Like every time I’ve attempted to take a panoramic photo but I’m a clumsy oaf so everyone ends up with 4 eyes and an extra leg.

As a lad, I couldn’t comprehend how a film called Mermaids could possibly not feature any ACTUAL mermaids.

As a man, I can’t comprehend the magnificence of Cher.

Ian & Samson: a romance for the ages - I’m nursing a bone temple of my very own in the afterglow of DeCosta’s hilariously deranged follow up.

If we could also please have more films halt proceedings in their final act to give Eddie his moment, that’d be great.

Masterful tone juggling at play in this fully-committed 70s satanic-panic talk show pastiche, not to mention some of the most effective possession portrayal I’ve seen in donkeys.

After watching Dune pt. 2 yesterday and now this, I’m starting to think worm horror is fast becoming my new fave thing.