One year

It's been a year today when dh died. It's been an .... unsettling ... year. Hopefully 2012 will be more settled.

Besides, I have a bunch of Chrolli stories to finish writing :)

hospitals

Dh is in the hospital .... again... this is the 4th time since early September.

I don't think he's coming home this time.


  • Current Mood
    sad sad

(no subject)

I re-read some of the comments I've gotten over at the no-limits archive. It's sooo nice to know someone thinks I'm doing the right things.
  • Current Mood
    sad sad

missing


I miss Christian & Olli.  Not the episodes, they're still posted in the VL threads on the GayDayTime boards  but writing their stories. My husband's hasn't been doing well the last few months so when I 'm home, I can't concentrate on the stories without getting interrupted. And a "wait a minute honey, I just need to finish writing this" just won't go over well. Besides, just the interruptions makes the story go POOF! I've managed to get one or 2 short (really short) stories, or chapters, done but those are the ones I do stuck in traffic or distracted at work.

I want my Christian & Olli time back.
  • Current Location
    hospital waiting rom

A year?


I didn't realize it's been that long. I've put stories up over at the NL archives and got included in the  HOE awards  too :) :)

I've got 4 Chrolli stories still in the works, and one or 2 more sort of percolating in the background. I've got a pretty good idea of where they're going but writting them out is..... well, it isn't. It's not writer's block exactly, I don't think. I have ideas, so that's not writer's block. It's more of a brick wall keeping the words in and I can't find the door. Someone once told me that years ago when I wasn't as talkative as usual (and I'm NOT that talkative to start with)

I know - because it's happened before - it'll blow over sooner or later. I also know it's seasonal - not SAD (for one thing, it's not winter here and for another, it's not usually weather realated - summer/fall have the anniversaries of a few family deaths, and even though it's been nearly 9 and 13 years (...wow...) some years it just hits like a ton of bricks (what is it with bricks?)

It's even starting to be a problem for me at work - I do a lot of writing at work, and it's been harder than usual. My boss hasn't noticed yet really because the deadlines haven't come up yet, but I am behind on drafts for a few things and I've GOT to get one (fairly short) document done soon - it was supposed to be yesterday, but well it's not.

I know websites & forums & groups are fluid and come & go - I've been on them for nearly 15 years in one way or another - and I think 4 -5 years is about the limit before they sort of start to dissolve or whatever. I read the excerpt from the Gays Of Our Live Vlog (it sounded like the full Vlog was spoil-ery and I didn't want to hear any spoilers) about the uncertainty of VL's future. On one hand, it's a soap so no big surprise. On the other, it's been one of the, if not the best, group I've participated in. Maybe it's too soon to be thinking about it, but I'm really going to miss it.


 


Story updates


I post about my stories everyplace except my own LJ page. These are all finished and I don't have any new ones started (yet...) 

(All links to the NL-fiction archive site. All stories are based on the Christian & Olli story line from Verbotene Liebe)

After Classes - turned out to be a MUCH longer story than I ever expected it to be. And to me, it was sort of a 'story on demand'  - comments to one chapter ended up influencing/driving the next chapter/s- more than I remember happening with other stories.

A New Drink - Art imitating life. I learned what a body shot is when I went on vacation this month. And now, Christian teaches Olli.

After the Surgery - there was a 'make a wish' in the NL-fiction site about Olli's surgery last summer - what if he couldn't talk afterwards. I wrote about 1/2 the story before I went on vacation, and the rest on vacation without any comments/input after each chapter. I posted one chapter while I was on vacation when I used the hotel's business center, and except for changes to the last chapter, the chapters I wrote on vacation 'isolated' from comments & feedback, are pretty much unchanged from what I first wrote and I didn't really expect that. I sort of expected to do re-writes.

We've Done This Before - Christian & Olli had a fight earlier this month. When I was watching the clip, it was soooo similar to the fight they had before Christian's boxing fight last summer, this sort of wrote itself.

The First Time - This is a multi-issue challenge. Sort of. There's a 'make a wish' about Christian's first time, uh, "receiving" Olli.  I saw the challenge, thought it might be interesting to try, but got caught up in other stories amd didn't do anything with it. Then it became a topic of conversation over at the Gays Of DayTime Verbotene Liebe Fanfic Thread with a nudge'ing type comment for more stories to answer the wish. During the course of conversation, it was pointed out that none of the stories so far had Olli asking. I hadn't noticed, but it was true. I was thinking about it, and there wasn't much difference in "Christian asks, Olli agrees" and "Olli asked, Christian agrees" and I wasn't really all that 'oohh, I want to write this!" excited about either of those. But... if Olli asks, Christian could refuse. That got me curious. Why would Christian refuse? That story I wanted to write. So  I did. (I guess it came out ok, because it's my first 5-star story at NLfiction! )