~Teenage Zombie~ < 3:;:<\3

Yea well not a lot has happend since the last time I updated coz it wasnt that long ago.

Hmmm, off school since end of March mainly due to illness, seen Chris and Craig LOADS lately < 3 Tiz b'n gid !!!! Only everyone seemed to think I' d like died!! Missed some peoplle actualy but phoned some.

Started exams erch they is goin miserably but hey last year b'n stressed out have no plans.
Only 2 more left and then I'm away.
This weekend has been drink lots but dont sleep or eat much. Being Birthday Iain an aw that!

Iain *somehow* persuaded me to walk to causewayhead at 7 in the morning to go to bed to get up to have Birthday Iain. So Stayed at Toms until today i was home by 12 walked n it took me forever under heat!!!

Got to Stirling station at around 12 or 12:30 to find my train wasnt until 1:40 so I was bored immensley seen Ali had a quick chat had a fag wi him n then waited some more.

Had a nice nap on the train to Ardrossan until 3 fuckin neds got on and were bein pure fannys, i was lying half dead wanting to throw them off the moving train!! And some old guy was pure shoutin et them to leave me alone. Nice old man!!

Yea so eventualy got to destination Arran and it was just me n him watchin deal or no deal sped up coz he has fancy sky and there was a pure mental woman talkin to a pencil sharpener and like meditating.
Well, me and Arran found this highly highly amusing .

Then Chris appeared < 3 he was all tired n ill looking was a shame, then me n Arran went to get Alcohol Uncle Jack espec. only we had to go to Saltcoats got a big taxi but told chris we ran XP

Then Craig appeared, then Hitman... then me n Arran went upstairs to play keyboard and sing then we got poguerised!!!!
Then Stu appeared.

Got drunk Phoned my mum to make sure evrything is ok and everything went well I got a pure shock bout Papa's state of health. Totaly gutting.

Was watchin Braveheart and I aint seen it in pure ages and at the end me and Craig decided that he was William Wallace in past life and I was one of the fighters so et the end me n Craig pure roared freedom at the top of our lungs thru Arran's house!!!
Jack.D and Jaeger Tantalising mix in people!!!!

Yea so I listened to Pink Floyd - Dark-side of the Moon - Great Gig In The Sky & Money =)(=
Drank some beer while I was there.

Then me and Craig went with Stu to take Hitman hame came back agen went online and stuff
I didnt actualy see chris much tonight was kinda weird hey ho
yea so Chris went hame (and I swear he knicked my fags coz me and Arran hunted high and low fer them and couldnae see them so Im gassin fer a fag!) and me n Arran were online until bout 3.

I know I had like a 10 min. convo wi Sean coz well i still have it and it was a nice wee convo.
I also spoke to dan dunno what about I dont have that convo! Y'know so hey the best convo was the one I had wi andrew from 1 till like 7 this mornin talkin bout all sorts I swear I love him to bits and Pieces .< 3< 3< 3

Yea so Im just Tinterneting and downloading music and I cant find the heating control system and down by the beach is pretty chilly. Im also eating last nites popcorn and water for brekkie

My plan is to go and terrorise Arran have a Jacoooooooooozi bath and clean up and wake Arran up with the Kiano *keyboard piano*


Sooooo that's my news, except the weather sucks uberly windy and a tad rainy!!!!!!
Yea so now it's 10:33 am I'm still not in bed but Im fuckin freezin.


It TOTALY has paid off my task is almost over and so far it's goin great FUCKYES! =)(=

This is because I owe this . I could go on and on and on about Chris but I`d get sick of the sound of myself so I can now coz u cant hear me!!

 For me to treat someone like shit and for them to love me soo much that they can take the pain and keep on loving me and love me more is something I find amazing.

 Im an asshole to him we`re both assholes, we have almost nothing in common but we have wee things and it`s good because we find out that we do like things after a while that we didnt.

 Bi-Polar Opposites attract // one baby to another says im lucky to have met you, I dont care what you think the best thing is about me \\ pass it back and forth in our passionate kiss :::

  I have never loved anyone more.  He deserves every peice of credit anyone gives him because he` s as gid as a fuckin rockstar to me.
 
 He`s better than most people that I know and do you know why because he`s smart he`s cute he`s hawt he`s my kurt because he can influence me like no one else can he`s there for my family as much as he is for me, he takes more than any one else he nurses me better when Im sick or when im on a period never found a guy who`d do that!!! He`s a gid best mate as well which just tops it off!!
 I love to romance him in my own way I hate goin a week without seeing him it`s shit.

   I`ve b`n drawn into your magnet tar pit trap // I`ve been locked in side your heart shaped box for weeks

 EVERYONE should know that Im in the best relationship with my husband Courtney he makes me happier than mark or marge or fergi or anyone & everyone put together!!!
 
   If there is anything to celebrate in my life it`s him.
  
 He loves me and thats something big for me!!!! I love him and we`ve had our mates and my parents tellin us that we didnt love each other or I didnt love him well FUCK YOU!!!!! 
      
        < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3  Everyone who reads this Chris Oliver is a fuckin star !!!!!!!!! < 3 < 3 < 3 < 3
 

So i moved out & in ..last Thursday. In causewayhead now wi Tom n Iain it's gid .well quiet... bitch to get to skool costs a tenner for 5 days I feel more independent because it feels like Im lodging  n that.

 Went to Chrisp`s on Friday met up wi Arran went down the chippy to get.... Franny seen Michael n Sheilds, Darrel n the like! Stood about fer ages n it was so0o0o cold didn't feel like minus 3!!! Had a feww laughs though!

 Then wandered about fer ages n then eventualy went home n had lotsa talkin n Chili peppers and meaningfulness The Geek, Geekette and The geek oliver!! < 3

 Saturday went through to Glasgow wi Chrisp n Craigy n then met Arran after work. Me n Arran were talkin about his problems n Chrisp n stuff < 3 Then we started singing Alanis Morisette REAL loud and a band called the like had a wee dance!!

 Ok im here seein mum n now im goin but things are gid all round < 3

Hmmmm Munch Box, Korma orrrrr korma sauce rice n pashwari naan

 Went with korma neway skool was fine had some banter n some laughs got told I look like Dave Grohl ...... >= / peronaly I dont see it!!

  Seen Marge after school got on the train wi her * You knew those crusts were gonna be there!* *why would you plan a bombing if YOU were on the train?* Suicide bomber Duh RoZe!!
 Sean gave me a curl pulled it out for me n everythin and I lost it on the way over the table  XP went into the arcade wi marge to look in the new shop coz I hadnt b`n inbefore quite a few pretty clothes  quite awrite! 

  Went to costa was so tired felt like sleepin on the steps but they were a tad mingin so didnt try! Passed a couple of civils wi Ali there was this mad jamican soundin guy was mental n a drunk but neway sat about n seen Helen + Bumbp for a few seconds

 Went lookin for a job got 1 application form Debbie`s gettin me 1 fae her work n I`ve to hand in a CV for another place ...........think I need to make up a CV = / Hmm

 *Im TOTALY stuffed feel like I ate Everyone Damn gid Indian*   

 neway came home and came online n ate!!!!!!!

 Now Im bored.     

 Im still wondering why me n Marge stopped rebuilding our friendship ....... i mean if you still dunno who to believe then how come Alistair still gets to have the chance?!?      *shrugz* If Marge reads it`s partly me askin but still partly me just wonderin

 

Meh had such a horrible fucking day not to mention stressfull !!!!!!

 Erch! I really want to smack someone in the face however this could lead to groundings!!

 Severely pissed off,  stayed off skoul to help ma mom cleaned the house.
 Gran and Tom came through, blah blah blah.....

  I duno how people can be so0o0o0o unthoughtful and fuckin inconsiderate, I dunno HOW she can just forgive him/kiss and make up just like that after all of today!
 Fucksake, coldshoulder from me fer a while I`m INCREDIBLY pissed off, GRRRRRRRR!!!!!

 *lotsa swearing and i wish i had LOTSA fags! I`d smoke myself silly right now if I could!*

   By christ I`ve gotten a belly i  *more exercise needs applyin/Less shite needs eaten!*

  Got all excited about when I get paid *whenever THATS gonna happen* EEEEEEP>< 
 Cannae wait!!!!! My finger will look pretty!!!!!*eventualy*
   Spoke to mom the other day about moving again and yea didnt get far decided *if i can last it out* I`m gonna move after I get my results so I can just leave skoul, but if i`m in skoul when I move @ least I`ll have definate money for rent!!  Blah dunno! Depends where/who I can go/who`ll take me! k toodle!!

You Know NOONE on this EARTH that I`ve met can PISS ME OFF MORE THAN MY SISTER! SWEAR TO GOD! When I move out IM NEVER TALKIN to her! I can be in such a go0d mo0d and all she has to do is talk to me and I get pissed off!

 My Mom is equally pissin me off actualy in fact naw no equaly she`s not quite as bad ......actualy generaly ev`ry1 in ma house is doin ma head in..it gets worrying when I`d rather be in school than at hame!

  Im engaged btw and I`m so0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 UBERLY HAPPYYYY bout that and I had one of the best weekends with Chrisp Aaron Arran and Lana and the weekend before that to0! It`s b`n great apart from a few tiny minor points but it wiz nothin!

  But yea my maw found out bout me n chrisp gettin engaged n I wasnt gonna tell her until I got my ring, but she found out and she was bein very unsupportive sayin I shouldnt get married n all this pish which rather upset me I thought she`d support me whatever or @ least thats what she told me :`(  I suppose she either thinks I`m not serious but she must or she wouldnt have sed nuffin!  *I`d b`n in the house 5 mins fae sko0l and she pissed me off n upset me!*  the 1 person I want to always be happy for me not neccessarily with me but FOR me but naw! Then she said Dave n aw that were nutters even though not long before it had she met and spoken to them n said they werent that bad! *Contradicting herself apu* and she tells me no to be mates wi Dave I dinnae think so! Dave is such a gid mate and Im NEVER gonna stop bein mates wi him because my moms contradicting and Judgemental!

 So my mom`s tryin to stop me seein ma best m8 and she`s tellin me no to get engaged or whatever!

   Then later on Gary passed me 2`s of his fag n i started walkin out the street  n ma dad comes out n shoutin to smoke else where cause I embarrass him n ma maw well the words were "do that else where dont do it here dont embarrass us" so by shouting it to the street thats not makin it more noticeable! Christ maist of the neighbours knew I smoked before HE DID!   Erch Stupid hypocrit!!!!! Fucksake! So i`m an embarrassment to them ALL over again! Suppose there was a few years in between being an embarrassment but still!

 Im no tellin ma parents what im doin wi stuff like school coz it`s my life n they appear to forget that from time to time ...well at least my Mom does!

 I just wanted her to be happy for me but I suppose that`s askin to0 much! Just coz her marriage went down the drain coz she married a loser shithead!
 I`ll do well this year and i`ll do it WITHOUT ma `rents breathin down ma neck thanx very much!

  Im fuckin pissed off to the max!

 I FUCKING HATE..LIVING HERE with the bickering and the SHITE  as so0n as i can Im moving out!!!!

 

 

 CRACKING UP IN THIS TO0 SMALL BOX!!!!!!!!!!!     I dont care who HACKS into MY account and reads MY liveJOURNAL where I CHOOSE who reads it!

 

 There it goes again my support it keeps collapsing underneath me! I dont think I can lean on it much more.

  Falling over lotsa ropes that get tugged round ma feet.

 Today`s just b`n hellish to say the least!   I cant b your support n now ur fallin from underneath me.

 fall and watch ourselves falling .... but do we actualy reach the ground... I suppose sumday , 1 day yea we will!

  What can I do i thought you`d be more decent bout this but you just acted like a cunt and didnt even notice you dun it! It`s my fault but your fault to0!!

 Im letting things slip away like they`d died or summit... but I dont wanna tell you all the reasons coz I already know your anwsers you dont understand why we`re here but I do you are taking it upon the total wrong reasons

 FUCK OFF

EVERY1

 Im totaly isolating myself coz whit the fuck is the point in tryin to open yersel up to folk who u think you`re close to when you cant coz it all crumbles when they cant handle it! 

 Im fucked up but that would be my fault ay yeahhh it would be my fault i cant help my m8s that i`d love to help and my family i cant help them either evry1`s on  cancer beds Y the fuck do i still smoke!!!!!

 There`s to0 much to take in at the same time but instead of straightening out everythings building up on me... i aint eating i aint sleeping its to0 much and I`ve got to the point where i`ve cracked im letting sum of it seep out right fuckin now but theres so much packed up into such a tight ball *stop annoyin me kids*

 

It echoes in my brain, i didn`t mean it.

Pulses thru my vain, i didn`t mean it

I`m the one to blame, i didnt mean it

Did to0 much cocaine, I didn`t mean it

Slackerbitch, fag, hag, whore looks feel cute her lips are sore

Slackerbitch, Fag, Hag, Whore always comes back for more.

Your memory will fade, I didn`t mean it

you`ve always had it made, I didnt mean it

I know you feel betrayed, I didn`t mean it

I just wanted to get laid, I didn`t mean it

SlackerBitch, fag, hag whore looks are cute, her lips are sore

SlackerBitch fag hag whore, always knockin at my door

You come across impure, I didnt mean it

You`re goddamn immature, i didnt mean it

You Act so insecure, I didnt mean it

you hate me now i`m sure, I didnt mean it

 

 

 

I just wanna say so much but where the fuck do i start?!

 Why could things no just have stayed ok, i wouldnt have a few of these things flyin round riot in ma head 24/7............ gettin nae sleep coza it!

 I dont need him bein a cunt when I`m being there fer 2 m8s  when they need me! 

 I feel so0o0o0 pissed off things were gid up to a few weeks ago!

 How come they complain @ me when summits wrong wi me but i dont say, but wen i try bein there for them i get pushed away ..... for bein the "only person they can talk to" I seem pretty useless!

 This shit is bananas B.A.N.A.N.A.S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I have to do summit coz I just .......... cant put up with it all the time! Not that they`ll understand!

                 :;:~Bruises On the Fruit~:;:
                   / ~Tender Age In Blo0m~\                                                                          

me n dave had a gid laugh the other night! Banterous through and through!

Yea so,   Stayed wi Chrisp from thursday on sat we child-minded keiran *and we did mind jake or john or whateva the other yin was called so he got kicked out @ 7*  went home on sunday was up @ nik`s old hoose wi anne-marie, scott, nikki , tony, anddddd silent dave. I got to straighten daves hair which took me 3 hours and as i left I got attacked with hair straightners so im burnt and this mornin I pure yelled @ him so he went off to his pal rachel and told her i punched him in the gut even tho I kicked him in the knee so she wants tae kill me oh well.*shrugz*

 Got a brace train track tiz red and sore n annoyin!!!!! I`ve b`n so angry today with people and stuff and now after no that long I`m a liar supposedly eh howz about naw I cannae be bother`t wi stuff like this but just this 1ce im no lettin it pass by I`m lettin nothin pass by without confrontin it first...... Im no makin you out to be the bad yin fuck up christ I have NO reason to MAKE you a bad guy I`m just sayin whit I sed and the fact I sed a stumble of  words and turned it into a sentence doesnt go wi your anwser that I supposedly said.

 You make no sense . no it makes no sense  I so cant be doin with it but im not gonna b made out to be a liar  Fuck that idea!