I'm gonna be honest, my friend has been after me to see Soapdish for a while and I got this confused with that and probably would have had a way better time if I had bothered to double-check first! I'm sure some man will sea lion in to explain how ACTUALLY his job requires him to listen to women nattering all day and how that turned him into a fuck machine with a secret sorrow, but it felt like the…

Never has a buddy cop movie needed the buddies in question to kiss more than this one!! I love how much time is spent on the "moving the babies to safety" subplot, just shot after shot of people being like "I'LL TAKE THE BABIES" and grabbing like two of them out of this maternity ward that's absolutely bursting at the seams. For some reason I was pooped last night so I kept having to stand up and take a lap…

This film has a cool idea: a dude wakes up from an accident with no memory of how he got there or who he is, and anyone who comes within 50 feet of him instantly drops dead. Unfortunately that idea gets buried in a muddle of amnesia, identical twins, and serial killers that's too dumb to explain and is unworthy of a Lifetime original movie. Everything after the first act feels like it was thrown together to give the two…