:: Smile, though your heart is aching ::

Hello!!!!!!!!!!! I'm back for good this time!!!!! I swear!!! *hears crowd roar*

Ok, so I finally FINALLY got DSL. Which means I'm back for good. That's right people. I am about to comment 3 months worth of updates....or at least I'll try. OH! I almost forgot....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

A bit late, but who cares?? May 2006 bring you joy and happiness and love and health and also money. And luck : ). I hope you had a really great new year, as fun as mine!

I decided to make a new account. As I told Venetia earlier I don't exactly have a specific reason. I just felt like it, probably being the new year and all, and me being sick with lusse_121. So people, start adding......

0cean_breeze      0cean_breeze     0cean_breeze    0cean_breeze    0cean_breeze   0cean_breeze

I intend to keep all the people on my f-list. Unless you feel that we don't really have anything to talk about anymore, or that too much time has passed, then just feel free to not add me.

There's a much more detailed update over there too(Belgium, new year resolutions, school, airports...)

So farewell lusse_121, and farewell 2005!

k that was a bit dramatic but ignore it.

One more thing, if you have read this entry, please comment.That way I know when I can delete my account once and for all

I'm getting a bit sick of these entries where I go : "Heeey everybody! Long time no see"

I wish for everyday updates!

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Well I just had a 4 day week-end and it's endin' today. Ho hum.

On sunday I went to visit my family and it was so weird! It's been so long since I've seen them that I don't know why but I got the feeling that it was strangely weird seeing them. I suspect that it was just me because they seemed fine. Maybe it really is just me. I really miss my cousins and they really seemed distant. I hope this'll change by the time Christmas comes because that would be beyond sucky if it didn't.

Yesterday I went out with some friends for Halloween. We didn't really do much ; just went to see a movie (Monster-in-law. It was just a tad crappy I'm afraid. I wanted to see Corpse Bride very very badly but they didn't want to so I was outnumbered. How sad.)

If I were another person and I had the unfortune to be in the same theater as me and my friends I would beat me up. I felt real sorry for the "people" (there were 3 old couples and a young one) who were in the theater with us but we had such a laugh. We later went to Villafranca, and everybody was there, with egg supplies. This one person REALLY PISSED ME OFF and I kinda spent the whole evening turning it over my head as I do with everything, but I'm fine now.

It was really really fun! People were throwing eggs at every bus that passed ! One bus for instance, saw this huuuge crowd and rapidly turned around to go for another way but ohohoho were they ready for that. They aaaaaaalll moved to the end of the road so he wouldn't escape. God it was so funny. Picture your whole school running towards a spot and you watching from the sidelines. Then you'll get a picture of what I'm talking about. It was filled with many little incidents with different buses, but the thing that topped it all was the local police van speeding towards us, and people were already running to the park you know, where they figured they'd be safe and sound. And then BAM the van goes on top of the field and starts chasing them!! People were FREAKING OUT. I had to go at that moment though, as it was quite late.

And today I stayed home, rearranged furniture in our new house, and did homework.

I think it's testimonial time. I don't recall ever doing them *tries to remember*. Don't think I did. So please! Go ahead!

Woke up at 14.00. I'm so tired.

I did nothing all day except watch TV, mainly Desperate Housewives. Bree fascinates me. I also saw "Super size me" which really freaked the crap out of me. And I saw the 1953 version of "Titanic" which made me laugh. Tis really crap.

Yesterday after school I was with Laura,and suddenly we started freaking out because these huge clouds were moving freakishly fast and suddenly it was raining so fucking hard that we got wet in seconds. It was like I had literally had a bath with my clothes on. She was worried because her mom was really late, and then this lady I take the bus with everyday came and we waited and waited for the bus. And then my bus came...so we started telling Laure to go inside the building, phone her mom and stay there until it stops raining, and she insisted on taking the bus, so we both turned and saw that the bus was leaving! So we started running after it soaking wet and it didn't stop. And then guess what? Her mom is right behind the bus, so we got in, chased the bus and then stopped the car right infront of it. So it was a close call. We would have had to wait another hour in the pouring rain.

I feel really crappy and lonely.

I've just put my feet on the ground, and they are completely numb from cold. It's bloody freezing

Starting to get in Christmassy mode, which is quite sad really, because it's October. I watched Love Actually 3 times this week-end, I really really like that movie. Makes me feel cheery.

I was really worried about work and stuff, especially after a little chat in class about it and I just felt sort of blocked, go figure. But turns out I have full marks in Biology and I passed Maths, barely. But I passed. So it encouraged me to work this afternoon, and I got some stuff done for the rest of the week, which is always always a plus. And tomorrow we're having the class picture taken. Something that's always always funny in this school. The bathrooms are always filled with girls trying out smiles and putting on lip-gloss. I want to go : STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know exactly how I'm going to smile : Mouth closed. Sweet and simple.

Fer called me again today, and he called me again yesterday( By the way, everytime I hang up I have these wonderful spazzes : I start running up and down this hallway I have and my dog runs behind me barking like it's Christmas) Anyway, Adriana's hosting the "Halloween" party she did last year, where a little event happened with Fer, so I said I wouldn't go because I just know it'll be all uncomfortable and stuff, and I really don't feel like spending a night like that. So I just simply don't feel like going. And then she started to argue going : "Nonononononononon my little pally you are mistaken for you will barely see him because I will invite loads of guests! And besides if you don't go it'll be like you're letting him "win""

 And I go "Waaaaah?? Hold your horses you horse holder, I am not in the crush with him(something I keep repeating to them but we all know what's true and what's not true muahahahaha) + The fact that I don't feel like going has nothing to do with shame or embarrasment, it is because I simply do not feel like spending a whole night being uncomfortable with him, + we've just started really talking and I really enjoy talking to him and don't want sort of make it uncomfortable AGAIN (didn't say this last bit, I didn't think of it at the time) And she went all "Baaah it's all in the past etc etc" so now I really don't know if I should go or not. Interesting.

+ Laura said something that reaaaaally pissed off. But I shall not reveal it at the risk of sounding like a stupid school girl, something I fear I already have done, but ah well, ho-hum, life's good and all that jazz.

Watching the whole of "Lost" Season 1 again and I LOOOOOOVE IT. Along with Desperate Housewives. They're both LOOOOVE.

I've got this song in my head now : All I want for Christmas is Youuuuuuu and you, and you......

I'm coooold.

Hello my chums. I'm deffo back now. Back back. Because I don't have the crappy phone line internet that goes really slowwwllllyyy. I have the one I've always had. Which is very very nice, let me tell you. Because now I can finally get off my chest some things I've wanted to put on LJ for weeks and weeks. Because I realise that I sort of kept it all bottled up and I don't usually do that, because I have LJ, and then I get wonderful comments that make me feel better. But this was not the case so I'm HAPPY now :D. But I also must say that 9th grade is really all about hard work, and sometimes I just won't be able to go on LJ : ( :( :(. Which is sad but that's what week-ends are for, also. See now, for example, I was really eager to be able to visit my forums+websites+reply to all of my e-mails+LJ that I toooootally didn't really concentrate on work today. Which is kind of bad because I'm going to be so deep in shite tomorrow but I very surprisingly don't care right now.

My God I look at my icons and I really must refresh. Go shopping for icons and stuff.

Ok I have so much to say that I must put it in a LJ cut. There are many categories actually : Fer, Divorce, New house, MASS confusion.

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HELLO TO ALL!

So. Yeah. Long time no see. So much long time I can't believe it, seriously. I'm actually writing this from school because I have no internet at home, because I HAVE MOVED!!!!!! I'm in a new house, new room and all that jazz, so I am not dead, you can breathe again. And I'm sorry I didn't give any warning, which sucks but now you know. I kept freaking out because I was scared you guys were thinking I had left LJ. So I expect I'll have internet soon, whenever the guys who install it stop pissing me off, which should be soon. I hope. I miss you all! OOh and I keep writing LJ entries in my head but then I remember that I have no LJ at all *sobs*

I'm sooo sorry about all the unread entries *sobs quietly* please forgive me and my new home. I love you all, and now I must dash because the teacher is giving me funny looks, God knows why.

TITANIC IS COMING SOON *GRINS AT IVANA AND AT VENETIA, WHOM BY THE WAY, SHE MISSES TERRIBLY*

Well that's it. I'm officially moving right now. I'm surrounded by boxes and boxes and more boxes. It's so weird. It's weird to think that last year, at this time, I had just come from Belgium to this house.

God this time of the year is weird. I said it in a recent entry : I've realised how much I've changed. How much things have changed. How much life has changed. It's incredible, and next year I'm probably going to be thinking the same thing! Thinking : "Wow. So many things have happened and changed either the way I think or feel. Life's like that isn't it? It's wonderful, in a way I guess.

I went out today with Maria and some of her friends. They were nice, we went to watch "Red Eye", which I quite liked. Then when it was like 9.00 or around there we went to this park, lay on the grass and we just looked at the stars. And I had one of those moments where you think everything is just so right, life is beautiful and you don't want the moment to end. Well it did end unfortunately, by a large burp that this guy did. Which sounded so funny that I giggled in spite of the moment : P

Eva's been acting so distant lately. And she told me she was sorry if she was sometimes acting all bitchy on me, but she just didn't realise it. I reminded her of the talk we had a week ago, because she was all worried because she had changed, she was always so fun and now she thinks she all cold and distant. I told her that we all have our moments, and many other things but I can't remember now. Anyway she's been distant for quite some time now, but then in the cafeteria she was all bitchy, because some teacher had forced her to take a salad, so I told her I could eat a bit of it, and she said no. But she was all serious and for a moment I thought she actually had tears in her eyes so I reached out the fork and she shoved it and looked all bitchy. I just left it there and went on talking with the rest and then she suddenley gets up and goes to sit at the end of the table. Turns out that she was mad for a reason, and she told us and we told her to actually listen to what she was saying because she was being ridiculous etc.

And then Maria told me that her mother had Hepatitis C. And I started freaking out. Her mom could die. So we went over there and starting singing this really crappy song and acted silly and kissed her cheeks and she was smiling but she was still a bit on the glacial side. I hope she's better now : (. I'm worried about her, I wish I could help her but I can't tell her I know, and I wouldn't start the subject anyway. I have to think of a way to let her know that I'm there for her without being too obvious.

Again. I have not been updating daily, I know that. Don't know if it'll change. I simply don't feel like updating. I do read my f-list though....and sometimes comment *hides guilt*

I've had a pretty normal week really. I don't have too much work but the fact that I keep doing work that's for later in the week, which kind of keeps me alive. Because we have a large amount of work, unfortunately.

I'm officially confused with Fer. Like now, he talks to me and everything, he sort of tickled me today. Not like all hands, just that one finger thing that goes on one spot and you just sort of twitch. Well he did that. Which was nice. Yes well anyway and we just laughed so hard at the Lab today too. But then, fool like I am, I sometimes forget my glacial and frosticiality plan and joke normally, and he goes all frosty. And then I go all frosty. And then we sort of melt sometimes but then go back to ice-cubeness. I wonder for how long I'm gonna have to keep this up.

Tomorrow's friday! MY GOD TGIF! I'm going to watch the Emmy's, which they air again. And then on saturday I'm going to sleep over at Maria's, after having spent the day with all the gang. But anyway I saw Veronica Guerin the other day, and it touched me to the core. I was crying non stop at the ending. It's amazing. I can't believe I've never heard of her before. She did such a memorable thing and caused so much change that I was just so shocked and touched. Cate Blanchett is genius, tbw.

I must go to bed. My eyes are drooping. Pray God tomorrow at school ends fast, so many things going on and I just want to leave them, somehow. I wish I could have my Belgium life back.

Have just come back from the town party thingys. It was so much fun, but it sucked that I had to be back by eleven. Honestly. *sighs*

There was this ride where you stayed upside down for like 30 seconds! All the blood was rushing to my head and then suddenley WHOOSH!!! It turns and turns 2 times in a row. I thought I was going to die right there, HA!!!

And we bumped into Adriana, Fer, Guillermo and Alex. Adriana started talking to me as if nothing had happened, which was weird and unexpected, so I just talked back. I told Maria about it and she just said to just leave it, and not bring anything up. We didn't see them that much anyway ; Just when they went on the ride that stays upside down for 30 seconds and also in this ride that's all cages and turn and turn in mid air, which is also quite cool, incidentally. Then we just lost each other. Ah well.

I saw the new GOF trailer. It's beyond awesome. Though wtf is Sirius's head BEING the fire? That's not the way it was supposed to work!. But aside that I lurved it very muchly. Along with the "Corpse Bride" press conference *smiles like an idiot*. OH!! And Johnny's got his hands at Mann's Chinese theater show!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH YAAAAY!!!!!!

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Must do homework tomorrow.

Must drink now.