i am not smart, i am not observant, yet i am self aware. i see someone do magic tricks and i get sent into a blind rage. how did they do it? i ask them to do it again slower. i do not get it. they explain the trick to me step by step, snails paced. i still, despite my best efforts, do not understand. by this point i am visibly shaking. i missed the trick this time because i…