so this just seemed like another good time to update some feelings...
so i was just thinking about how scared i am that i'm getting married. it has nothing to do with the actual marriage, the ceremony, or anything like that. it simply has to do with the fact that i found someone so wonderful and i'm scared it will be taken away.
chris is unlike any person i have ever met. right now i'm sitting across the room with him with my hair greasy and pulled back (i never pull my hair back because i look stupid, but we just showered and i wanted my hair to stay as dry as possible). i'm wearing pajama pants, no bra, and no makeup. i'm not exactly a pretty looking princess. so i'll ask him how i look and i'll type exactly what he says...here goes..."good why". he has no idea and seems confused. i'll ask him to elaborate..."why????"...ok he's on to me...one more time..."sexy". why he thinks i'm sexy is beyond me.
he loves me with all his heart. he doesn't care what i'm wearing, what i'm doing, or how stupid i might look to him. he loves me anyway. most people think that these kind of people don't exist, maybe only in novels or daytime television, but he's real. he's seen me in some pretty horrible situations and yet he smiles and continues to love me. i'm not trying to make people jealous or offend anyone with this entry. i just want to put some of this into words.
they say you know when you find "the one". you just know. well, whoever "they" are, they're right. you do just know. it just sort of happens. i'm not sure if he actually knows how wonderful he is, but i love him so much. he does these stupid little things that he knows make me smile, like when my head hurts, he knows if he presses his cold finger under my nose it feels good. or how he always brings me up a drink without being told. some people you need to beg for that kind of service.
and still i'm scared. he won't cheat on me, he has no reason to. he wouldn't be able to hide it from me. hell, he only had my engagement one minute in my presence and he had to give it to me. he just can't keep things from me. i don't think he'll fall out of love. everyday we have together is fun and different. we just don't get tired of each other that easily. i guess he could die. that would be horrible. if anything ever happened to him i'm not sure i could go on by myself. he is such a rock for me. right now i'm so depressed about a lot of things, and he's there for me. he listens to me bitching at least five to six times a day. without him, i'm not sure i have much left. he's so much a part of who i am right now.
we have our moments where one of us wants to throw the other down a flight of stairs, but we're in love. that's scary. love is scary. but i guess as the new martina mcbride song says, love 'em anyway. it can't hurt you to love someone, it only hurts to loose that love. chris is my best friend, my lover, my partner in crime, my best shopping buddy, and my family all rolled into one cute, and hairy, package.
so i'm not really sure what this entry was about, and chris is too busy watching "naruto" or whatever to notice what i'm doing, but i did it. i posted to my journal. this is a long time coming. i haven't really gotten and urges or whatnot in a while to update, but here i am!!!
in other news i don't have a job as of yet and it sucks. oh well. my wedding is set for june 7 2008. 06/07/08 kind cute huh? i'm busy planning that. i still have my horse vinnie. and i'm still teaching at candy apple even though i'd rather have a place of my own. my family is good. chris' family is doing good.
i'll come back and update soon i hope. have a good day everyone! i love you all!!!!
ps i hope this made some sense at all!!! :)
pps I MISS JENNY!!!
chris is unlike any person i have ever met. right now i'm sitting across the room with him with my hair greasy and pulled back (i never pull my hair back because i look stupid, but we just showered and i wanted my hair to stay as dry as possible). i'm wearing pajama pants, no bra, and no makeup. i'm not exactly a pretty looking princess. so i'll ask him how i look and i'll type exactly what he says...here goes..."good why". he has no idea and seems confused. i'll ask him to elaborate..."why????"...ok he's on to me...one more time..."sexy". why he thinks i'm sexy is beyond me.
he loves me with all his heart. he doesn't care what i'm wearing, what i'm doing, or how stupid i might look to him. he loves me anyway. most people think that these kind of people don't exist, maybe only in novels or daytime television, but he's real. he's seen me in some pretty horrible situations and yet he smiles and continues to love me. i'm not trying to make people jealous or offend anyone with this entry. i just want to put some of this into words.
they say you know when you find "the one". you just know. well, whoever "they" are, they're right. you do just know. it just sort of happens. i'm not sure if he actually knows how wonderful he is, but i love him so much. he does these stupid little things that he knows make me smile, like when my head hurts, he knows if he presses his cold finger under my nose it feels good. or how he always brings me up a drink without being told. some people you need to beg for that kind of service.
and still i'm scared. he won't cheat on me, he has no reason to. he wouldn't be able to hide it from me. hell, he only had my engagement one minute in my presence and he had to give it to me. he just can't keep things from me. i don't think he'll fall out of love. everyday we have together is fun and different. we just don't get tired of each other that easily. i guess he could die. that would be horrible. if anything ever happened to him i'm not sure i could go on by myself. he is such a rock for me. right now i'm so depressed about a lot of things, and he's there for me. he listens to me bitching at least five to six times a day. without him, i'm not sure i have much left. he's so much a part of who i am right now.
we have our moments where one of us wants to throw the other down a flight of stairs, but we're in love. that's scary. love is scary. but i guess as the new martina mcbride song says, love 'em anyway. it can't hurt you to love someone, it only hurts to loose that love. chris is my best friend, my lover, my partner in crime, my best shopping buddy, and my family all rolled into one cute, and hairy, package.
so i'm not really sure what this entry was about, and chris is too busy watching "naruto" or whatever to notice what i'm doing, but i did it. i posted to my journal. this is a long time coming. i haven't really gotten and urges or whatnot in a while to update, but here i am!!!
in other news i don't have a job as of yet and it sucks. oh well. my wedding is set for june 7 2008. 06/07/08 kind cute huh? i'm busy planning that. i still have my horse vinnie. and i'm still teaching at candy apple even though i'd rather have a place of my own. my family is good. chris' family is doing good.
i'll come back and update soon i hope. have a good day everyone! i love you all!!!!
ps i hope this made some sense at all!!! :)
pps I MISS JENNY!!!
lonely