Stuck at home for the long weekend

I feel like I should probably write daily. Even if it is to say that my day sucked or was boring and nothign happened. Supposedly this is good for writers. My writing sucks.

I messed up my knee at the gym on Wed in a spinning class. I thought cycling was easy on the knees, but my doctor practically laughed at me when I told her that. She thought I was an idiot. Apparently, I have bursitis which is caused by repetitive movement (such as cycling). She said if it doesnt get better it may be a torn meniscus. Can it be that the same clumsy injury that plagued my father, Jonathan and Dave may now be haunting me? I hope not. I dont wanna go thru surgery.

So Tracy has been leaving me these 10min messages on my voicemail. Monologues. It's really wierd when my phone rings and I dont pick up and 10mins later it vibrates bc she finally finished leaving her message. I feel really bad for her bc she seems lonely. I almost feel like this whole Rick relationship she speaks of is a figment of her imagination. Could it be? Could she be so lonely and desparate that she has imagined a very detailed relationship with an old boyfriend of hers? Or worse, did she never have a boyfriend in Rick??? I feel bad for her and dont want her to be lonely but at the same time she is very demanding and I fear she may one day lose it on me.

Additionally, this whole Rick thing is fishy bc she keeps talking about how she doesnt want to see him until his divorce is final and that sometimes he doesnt call since he's dealing with the divorce and his kids take up a lot of time. Does she really want a relationship with a man who has all those priorities over her? I sympathize and empathize with her in that she feels like she cant be that picky especially at her age. People that age always come with baggage. Heck, Im almost 20 yrs younger than her and I have my fair amount of baggage, which Dave deals with quite fairly, I might add.

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Sometimes things are tough. Sometimes i feel like im in middle school again...eating disorders, low self esteem, boy troubles...these are the things that plagued my middle school years and seem to have returned to haunt me.

I love Kahleaf...A LOT! Not in the boyfriend/girlfriend sense or in the "i wanna marry you" type of way, but in the way I love TJ and other people I worry about. I just want him to make it through this life, to rise out of a lot of the shit he came from and to prove good things do happen to poor people. I want to be able to tell my kids the inspirational story of Kahleaf. (oh oh did I accidentally admit that I want to have kids?) I dont know what i want in life. I want things to be simple yet exciting and somehow the two seem to be exclusive of each other.

I have this thing for selfish guys. Or is it that I have a thing for guys and all guys are selfish?

Maybe all these feelings have arisen because Im not busy enough. maybe ive just had too much time to eat shit and think of not so great things.
  • Current Mood
    melancholy melancholy

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John Edwards looks like John Ritter, the guy from Three's Company. I think John Ritter didn't really die and he just wanted a career in politics but did not want to be a joke like Arnold S.

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Im trying really hard not to hate cus I really think hatred is a very immature feeling, but im finding it difficult, damn near impossible, to resist. Im not sure who to hate. Myself--for allowing him to do this to me? Or him? Right now its both, but the sad thing is that in the end ill only hate one of us and its not going to be him.

Play sausage! Who has the longest?

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created by nightway

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hmm...
Lots of stuff
I got an A on that test that I swore I failed. I mean I really barely answered the questions. But yeah somehow the prof justified giving me an A. Im sure then that Jonathan did just fine. Cus you know how profs just love him (especially now that hes wearing that Iron Arrow jacket everywhere).
Hmm...Sinorice pinched me today. And he showed me a pic of his lil bro and him in his phone. It was precious.
Im excited about visiting Emory. Im beginning to wonder whether my parents should just buy a condo in Atlanta and rent it out or what?

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I love that Swiffer commercial with the maid from the Brady Bunch diving into the pool at a country club and the Frank Sinatra music in the background and that black man who i dont recognize but think I should. Its such a happy commercial.

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( ) I have never been drunk.
(x) I have never smoked pot.
( ) I have never kissed a member of the opposite sex.
(x) I have never kissed a member of the same sex.
(x) I never crashed a friend's car.
(x) I never been to Japan.
( ) I never rode in a taxi.
(x) I never had anal sex.
( ) I have never been in love.
( ) I never had sex.
(x) I have never had sex in public.
( ) I have never been dumped.
(x) I never shoplifted.
(x) I have never been fired.
(x) I have never been in a fist fight.
(x) I never had a threesome.
(x) I have never snuck out of my parent's house.
(x) I have never been tied up (sexually).
(x) I have never been caught masturbating.
(x) I have never pissed on myself.
(x) I never had sex with a member of the same sex.
(x) I have never been arrested.
( ) I have never made out with a stranger.
(x) I have never stolen something from my job.
(x) I have never celebrated new years in time square.
(x) I never went on a blind date.
( ) I never lied to a friend.
(x) I never had a crush on a teacher.
(x) I never celebrated mardi-gras in New Orleans.
( ) I have never been to Europe.
( ) I have never skipped school.
(x) I have never slept with a co-worker.
( ) I have never cut myself on purpose.
(x) I have never had sex at the office.
(x) I have never gotten married.
(x) I have never gotten divorced.
(x) I have never had children
(x) I have never killed someone.

(no subject)

K Jasmine did this a while ago and i totally intended to do it, but I forgot about it until Vanessa did it. So yeah Im stealing it from them cus i thought it was sooo cool.

1. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS = favorite spice + last (or hopeful) foreign vacation spot
------->oregano milan

2. SOCIALITE ALIAS = silliest childhood nickname + town where you first partied
-------> prunella miami

3. FLY GIRL ALIAS (a la J. Lo.) first initial + first 2 or 3 letters of your last name
-------> L-Ge (sorry guys this one is not so cool:()

4. ROCK STAR ALIAS = any liquid on the bar + last name of bad ass celebrity
-------> Cognac Depp

5. DIVA ALIAS = something sweet within site + any liquid in kitchen
-------> Sugar Brandy

6. GIRL DETECTIVE ALIAS = favorite baby animal + where you last went to school
-------> Kitten Miami

7. BARFLY ALIAS = Last snack food you ate + your favorite drink
-------> Pretzels Midori

8.SOAP OPERA ALIAS = middle name + first street where you lived
------->Leal Montgomery (I dont know the street name of where I first lived...sorry)

Ive never had a nickname, at least not one that stuck so you guys can start referring to me by my diva alias or my barfly alias. Either will do:)