in august of 2025 i was unexpectedly contacted by my close friend zoe to participate in their hugely ambitious film festival dubbed the mausoleum makeout marathon, with the only cost of entry being one hot, steamy kiss. im as much of a musician as i am a filmmaker, so upon my immediate accepting of the offer, i started drumming up ways to integrate these two art forms that i love in a way that they and i had all but…
back around february or march, at the tail end of working with a client on a project of hers, she—apparently highly satisfied with my work—offered me a once in a lifetime opportunity, and a challenge: if i made a new song, and a short film to accompany it in time for Cannes, she would premiere it to the world alongside her feature, as a special event. the catch? Cannes was in May. that meant i had to write a new…
still one of the best action/adventure/dramas ive ever seen and a clear figurehead in nolans rapid ascension into mainstream stardom and recognition. well deserved too
i remember seeing this thing with my shithead father back in the day. a movie so good it temporarily made me forget that i hate him. this shit literally incepted the idea that i have a good relationship with my parents into my brain because i left the theater so euphoric. mix that in with…
despite not really fitting very well into any pre-existing spongebob continuity (why does neptune look and act so differently compared to his in-series appearance? why has goofy goobers ice cream party boat never been mentioned until now? why doesn't plankton know the entire alphabet?) the spongebob squarepants movie still acts as the perfect conclusion to what couldve been and, in many ways, still is, one of the absolute greatest animated series of all time.
may be my mood going in…
me [1/3 through this movie]: why does the internet hate griffith so much
me [2/3 through this movie]: ah
holy shit i am torn
pros:
-ridiculously cool designs
-really fucking clean animation
-SLAPPING soundtrack
-unique premise
-excellent english dub
-the ice cream truck scene
cons:
-not as much action as advertised
-muddled plot
-half of the characters served no purpose
-the dialogue felt like the writers just discovered Bad Words
-deus ex machina ending
-absurdly forced romance
-felt 30 minutes longer than it actually was
-willy
-the main character....basically did nothing....throughout the entire film
i didnt by any means…
