I'm so sad. I don't think there has ever been a sadder time in my life as there is right now. My mom almost died, my grandmother is really sick, and I just found out today my dad's dying. I can't fucking take this anymore. I've always wondered what I would do if my parents ever died. I really thought about a lot of things. I need to show my love for them in every way. All this time I really took them for granted, they've done so much for me-now its my turn to do stuff for them. I can't even believe I'm talking about this...it just hit me so unexpectedly. I have to go get ready for work, I shouldn't even go since all I feel like doing is crying.
so I didn't go to work today. My mom wanted to see me. It turns out she had a STROKE. My poor mother. Wow. That was definitely a wake up call not only to her, but to me. I love her dearly and I know I don't always show it. Awww. I feel so guilty and selfish! Ahhh. She has surgery on her arteries tomorrow. I guess they were really clogged up. She said she's going to stop smoking-I really hope she does. It just doesn't seem real though...it's hard for me to accept it. She seemed fine when I saw her today, she'll get through it, I'll help her out in anyway I can.I'm just really proud of her-she's just an unbelievably strong woman and I know she'll be alright, she just needs to take things easy. Please continue to keep her in your thoughts and prayers, it means a lot to know that my friends care. <3 thanks.
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omg...my mom has to get an operation done and probably won't be home until friday or saturday now...
ahhh...
on a more random happier note-I love Adam Brody. He plays Dave on Gilmore Girls and he was in The Ring too. Anyway, I can't wait to see the new show Welcome to the OC, its going to be on fox and he's in it! It looks really good.
i need to do something with my life....you know, I thought I was but all this....everything I've known has been a lie, I mean nothing....I'm nothing.
There's just so much going on with my family and school and everything and it's just really getting to the point where I'm nearly in tears...uuugghhhh.
I try so hard to make the best out of my life too, but this is where it gets me...I always get hurt.
whoo! work was pretty good, I worked with my two favorite people, Lyndsay and Matt. I also got my paycheck tonight. $180! That's going towards my prom dress. Prom's May 17th, ahh. I have SATS tomorrow. OMG. You know that promo song that's been on Dawson's Creek lately? I thought it was Michelle Branch and it is. I LOVE THAT SONG. It's the best. I finally just found the mp3 of it. It's called, Are you happy now? I've been listening to it on repeat all night. I just made a new layout for my livejournal featuring it. I forgot how much I loved Michelle Branch. I'm definitely getting her new CD. I bought the Ataris's So Long, Astoria for 10 dollars today, sweet deal. It's a great CD. Omg...I hope Sunday works out! I'm supposed to be going on a blind date with Joe. Hopefully he'll end up my prom date. Haha. Alright well I better go to bed, I have to get up early tomorrow. Goodnight. <3
oh man. On Thursday I went out with Heather looking at prom dresses and then we went to Cape Cod and went out to dinner but we got lost haha so we didn't get home until 1:30 in the morning, I got in a lot of trouble, ahh. Then on Friday night-Brittany came over and did my hair and make up for the Greenwell (local band) concert. Yeah it was supposed to start at like 5:30, but it didn't start until 6:30. Greg, her boyfriend showed up and we hung out. Then two of the guys that I have crushes on were there-well obviously, one of them is in the band. Anyway, he was there with his girlfriend and I was like right next to them and should have said something ugh but I didn't I'm so stupid and shy. Anyway, I didn't even get to see the band perform, we had to leave early because Brittany was sick and Greg was tired. I was pissed! I spent 7 bucks haha and I didn't even get to see the band go on. Ohh well. It was just like a really weird night because I usually go to concerts with a lot of my friends but it was only me and Brittany and Greg. Mhmm. Yeah. Work was alright tonight. I really didn't want to go, it wasn't so bad. Omg. School's on Monday. wow. this week flew by. I have SATS on May 3rd. I was originally going to take that Saturday off from work-but now I'm trying to switch it so I can have Sunday off because hopefully I'm going on a double date with Heather and her date Tom and his friend Joe. Alrighty, I'm gonna go watch the Ataris in concert! I love this band!
I have a week off of school for April vacation. woo. Work's been alright. I'm getting better at it, atleast I think so. haha. Ah, Carol's in Texas this week...I miss her. I just talked to her online though. She's soo funny, she always can make me laugh until I'm in tears. Well, I'm gonna go crawl up on the couch with a nice warm blanket, eat sugar covered strawberries and watch a movie, ah how nice & relaxing!
