http://future-games.livejournal.com/ (
future-games.livejournal.com) wrote in
lastvoyageslogs2010-06-04 01:38 am
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(no subject)
Who: Isaac Mendez & Ted Sprague {Closed}
What: Official inmate and warden meeting. :D
When: Thursday~
Where: CES
Warnings: Nothing really, I imagine. Just the usual bitchy inmate/warden fiascoes.
It was either incredibly bad luck or some sick joke courtesy of the Admiral that Isaac's new warden embodied almost everything the painter was trying to escape. He hated Ted with every fiber of his being, and he wasn't even trying to hide it. It was all based upon one simple fact: if Ted hadn't existed back home, the month-long nightmare that had been Isaac's life wouldn't have happened.
Isaac's attitude towards Ted was a stark difference to how he was with Jo. Just a month ago, he had been more than willing to speak and work his way towards graduation. Almost cheerful, even. But now he was right back to the condition he was in when he arrived. He had already locked himself away, voluntarily quarantined his emotions into the very back of his mind. All he felt right now were the effects of two hours of sleep and a day without eating.
But still, unwilling as he had been, the painter kept to Ted's schedule and dragged himself to the second floor as if it were the most difficult thing in the world. Leaning against the entrance to the CES, he waited and contemplated whether or not it was too late to run.
What: Official inmate and warden meeting. :D
When: Thursday~
Where: CES
Warnings: Nothing really, I imagine. Just the usual bitchy inmate/warden fiascoes.
It was either incredibly bad luck or some sick joke courtesy of the Admiral that Isaac's new warden embodied almost everything the painter was trying to escape. He hated Ted with every fiber of his being, and he wasn't even trying to hide it. It was all based upon one simple fact: if Ted hadn't existed back home, the month-long nightmare that had been Isaac's life wouldn't have happened.
Isaac's attitude towards Ted was a stark difference to how he was with Jo. Just a month ago, he had been more than willing to speak and work his way towards graduation. Almost cheerful, even. But now he was right back to the condition he was in when he arrived. He had already locked himself away, voluntarily quarantined his emotions into the very back of his mind. All he felt right now were the effects of two hours of sleep and a day without eating.
But still, unwilling as he had been, the painter kept to Ted's schedule and dragged himself to the second floor as if it were the most difficult thing in the world. Leaning against the entrance to the CES, he waited and contemplated whether or not it was too late to run.

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Which was partially why Ted had decided on the CES for their first meeting. Undoubtedly Isaac was getting a bit of cabin fever, so Ted thought somewhere close to home, his loft with a view, might relax him a little bit. He didn't know how detailed the illusion would be, having only read about it, but he hoped it would accomplish what he wanted.
Before he left his cabin, Ted glanced at the framed portrait of Karen he had on his desk. It was a picture from a happier time, felt like an eternity ago. She was why he was here, why he had to succeed with Isaac. Selfish, perhaps, but the Admiral had made him a deal. He would hold him to that.
Dressed casually - maybe even scruffy, depending on one's perspective - Ted arrived only a moment after Isaac. He didn't have the file with him, tried to make this whole thing seem as friendly as he possibly could.
"So. Shall we?" He asked and nodded toward the doorway. His voice only carried the tiniest hint of scratchiness, otherwise normal.
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Glaring, he pushed himself off of the wall and rolled down his sleeves. If Ted had read his file, he knew all too well about the track marks left by years of drug abuse, but it was a habit. He was ashamed of those ugly scars and collapsed veins and he hid them from the world, but he would add to them anyway if the right chance crossed his path.
Isaac didn't speak when spoken to. He simply shrugged, shooting his new warden an expectant look that said something along the lines of "Do you really need to ask? You're going to force me anyway."
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Okay, so Isaac wanted to play the silent treatment. Fine. Ted could deal with that. He had all day for this meeting. It'd go on that long if it had to.
Ted stepped into the CES first then held the door aside for Isaac. Once both inmate and warden were in, the stunningly realistic rain forest changed. Within a few seconds they were inside Isaac's loft, as the painter remembered it. It would be similar to his cabin, only more spacious, just as he'd left it. Though at what time they visited, whether paintings of Isaac's death were on display or not, would be left to the painter's mind. Outside the windows sounds of New York could be heard. All static background noise of the city life; no person could be seen, nor could they leave the loft and walk around the city. That was the true illusion.
"I thought a bit of home might be fitting." He said as if it were no big deal. Then Ted glanced down, and stared for several seconds. There on the floor was a painting of New York exploding (http://heroeswiki.com/Image:Painting_the_explosion.jpg). He should've expected that, but it still made him uncomfortable. "We could always go back to the forest if you want."
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He shook his head at Ted's offer, silently taking note of just how long his warden's gaze lingered on the painting on the floor. Maybe Isaac would have shared Ted's feelings on the subject at a different time, but when he turned his gaze to the window, his expression softened. It wasn't real, he knew that, but it was Manhattan, looking just as it had when he left. It gave him a sense of comfort, and he visibly relaxed at the thought of being back in his loft overlooking the city he had grown to love.
It took him a moment to snap back to reality and pull his eyes away from the window, but when he did, the cold, expectant glare returned as he waited for Ted to say something.
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The idea of the loft was decided on the more he read Isaac's file. The topic of conversation would present itself. Eventually. For now, Ted wandered leisurely as Isaac did. Unlike the inmate's explorations, Ted's were more timid and hesitant. Illusion or not, this was still the painter's home. He mostly wandered from painting to painting, keeping a respectful distance from each, as though he was visiting a museum. Though he wanted to tip-toe around the gigantic explosion, there was just no avoiding it.
Ted could feel the other watching him and ignored it. The silence continued on as he impulsively decided to remain quiet. He had said Isaac would do most of the talking, and he meant it.
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He followed Ted's movements around the explosion beneath his feet, still silent and still expectant. But it remained surprisingly silent for the next several minutes, the only sound in the illusion of the apartment being Ted's footsteps against the concrete floor. The silence was becoming uncomfortable, and it was obvious that Ted was turning Isaac's treatment right back around on him.
And it was working, becoming enough of a reason for the inmate to break the thick silence between them.
"There were paintbrushes as well," he spoke calmly, gesturing to the nearest painting (http://heroeswiki.com/Image:Isaac_dead_hollowed_out.jpg). There was a smug hint of matter-of-factness in his voice. "Through my wrists and ankles. I was essentially crucified and none of these show it."
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Ted examined the indicated painting closely, not hiding a grimace. The paintings here were so.. graphic. So vivid. He could imagine Isaac painting each one with desperation, but the outcome was the same each time. An unavoidable death. For the first time he felt a strange understanding of Isaac's burden. How he could paint over and over but only see a future he could not change.
And of all the topics Isaac could have chosen, he had to pick Sylar. The fact he was recently attacked made him think the choice wasn't coincidence.
"He's a sadistic monster," Ted replied as if that explained everything. "Though the crucifixion aspect is weird. Didn't take him for the religious sort."
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He watched, biting back a smirk at just how disturbed Ted seemed to be by the series of paintings. Isaac had learned to stomach a lot after his ability manifested, but he hadn't ever been quite strong enough to carry the burden of his gift. Still, he felt a certain satisfaction about the fact that he was able to handle something that Ted wasn't.
"Crucifixion isn't always religious" Isaac responded with a shrug. "And he's trying to change." He paused briefly, then switched th subject, not really wanting to strike up a fight with Ted over whether or not Sylar was still the man he once was. "I'd really prefer not to drag this out. I'm assuming you read my file, so ask me what you want to ask me and let me be on my way."
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Ted had tensed up as the conversation continued on about Sylar, and visibly relaxed a little when the topic veered away.
"You're in a hurry to leave this place?" He inquired, then after a pause, shrugged. He moved to lean against the railing near the door, certainly unaware it was a few steps from Peter's spot (http://heroeswiki.com/Image:Peter_in_Isaac%27s_apartment%2C_finished.jpg) so long ago. "Fair enough. The drugs. Start from there." He was trying to be as vague as possible, to lead Isaac to answers without specifically asking questions.
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He wasn't given much time to wonder, however, as Ted broke his thoughts with one of the most obvious starting points: the drugs. So he had read the file. At least his drug addiction had been no accident, and it wasn't the most painful thing to talk about.
"What about them?" He furrowed his brow and focused his stare on the window, obviously avoiding making eye contact. "I started when I was twenty-four, been through rehab twice. It's not an easy addiction to get over."
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"Why start on them at all?" He asked as a general statement. "Any particular reason you think the rehab didn't work?"
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"Stress," he replied simply, tossing the paintbrush back down onto the table. "Rehab failed because, no matter what they do to you there, they can't change what happens to you at home. You'll still be struggling to finish ten commissions and a comic book by the end of the week just to pay your rent."
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"So the drugs helped you to paint faster," he said. It could've been a statement, or a question. He left that for Isaac to decide. Ted wandered to the steps nearest him and sat down on the highest one. He was still staying as far away from that image of NY gone nuclear as much as he could.
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That had been a long-lasting effect on his paintings, but when his ability manifested, all of his voluntary creativity flew out the window. It had been a major hit to what remained of his confidence. Anything he wanted to paint was replaced by what the visions wanted him to paint. He paused, his eyes darkening as his gaze shifted to the painting on the floor again. "...Then I started painting things and not remembering painting them."
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No matter how much he wanted to avoid the obvious painting, it was like the pink elephant in the room. There wasn't any way to get around it. But Ted still wanted to for reasons he couldn't - or maybe would not - explain.
He wanted to say 'We don't have to talk about the bomb if you don't want to' and it was on the tip of his tongue. But he could almost hear Karen's disapproving voice in his head, telling him that this wasn't about what he wanted. Let Isaac decide the course of conversation.
So it was with some obvious hesitance that he finally said, "Please continue. I'm all ears, Isaac."
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Despite the scowl returning to his face, Isaac continued, his voice suddenly coated in bitterness. "That's when the visions started. Murders, cities in ruins, explosions--" His face flickered back to Ted. "The only way I could see the future was by shooting up."
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guiltfeeling.It didn't make sense. If something doesn't make sense, it's not true. Right? He shoved aside the.. inexplicable feeling. So why did he still feel tense?
"Right. I get it. You were trying to be a hero." He said, as calmly as he could, to keep the conversation going. But there was a slight edge to his voice, an agitation that hadn't been there before.
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But Ted didn't deserve to know about her. He didn't even deserve to read her name in his file, and if the warden even dared to utter her name, Isaac was sure he would snap.
"Never mind," he grumbled. "You're right. I was trying to stop it. I wanted to stop Peter from absorbing your ability even if it meant destroying my own life."
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"How did you know about Peter and I, but not Sylar?" Ted asked, giving Isaac a look that said 'We don't have to talk about her just yet.'
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"I did know about Sylar, but not in relation to that." He gestured to the painting on the floor yet again. He was having a hard time not bringing it up when the exploding man himself was standing there. "He was going to kill a cheerleader. That's all I knew. That--" he redirected his gesture, towards one of the paintings (http://heroeswiki.com/Image:Dead_isaac_series,_sylar.jpg) of his gruesome death. "--is the last time I painted him. I don't paint everything, Ted, and I never could choose which visions I wanted."
short tag is short. sorry, at work! D:
"Geez man... painting your own death. I can't imagine what that's like." He blurted out without thinking. Then rolled his eyes at his own idiocy. "Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that." Pointedly ignoring the explosion painting, yes indeed.
No problem. :D
"Waiting was difficult," he admitted with a nod. "But I wanted to die. It was the only way I could redeem myself for--for everything I did, and my ability was driving me to insanity."
Isaac paused and stopped in his tracks, whirling around to face Ted again. "Why am I even telling you this?"
It was more of a statement of his own surprise rather than a question. It was bewildering to even Isaac that he had even managed to share this much. It never had come easy, but some part of him did want to tell the whole story.
Still at work for next 3hrs. But on unofficial break!
"Because I'm trying to help you." Ted answered, even if the question hadn't really been directed at him. "Whatever you may think about me-" A quick gesture towards the floor, the first time he'd paid it any real notice. "-it's not true."
He waited a moment to let that sink in, before continuing. "If death was meant as redemption, I don't think it worked."
I think it's probably taken me 3 hours to respond to this. xD Yay, breaks~
"It did work," he grumbled beneath his breath in a bitter tone that anyone not within three feet of the painter would have trouble hearing. "Just not here. It means nothing here. The only heroic thing I've ever done and it's been taken from me."
WORK SUX. I'd have tagged via mobile lj but my phone's net faaails here. thus, work sux *more*
He sighed and stood up. "Look, I didn't bring you here to make you upset. I thought it'd help. Yeah it's not real, but it's the best I can do right now."
D: Ahhh. It's alright, though. ♥ No rush in replies~
His silence lasted for several minutes this time, while his eyes darted around the loft illusion, unsure of what to say next. It was a nice gesture, and the vision had relax him--until he remembered everything that had happened there. One deep sigh later, he broke the silence.
"Look, I appreciate it, and I can tell you're actually trying--which surprises me, by the way--but what help do you think you can be? I'm not here for the things I've done. I'm here because I'm an emotional mess."
He wandered as he spoke, his pacing leading him over to the large window. He rested an open palm against the cool glass, staring out into the faux Manhattan landscape.
"You can probably tell already that I constantly in circles, and being on the barge isn't helping me. You'd be better off trading me in for someone else so you can get whatever the Admiral promised you."
so... port. they should battle zombies together. yes/no? :D
In a strange way, he somehow felt as if he owed Isaac something. To give up on him now would almost seem like a betrayal.
Ted stood, and wandered to the center of the room. If he noticed the symbolism of standing on top of an explosion, he pointedly ignored it.
"We're all emotional messes. Myself included." This he said with a light shrug, a gesture of 'Well what can ya do?' "I wouldn't be better off, and neither would you. We can help each other, Isaac." He paused. Maybe better to end the meeting on a high note? "I don't expect you to admit that, or even realize it. Just something to think about."
He glanced to the door. "I think..." Sigh. Awkward. He had no clue how to actually end the meeting. "Well. We don't want to do too much on the first day."
D: Ahh. I already have him as staying on the barge. I figured he was too ~fragile~ and ~useless~.
Help each other. Like that was going to happen. Yes, Isaac had managed to share several aspects about himself and his ability that may not have been in his file, but it didn't feel as though anything had been accomplished. He felt just as much of a lost cause as he had since Jo left. Ted could never help him.
"Does that mean I can go?'
He'd also had enough of the illusion.
FAIL POST IS FAIL
"Yeah." He was at a loss for words so he simply moved toward the door.
FAIL POST IN RETURN.
It was just a shame that he'd have to go through it all again later.