gibbs his award winning smile before grabbing Gibbs’ car keys and shaking them in his hand. “Come on Gibbs we don’t have time to waste arguing about petty things, I have to go practice using my powers again!” Tony took of towards the front door. Gibbs not too far behind yelling “If you think your driving my car you’ve got another thing coming.”
“I don’t want to end up with another bruised rib, you’re driving is going to kill me one day!” Tony yelled back.
Remy and Logan turned to face each other amused with the antics between the pair, then stood up to follow them out the door.

Chapter 2

The flight over was tense to say the least. No-one attempted to break the awkward silence onboard and quiet sighs of relief were heard all round when the plane finally landed. They all descended off the plane and headed towards the war room. Gibbs, being the only one who hasn’t been in the mansion before, had to admit he was impressed by it. Ofcourse he only admitted this to himself.

“Tony! I’m so glad you came, I was worried there for a while that you would decide not to come.”
Tony glanced round to see who was talking to him, and found a man he did not recognize.
“Do I know you?”
“You will, eventually. I am Bishop, I’m from the future. I came back to stop this time from turning out the way mine has.”
“Again” coughs Remy.
“You’re telling me your from the future?” Tony said skeptically, “I find that hard to believe”
“Most people do, but it’s true. I have a message from yourself in the future, you told me to give it to you the second I found you.”
“I did, did I? I’m getting confused already.”
“Here just watch it.” Bishop hands Tony a device.
“I’m going into the next room to watch this, no peeking!” Tony then grabbed Gibbs by the wrist and continued out the door.

Once inside the room, Tony formed a shield around himself and Gibbs, large enough so they wouldn’t feel claustrophobic. He then proceeded to solidify it, effectively blocking out and unwanted eyes and ears. “Just coz I know you are curious old man” he whispered to himself. Gibbs looked kind of awe struck but was clearly trying to hide it. Looking at Tony he knew he was fooling no-one.
“You’ve told me all about your powers, and what you can do but this is the first time I’ve seen them. It’s different than just hearing about them you know?”
“Yea I know the feeling.” Tony gave Gibbs a light kiss on the side of the head to help calm him a bit. “Now let’s see what this message has to say.” He pushed the play button and an image of himself appeared on the screen and it begun to talk.
“I hope this message got to you safely. And if you are thinking to yourself, boy do I look old, I am coming back in time to slap you myself! Although I suppose I could get Gibbs to do that for me, I presume he is standing next to you, he is never very far away. If you think I look old just imagine how bad Gibbs must look!!”
“Ow!”

“Gibbs if you just slapped Tony that’s hardly fair, he hasn’t said that about you yet! I sent this message back to beg you to help Xavier. I know he has done wrong by you in the past, and that his vision of the ideal future sometimes makes him blind to the present, but he is not a bad person. If you help it would not be for him but for the thousands that will die if you do nothing. And by the time you realise that you must help, it will be too late. Cities will have been destroyed along with everyone in them, and the monster responsible will become too powerful for you to stop. Trust me on this, it is a burden too great to bare to have their deaths on your conscience. The monster you must stop goes by the name of Asura. He is incredibly powerful and will difficult for even you to stop. If I am right then a week from tomorrow you can find him at the co-ordinates I gave Bishop. It is from there he plans on beginning his attack on people. One of his powers is to be able to absorb a person’s essence, this increases his strength, and with time makes him impossible to defeat.”

“I no you are probably reluctant still to fight this thing. But what I have to tell you next will surely make up your mind. It is what made me stand up and take notice of it. Gibbs dies at his hands Tony.”
Tony looked at the message in pain and despair, and could see the same emotions reflected back at him.
“You must stop it before that happens, trust me you don’t want to live through that pain. I know little about what powers it starts with, because when it absorbs a mutant’s essence it also gets that mutants powers. So I do not know what powers are originally his alone. Good Luck.”

The message screen turned black, and the two observers just stood and watched it a few minutes more, neither knowing what to say to the other.
“Well then….” Tony starts, but is still unable to think of what to say.
“Don’t decide to fight this thing just because you think it will save me. You don’t know that I will die, this message being sent back could have changed that.”
“Yes, but can I really take the change that it didn’t. Plus I’m right, I’m always right, if I stand by and watch this happen because I’m too stubborn to help Xavier, then their deaths will be on my shoulders. I don’t want that. I guess….I guess I have to fight this thing.”
“Tony..”
“Oh well I was getting bored anyways, nothing exciting seems to have happened to me lately. You know between the plague, the bomb and getting framed for murder, you think someone is trying to send me a message? Anyway I guess I should go and get the information from Bishop, come on.” Tony’s shield dissipated and he strode of towards the door.

Before Tony walked into the war room he formed his face into an emotionless mask, one he had perfected over the years. He still wanted them to think that he was doing this out of reluctance instead of for protecting someone he cherished. Happy, he opened the doors and walked inside. Tony hiding his emotions took only a few seconds but Gibbs noticed the changes, ones he was sure only he could see. The straighter posture, the fine lines around his eyes, and the way his mouth dipped slightly downwards. To anyone he would look emotionless, but to Gibbs, who could read Tony as well as Tony could read him, he looked stressed. Gibbs quickly followed Tony inside.

“Give me the co-ordinates Bishop” Tony demanded.
“I knew you would do it!” Bishop said as he turned to bring up a picture of where the co-ordinates where.
“I’m doing this on the condition that you,” Tony said turning to point at Xavier “never bother me with something like this again. There was a reason I left here in the first place and didn’t get involved with you and your fights. That reason still stands. After this don’t dare contact me again, because if you think I’m scary pissed of just wait until you really annoy Gibbs.”
“I understand. Bishop give Tony a layout of the area at those co-ordinates.”

“Right now that I know what I’m fighting and where I see no reason for me to be here any longer.”
“No Tony you should..” Xavier started
“No.”
“But its …”
“No, I’m not staying here even if you believe it is safer. I can protect myself.”
“Well at least let some of the X-men stay with you just incase. It is possible that other people from the future came back to prevent you helping us.”
“I’ll stay with him”
“Uhh, no thanks. You may know me Bishop but I don’t know you and it would just be a bit too weird for my liking.” Tony walks over to Remy and Logan, “I’d like you two to stay with me if you don’t mind”
“But Tony you don’t even know them.” Xavier said.
“Exactly. This way there will be no awkward avoiding of the past.”
“We would be happy to, mon ami.” Remy said, Logan just grunted.

Chapter 1

Tony got out from his car and pushed his front door open. Well that’s odd, he thought. He walked towards his living room, leaving the lights off, he already had a bad enough headache without adding to it. He stopped in the middle of the room and sighed, even though he couldn’t see them he knew they were there.

“You know if you are going to lock pick someone’s door the least you could do is lock it behind you so they don’t realise something is wrong. It’s just common sense.” Tony then continued onto the kitchen and opened the fridge to grab a bottle of water. Light spilled out making him flinch. He grabbed the painkillers Ducky had given him earlier and through them down the sink, then re-entered the living room and flopped down on the sofa.

He flicked on the lamp to his left and looked into the face of Charles Xavier. Two men where either side of him, who he later found out to be Remy and Logan.
“Whatever it is, no” Tony said firmly, trying to keep his anger in check.
“Tony please you must hear me out.” Charles said, trying to reason with him.
“No, I really don’t have to. You see that’s the privilege of this being my home. I can chuck you out.”
“You don’t understand what is going on, the ….”
“Ohh wait. Please let me guess. The world is in terrible danger and I must come to your aid as I am the only one that can help in your time of need. Am I along the right lines?”
Frustrated now Charles tried a different approach “I no our agreement said that I must leave you alone to live out your life, and I have done that! But this threat is beyond even our capabilities to stop. I have not interfered in your life for 10 years, but now I ask for your help, please Tony I have nowhere else to turn.”
“Ummm…no. You seem to have forgotten why I left in the first place. I owe you nothing. Now if you will excuse me I am having a really shitty day and you are not helping.”
“Tony…”
“No honestly it’s been really shit. First my car got a flat making me late to work, which Gibbs did not appreciate. Then my computer decided not to work, probably just to piss me of. Finally, the suspect we were trying to arrest decided it’d probably be better of for him if he just ran, so naturally I had to run after him. Unfortunately he then decided when I caught him that I deserved to be beat up, so I had to spend the remainder of the day down in Ducky’s where he poked me a lot and told me I have badly bruised ribs, then proceeded to give me pills that will make my head fuzzy, which might be an improvement at the minute because I have a rather large headache, that you are adding to. So you see I am not in a very charitable mood, and you have yet to give me a reason as to why you really think I would help you.”

“Who the bloody hell are you.”
“Ah Gibbs hey, meet Charles Xavier.”
“I see.” Gibbs said coldly.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Gibbs, I am here in an attempt to…”
“I don’t particularly care why you are here, but you can leave now. Tony is injured and should be resting” Gibbs said and then proceeded to ignore Xavier and who appeared to be his two bodyguards. “Tony where are your pills, Ducky said you should take two then go to bed”
“Uhh, the pills right, you see about that.”
“Don’t even tell me you flushed them DiNozzo.”
“I hate what they do to my head and I wasn’t going to take them anyways.”
“Bloody hell DiNozzo you’re worse than a child.”
“Hey! That’s not very nice you know.”
“When have you known me to be nice.”
“You have your moments.” Tony said with a secret smile.
Xavier does a polite cough “Excuse me…”
“Why are you still here, I thought I made it pretty clear Tony needs his rest and I want you out of our house.”
Remy spoke for the first time “Dis is clearly going nowhere. Tony I don’ know what problem y’ got wit’ the professor, but dis isn’t about him. Remy t’inks that y’ seem like a nice guy. We came ‘ere to ask fo’ yah ‘elp. All y’ need ta do is come wit’ us an’ see what our problem is. If y’ don’ wanna ‘elp den dat’s okay we leave y’ right back ‘ome. All Remy asking o’ y’ is dat y’ at least look at de info we ‘ave. Please homme?

There was something in the Cajuns eyes that begged Tony to help, and afterall what harm could it do to just go and look at what their problem is?
“Alright, but if I say no that’s it, you bringing me right back here and you leave me alone.”
“Merci, Remy will personally leave y’ back.”
“Okay then we’re ready to go.”
“We?”
“Yes Charles we. Is there a problem?”
“No, no the blackbird is just outside, shall we?”
The X-men and Xavier headed for the door, Tony made to follow them when Gibbs grabbed his arm
“Tony are you sure about this, I know how much you don’t want to get dragged back into that life.”
“I’m just going to look, nothing more.”
Gibbs grabbed Tony into a hug. “Love you, you know.”
“Love you too. You know you could have given me a lift to work, you knew the tire was flat.”
“I like seeing you all flustered running into work.”
“You’re a bastard you know.”
“It’s what I’m best at”
They shared a quick kiss then headed outside to join the others.

TBC

Tony’s funeral took place a few days after Gibbs had the chance to say goodbye. It was a quiet funeral with just Tony’s closest friends and some of his family there. The sun was shinning high in the sky as if to mock the sadness everyone else felt, and even though it was a hot summer’s day a chill wind still blew and Gibbs smiled, as he alone knew what that meant.

Long after everyone had left, Gibbs still remained watching over Tony. It still hadn’t quite clicked that this really was happening. That this wasn’t some dream he could wake up from soon. He knew it would have been a lot worse if he hadn’t been given the chance to say goodbye. He had watched as each member of his team had come out of Tony’s hospital room with a look of confusion but also peace. They had let Tony go, but Gibbs himself was still having problems with that part. He longed so much to be with Tony, that even his work seemed like a chore he was being forced to do. He thought he might catch this final person who harmed Tony and then call it quits. Not once in his life had he not wanted to go into work and fight for what he believed in. But now it was as if with Tony’s death, his belief in his work was taken along with him. Although that wasn’t the only thing Tony took, he felt as if he had lost a part of himself as well, he couldn’t make himself care about anything at all. He knew it was time to call it quits, he couldn’t do his job right if he no longer wanted to do it at all.

He walked into NCIS, he knew his team had a few more days of to mourn, but he couldn’t just sit at home while Tony’s killer was on the loose. And it looked as if his team couldn’t either. Ziva and McGee looked up from their computers as he walked in, each with a look that said neither of them where going anywhere. Gibbs didn’t try to make them leave, instead he issued orders on leads he had to find this man.

It was a few days later when they finally had a breakthrough. Abby had pulled the footage from the cameras in the parking lot, and they had managed to find out his name from the face she pulled. His apartment was abandoned, they had gone over every object in hope to find a clue as to where he could have gone, but came up empty. He had the police everywhere looking out for the license plate number Abby had also got, but nothing showed up.

It was Andrews himself, for that was the killer’s name, that would give Gibbs the much needed breakthrough he desired. He thought he could call up NCIS to gloat about killing their agent, and if he kept the call short that they wouldn’t be able to trace him. Ofcourse he hadn’t met Abby. No sooner than Andrews had hung up, Gibbs was heading to his car shouting orders for Abby to phone McGee and Ziva and tell them to meet Gibbs at the motel.

Gibbs didn’t wait for backup, he just needed to get his hands around the person who had taken Tony away from him. He wasn’t thinking straight, he knew it was a mistake but he charged on ahead anyways. He kicked the front door in and went into the room to find Andrews pointing a gun at him.
“Drop it.” Andrews said
“You first.”
“I mean it, I’ll shoot you!”
“I don’t doubt that you will, however I will shoot you aswell. I’m a trained sniper the second you shoot you’re dead.”
Andrews was visibly shaken, first by the fact that Gibbs was here in his room, and by the glare that was sent his way, as if this man was teasing him, not caring if he shot him or not. Gibbs noticed the shake in the mans hands, a shaken man was much more dangerous than a trained one, anything could set him of.
“Why.”
“What?”
“Why did you kill him?”
“Was an added bonus I guess. I just was meant to drive over the crime scene, which would destroy most of the evidence so I wouldn’t get caught. That man just had bad timing standing there when he did.”
“Are you really so stupid to think that driving over a part of that crime scene would get you off free?”
Andrews just stared at him blankly. It was clear to Gibbs that he wasn’t the smartest tool in the shed. It was hard to think that such an idiot killed DiNozzo, and that it was all because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. If he was in any other place Gibbs would have just broke down and laughed. It was just so ironic, Tony could attract trouble from everywhere. The plague, locked in a box, framed for murder, beaten in a hotel. But this….this pathetic, idiotic, fool of a man had managed to do what everyone else couldn’t, he managed to kill Tony DiNozzo. Gibbs just shook his head in amazement. This man didn’t deserve Gibbs’ revenge, he was just to pathetic for Gibbs to even waste his time on. He didn’t want to do this anymore, he was sick and tired of it. He needed Tony to make anything in his life seem worth doing. Tony was gone, and he had taken Gibbs’ life with him.

Headlights shone through the curtains in the window and a siren sounded in the distance. Gibbs tilted his head slightly to the right momentarily, before realising his fateful mistake. The lights and the noise had startled, the already shaken Andrews. Everything went into slow motion. As Gibbs turned his head back to face Andrews, he himself pulled the trigger on the gun. There was a blinding pain in Gibbs’ chest as he fell backwards. He pull the trigger as he fell and even in this state his aim was true. Andrews fell to the ground with him, with a bullet hole between the eyes. Gibb’s turned his head to the left not wanting to see Andrews body in his line of sight. He could have sworn DiNozzo stood there, leaning against the wall of the room, with a sad look in his eyes, as if he was patiently waiting for someone. Then everything went dark.

“Gibbs…..Gibbs. You need to wake up, we don’t have much time.”
“T-Tony..?” Gibbs slowly opened his eyes, doubting he had heard correctly. He looked up to see Tony’s sparkling eyes leaning over his face. He stood up and looked around him. He could see his body there on the floor. Time itself seemed to travel at a snails pace, the door handle was turning very slowly and he knew it was Ziva and McGee running to the sound of the gunshots.
“What’s going on?”
“This is like a half-way point, between life and death. I felt this was going to happen, so I thought I would come here and wait for you. I tried to keep you safe but…..well I guess that kind of didn’t happen. But it’s okay, you’ll be fine. As long as you stay in this place you can be revived. Ziva and McGee will get here soon and the paramedics will bring you back, I just wanted to come here so you wouldn’t get confused, or try and leave this place behind.”
“So as long as I stay here I will be alive?”
“Yea, you’ll go back.” Tony looked at him with those sad eyes of his. This isn’t right he thought, those eyes of Tony’s should never have to look so sad. It was just so unnatural for him. He realised he didn’t feel sad anymore, he didn’t feel the pain in his chest that he had been feeling ever since Tony died, he didn’t feel that a part of him was missing anymore. He looked into Tony’s eyes and said
“I’m not going back.” Then turned from his body and began to stride away.
“Like hell you’re not Gibbs.” Tony said, grabbing his arm “This is not you’re time.
“It wasn’t meant to be yours either but it was.”
“That was different.”
“How?”
“You can go back, I couldn’t”
“So? I don’t want to go back, my whole life is with you, and you’re here so therefore I should be here.”
“No. I won’t let you die because of me.”
“You died because I couldn’t reach you in time, because I didn’t notice the car until it was too late, but do you blame me?”
“No, ofcourse I don’t blame you, there’s nothing you could have done, it was out of your control.”
“This situation is out of your control. There’s nothing you could have done here that could have prevented this from happening Tony. It may not have been my time but it wasn’t yours either. These things happen, maybe for a reason, maybe not I don’t know. All I know is that they happen. This is no more your doing, than your death was mine. Tony I died when you died, my body just got left behind is all.”
“Gibbs…”
Ziva and McGee where now moving in slow motion towards Gibbs’ body, the paramedics only steps behind. Soon they would bring Gibbs back if he didn’t leave now.
Gibbs smiled and cupped Tony’s face. “You are a part of me. When you died I gave up on everything except finding your killer, and look at what I found. I don’t want to go on with this anymore. For the first time I didn’t want to do my job. I just want to be with you, for now and forever. il mio cuore appartiene a lei (my heart belongs to you)”
“ed il mio a lei” (and mine to you). “Since when can you speak Italian boss?”
“We have forever to find out Tony.”
Gibbs grabbed Tony’s waist and pulled him close to himself. Tony sighed and smiled then rested his head on Gibbs’s shoulder. Gibbs put his own head on top of Tony’s. This was the first time in a long time that he felt at peace and safe. Together they walked through the door where a bright light blinded them. Gibbs blinked a couple of times before noticing they were someplace else.

They were standing on a beach. He looked over to see the same cliff he and Tony had sat on just over a week ago. It seemed so much longer. He looked up the other side of the beach and saw a pier with a boat attached to it. Tony took his hand and led him towards the boat. As he got closer he saw it was the same as the replica Tony had built in the jar, and on the side were the words “Boat of Dreams”. Tony laughed at the expression on his face, and Gibbs found a grin tugging at his face. Tony began to run backwards on the sand, pulling Gibbs onwards, laughing so carefree that Gibbs laughed along too. Both of them laughed and stumbled towards the boat, before Tony tripped and Gibbs fell along with him. They lay side by side just holding each others hands, staring out at the ocean that seemed to engulf the rest of the world. Gibbs’ free hand reached over to rub Tony’s face. Tony’s hand caught it and kissed it gently. And they lay like that, hand in hand, each at peace with each other, knowing that nothing would ever tear them apart again. Tony knew Gibbs would have a chance to say goodbye, as he did. They would confront that soon, then sail off to begin the rest of their “lives”, whatever that may hold, together.

The End.

Gibbs looked around him. He was sitting on grass on top of a cliff looking out over the ocean. He remembered he used to come here as a child and sit in this very spot and look at the ocean and wish he was on a boat sailing somewhere.
“I know you did, that’s why I picked this spot. It gave you happy memories.”
Gibbs looked over his shoulder, a man was walking towards him, a man he thought he knew but couldn’t quite place the image. Memories where slipping in and out of his head, he couldn’t quite grasp them. The man finally reached him and sat down cross-legged on the grass beside him. He gave Gibbs the biggest smile, that smile was so….
“Tony!”
“I knew you’d catch on eventually boss.”
Everything came flooding back to Gibbs the accident, Tony lying in a hospital bed looking so pale, so lifeless. Panic consumed Gibbs. He didn’t know what was going on here but he knew he was dreaming and had to get back to Tony quickly.
“Gibbs I’m right here, it’s okay.”
Tony sounded so calm, so happy. But it was all a dream, he needed to wake up and be with Tony.
“This isn’t a dream boss, well it kind of is I guess, but it’s kind of not. I’m not very good at this am I? Let me start by saying I am the real Tony, I’m not some cruel figment of your imagination that’s toying with you. This isn’t a dream where you see me well and think everything’s okay then wake up to find me still in that bed.”
“You’re not Tony, this is some stupid dream and I need to wake up now.”
“I know you don’t want to believe me but I am really here. I’ve been watching you since the moment I died.”
“You’re not dead, Tony’s not dead!”
“I know it’s hard to believe me. But I am dead Gibbs. The moment I told you I loved you and closed my eyes I was gone from that world. You can’t hold onto me forever, you must let me go.”
“This is ridiculous. I’m dreaming, and I’m going to wake up now.”
Tony looked at him with sad eyes. “I want you do promise you will do something for me when I wake up. Even if you do think this is a dream I want you to do this. It will give you the proof you need that I am not lying. I want you to go to my bank, I have a safety deposit box there with things in it I think you will need. The key should be in the pocket of the trousers I wore today. The bank knows that if anything happened to me I want you to have the contents that are inside. Just go and see for yourself. Then if you believe me I can tell you what’s going on.”
Gibbs felt himself being pulled from the cliff. Part of him wanted to leave, but a deeper part wanted to stay with this Tony, live in a fantasy world for just a few more minutes.

He looked up to see Abby was shaking his shoulder.
“Gibbs you should go home and get some rest, I’ll stay with him a while.”
“Abby where are the trousers Tony wore today?”
“What? Why do you need them?”
“I don’t know really, I guess I’m choosing to give someone a chance.”
“Uhh okay…. I would think the nurse would have them, or would know who does.”
“Ofcourse. Thanks Abbs.”

Gibbs was in his car driving to Tony’s bank. The key was indeed exactly where his dream had told him it was. He choose to believe that he must have seen Tony put the key in there earlier, and must have then dreamt about it. He couldn’t possibly believe otherwise.

He showed up at the bank, and they led him to the safety deposit box. No questions where asked he just showed them his ID and the key and he was led away. He was brought into a room and the box was set on a table for him. Just as the women who led him here was leaving, she turned around and asked “Does this mean Mr.DiNozzo is dead?”
Gibbs didn’t know what to say to that. For the first time he really questioned what he believed. Could Tony actually be dead? Part of him battered the question away, kicking himself for thinking something so stupid. But another part thought it might be true.
The women left seeing she was getting no answer from him today.

Gibbs took the key out, surprised to see that his hand was shaking. He sat down on one of the chairs and opened the box, and gasped at what lay within. Everything was sprinkled with a thin layer of sawdust. The first thing he saw was the coffee beans, and the smell that came from them almost made him drool. He picked up the bag and saw that they were Luwak Coffee Beans, one of the worlds most expensive and rarest coffee beans. He smiled, thinking these would probably even knock him sideways. The next thing he pulled out was dog tags. Written on the first on was simply DiNozzo Gibbs. On the second was “My soul will be forever yours.” He had to pause for a few minutes before being able to carry on. He pulled out a Boat within a glass bottle. It was obvious that Tony had made this from some sort of kit. He hadn’t known the man was so skillful with his hands. He caught himself using past tense and mentally slapped himself for it. The name of the boat appeared to be “Boat of dreams”. He turned it upside down to look at the stand to see Tony’s signature scrawled on the bottom and an inscription saying “I wish one day to sail away with you to the ends of the earth and make our dreams a reality.” Gibbs reached inside the box to pull out the last item. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold the note. He blew of the sawdust from it and began to read.


Dear Gibbs,
If you’re reading this note then something must have happened to me, or I have finally worked up the courage to tell you how I feel and since you haven’t fired me, decided to show you this. But I am expecting it is the former.
I never expected to last so long at this job, and I know that the reason I have is you. You’ve made me feel like I am need somewhere, that I am special enough to deserve a place on your team. I hope I lived up to your expectations, although I’m pretty sure I would have been fired if I hadn’t.
NCIS is like a family to me, more so than my own. This job meant more to me than you could ever know, or maybe you do understand and that’s part of the reason I love you so much. I wish I could have told you how I left before I died, but I guess I was just afraid that you might boot me out or hate me for what I said. Working for you without you knowing how I felt is better than not working for you at all. I think we could have been great together.
I want you to know that no matter what has happened I will never leave your side Jethro. But I also want you to move on with you’re life. I know you will catch the bastard that did this to me, if it happened on the job. But don’t work yourself into the ground like you did with Ari. Know that if I was going to die somewhere, I would want it to be in this job and with you by my side.
You made my life worth living, and I want you to continue living yours for the both of us. Of course I could be saying all this and you don’t feel the same way and wouldn’t that be embarrassing. I think you do though and I need you to know that I have always and will always love you.

Forever by your side
DiNozzo.

Gibbs was crying by the time he reached the end.
“I do love you Tony, I do.”

It took him another 5 minutes before he was able to gather himself together enough to ask if anyone had a bag he could put the contents of the box into, sawdust and all.

He drove back to the hospital far slower than he would normally drive, and he didn’t remember how he really got there anyway. He walked into Tony’s room to see Abby asleep in the same position he was earlier. He heard her mumble “Goodbye Tony”. He walked over and placed his hand on Abby’s shoulder as she was waking up.
“I just had the strangest dream Gibbs, but I don’t think it was a dream. It was so real….”
“I know Abs, I know. Go home and get some proper rest. Tell the others to come here one at a time in an hour or so. I think it would do them good to be in here alone with Tony.”

Moments after Abby had left he felt his eyes getting heavy again and before he knew it he was back on the same cliff as before. Tony was already sitting beside him. He looked over at the younger man and took his hand, then rested his head on his shoulder. Tony placed his head on Gibbs’ and sighed softly.

“I take it you got the box.”
“It was perfect.”
“Spent months agonizing about what to put inside that thing.”
“You’re really leaving aren’t you.”
Tony knew this wasn’t a question but more of a statement that Gibbs needed to say to really confirm it to himself. He squeezed Gibbs’ hand harder trying to give him the strength the older man was going to need to get through this.
“I love you so much.”
“I know. I love you too Gibbs.”
“I was such a fool to not tell you before this.”
“We both were. But at least we have the chance to say it to each other now and not be left wondering.”
“Where are we anyway.”
“I’m not really allowed to discuss much about this. Just no that all the good deeds I’ve done has apparently earned me a chance to say goodbye to my loved ones.”
“So are you an angel or something, coz I got to admit I’ve never really believed in the whole white wings and harp thing before.”
“Oh come on boss you know I’m more a fire and brimstone kinda guy anyway, plus I have the added bonus of a big pointy stick.” Tony said wiggling his eyes at his boss, before he got slapped on the back of his head.
“That’s not really funny under these circumstances Tony.”
“I know but it was worth it to feel you slap me once more boss.”
“God Tony I can’t believe this is real.”
“I know, I can’t really wrap my head around it either yet. I planned in my head over and over while waiting for you what I was going to say, and now that you’re here its all just vanished from my head.”
“I’ll find who did this.”
“I know you will. It’s what you do.”
“I feel like I’m being pulled away again”
“Yea, I think it’s Ducky trying to wake you up. But don’t worry you don’t have to leave until you’re ready.”
“I don’t ever want to leave you.”
“I know its hard Gibbs, but I won’t ever leave you not really. A part of me will always be inside you. I’ll always be right by your side. Can’t really get rid of me this easily boss.
“I love you so much Tony.”
“I love you to.”
Tony lent over and kissed Gibbs, gentle at first but soon with more need and desire. Gibbs returned the kiss in the same way, his own need and desire consuming him. The broke apart and stared at each other.
“You need to go. We’ll be together again, I promise you.”
“I’ll wait for you.”
Gibbs lent over to kiss Tony again, and that is how he left him as he woke up.
“Jethro glad to see you’re back with us. It took some time to finally get you awake.”
“Ducky do me a favour and just sit with Tony by yourself for a while okay?”
“Ofcourse Jethro, where are you going?”
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time.”

Gibbs parked the car near the bottom of the cliff face and walked to the top of it and looked out over the ocean. He looked over wishing Tony was there looking back at him. An icy wind suddenly swept past Gibbs, which was strange for a hot summers day. Gibbs smiled knowing it was Tony reminding him that he wasn’t as far away as he thought. The tension and unhappiness seemed to blow away from Gibbs with the wind. He would miss DiNozzo like hell, and would catch the bastard that did this to him, but he knew Tony wasn’t far away. It was like his presence constantly surrounded him, as if all he had to do was look over his shoulder and there Tony would be waving at him, and waiting for the day they would be together again.

A Doctor walked in with a barely concealed frown on his face. Gibbs head shot up and he rushed over to hear what he had to say. It had been hours since they’ve heard anything and the rest of the team had arrived a while ago after processing the crime scene Gibbs had left them with.
“Is a mister Gibbs here? A Leroy Jethro Gibbs?”
“Yes I’m Gibbs. How is Tony. What’s going on?”
“You are down as his next of kin so if you would follow me into a private room I can explain a few things about Tony’s condition.”
“You can explain to me and the rest of my team what the hell is going on right here right now doctor.”
“I really feel it would be better to explain this to you privately sir. It might be in the best interests of the patient to keep this from his co-workers for the time being.” The Doctor said this to Gibbs in a hushed voice. Gibbs had had just about enough of this man and replied in a low calm voice that made the doctor wish he had sent someone else in here.
“”These… co-workers, as you so delicately put, are like a family to Tony and we feel the same about him. Now you will explain to all of us immediately what exactly is wrong with my agent.”
The doctor noticeably gulped “You may want to sit down for this. Three of Tony’s ribs where broken, one of which punctured the lung. We have managed to repair this damage and re-inflate the left lung. He received bruising and scrapes over most of his body and his left wrist was quite badly broken aswell, which we have managed to set back in place. All this damage is repairable and in time he would be fine but…”
“You said would be…. Not will be… but would be, why?
The doctor looked down and took a deep shaky breath. Then looked back up to deliver the bad news.
“Tony suffered severe blows to the head, first on the windscreen of the car and secondly on the floor of the parking lot. These alone we may have been able to fix and all Tony would have had is a bad concussion but together….. Together they have put him into a coma.”
Gasps were heard throughout the room. Abby started crying on Ducky’s should while he reached to stroke her hair in an attempt to comfort her. Gibbs’ eyes turned an ice blue.
“You doubt he’ll come out of the coma don’t you.”
“I’m afraid to say I don’t doubt that he’ll come out of the coma, I know for a fact that he won’t. The damage done to his head is irreparable. Tony is brain-dead.”
“No.”
“Pardon sir?”
“No.” Gibbs repeated calmly. “No he’s not.”
“I’m afraid to say that…”
“I said no he’s not. He talked to me at the crime scene. I talked back to him. He is not brain dead and he will come out of this coma. I don’t give a crap what your modern medicine says Tony is fine and he will wake up.”
“He may have been able to communicate with you for a short while before he blacked out but he won’t wake up. I know this must come as a real shock to you and I am truly sorry for your lose but Tony won’t ever be waking up again.”
“Stop talking about him like he’s already dead!”
“Sir that’s not…”
“Where is he?”
“Sorry?”
“I’m sorry, am I speaking to fast for you to comprehend? I believe I asked where Tony is.”
“Uh right sorry. If you would like to follow me I can take you to him. Also if you would like a second opinion I will completely understand, but I can tell you now that any other doctor you ask will give you the same answers that I just gave you.”
“I don’t give a shit what any other doctors say. Tony is fine and he will wake up.”
The doctor stifled a small sigh. This was denial at its greatest. In cases like these he knew it was better to accept the truth straight out instead of clinging to the hope that the patient might one day wake up. He hoped some of this man’s friends could get through to him better than he could, because it wasn’t fair on anyone to keep Tony on machines any longer than necessary. It would create false hope to everyone who visited him that there was still a chance. But they could do nothing without the next of kin’s approval, and at the minute it didn’t look likely they would be doing anything for a long time.

The group of people stopped outside Tony’s private room.
“I’m afraid only the next of kin can stay in there with him, for as long as he likes. Others are allowed in one at a time every hour or so. Please make sure no more than two are in the room at anytime. If you have anymore questions just ask for me, Dr. Meredith.”

Gibbs walked into the room Tony lay in, Abby followed him in. The only sign that what he saw disturbed him in anyway was the tightening of his jaw and, if possible, his eyes got even colder. Abby gave a weep and rushed over to Tony’s beside. She grabbed his hand and started stroking it whispering words of comfort to him, trying to convince him, or maybe herself, that Tony was going to be just fine. Gibbs stepped behind Abby and placed a firm hand on her shoulder. He wanted to stand behind her so she wouldn’t see that other one was shaking badly behind his back. Seeing Tony like this caused him such great pain. He composed himself as Abby left and the others came in, in turn. The last to enter was Ducky.
“Oh my dear boy.” Ducky lifted the chart that was attached to his bed and his frown deepened as he read it.
Gibbs sunk down into a chair, not minding to show a bit of weakness to his oldest friend.
“He’s going to wake up Ducky. He has to.”
Ducky let out a deep sigh. “Jethro…”
“The next words out of your mouth better be ones of complete agreement with me, or I don’t wish to hear them right now.”
The silence seemed to stretch on forever, although in reality it was only a few minutes. In this time Gibbs had taken Tony’s hand and clung to it as if letting go would somehow separate the two of them forever.
“How long have you loved him Jethro?”
Gibbs didn’t even tear his gaze away from Tony’s sleeping eyes.
“Since the moment he strode into NCIS like he owned the place.” A small smile appeared on Gibbs’ face, only to be quickly replaced by a frown at the thought that he may never get to see Tony stride into anywhere ever again. No dammit! He would! Tony was not leaving him like this, he would simply not allow it. He had no right to tell him what he had been yearning to hear from him since the second he lay eyes on him, and then turn and leave his life forever. He could not say I love you and not give Gibbs a chance to say it back!
A firm hand appeared on his shoulder, this time it was Gibbs receiving the strength from the hand instead of always having to deliver. It was nice to be able to let his guard down, even if only for a minute. Tony had always been able to disarm him with a single smile sent his way, as if he could see right through his defenses and into the layer he tried to hide from the world. What he wouldn’t give to see just one more smile.
“You need your rest Gibbs. I have managed to convince the others to go home. There is nothing we can do here at the minute.”
“I’m not leaving him Ducky. I won’t leave him alone with people who think he’s dead.”
“Jethro….”
“Just don’t Ducky. He is not dead. He wouldn’t give up on me if the situations were reversed and I’m not about to do it to him.”
“Alright… call if you need anything.”
Ducky shut the door silently behind him. He knew he needed to convince Gibbs soon that Tony was indeed, not coming back. It would be better for everyone all round. But for tonight I think it might be better to let Gibbs live out this fantasy. Tomorrow once the news has sunk in he shall talk to his friend.

Gibbs reached up to stroke Tony’s face, what little of it you could see through the bandages.
“Tony” Gibbs whispered. “Tony… I need you back here with me. You have to prove everyone wrong and come back. I don’t know how to go on without you. I should have told you earlier, much earlier how I feel. Then we wouldn’t have wasted so much time. I was just afraid I’d scare you off, and having you here not knowing how I felt was better than not having you here at all. God Tony I need to tell you how I feel. I promise if you come back I won’t waste anymore time being scared about loosing you. Just please don’t leave me so soon. You’re not dead Tony, I refused to believe it. It hurts to breathe when I think that you might not come back. How could I live if you died? God DiNozzo you don’t have to do this to prove you’re point, I know I should have told you sooner. And if you come back I will tell you, over and over and over again so you don’t ever forget it. I need you Tony, I need you so much please just….”
He composed himself as a nurse came in to check a couple of things. She smiled at him on her way out but Gibbs didn’t return it, because he saw in her eyes the pity for him. She thought Tony was dead too. They were all fools the lot of them, Tony wasn’t dead. He would wake up soon and be just fine. Then he’d laugh at them all for believing otherwise and he and Tony would take off somewhere together and get to know each other personally. His subconscious screamed at him for believing such a fantasy but he drowned it out. Tony was alive. He had to be in there somewhere.

“Please Tony, I don’t want you to go….please….”
Gibbs’ heavy eyes got the best of him and he lay his head down on the table over the bed and went to sleep, still clutching Tony’s hand in his, fearful to let go.

“Tony!!!!”
Tony turned towards Gibbs screaming voice only to see a pair of bright lights coming full speed towards him. The next thing he felt was a blinding pain in his chest and then in his head as it smashed into the windscreen of a car and onto the pavement of the crime scene he was sketching only moments earlier. His last thought before darkness enveloped him was “Gibbs is going to kill me for screwing up his crime scene.” Then the pain was gone.

*Moments earlier*

Gibbs heard the car before he saw it. He was standing in the parking lot questioning what witnesses saw when he heard the revving of a vehicle. He swung round to see a car immerge from the street opposite the parking lot and drive straight through the barrier tape around the crime scene and towards Tony. He spun to look at Tony and questioned why the other man hadn’t heard the car. Then he noticed the earphones in his ears. In the split second this thought took he was running towards Tony and screaming his name. He saw Tony look round and saw the colour leave his face as he noticed the car heading straight for him and most of the evidence. He watched in slow motion as he heard the blood curdling crunch of bones as the car impacted with Tony’s chest and the thump of his head hitting the hard concrete floor. The car swerved and drove out of the exit, witnesses jumping out of the way to avoid a similar fate to Tony’s. Gibbs knew that he should be opening fire at the car or at least look round to grab the license plate number, but all he could think about was getting to Tony. He already had his phone out and demanded an ambulance get her immediately. Now he was on the ground next to Tony, he had never seen the younger man look so frail, as if a single part and he would just break beneath him. His eyes were shut and Gibbs caught his breath thinking that Tony was already dead.

For a split second he just froze, never in his life did he not know how to handle a situation, but this he just didn’t know what to do with. This was Tony’s life that lay in his hands, something so fragile, something he’s tried to hard to protect in his own way. He snapped out of this thought as quickly as it had came on him and gave a sigh of relief as he saw Tony’s chest rise.
“DiNozzo. Tony come on, come back to me. I need you to wake up now.”
Tony’s eyes fluttered open and he looked into Gibbs’ piercing blue eyes.
“I’m sorry boss, I screwed up, I didn’t see the car until it was too late.”
“Don’t worry about that now, just concentrate on staying with me DiNozzo.”
“Don’t think I can…..”Tony had to pause as a coughing fit took hold of him.
“Tony…..Tony come on you’re okay, you’re going to be just fine.”
Tony looked up at Gibbs and smiled. One of his rare genuine smiles that hardly anyone ever got to saw. It usually filled Gibbs with a warmth that no-one else could provide to witness such a smile, especially when it was directed to him. But today it just filled him with an overwhelming dread that Tony was going to leave him.
“Gibbs…..Jethro…. I need you to know…” Tony had to stop again to cough and began again in such a quiet whisper that Gibbs had to lean forward to hear his words. “I need you to know that you mean so much to me….I’ve never stayed in one job for so long and it’s because of you that I have…I love you Leroy Jethro Gibbs…. Always have…. Always will.”
Tony’s eyes fluttered shut.
“Tony…. Tony! Dammit Tony don’t do this to me. You can’t say that and just leave I won’t let you! Tony!!”
The paramedics descended on Tony and began to work. Gibbs stepped away to compose him self. He kept a watchful eye over Tony and when the paramedics put him on a stretcher and towards the ambulance he followed while barking orders at McGee and Ziva to salvage what they could of the crime scene. He leapt into the ambulance ignoring the protests that followed him. He clasped Tony’s hand inside both of his and sat there and looked over the man he loved since the moment he set eyes on him.

TBC

Part 2

Gibbs paced like a madman back and forth in the hospital waiting area. It killed him that this was the only thing he could do. He thought about all of the other things he could have done to help Tony. How they should have figured it out sooner, gotten him out sooner. The last three hours have been nothing short of torture for him. All he remembers is those 4 words, “We’ve got a pulse”. Everything after that was just a blur. He barely remembers the medics rushing Tony to the ambulance, talking about how faint the pulse was but at least it was there for the time being. He doesn’t remember the guard he shoved up against the wall and growling “Find out who the hell done this and tell me their names.” All he can think of is Tony’s face, how lifeless it looked, how unnatural it was to see him this way. Tony was always moving around, cracking jokes. He kept everyone at ease, even when the hardest case came along, somehow Tony made them all feel that it would work out okay in the end, that they would find the bad guy and go home happy. He gave people hope. Gibbs smiled at the realisation of that thought, Tony really did give everyone he met hope. Then Gibbs looked down at his hands and saw blood, Tony’s blood. The happy thoughts of Tony left him and where replaced by his vacant eyes staring up at him, his lifeless mouth whispering “This is your fault Jethro, you could have saved me but you choose not to, you’re work was more important to you than me, I’m not surprised you’ve had 3 divorces, you’ve known how you felt about me for 3 weeks and already you’ve got me killed.”

Gibbs ran out of the waiting room to the bathroom and scrubbed at his hands to remove the blood, to remove the image of Tony staring up at him, with eyes that had lost the faith once placed in Gibbs. Gibbs looked down at his shaking hands and took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself before going back out there to face his team. It was hurting them all not knowing what was going on. The strain of the past 3 weeks showed clearly on all there faces tonight, stress lines around their eyes, eyes red from the lack of sleep. The team looked like the energy had been sucked plain out of them, Tony really had given them what they need to move onto case after case.

Gibbs walked back into the waiting area, the team barely looked up, all of them seemed to be trapped in there own world of guilt and sadness. Gibbs placed himself beside Abby and stroked her hair. Gibbs knew he should be watching over Tony, the nurse had told him there was a window that looked into the theatre if he wanted to keep an eye on what was going on. But Gibbs couldn’t bring himself to look at Tony, not yet anyway. The shock of seeing Tony so lifeless in the prison still haunted him and he just need a little while longer to prepare himself to look at Tony again. Not that he would admit it to anyone but there was another reason he couldn’t face Tony just yet, and that was that Tony might not want him there. Gibbs wouldn’t blame Tony if he hated him, hell he deserved to be hated. But Gibbs just couldn’t quite face Tony’s eyes looking at him in disappointment and hate just yet, as stupid as that sounds seeing as Tony is having surgery and is obviously not going to be awake, the fear of seeing Tony look up at him with loathing in his eyes throws logic right out the window.

The nurse Gibbs had talked to about Tony was one he knew quite well. He had been in this hospital a few times himself, and he also got to know her better when Tony was in here recovering from the plague after he had been moved out of isolation. Gibbs remembered the times he snuck in when Tony was sleeping to get an update on his condition from Nurse Mona. He never went into Tony’s room, just looked through the window, got an update on his condition and left. Every night was the same. So when he seen Mona walking down the corridor which an upset, anxious look on her face he knew something was seriously wrong.

“Jethro… I…..I….just came from the observation window in surgery. I wanted to check up on Tony’s progress, I came in just in time to see him flat line. The doctors were still trying to revive him when I ran out to find you. I heard one of them say that it didn’t look good for him. Jethro I’m so sorry I don’t think there’s anything they can do for him. His condition was just….. Jethro? Jethro where are you going? Jethro!”

Gibbs didn’t hear her calls, he didn’t her his team call after him either, he heard nothing after she told him Tony’s heart had stopped. His own had begun to hurt like no other pain he had ever felt, it was beating a mile a minute. He didn’t know where Tony’s surgery was taking place, he hadn’t worked up the guts to ask anyone yet, but somehow he knew where Tony was. He had always been able to find Tony and this time was no different, he felt bonded to the man and he was not going to let him go like this. Not like this! He would follow Tony anywhere and always drag him right back to where he belonged. Like that time he disappeared when he went undercover as an escaped prisoner, he brought him back then and he will do so again. The irony was not lost on Gibbs that Tony had once acted a prisoner only to become one but he couldn’t give a shit about irony right now, Tony need him to bring him home and nothing could stop him from doing so this time. He’d failed Tony once before maybe if he just brought him back he could begin to make up for the wrongs he had done.

Gibbs stormed into the observation area only to find doctors still working on reviving Tony. Gibbs stopped in his tracks, nothing could prepare him for the sight he saw. There was Tony lying so still on an operation table, and doctors swarming all around him attempting to revive him, so many machines connected to him that are meant to help him and yet there he was not breathing in front of Gibbs. He heard Tony in his head “You’re too late to save me, you’ve killed me Jethro, just like you killed Kate, you let everyone down, you are my boss you were meant to protect me but you failed, I went to jail Jethro because of you and the second I was gone you carried on working like nothing had ever happened, you…”

Gibbs shut the voices in his head, which were threatening to consume him, out and looked down at Tony’s eyes. He pounded on the glass as if to get Tony’s full attention then whispered softly “Tony, Tony it’s me, I know I should have been up here from the start, please forgive me, but I was so scared to see you like this, so scared that you would hate me for leaving you. Tony I gave you an order a while back and that order still stands. You will not die, do you hear me? You will not die. I promise if you come back I will make everything okay, I’ll fix this whole mess just please don’t leave me. I don’t think I can live without you Tony. Tony please, come back.”

With that last whispered plea a faint heartbeat is seen on the monitor, then another, and another, each stronger than the last.

“He’s back with us now let’s finish this up quickly, the surgery is causing a lot of strain on his body we have to close up and soon.”

Gibbs falls into a nearby chair, his eyes refusing to leave Tony’s. He stays with Tony for the remainder of the surgery without once removing his eyes from Tony’s. He stays there even after Tony is removed from surgery and placed in a room somewhere. He knows he should go be at Tony’s side but his legs won’t support him just yet. He hears a voice that sounds very far away, and then feels a hand on his shoulder, shocking him out of his trance.

“Agent Gibbs? Agent Gibbs are you okay?
“Yes sorry I’m fine. What news is there on Tony, what is his condition?

“He is stabilised thankfully, but he has a long journey ahead of him before he will be back to the way he was. It looks like he was taking a beating for two weeks or more at least. There was damage done all over his body resulting in him having a much weakened condition which did not help matters today. He has a dislocated shoulder, which we have managed to correct, his left leg has been broken in two places and will be in a cast for a while now, he has several bruised ribs and 1 broken rib which pierced the lung which as you saw we had to go in and repair. He took several blows to the head by the looks of things so he probably has a concussion, but I doubt it is anything more than that. The things that caused us a lot of trouble was the massive amounts of blood he lost. It was touch and go for a while whether he would pull through or not but it appears he’s a stubborn one. We will obviously be keeping a close eye on him but I think he is out of the woods and after a few months or so should be back to normal physically.”

“Thank you, very much. I think I shall go and see how he is doing.”
“Agent Gibbs?”
“Yes?”
“There is one … other thing you should know about. The only reason I’m telling you this is because you are down as the next on kin. It would seem that Mr.DiNozzo has been, well, raped, repeatedly. As I said he will get over all these physical injuries, but the emotional ones may take quite a while longer. I have the name of a really good person who helps people deal in these kinds of situations if you would like?”
“No, thank you. It’s not my place to accept help for Tony. I shall talk to him and see if that’s what he would like but I won’t make the decision for him.”
“I understand, if you want me to get that number for you or anything, just ask.”

Gibbs left and went to find Tony. The Tony he found was too pale, with bruises on his face, he was covered in bandages, and had machines attached to him, but it was Tony and he was alive and that’s all Gibbs could have wanted. He walked over to Tony and held his hand, being careful not to disturb the wires, or Tony. He just sat and stared, glad just to be able to touch Tony and confirm to himself that he really is alive.

“Tony I’m so sorry, I should have been there for you and I wasn’t, you needed me and I let you down. God Tony I don’t know what I would have done if you died. I need you Tony. I wish I could tell you how much I need you.”
“Need you to boss, always have”
“Bloody hell DiNozzo, when did you wake up? You’ve already given me 2 heart attacks today I don’t need a third.”
“Sorry….boss….” Tony starts coughing, Gibbs leapt up to rub his back.
“Aw Tony, it’s not your fault. It’s me who should be sorry.” He could see Tony was struggling to stay awake, the drugs they had him on were pretty powerful stuff, reminding Gibbs again how close Tony had come to death.

“Do you know why I fought so hard to stay alive? Because I needed to tell you something. I don’t care if I get fired, don’t really care what the hell you do to me or my reputation, just need you to know so I can move on with my life. I love you Boss, have for some time now. There I’ve said it, now just leave me alone… please.”

Something in the way Tony said those words made him look closely at him, particularly his eyes. He didn’t like what he saw. It looked like a part of Tony that always was so happy, carefree and optimistic had died within him. The doctor was right, emotionally Tony was a wreck. That single look in his eyes told him everything, the pain and torture that Tony went through, but most of all the look of hope that has been lost. Even in the worst situations Tony always had hope, but now it seemed as if he had lost that and he didn’t care anymore. Well Jethro sure as hell wasn’t about to let that happen.

“Tony look at me. I love you, I need you, I want you, I always have. I don’t know the details about what happened in that prison but I know it was bad, I can tell by the look in your eyes just how much you have been hurt. You lost your faith in me and hell Tony I don’t blame you for it. But if you let me I will fix this Tony, I promised you I would and I will. I almost lost my chance to tell you how I feel and I won’t make that mistake again.”

“Gibbs….” Tony looked at Gibbs genuinely shocked by what he had just heard. Not just the words but the truth and caring behind them. The way Gibbs had said it with such passion and love, well it’s not something Tony ever heard in someone’s voice before that was directed at him.
“Gibbs….why?”
“Why?”
“Why do you care? I don’t deserve it, you, anything.”
“You must have hit your head harder than I thought to think you don’t deserve someone to love you. You deserve that and so much more Tony and I want to give it to you if you let me. You put everyone before yourself, you hide it behind your humour but I know if it came down to it you would protect everyone else before you thought about protecting yourself. You don’t really show anyone the real you, but I’ve caught glimpses of that person that hides behind the Tony DiNozzo that sleeps with a different women every week, who acts like he never left college, and I like what I see. You are so kind and caring Tony, I don’t know what has happened in your past to think you don’t deserve someone half as decent as you are but you do.”

This speech from Gibbs had brought tears to Tony’s eyes, he didn’t know if it was the drugs that were slowing down his thoughts, or the blunt statement that someone wanted and needed him, truly needed him that did it. His eyes felt so heavy but he wanted to stay awake and not let the nightmare take hold of him again. He wanted to stay by Gibbs’ side and never leave, because then he knew he would be safe.

“Sleep Tony, I’m not going to leave you. Wild dogs couldn’t drag me away. I’ll be here when you wake you but for now your body needs sleep. We can talk more when you feel up to it.” Running his fingers through Tony’s hair he leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips and sat back to see a sleeping Tony with a little smile on his face. Taking Tony’s hand once more in his own, he resumed his position on the hard hospital chairs and settled down for a long night. He meant what he said he would not leave Tony’s side for anything, he just hoped he was enough to help him through the nightmares Tony had to face.

Gibbs stayed true to his word and never left Tony’s side. When he tried to remove his hand from Tony’s he found that Tony would not let go. It was like now that he finally had Gibbs nothing could take him away again. So Gibbs was content to sit there all night and well into the morning until Tony woke up. The team came and went, each noticing Tony’s refusal to let go of Gibbs’ hand, and each smiling secretively at Gibbs’ blunt refusal to leave at there offers to stay with Tony a while.

Tony awoke a while after everyone in the team and come and gone. Gibbs was gently stroking his hair.
“Mmm Gibbs.”
“I think we could move onto first name basis here Tony.”
“Mmm Jethro.”
“Talkative this morning aren’t we.”
“Was having good dream, which I think involved your car, well the backseat anyway, you, me, and some missing clothes.”
“I think we will have to explore that dream further at a later date.”
“Well it doesn’t necessarily have to be your car you know, clothes go missing in a hospital too, could turn into an epidemic you know.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“DiNozzo…” Gibbs growled.
“What?”
“Don’t even get me started. How you feeling today?”
“Like a bloody big truck hit me, reversed, and hit me again.”
“That good?” He could still see a darkness in Tony’s eyes, but it seemed lessened from yesterday. One step at a time, Gibbs thought, one step at a time.
“That good” Tony sighed. “Guess I’m going to be in here for a while eh?”
“The doctors haven’t really talked about when they are going to release you yet, but I’d rather you spent time in here than time at Ducky’s morgue. I really thought I’d lost you…”
“Hey, hey come here. I’m right here, and clearly not going anywhere for a while.”

“I no, it’s just, you came so close, too close.” Gibbs rested his head gently on Tony’s good shoulder, being careful not to lean on any part that could hurt him. Tony stroked Gibbs’ hair and whispered soothing words to him. It’s ironic that it’s Tony who is comforting Gibbs, but at the moment all Gibbs needed to do was reassure himself that this wasn’t some cruel dream and that Tony really was there, then he would work on getting Tony better. Gibbs wasn’t naïve enough to think that Tony would turn back to the way he was before the prison incident, but if he could help Tony get past it and move on that would be enough for him.

The day finally came where Tony was aloud to leave. After Tony had been poked and prodded by all manner of things that the nurses said were “good” for him, it was fair to say that he wouldn’t miss the place.

“Just one more thing Mr.DiNozzo…”
Tony growled, it had been just one more thing for the past hour and Tony’s patience had worn very thin. If Jethro hadn’t been there with a firm hand on his shoulder he would have knocked this man out and left the hospital hours ago.
“I would feel better knowing that you will be staying with someone, and I shall need their name and contact number just incase I need to get in touch with them.”
“I won’t be staying with anyone, I’m going back to my apartment, resting and getting things back to the way they were.”
“I’m afraid I must insist Mr.DiNozzo, the reason we are letting you go so soon is on the basis that you will be getting looked after.”
“I never said any such thing, now sign me out.”
“Well if that’s the case I’m afraid I can’t let you go just yet. You are in no condition to look after yourself.”
“Okay, listen, my patience just jumped out of a 2-storey window, now if you don’t sign those sodding papers….”
“He will be staying with me.”
“No really Jethro, I’m fine and I just….”
“He will be staying with me.”
“No honestly….”
“Very well, I shall just get the papers now.”
“Jethro really I don’t need….”
“If you could just sign here Mr. Gibbs to state that we are releasing him into your care.”
“No you’re not releasing me into anyone’s care….”
“Certainly”
“Might as well have a conversation with a bloody lamppost for all the good this is doing me. The lamppost at least would listen to what I’m saying”
“Hardly likely, the lamppost would have more sense than to listen to you.”
“Gibbs! I’m NOT staying with anyone, I am perfectly able to take care of myself.”
“Oh really?”
“YES!!”
“Okay then.” Gibbs sets a pen on top of a shelf. “If you can give me my pen back, then you can stay on your own.”
Tony wheeled his chair over to directly underneath the pen, then reached up to try and grab it.

“Ow bloody hell!” His ribs and shoulder cried out at him straining to get the pen.
“Now where is it I am to sign?”
Tony grumbles under his breath but Gibbs distinctly heard “bloody show off, doesn’t prove anything, stupid pen.” Smiling to himself Gibbs grabs the wheel chair and gets Tony out of this place. He was as eager for Tony to leave as Tony was himself. He knew if the situations were reversed he would be doing the exact same thing, insisting he was fine and didn’t need anybody’s help.

After a few moments of struggling he finally got Tony into the car. Even this tiny bit of exercise wore DiNozzo out and it wasn’t long before he was asleep on the ride back to Gibbs’ place. Gibbs knew it was going to take Tony a long time to get back on his feet. He got tired very easily, and movement was very difficult for him. But the important thing was that eventually he would get back on his feet. None of the damage physically done had been permanent, it was just going to take time to heal. Gibbs glanced over at the sleeping Tony and grabbed his hand. It had become a ritual thing for them. He always found that Tony slept better when he knew that Gibbs was close by. Already Tony had settled into a deeper and more peaceful sleep.

“Tony……Tony……Come on Tony open those big eyes of yours for me”
“Mmph”
“That won’t quite cut it, I need you fully awake.”
“Mmmmmmph!”
“DiNozzo do you think I’m stupid? I know you’re awake now don’t make me drag you out of this car and into that house.”
“Mmmm that could have interesting results”
“What is it with you and cars DiNozzo” Gibbs mumbles not intending for Tony to hear it.
“They make me feel safe. You can just get in a car and drive away and leave everything behind. Not many things you can do that with.”
Gibbs looked at Tony in shock. A blunt statement like that was not something you usually heard from Tony. Tony was still pretty out of it from all the drugs they have been giving him, and from just waking up, but still to stay straight out what he was thinking is a rare thing. Gibbs smiled, he might be beginning to feel more comfortable around him.

“Right DiNozzo wake up!” Gibbs started kissing Tony, his tongue demanding entrance into Tony’s mouth, just when it was clear that Tony was really beginning to enjoy himself Gibbs pulled away and walked off a little.

“Gi-Gibbs!! That’s not fair you can’t start something and not finish it. Get back here!”
“Ha knew that would wake you up Tony. I thought we were onto first name basis here.”
“Force of habit, it just feels weird to call you Jethro. Ducky calls you Jethro and he would most definitely not stick his tongue down your throat. At least I hope he wouldn’t. You know what I don’t want to go there. I have completely just freaked myself out. Now would you get back here and finish what you started like a true gentlemen, kiss me senseless!”

“Not yet DiNozzo, not yet. But I might begin using that as your wake up call.”
“No wonder your nickname includes the word bastard.”

After getting Tony settled on the sofa, Gibbs goes to make some proper coffee. Not that brown sludge they have at the hospital. They wouldn’t know what good coffee tasted like if it came and slapped them on the face. Hearing his phone ring he went to answer it.

“Gibbs….Hi Abby…..Yeah he’s hear with me now….no not today, he’s pretty worn out after his trip from the hospital, but you can drop by tomorrow and see him….Has there been any word on Chip….okay let me know if something turns up…..the sooner we find the bastard the sooner I can get my hands around his….. no I’m not going to cause any permanent damage…..yes I know you want your hands on him to……we’ll go half and half……okay see you tomorrow, bye Abs.”

Gibbs walks in to find Tony staring at him curiously.
“What?”
“What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know damn well what I mean, what have you been keeping from me? Why were you asking about Chip?”
Shit Gibbs thought. He hadn’t told Tony about the fact that it was Chip who did all this. He was a bit curious as to why Tony never questioned him about how he got him out of prison, but didn’t want to bring up the subject until he thought Tony was ready.

“I’m sorry Tony, I just didn’t want to tell you this until you were feeling up to it. I wanted you to concentrate on getting better.” Gibbs sighs “It was Chip who planted all the evidence against you and who landed you in jail, I don’t know how he got you transferred like that but I intend to find him and make him tell me.”

“Ha…Chip….I always wondered who he paid to do his dirty work for him” Gibbs wasn’t sure he was meant to hear that. The look that suddenly appeared in Tony’s eyes and the sound of his voice scared him. God knows Tony has the right to hate Chip far more than anyone else, but the pure venom in his words and his eyes so filled with hatred that they looked almost black didn’t make any sense. His eyes looked like they were ready to kill, and that’s what scared Gibbs the most. Tony wouldn’t harm a fly, but the Tony before him now wouldn’t only kill the fly but would do so in the most painful way possible. The hate he saw in Tony was the kind of hate that is built up over a long period of time, it couldn’t possibly be directed at Chip. You could almost feel the hate being radiated of Tony.

“Tony…..Tony can you hear me…..Tony, honey, please come back to me.” Try as he might it was as if Tony was trapped in his own little world and Gibbs couldn’t break through.
“Tony….please….” Gibbs gently and slowly so as not to scare him, leaned over and kissed Tony.
The darkness in Tony’s eyes faded, as he looked in shock at Gibbs, instead it was replaced by a deep sadness and pain.
“Are you okay?”
“Y-yea, s-sorry about that.”
“Tony you’re shaking!”
“I-I’m okay. Really.”
Gibbs pulled Tony over carefully so that his head was resting on his shoulder, and he began to run his fingers through Tony’s hair. He had always marveled at how soft it was.
“Tony, what did you mean; I wondered who he paid of?”
“You weren’t meant to hear that.”
“My hearing is almost as good as yours DiNozzo.” Gibbs chuckles, trying to lighten the mood, but as usual failing miserably. Words were definitely not his strong point.
“Tony, tell me what you know.”
Tony sighs, “That’s one hell of a big can of worms you want to open there.”
“We have forever, you might aswell start now.”
“Jethro….”

Gibbs can’t see Tony’s eyes but he knows they have tears in them, he can hear the pain in his voice, which is cutting through him like a knife. All he wants to do is kiss him better, but he knows Tony needs to get this out no matter how difficult it might be.
“Chip didn’t do this alone. There is no way that he could ever have got me transferred, especially to Baltimore Prison. You would need someone with a hell of a lot of power and certain contacts to be able to do that.”
Gibbs wants nothing more that to question Tony, to ask him straight out who that person might be. Instead he just sits and strokes Tony’s head, occasionally, gently kissing the top of it.

“It’s someone I’ve known basically my whole life, he’s hated me right from the start and trust me the feeling is bloody mutual. He’s really had it in for me ever since I denied a job he offered me. After that any job I had, there were … “complications” I guess you could call them, at each one. This person would throw their weight around so to speak, and next thing you know, “voila” I’m out of a job. Sure, they don’t directly say “You’re fired”, because they know I could take them to court over it, but they would make my life a living hell if I didn’t leave. So at each job, after about 2 years maximum, I left. It was the same everywhere I went, until I came here. This has been the longest I’ve ever managed to hold a job, but I know now I never should have stayed here so long. Staying in one place too long allows him to track me down. I’ve learnt that the hard way.”

With each word said Gibbs anger was growing, but he tried to keep a clamp on it for Tony’s sake. He knew Tony needed to get this all out. That he has been dieing to talk to someone about this, but no-one has ever given him the time of day, let alone listen to his past. The false mask of “goofiness”, the macho outer shell, was all beginning to make sense in his head. Tony didn’t want anyone knowing who he really was, or where he came from. He didn’t want anyone finding out how badly he has been hurt in the past, because that would make people treat him different out of pity. Gibbs has had it happen to himself on several occasions until he learnt to stop giving too much away. He hadn’t realised Tony has gone through the same thing.

“I loved this job so much, I didn’t want to have to leave, so I stayed longer than I should have. He always finds me, no matter what I do, he always finds me, he won’t go away…..” Tony’s voice which was barely more than a whisper before, trailed off into nothingness. It was so child-like and innocent that it teared Gibbs up inside to just sit back and listen. With his final words Gibbs couldn’t take anymore.
“Who is “he” Tony?”
“Its’…it’s…..” Tony glanced down at his now ringing cell phone and saw the caller ID “….my father.”
“WHAT??!!”
Tony showed Gibbs the cell phone and the caller ID “My father” he repeated.
Already Gibbs could hear the detachment in Tony’s voice, whatever chance Gibbs had of learning who this bastard was, may have just gone. Gibbs felt Tony pull away from him and cursed, then stood up and left Tony to have a private chat with his father.

Gibbs heard yelling from the living room and ran in the see what the problem was.
“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE HAVEN’T YOU DONE ENOUGH ALREADY? STOP SCREWING WITH MY GOD DAMN LIFE!”
With that the phone went flying across the room and smashed into a nearby wall breaking into several bits.
Everything clicked into place for Gibbs, he was pretty slow for not having picked up on it sooner. He blamed the lack of sleep and worry for Tony.
“It’s you father you were talking about isn’t it?”
“Yea… yea it is.”
Gibbs sat back down on the sofa and helped Tony lean over to relax on top of him.
“Tell me everything.”
“If I tell you, you’ll just leave me like everyone else has. Every time I start to tell my story people go all glass eyed, nod in the right places and then leave before they get in too deep. No-one wants to stick around to take care of a poor screwed up guy.”
“I meant what I said Tony, know that I’ve got you I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you go because of your past. We all come with baggage Tony. Our past help make us into the people we are today. God knows I’ve got enough baggage to sink a ship. I won’t ever leave you Tony, I swear.”

I was a while before Tony said something again.
“My father beat me up as a kid. I needed to be perfect for him, he said I had to grow up to be the perfect business man to be fit to run his company. He wouldn’t see his company killed by some ignorant kid. So if I ever did anything wrong I knew what would happen to me, he would take me to my room and beat me. As I grew up I started to try and fight back, I wanted him to stop hitting me, but that just made the beatings get worse. One day I snapped and screamed at him, and starting throwing things at him, telling him that I never wanted to be his son and I don’t care about his stupid business. That was the first day he raped me. After that it became a regular thing. I did something wrong, he would beat and occasionally rape me. I couldn’t break free of the cycle. I started to try and be perfect like he wanted to see if he would stop, but he didn’t. Nothing was ever good enough for him. Finally when I was 15 I fought back. I was sick of it all, I just wanted to stop, I didn’t care anymore what he would do to me I just wanted to hit him back to show him I’m not a little kid who’s going to sit back and take this anymore. Did a good number on him too. That’s when I got sent of to boarding school. He said he couldn’t stand to look at my face a moment longer.”

“Didn’t your mum….?”

“Yea she knew what was happening, but she didn’t care. She was just happy to live of my dad’s money. I very rarely saw her actually, she was always out shopping or doing something, never had the time for me. I was raised more by the staff, that by my own parents. I went straight from boarding school to college, where I did the course I wanted to do and not the one my father had picked out for me. I was already enrolled and well into college before he thought to check what degree I was actually doing, and by then it was too late to change it. He really thought that I would do the plan for my life he had set out. That’s what makes me laugh even now, that he thinks I’m still going to follow in his footsteps, that this is all just a very long teenage rebellion. When I went into law enforcement he near had a heart attack and I guess you know the rest.”

“Aw Tony….”

“It’s okay I’ve learnt to deal with it. Didn’t really have any other choice but to learn how to cope with it, but what happened to me in prison just brought all those memories back. I know you know I was raped in there.”

“The doctor told me just after you came out from surgery.”

“He visited me in there you know. Offered me a deal to get me out. I had to sign a contract stating that I would carry on his business after he died and he would use the only evidence there was that would free my name. But guess you found something else didn’t you.”

“Yea Abby did. A bit of Chip’s sweat got onto the carpet fibre he pulled from your car.”

“I owe Abby a big Caf-Pow for that. You know he’s dieing. My father that is. All the smokes finally caught up with his lungs I guess. That’s why he did something this drastic because he’s running out of time. They can’t cure him so he needs to know that I’m going to follow in his footsteps. That’s what the phone call was about. I won’t do it thought, I won’t become like him.”

Gibbs couldn’t think of anything to say. All the information he had just received was so hard to process. That Tony had gone through all this and turned out to be such a great caring man was something he should be so proud of. He still felt anger, and later that anger would be vented preferably into a Mr.DiNozzo senior or Chip’s face. But for now he just felt an overwhelming desire to protect Tony and keep him safe from all the dark memories that were going through his head at the moment.

“I think it was him who got Luke moved to my cell.”
“Luke?”
“Yea a rapist I took down in Baltimore. One of the first people I took down there actually. He had a personal vendetta against me ever since I caught him. He managed to vent that rage when I was in there I guess.”
“Tony…… I wish I could make all the painful memories you have go away but I can’t. Only thing I can do is help you deal with them. And I will Tony, in whatever way you need me I am here for you, for as long as you want me to be.”
“Just by being here you’re helping me. I just need to feel cared for….”
Tony started silently crying, and Gibbs held him there all night while he cried himself to sleep, and even then held him while he slept to keep the nightmares at bay. About 3am Gibbs fell asleep, both of them didn’t move and inch, each content that they were exactly where they needed to be.

The end....should be a sequel at a later date!

Tony lay on the hard mattress thinking about the moment it all went wrong for him. He supposed it started about the time Gibbs walked in and told us to grab our gear we’re heading to Quantico. It was there we found the leg of a woman. It all went rapidly downhill from there. Tony sighed and tried to shift into a more comfortable position but his ribs cried out at him to stop.

Flashback

“Gibbs I didn’t do it you have to believe me, I swear I didn’t do this!” Tony cried out. They were alone in a spare interrogation room. If Gibbs didn’t believe him then Tony would lose all hope and fall into that black hole that’s been threatening to swallow him up ever since he turned out to be the prime suspect in the murder case.

“Tony I know you didn’t do this, but if this went to court now you wouldn’t see the light of day for years. You know I’m doing everything I can to prevent this but with the FBI breathing down our throats and Madame Director doing nothing to help, you will eventually have to go to custody with them until we can figure out what the hell is going on.”

“Boss if I go in there I wont come out I can feel it. I just know that I’ll lose everything my job, my friends, my Gucci shoes!” Silently thinking to himself he didn’t really care if he lost all those things because he knew if he went to jail he would lose the only important thing in his life…..Gibbs.

“Don’t panic Tony, look at me, Look at me!” Gibbs tilts his chin up to stare into those deep hazel eyes. “I will clear your name DiNozzo I swear to you.” He saw some of the fear leave Tony replaced by something he hadn’t seen in many people, a great faith and trust in him. Why the hell DiNozzo seemed to trust him with his very life was beyond him, after all he had lost one good agent who trusted him with her life, and it was possible that he was going to loose another. Thinking of Kate still hurt, but the anger and guilt that used to go with that pain was beginning to recede.

“Excuse me Agent Gibbs, I have to take Tony into custody now. It’s only a formality I assure you.” Gibbs watched as Tony slowly got up and began to walk away from him led of by Fornell. Gibbs couldn’t help feeling his gut was telling him that Tony wasn’t just walking away from him here, but was also slowly walking out of his life too. But Gibbs being who he was, was not about to let that happen without one serious fight. Whoever was doing this to Tony was going to find out what happened to people who hurt someone he loved and also why people said the second B stood for Bastard. You could almost feel sorry for the person who was going to the fullness of Gibb’s wrath. Almost.

Present

It’s hard to believe that was only 3 weeks ago, thought Tony. It felt much longer to him. He knew Gibbs was trying to come here as often as possible, but traveling up to Baltimore prison wasn’t something he expected him to do very often. He looked to the opposite cell to see a familiar face grinning manically back at him. He tried to suppress a shudder but couldn’t quite hold it back. He had at first, he had refused to let them all see that he was bursting to the brim of fear inside. But soon he felt his braveness, like all other emotions, die away within him. He felt like his very soul was dieing. He knew, even if he miraculously managed to get out of here, that the Tony DiNozzo everyone knew and loved, the few of them there are Tony muttered to himself, would be lost to them forever.

“Lights out”

Left in the darkness once more, with only his memories of Gibbs to comfort him, he could even pinpoint the exact moment he gave up hope.

Flashback

“DiNozzo you have a visitor, get your ass up here now!”
Tony, relieved for the excuse to get away from all the prying eyes in the yard, most of who belonged to people he had helped put away during his time as a Baltimore Cop, ran up the stairs to the awaiting Guard. He was led into a room where he got the biggest shock of his life, across the table sat his father. It was then that the stone dropped and he realised what the hell was going on. For across the table sat his most hated enemy.

“Tony I hope you are keeping well, it is such an unfortunate incident this wouldn’t you agree?”
“Father, I should have known, I really should have. It is so obvious that you fingerprints are all over this. The move to Baltimore Prison, of all the places in the world, it was Baltimore. No-one else could have got me moved. I never should have been moved in the first place, but you and your bloody “contacts” seen to that didn’t you? The impending court date being so soon, usually there would be months and months to wait, but no mine is next week! God I’m so stupid, how I could not have realised this was you is beyond me.”

“I shall neither confirm nor deny those accusations, but I will say this. I have the only evidence that will clear your name son, I know we haven’t gotten on in the past but we should put that behind us now, your life is at stake here and you know that aswell as I. For god sake look at yourself, you’re a mess. I can see they did not waste too much time getting round to beating the crap out of you for putting them in here in the first place. If you get tried and found guilty you won’t last more than another week in here. Let me help you and then this can all be over.”

“Help me, you want to ….help….me…. Well that is something you don’t hear everyday now isn’t it? You get me thrown in year, sorry, sorry, not YOU personally but we all know that you’re behind this. You know that I will die in here and so you offer the only evidence to free me but my question is at what cost?”

“You’re a smart boy son, I always knew that right from the beginning. You’re right Ofcourse I do want a small favour in return for me helping you, but seeing what is at stake is your life I hardly see you are in any position to refuse me. I want you to sign a contract stating that when I die you will take over my company and run it according to the rules stated in the contract. If you do sign the contract and then decide once I am dead that you won’t fulfill the terms then you shall go directly back here, and we all know what comes after that part don’t we?”

“I knew this was coming, for 15 years know you have been on at me to run your bloody company, which makes money by killing other peoples businesses, forcing people out onto the street, the usual crap that goes with a git being in charge of things and using his “influence” to get what he wants. You really think that I want to be the next face of that company, you think that money and sitting in a fancy chair is what I really want from life? I loved every job I’ve ever had, each town I was in grew to be my home until you came along each and every time and tore down what I had built. After all you have done to me, what you did when I was a kid, what you are doing to me now, you still think that the lust of money and power will pull me over to your side. You’re pathetic really, when will you get it into your head, I am not you, I have never wanted to be you, and I am no son of yours!”

With that said Tony stood up quite calmly went to the door and told the guard that they were quite done here.
“Tony you walk out those doors and your ticket out of here walks with you……Tony…….TONY!!”

Tony had already left and was striding down the corridor to his awaiting cell. But inside he was dieing just to crumple down on the floor and cry and never leave that spot. Because he knew now that the team would never find anything, his father was better than that. He truly believed that his father had the only evidence to free him, but he would not sell his soul just to be a free man. Tony lost all hope he ever had, and from each passing day a little bit of him died inside, until eventually he knew there would be nothing left inside him but a hollow shell. Ofcourse he could die first Tony thought to himself….that cheered him up rightly.

He got back to his cell and eased himself slowly onto the bed, his ribs were severely battered and it hurt even to move at the minute. He woke up sometime later to find someone prodding his shoulder. He thought to himself oh crap Gibbs has found me sleeping on the job again… I wonder why I feel asleep this time… This train of thought which was leading rapidly to a Gibbs Tony make-out was interrupted by a punch to the stomach.

“What the hell?” Tony bolted upright only to grown in pain at his ribs protesting loudly.
“It’s been too long Tony, far too long.”
Tony knew that voice, it had been haunting his dreams for years after he caught the serial killer. Cold dread washed over him as he looked up into the eyes of the rapist he had brought down in Baltimore, the man who had sworn revenge on him no matter the cost. Cheesy as it had sounded at the time it scared the crap out of Tony after what he had seen the man do to his victims.

“My dear, dear Tony, I’ve prayed for this day for far too long. It must be fate that landed us in the same cell.”
Fate, Tony thought, fate or one very pissed off Father whose reach knew no bounds.
“We are going to have such fun you and I, I hear you will be in here for quite some time. Your know, the guys in here just aren’t as much fun as the guys I met out there.”
“The guys you met, raped, tortured and finally killed you mean, you sick son of a bitch.” In his head Tony was chanting Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, it seemed incapable to comprehend anything else.

“Aw Tony come on now is there need for such rude name calling. We’re all adults here and as such should act like one. You can start by laying yourself back down on your bed, incase you haven’t noticed the lights are off for the night, and you know Tony the night is when I have my most fun.”

Tony tried to think of a way to get out of here, he thought of screaming for help, but how could he do that every night? Maybe he could overpower Luke, but in the battered condition he was in he could barely overpower kitten never mind the bloody giant who was now looming over him. Tony was quickly running out of options as Luke got sick of waiting and threw him down on the bed.

Present

He had considered telling Gibbs about his fathers visit Ofcourse but then a lot of other crap would have to come out aswell. And since he knew there was no way he was getting out of here anytime soon he would really rather not have to do the whole screwed-up childhood story while starting out a window full of bars.

His life in prison was getting into a repetitive nature. The days spent staring out at the sky hoping that a meteor would come and knock the prison down and he could just dander out, hop into Gibbs’ car and promptly proceeding to ravishing the living daylights out of him. The nights were spent trying to fend of Luke, but his attempts were futile and his body was steadily getting weaker and weaker. All it would take now was one good beating and he would be gone.

It happened in the showers. 3 men jumped him, from his much weakened condition there was barely anything he could do to fend them of, and in seconds he was on the ground. He was beaten until there wasn’t an inch of him that wasn’t screaming out in pain. Two men where hold him down while the third landed blow after blow on his body. He recognized the man hitting him, he had thrown him in here in his 2nd year as a cop. He felt his ribs break after a kick to the chest left him winded. He struggled to get enough air into his lungs but was having serious trouble. A blow to the head left his vision blurred and he could feel himself being dragged under and forced into a deep sleep.

This is it he thought, several thoughts ran through his head, but the one that took dominance was of Gibbs. Tears welled up in his eyes at the thought of never seeing him again, never feeling the contact of the slap to the head, never feeling the tingling on his skin when Gibbs crept up behind him. He had always known when Gibbs entered a room just by the affect it had on his skin and his pulse. He wish he hadn’t been so scared of telling Gibbs how he really felt, how much he loved the man. Now he would never get a chance. As sleep took him a single tear ran down his cheek at the thought that his love for Jethro had been denied to him.

NCIS- hours before Tony’s attack.

Gibbs had never truly earned the second B than over these past 3 weeks. They had been the longest, darkest and hardest of his life, and he had not had an easy life that was damn sure. Everyone knew after the first day Tony had been moved to Baltimore that anyone who got in Gibbs’ way was likely to need medical help after he was through with him. The only one who dared cross his path was Ducky, but eventually even he learned the lesson to stay clear of Gibbs.

He tried to visit Tony as often as he could but it was hard with all the cases they were getting. The second one was finished another would pop up and Gibbs’ team would be the ones that had to handle it. One would think the director was overloading them purposely but he didn’t have the time to deal with her right now.

He knew Abby was working all out to try and find something, anything that could help Tony. He watched helplessly as his team lost the flare they once had. It was as if Tony was the stitches that held everything together, and now that he had been torn out of their lives everything was just falling apart around his feet. Himself included. He had never realised before how much he had depended on the younger man, but it was becoming more apparent that he had grown to rely on Tony’s gentle caring nature to get him through the day. He had known he loved the man the second he saw him walk out that door in interrogation. It took all his strength not to run after him and drag him back into the room and lock the door, and god help anyone who tried to take him away. But he let him go, ignoring his gut feeling that he missed his final chance with Tony, trusting that his team would find something, anything to get Tony out of this mess. But they hadn’t.

Days went by, and then weeks, and still they hadn’t found anything. He went to visit Tony a week ago, and it was like the life had been taken clean out of Tony’s eyes. The spark that was what made the younger man who he was had died, and Gibbs wanted nothing more than to kiss the man to death to help bring it back.

Walking into the lab with a vague hope that something had turned up, he found Abby sleeping on the desk. He stood and watched her for a few minutes. She had lost the most out of his team during all this. She no longer believed that the forensics would always lead her down the right path. She started to question everything she did. He knew that nightmares kept her up at night, nightmares that the evidence she had giving has wrongfully put many other people in jail, people who don’t deserve to be there like Tony. He walked over to her desk and stroked her hair.

“Abby come on wake up.”
She woke with a start, wide eyes that now looked like they were constantly on the verge of tears looked up at Gibbs.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep again.”
“Don’t worry about it Abby, here I brought you something to drink. Is it warm in here or is that just me?”
“It’s not just you I turned the heat up a bit in here in an attempt to stay awake, I guess it didn’t work.” She watched as a drop of sweat from Gibbs landed on the table.
“Sweat” she murmured.
“What?”
“Sweat!! SWEAT! That’s it! How could I not think of this before?!” Abby raced over and grabbed the fibre that was found on the legs. “I can test for sweat. The killer must have carried this fibre around to plant it on the body to frame Tony since it matches his car. Sweat could have dropped onto it, or cigar residue, anything that says that it didn’t come from Tony!”
“Well what the hell are you waiting for Ab’s? We have to bring our boy home and soon!”

*later*

“Gibbs I found sweat on the carpet fibre I can pull DNA from it and run it through to database and see who the hell has been messing with my Tony.”
During all this Chip started to sneak out to the elevator. He knew it was his sweat on the carpet fiber and he also knew when a good time was to make his getaway. The past 3weeks had been pure bliss for him, with Tony out of the picture it was like living on cloud 9. But they were soon going to see his name pop up and he didn’t want to be in a 100mile radius of Gibbs when it did.

Baltimore

Gibbs had got here as fast as humanly possible. The name had come up as Chips and as soon as he found the little rat, well it’s probably not polite to mention what he had in store for him. Lets just say it involves a dark alley, a very pissed of ex-marine by the name of Leroy Jethro Gibbs, and a set of pliers. He rushed down to Tony’s cell to find it empty.
“Where is he?”
“H-He was here the last time we checked, sir.”
By this stage Gibbs had taken all he could handle. He pulled a gun on the guards.
“Where the hell is my agent” he said calmly. The men’s eyes widened in fear, a quiet Gibbs was much more dangerous than a loud one. Even if these guards didn’t know Gibbs they could see the look in his eyes and it was one that said find my agent quickly before I put this bullet between your eyes.
“W-w-we’ll send out the guards to t-track him down s-sir.”
“You do that” whispered Gibbs.

Gibbs found a naked Tony in a pool of his own blood. He rushed over and felt for a pulse. Nothing.
“Get an ambulance!” He was too late. He left him here too long, he knew this would happen, he should have stopped this, he should have found this evidence sooner, and now all he can do is hold his dead lover in his arms.

Medics rushed in and Gibbs was pulled from his feet, wracked with guilt and pain Gibbs fought to get back to Tony, all he could see was Tony, if he just held him one minute more everything would be okay, he just needed to hold him again, just needed to tell him he loved him and Tony would wake up and tell him the same thing. It took 4 guards to hold him back and another to repeat over and over “Sir you need to let the medics work, sir it’s out of your hands now.”

It finally got through to him. It’s out of your hands now. It’s out of your hands. For 3 weeks it was in his hands, Tony’s freedom sat in his hands all he needed to do was find the key to let it out. But he didn’t, he let it sit there for 3 weeks while he worked on other cases. Sure in every spare moment he did everything he could, but he let his cases take priority over Tony and now Tony payed for his mistake with his life. He could never live with himself now. Nothing should ever have taken priority over Tony. He stood and watched as people he didn’t even know pounded at his lover’s chest. All he wanted to do was shove them aside, tell them to sod off and just sit and rock Tony, just like he was only sleeping. A tear slide town his face as it finally sunk in, Tony was gone, he was in front of him not 2 paces away, but he was further away than he had ever been from Tony in his life. He couldn’t reach out and touch the glow that was once Tony, couldn’t stroke his hair and tell him how foolish he was not to have realised his love for the man sooner. Now all he could do was stand and look down into Tony’s vacant eyes and realised that his love for Tony has been denied a chance.

As the tear hit the ground someone shouted out “We’ve got a pulse!”

Chapter 5

“Right, first we should try his cell, it’s possible he took his phone with him.”
“To get ice, Jack!”
“Yes, Danny, to get ice.”

*Ring Ring*

“Okay, so he doesn’t have his cell.”
“Look I can’t just sit here , like I did the first time, I’m going to hunt the bastard down and kill him. Anyone want to join me?” Danny grabbed his gun and followed Tony out the door.
“Dammit, DiNozzo.” Gibbs follows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You love him, don’t you?”
“Wow, dejavu.”
“What?”
“Gibbs asked me the exact same question.”
“Well what was your answer?”
“You don’t need to know, all you should know is that I love him but just want him to be happy.”
“Well, we have to find him for that to happen.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Martin woke up with a pounding headache.
*Where am I?* Martin slowly opens his, only to squeeze them shut quickly.
*Oh god, I won’t try that again* Martin could hear the murmur of a voice through the wall, focusing, he heard,

“I’m in town, for a bit of business, I should be back in home soon. Don’t worry I’m fine, better than fine, actually. See you soon.”

Martin blood ran cold, hearing footsteps coming toward his door, he feigned sleep, but could not suppress a shudder at the breath against his ear

“Martin, baby, I won’t wake you up from your little drug induced sleep, just yet, I must go out, but I will wake you later, so you won’t miss all the fun.”

When martin heard the door shut, he braved the pain and opened his eyes. After a moment of adjusting he was able to see he was lying on a bed, but that he was not tied up.
Standing, with great difficulty, he left the bedroom and entered what appeared to be the living room of a small flat. Seeing the cell phone on the coffee table, he immediately phoned a number that he knew so well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where do you think you are going! You don’t have any idea where your going, how do you expect to help him if you get caught yourself, I mean you both saw the note.”
“We can’t just abandon him, boss.”
“I don’t want you to abandon him just put some thought in to what your doing.”
“Gibbs, your right I mean I do this for a living we need to find everything out about this guy.”
“To hell with this, I’ve been through this before we don’t have enough time for that.”
*Ring Ring*
“Gibbs… a needle, Abby… We’re coming up. They found a needle it appears agent Fitzgerald was drugged.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*4 hours later*

After hours of discussing the best course of action, Danny stepped outside to take a breather.
“You love him, don’t you.”
“Oh my God, Viv, could everyone stop asking me that, I think it’s blatantly obvious by now that I do, I mean you people call yourself investigators and you can’t seem to pick up on the fact I have been in love with him since the first moment I meet him.”
“I knew, Danny I just needed to hear you…”
Danny fished his vibrating cell out of his pocket.
“Taylor…Martin, where are you…”
Vivian went back into trace the call.
“Are you OK?...We’ll find you, Martin, I promise…No, it’s not hopeless…I love you too. Oh my god you’re saying good bye aren’t you, there will be plenty of time for that later…Martin, are you still there.”
Suddenly the dial tone sounded loudly in Danny’s ear.

Re-enetering the room, Danny asked, “Please tell me you traced that, we were cut off, I can’t be sure why.”
“We have a 5 block radius which certainly narrows our field.”
“That is assuming this guy doesn’t move Martin.”
“That takes time, so lets just hope we get there first Agent Gibbs.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I love you, Danny, always have…”

“I see you found my cell phone, Martin, now you see that’s not very nice, it is only polite that a guest asks to use his hosts telephone.”
Martin grabbed the corner of the sofa for support, he could feel his legs give way underneath him. “I hardly think I can be called a guest after all you have once again kidnapped me.”
“I have done no such thing, I have merely brought you back to where you belong. Now, it’s obvious you’re tired lets get you back to bed, while I pack. After all, we can’t have them finding us now that we’re finally together.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Our suspect appears to own a property in the area, a flat, number 3A.” With that Gibbs walked out.

On their way to the flat Danny must have broken every traffic law there is, even Gibbs was seen to be gripping his armrest

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Right, Tony, Magee and I will go through the front door, Jack you and your team go up through the fire escape, we’ll try and box this bastard in OK. Let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Martin, baby, I’m sorry about tying you up but after your little stunt with the phone, I have no choice, I don’t want you running off on me, do I now. Come on, stop being awkward, lets go…”

There was a loud crash as the door was forced open. “Let Martin go, You fucking Son of a Bitch.”
“Now, that’s not very nice, after all I’m just trying to protect Martin from the likes of you.” Suddenly a knife appeared digging in to martin’s neck. “ Now you see I don’t want to have to do this but if I go down I will take him with me.”
“Drop your Weapon.”
“Nice to see you could make it, Special Agent Gibbs. Oh don’t looked so shocked, Of course I know who you all are, Special Agent Magee, a pleasure.”
Gibbs clicked off his safety, “I’m a ex-marine sniper I recommend you drop your weapon, now.”
“Sorry, I’m afraid I can’t…”
A gunshot rang throughout the room and Martin and James fell to the floor.

Danny dropped his weapon and rushed over to Martin.
“Martin, are you OK, Oh my God your bleeding, someone get an ambulance!”
“He’s bleeding, Oh my god, I’m so sorry, we should have…”
“I’m fine, you two, the knife nicked me on the way down, it’s no worse than a shaving cut. Really. Thanks everyone by the way I knew you’d rescue me, although I do feel a little like a damsel in distress saying that.”
“Maybe but your my damsel in distress.” And with that Danny grabbed Martin and kissed him hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Airport - D.C

“I’m very happy for the two of you Danny, you make a cute couple.”
Danny smirked, “Thanks, by the way so you still want to know what I said when Gibbs asked me if I was in love?”
“Yes, of course, I’m an NCIS agent, naturally curious.”
“I said, I could say the same about you, and I don’t think he meant Martin. Good luck.”
And with that the New York Missing Persons agent grabbed Martin around the waist and went through the departures gate.

Taking a risk, Tony walked over to Gibbs, “You know what, I love you too.” And left. Gibbs followed closely behind.

The End