lizzy_a06

So this guy just came into my life not to long ago, like I told people, someone is always willing and able to help you and listen I think I found mine :)

He is coming to visit me Saturday Im so nervous and excited it will be out first time meeting face to face! eek! wish me luck! haha

Everything In my life, for the most part, seems to be going great :)  I'll have to go into detail later.  But right now I cant since I dont have internet so I'll try and get active again later hope everyone is doing well!

Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman's love-it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are Her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you too, no matter how you've acted out no matter what crazy thing you've done, no matter the time or demand. If you are Her man, she will talk to you until there just aren't any more words left to say, encourage you when you're at rock bottom and think there just isn't anyway out, hold you in her arms when you're sick, and laugh with you when you are up. And if your Her man and that woman loves you-I mean really loves you?-She will shine you up when you're dusty, encourage you when your down, defend you even when she's not sure you were right, and hang onto your every word, even when you're not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say You're no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she done to convince you she's The One just isn't good enough.

That's a woman's love-it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstances.




You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female".

I havent posted in awhile!  So most of my classes have a shit load of online requirements and get my luck! My charger on my laptop just stopped working like last week!

UGH so now I almost never have internet because I cant charge my laptop and the disk wont install anyway for my internet at my new apartment.  I'll have to catch up with people later but i might be gone for a couple of days still

Hope everyone is good!

After having that mini episode, I finally decided enough was enough and to go out and make friends and just enjoy life :)  I met some girls from a sorority (...no not those bitchy type ones that are mean to people) and they were so nice and welcoming!  Since it was the first week of school a lot of local new stations were there and they were asking people to interview so I jumped on it the girls thought I was crazy they were to shy but I was like FUCK IT I'LL DO IT :D ha so I was on tv ahahah again.

They invited me to a party for one of the sisters, empty apartment, DJ and kegs, so I went, it was crazy! Played beer pong won 5 games in a row with my awesome teammate Tony

I did not know a SINGLE soul there I had just met the girls the day before....I was talking into the DJ mic and made tons of new friends :) exchanged quite a bit of numbers and proud to be able to be this type of person that is able to be through in a environment where you know no one and make it a positive fun time =]

Yay for not being shy!  I think this is going to be a good year :)

"sometimes things fall apart for greater things to fall together"
"I will forgive and forget....forgive myself for being so stupid and forget you ever existed"
"When your ex says 'you will never find anyone like me' and you reply 'that's the point' :)"

A familiar darkness surrounds the room

Aroma of pain and agony fills the air

Hopelessness and disappointment washes over her body

 Drowning her in its sorrows

Looking at the picture of the ones she loves

Knowing she will never achieve what they think is possible for her

She picks up the object to set her mind free

Inching it closer to her head

With every inch her heart races

Faster

Stronger

A sweet sensation of the end is near

Its sweet sound echoes in the air

And then…

Darkness falls.

Please help me

I can’t get out!

The words spoken to me entangle around me as if to strangle me,

To bring me down,

To degrade me…

Please help me.

 

No compassion is shown here

The voice only convinces me further I am not worth it.

 

Should I trust in it?

It knows me well,

My thoughts

My desires

My secrets

It knows me…it knows me better than anyone else.

 

Please help me.

Please save me from this voice

Please save me from…myself.

Talk about story of my life for me heh, probably the thing that puts me down the most, myself! Bed time its 1am and I have class and work tech today thur now

Always count on you

 

Why hello my constant companion!

Your company filling my body with warmth and acceptance

Reassuring my decisions when others bring me down

I can always count on you.

Hello my constant companion!

You always make me feel welcomed

Even when we fight you embrace me in your arms

And tell me everything is going to be alright

I can always count on you.

Hello my constant companion!

You make me feel like I’m never alone

Always telling me you’ll be by my side

“It’s you and me baby”

I can always count on you.

The times get tough, life is harder

Someone else has come to accompany you now?

Hello my constant…

Where did you go?

I need you more now than I ever did before

I thought you said…

I can always count on you.


Looks like im just on a poetry thing now for a bit haha

A spark, a flame.

Growing continuously fueled; its blaze grows!

Its heat fills the room, bringing warmth all around

Dancing, illuminating the world with its wondrous light

The flames dancing wildly out of control

The shadows swaying creating magical illusions when reaching its peak!

…with nothing left; nothing to keep it ablaze

The flame slowly starts to dwindle down

The heat no longer filling the vast hole with its beautiful warmth

Slowly its flames, its heat, is diminishing back to nothing.

…just a spark.

Last night the rain drops fell like a storm

Washing away all things left behind

Clearing a path for new things to come

The storm was not made by nature

But by my tears.

Tears of anguish and agony

Pain and suffering…

Confusion.

But you will never know,

And you won’t find out today.

Right now I feel emotional pain

Morphing into physical pain,

My head pounding like the drums

My back aching, my eyes hurting

Shutting themselves from the rest of the world.

But you will never know,

And you won’t find out today.

Worrying is surrounding me

Mocking me with its songs

Knowing the compassion from others I would not get…

A broken record playing over and over

But you will never know,

And you won’t find out today.

Thinking of all the reason why to keep this in

So I’m not like everyone else

So I don’t show weakness

So you will not feel this

But you will never know,

And you won’t find out today.

But I will keep this smile on

And that is all you’ll ever know…

And all you’ll see today.

A poem I wrote while with my ex, I pushed my feelings aside for him.  To help him with his life only to get it all thrown back in my face :).