Michael

Michael Patron

Favorite films

  • Bliss
  • Ebony & Ivory
  • The Picture of Dorian Gray
  • The World's Greatest Sinner

Recent activity

All
  • The Cat's Meow

    ★★★★

  • Shelby Oaks

    ★★

  • Sextette

    ★★★

  • Strange Wilderness

    ★★½

Pinned reviews

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Jaws: The Revenge
★★★★ Liked Watched

30 - 4/17 - Watch a movie that shares its name with a band

There are like 6 bands or artists, according to Apple Music, with the name Jaws. A little bit of a cheat? Yes. But this movie was so in the spirit of this LB series, that I felt like I had to include it in here.

This feels like a rib on the previous Jaws franchise. Like someone making a Troma-esque midnight movie only with a 23…

Cool as Ice
★★★½ Liked Watched

Vanilla Ice is Johnny Van Owen, called V by his crew. Definitely not a stand in for Robert Van Winkle. His crew, who are also his DJ, a dancer on his shows, and… uh, was the other guy a technician or something? It was never really explained. They also apparently all practice martial arts. While traveling on tour on their motorcycles, despite not packing clothes or having any equipment or anything, one of their bikes breaks down and they have…

Recent reviews

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The Cat's Meow
★★★★ Watched

This was solid as hell. Really strong performances and a really nice pace to this.

Shelby Oaks
★★ Watched

The film feels intentionally messy.... but the worse crime is that it's unintentionally uninteresting.

Popular reviews

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Real Steel
★★★½ Watched

Over the top, ridiculous, and strikingly entertaining.

The Substance
★★★★½ Liked Watched

15. 10/6 - Watch a horror movie with a purple poster.

(I’d definitely say the poster I picked counts as purple)

This was pretty gloriously fucked up all the way around. Some really great performances by Moore, Qualley, and Quaid. While well paced, it may have run a little long in the first two acts, but that’s very, very slight nit-picking. But when it picks up steam, JESUS. The last 40 minutes are about as uncomfortable (in a good way)…