CEO of Aziklein

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
way-down-aevistown
way-down-aevistown

I wanna be so rich and I wanna fund so many public spaces I want libraries that are open all night and nap spaces that are open all day and large spaces with tables and chairs and electricity all free of charge and open to all and I want public shower rooms and water fountains and bathrooms that are also free and 24/7 and I want food to be available at all times and there to be all sorts of shops open at all times for the people who simply don't have spare time between the hours of 9 and 5. this would save unbelievable amounts of people but it'll never happen.

way-down-aevistown
sonderdd

that idea I had when I was younger where a girl was stuck in a timeloop and hated her coworker so much that she ended up commiting unethical atrocities to her out of both desperation and a declining sanity, but after a long time slowly got to know her and started befriending her instead, and by the time she stopped the time loops she was already in love with the coworker and the two ended up dating. To the coworker it's a cute enemies to lovers story where the other knows her really well, like they suddenly click together so much! And to the person stuck in a time loop the love and guilt eats away at her because due to her experience she ended up finding out very personal and secret things about her now girlfriend she feels she really shouldn't know while also holding the weight of everything she did to her during the early timeloop which makes her believe that she's a monster parading around in pretty skin and that there is no atonement to be found for her, but she still can't let go of the love she developed because it's the one real thing that makes her feel anything anymore.

way-down-aevistown

HEY SO I REALLY LIKE THIS?????

charlotte-fleming
werewolf-transgenderism

breaking news! new beautiful photo of the best species of frog in the world just dropped

A translucent teal-green frog with small bright yellow spots sitting atop a leafALT

cochranella euknemos, 📸 nuqui_herping on instagram

werewolf-transgenderism

for everyone in the notes lamenting that this guy is poisonous: they are not! they're just pretty :) since they're a glass frog, their major defense mechanism is being translucent and hiding their blood while they sleep so they look extra translucent and blend in with leaves <3

mckitterick

photo of a cute green frog on a leaf with the breaking news headline: Tumblr user has no choice but to reblog picture of friendly frogALT
sreegs
sreegs

hey it's me black mold. thanks for running your window air conditioner all summer. whatever you do, do not regularly clean the removable filter. that's not necessary

you should also never ever unplug the air conditioner and stick a flashlight in the vent that blows air to see if we're in there. it's very bad, that place should not be checked

and whatever you do, if you've already made the mistake of unplugging it, don't remove it from the window for cleaning if possible. and whether it's possible to remove the unit or not, don't carefully disassemble the front panel, document where the screws go and plastic bits go, and open up the vent more to be able to get into it easily

as black mold, i'm an expert on this. you should heed my warnings: now, if you've somehow made the mistake of doing all of the above, you should not use warm water and dish soap to CLEAN the inside of the vent thoroughly. DON'T ever use a bottle brush to get into the hard to reach places. and certainly don't rinse and dry the cleaned area before carefully putting it back together

there's nothing wrong with us, black mold. we don't cause or exacerbate breathing conditions like asthma or other illnesses. it's cool, we're cool

furthermore, if you're capable of removing the window unit, DONT take a hose with the same soapy water and wash the portion of the window unit that sits outside the window and is therefore weatherproofed.

whatever you do, don't allow the air conditioner to dry before plugging it back in and turning it on again

and if you have a central air conditioner, you will definitely never ever consult a manual or sources online to perform a similar cleaning procedure on the cooling unit outside.

lastly, if you're physically unable to do the things we (the black mold) warned you not to do above, you should never ever ask someone to help you or hire a service to do it.

garbage-empress

Also even if you do not have the time, space or ability to do some of the the things in the OP, definitely do not clean the coils (the awful sharp flat stacks of metal) with foaming coil cleaner. That removes the beneficial black mold (us) holding the unit together. It will be completely unsatisfying to watch the foam clean out the Super Beneficial Black Mold, Mildew, Hair, Lint & Dust Combo™ (that is not only a health hazard but making the unit less efficient at cooling necessary for air conditioner function) and leave the metal shiny.

It is a lot of elbow grease and definitely not just spraying a can and waiting. Especially do not use the ones that are self rinsing via the natural condensation of water around the coils where all you have to do is let the foam settle a couple hours before turning the unit back on. These foaming cleaners are also terrible to use on the removable air intake vent covers. You definitely do not just have to spray the opposite side of all the trapped shit on the plastic mesh and let the foam push it off. Also that stuff on the cover is great for you and your air conditioner.

Trust us. We, the mold, know much more about air conditioners than the people who make aerosol cans you can pick up for like $8 at home depot. Definitely do not do this a couple times a season.

sreegs

forgot to add that air conditioners definitely are not made to funnel water and drain so cleaning them in situ is probably not a good idea, because you cant just like, put a little container under it to catch any stray water and watch as the rest of the cleaning liquid and gunk drains out of the back of the unit

the-haiku-bot
what-even-is-thiss

Gets stuck in the past and makes a random village get way smarter and less violent in a generational sense because I keep smacking people over the head with a stick and telling them that it’s the devil’s metal whenever they try to use lead for something in my presence and there develops a very niche regionalized superstition that an angry warlock will jump out of a tree and beat the shit out of you if you touch lead with your bare hands

what-even-is-thiss

Gets excommunicated by the Catholic Church for telling people that they can banish the devil from their water if they boil it therefore saving hundreds of people from a cholera outbreak but I don’t care and keep trying to convince the locals to use soap more often

what-even-is-thiss

image

Meets another iseksied person in the far past and beats the shit out of them for participating in the slave trade and eating moldy bread

what-even-is-thiss

image

Gets seen as crazy when I say I’m distilling peppermint oil to banish the miasma but people start asking to have some real quick when the Black Death comes to town and I am unaffected due to my constantly minty fresh house repelling rodents and fleas alike

aro-pancake

Or, you know, also keeping cats so they can hunt and kill said rats before they can overpopulate.

And then making penicillin, because it's basically mold.

what-even-is-thiss

Cats don’t hunt rats and I don’t know how to make penicillin.

aro-pancake

Modern cats don't do it as much because they got churu and a lot of rats are poisoned.

And for the penicillin, we only gotta take The Book with us, and we're good.

what-even-is-thiss

You think you have enough time to grab The Book while you’re being sucked into the time wormhole? You fool.

aro-pancake

Always have The Book on hand! And memorize it whole! :3

what-even-is-thiss

I will not be doing that.

aro-pancake

It's digital, don't worry! And I'll be tagging along to help you! :3

silurisanguine

Doing all this whilst being a woman and then getting burned at the stake for being a witch.......

what-even-is-thiss

Only if you’re in 17th century Scotland.

silurisanguine

Or 14th century Ireland, or many parts of Europe.
In England they'd just hang/drown/execute you.

Either way a woman doing any of those things in medieval times.....wouldn't be seen well (good ol heresy) and would most likely lead to a witch hunt.

what-even-is-thiss

What’s your definition of medieval because the Malleus Maleficarum (the book that got people paranoid about witches) wasn’t written until 1486 and 1500 is usually considered the start of the early modern period so there were only about 14 years of overlap there.

That book also took a long time to get the paranoia going properly because a lot of people rightly recognized that the author was full of shit and if people actually listened to the advice in the book that a lot of innocent people would get hurt.

Ireland also had less witch trials than say Scotland or England.

If you’re referring to the unfortunate incident of the Kilkenny trials in 1324, Alice Kyteler wasn’t a healer in the sources I’ve seen. She was a wealthy banker with a suspicious number of husbands.

the-haiku-bot

Ireland also

had less witch trials than say

Scotland or England.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.