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Instead of beating the dead horse beat your meat!!!!!! 👍👍❤️🌹

sometimes you really do just have to burst into tears about it. and then it's literally fine

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

Can I have everything I want in life by tomorrow

best thing a guy can do is be a nerd

Guys… we have to do the main quest at some point

brought nothing to the gun fight, and everyone is really embarrassed for me. they keep trying to hand me a knife or a really big rock but I tell them I am not a charity case and die immediately

quicksaves in front of you and doesnt even do anything its just to make you nervous

you only like me for my radiant personality :/ you're only here because you love to see my smile :/ you only want to hang out with me because you know we're both so much happier knowing each other :/

the summer I turned evil

I get so crunk off that apple juice

im literally so lovable

I’m lying i actually need super emotional sex where somebody fucks me slow and tells me how special i am lol

guilt-driven obsession & obsession-driven guilt