Pinned
Reminder that this is a cop hating blog. This blog is for cop haters only. If you don’t hate cops, block me and go lick boots somewhere else!
This stands now more than ever.
[image discription: banner reading "bootlickers don't interact" with two black boots on each side of the sentance. end id.]
thought too hard about MRI machines today and had this come to me in a vision
mri accident is literally one of my biggest anxiety freakouts. i dont care about being in the tiny loud tube, im so scared of a secret piece of metal i dont know about in my body will tear through me like a knife through butter. what if i ate a quarter in my sleep
Quarters George who eats a $10 roll of quarters every night is shredded into a fine mist my the MRI
TIME TO POST ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE IMAGES!!!!
Back when I worked at the hospital, I had to take MRI training and it was my favorite thing every time. It was only like 10 minutes long and went a little something like this:
Hey. The MRI is basically a really big magnet and by basically I mean it is and we literally never turn it off. It's like really big. Really really big and powerful and The Magnet is always on. We don't turn it off Ever, for any reason. We mean it bro, The Magnet is literally always on. It's crazy strong and will definitely kill you. So don't bring any metal into the MRI room, man. You will fuck up the machine (because The Magnet is always on) and then you will die (again, because The Magnet is always on). Here's some fun questions for you to test your understanding!
1) The ______ is always on.
2) The Magnet is ______ on.
3) How often is The Magnet on?
4) The Magnet is always __.
5) The Magnet is always on. T/F
6) The Magnet is usually on but we know to turn it off for you because you're a very special boy :) T/F
7) My weak fleshy body can survive the wrath of The Magnet. T/F
8) Look at this 500 lbs steel hospital bed, which The Magnet has crumpled into an origami crane. Imagine if that was you.
9) Is The Magnet ever off?
10) Sometimes we turn The Magnet off. T/F
Thank you for taking MRI training. We hope you learned that The Magnet is always on, because it is. It's on Right Now and it will be on every time you come to the MRI. Have fun and remember: The Magnet is always on!
I love you MRI training. The Magnet is always on.
today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring
Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?
we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation
So after extensive interrogation I have an update:
she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions
she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?
she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.
gosh I enjoy this website
For comparison, this is a daffodil
See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.
i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)
Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???
This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.
This is a marigold:
….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u
Josh Johnson in Charlotte (posted 4/21/26)
here's elvis dying
Checking in periodically that the Ianto shrine still exists, and usually finding evidence via posts by people in Cardiff confused at learning it's a memorial to a fictional character who died sixteen years ago and not like, a memorial to a real person who drowned. It's a testament to the Power of Stories blahblahblah but is also such a preposterous thing to exist. That loser Sherlock Holmes only has one plaque at Reichenbach Falls so I think it's clear Who won Superwholock
How it feels to get complimented on a new outfit you were nervous to wear in public
Yes we've all experienced "Foot in Mouth" but what other body parts are found within the mouth? "Eye in Mouth" as we experience the vast sensorial potential of the oral orifice? Hand in Mouth as a declaration of silence before action? Nose in Mouth to realize the deep connective fibers of the gustatory and olfactory sense? Phallus in....[I am torn asunder by an unseen attacker of terrible strength]
to put your foot in your mouth is to commit a verbal social faux pas through speaking too freely. this gives us our baseline definition for future experimentation.
the "eye in mouth" is just "your eyes were bigger than your stomach": you have allowed your greed to blind you to what you should reasonably take
"hand in mouth" is i think the clearest opposite-synergy with the original. commit a social faux pas by refusing to speak when you could have. by trying to maintain a principled silence you have made the situation worse.
"nose in mouth" i'm gonna be so real i dunno how to work with this one, perhaps because my sense of smell is vestigial?
phallus in [i am forcibly escorted off the stage by a big hook from behind the curtain grabbing me by the neck]
this just happened on my dash…
it happend again
How can you hate on cookies though?? Like, in any form?? They’re FUCKING COOKIES BRO!!!
don’t let the anti-moreos guy see this either
wait for it he has sources
hi
he’s here
hell yeah im here and im ready to whoop your substantially corrupt minds back into fucking place
You’re like 15 dude you ain’t about to whoop anyone’s ass
I have the power of skeleton memes on my side, what do you have? tom hiddystan? bendelick mumberdun? doctor when??? yeah
This is literally the most beautiful post on Tumblr
doctor when
the worst extremely low-stakes consequence of societal fatphobia is when a low-calorie/""""healthy"""" recipe is actually good and suddenly everyone thinks you're sharing it as a diet aid and not because it fucks hard
anyway put some frozen raspberries in a bowl and pour just a leetle bit of cold oat milk over it and the oat milk will semi-freeze into a kind of ice cream texture. and now you have fake raspberry ripple ice cream that's 90% raspberries by volume
Also shout-out to the Swedes for just borrowing the French "adieu" into their vocabulary and just spelling it "adjö"
German has borrowed the italian "Ciau", spelling it "Tschau" and only using it as a goodby instead of also a greeting.
I had completely forgotten about this, this is fantastic.
If you enjoyed "ciao" becoming "tschau", you'll definitely want to hear where "tschüss" (German, also meaning "goodbye") comes from!
Borrowed from German Low German tschüß from earlier adjüs, from Dutch adjuus, back-formation from adjuusjes, from French adieu.
We can't let the French keep getting away with this
I mean the french very much aren't getting away with it. Everyone else is taking their language and running off with it cackling with glee. We're all getting away with fucking up french words on purpose
#English loves french so much it steals the same fucking word a few centuries apart so it gets two words that have the same meaning#But different spellings -#Like guarantee/warranty#(aside: There was a w/g shift so you can see if the word showed up with the normans or got nicked later#Which is why for e.g. the english call it wales and the french call it pays de galls)#Catch/chase#Gender/genre
I'm so glad someone reblogged these additions while I was away from my puter, I absolutely love doublets (or twinlings as they are apparently called as well!! That's so cute!!)!
Fandom shit is just straight up not fun when everyone interprets everything in the worst possible faith and acts deliberately obtuse for the sole purpose of getting mad online
