Arthur Lester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lestercraft) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
lastvoyageslogs2026-06-22 10:53 am
lestercraft) wrote in lastvoyageslogs2026-06-22 10:53 am
Entry tags:
Thirty-Sixth Bar: Doit
WHO: Arthur and YOU
WHAT: Shenanigans!
WHERE: Around the Barge!
WHEN: Six Impossible Things flood!
WARNINGS: TBA, but probably not
One makes you tall (Mushrooms)
...listen.
Arthur is the last person who can claim he doesn't give in to the occasional thoughtless impulse. Sometimes curiosity just wins. Sometimes sticking a thing in your mouth is the quickest solution.
So sometimes he has tall-ass hare ears, brown at the base and silvery-white towards the ends, with a distinctly wavy kink to the streaked fur. Only the left has a pure-white tip, because the right is, rather raggedly, missing the top two inches or so, like something ripped it off. Paired with them is a matching cottontail, a bright white scut that sticks out from under his suit jacket (through a hole in his pants) like a target. Occasionally it even wiggles.
Sometimes it's donkey ears - the same missing portion but a pleasant sorrel-red with white fluffy insides and a black tip, and a matching red switch-tail.
He also gets made... small. Less than a foot tall, in total.
So after that he swears off the fucking things in case he gets something worse.
Wildcard!
[I have no other ideas atm so feel free to hit up Arthur with anything else!]
WHAT: Shenanigans!
WHERE: Around the Barge!
WHEN: Six Impossible Things flood!
WARNINGS: TBA, but probably not
One makes you tall (Mushrooms)
...listen.
Arthur is the last person who can claim he doesn't give in to the occasional thoughtless impulse. Sometimes curiosity just wins. Sometimes sticking a thing in your mouth is the quickest solution.
So sometimes he has tall-ass hare ears, brown at the base and silvery-white towards the ends, with a distinctly wavy kink to the streaked fur. Only the left has a pure-white tip, because the right is, rather raggedly, missing the top two inches or so, like something ripped it off. Paired with them is a matching cottontail, a bright white scut that sticks out from under his suit jacket (through a hole in his pants) like a target. Occasionally it even wiggles.
Sometimes it's donkey ears - the same missing portion but a pleasant sorrel-red with white fluffy insides and a black tip, and a matching red switch-tail.
He also gets made... small. Less than a foot tall, in total.
So after that he swears off the fucking things in case he gets something worse.
Wildcard!
[I have no other ideas atm so feel free to hit up Arthur with anything else!]
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"--and this is why you shouldn't just eat things you find in the hallway! Any number of dangerous things could've happened. Really, Jeep, I thought you were more sensible than--"
Movement at the corner of his eye catches his attention, and he turns to see Arthur with hare-ears almost brushing the ceiling. His eyebrows shoot up.
Jeep, with a nearly supersonic tiny chirp of smug victory, shoots off towards Arthur's face, circling his head twice before coming in for a landing on one of his ears.
See! Jeep's not the only one and therefore eating the mushrooms is a valid choice!
Hakkai stares at Arthur for a long moment more before announcing, "You're a bad influence."
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"Sorry, Jeep."
But the look he gives Hakkai's admonishment is a bit too amused. "Well, they haven't hurt anyone."
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He doesn't think they are poisonous -- and if they are, he suspects he could find healers on board to deal with it -- but really.
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"I think this is a little faster than twenty-four hours," he points out dryly.
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Hakkai sounds entirely too cheerful about this suggestion. It's the main giveaway that he's teasing.
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"Ah, luckily thanks to Wiktor's post, I'm pretty sure I recognise what they're- some oblique reference to. It's an English thing, unfortunately."
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He's noticed a definite bias towards things working the way they do in ghost stories and fairytales. He suspects the Barge of a low taste for metaphor.
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"In a sense. It's an old children's story called Alice in Wonderland, I remember reading it as a bedtime story myself when I was, er. A-anyway, one part of the story is Alice meeting this- giant caterpillar sitting on a mushroom, who tells her that 'one side will make you grow taller, the other side will make you grow shorter'."
He lifts a hand to pull his ear down to look at, marvelling internally at the way it's able to move and feel even now. "Though mind you, he didn't say anything about 'and the next mushroom over will make you look like the bloody March Hare'."
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Perhaps he's going to have to go find that story in the library, if it's there.
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He gestures to his ears. "Honestly the biggest concern might well be if anyone starts mimicking the Queen of Hearts and demanding 'off with your head' at everyone!"
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Mushrooms growing out of the walls are considerably stranger than decapitation, which does, he supposes, say some things about this ship.
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(But it does mean, given her speed, that she'll get behind him fast enough to see that tail before he whips around himself.)
And then he gives Ash a look that's more offended - and even then, huffy rather than annoyed - than upset. "Oh, you're very proud of yourself, aren't you?"
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"I don't know what you could possibly mean~?" It's the Ashton classic: the objectively she's giving a convincing and flawless lie, but there is no way in hell the situation lets that be anything near believable kind of lie.
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"Fucking brat." Though he doesn't bother trying to hide the warm amusement in his tone. "I'm a rabbit, not a mouse."
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They wish they could say they know this for literally any useful reason whatsoever? No. Practical experience helped, but they've just known this since they were twelve.
And then they go for another bap at the ears, because they're feeling remarkably shameless today.
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Says the man who's letting them get the baps in rather than walk away, and who looks a few seconds away from laughing.
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And then she goes for a third attempt, this time with a feint, because she is an objectively ridiculous creature sometimes.
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Because he falls for the feint, only to get his now forward-facing, curious-alert ears smacked again, and he can't stop the abrupt puff of laughter that escapes him. "Ashton!"
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"If I find any damn fur in my closet later, I'm entirely blaming you," he accuses with a wide grin.
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The threat is mostly - though not entirely - idle. She does borrow a lot from Sokie's wardrobe these days, at least when she's not having an awful week mentally.
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"That's a big bloody if. I know the three of you think I don't dress anywhere near interestingly enough to steal from."
Between their fucking Peacock King John and Sokie's elegant gemstone colours and Ashton's whatever they like.
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Smol Steed
You know, Arthur... you could probably ride around on my back like this.
Re: Smol Steed
That being said, it's John, so the threat isn't real, but the primal monkey brain still had the very strange ghost of a heart attack.
"Is that right?" He has to reach up to pat John, and his arms bury up to the elbows as they dig through his fluffy sideburns to access the scritching zones beneath both ears, but he's deeply amused. "You promise not to shake me off if I tug on a whisker by accident?"
Re: Smol Steed
Never, Arthur. I wouldn't ever.
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He's goosed his husband a few times before. This is no different. And just like Arthur is impulsive, Sheehan doesn't try and squash his harmless wants.
He can't resist taking a handful of that fuzzy tail and giving him a playful squeeze as he walks by.
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As it is, Sheehan will feel the jolt run up Arthur's tail and makes him snap to attention like he just got electrocuted, ears whipping up to high alert - and a thoroughly
inappropriateundignified yelp of surprise.And he whips around to give Sheehan a-- okay it's very much a scandalised look, ears pitching back like they can't decide what angle to sit on, and his face has gone bright red.
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And his ears pitch forward a little more, as he gives Sheehan a more unimpressed look.
"Don't make that face at me, doctor," he grumbles, but it's all bark no bite, as he goes to smooth his jacket back down from his alarm-spasm. Tugging it down a little to firmly to try (and fail) to hide his tail.
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He lowers his voice to a pretend whisper. "That would have been quite embarrassing, you know. Here. Allow me to help." And he reaches for his jacket.
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"If you're going to be an ass again," he mutters, for Sheehan's ears only. "Then perhaps not out here."
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"Thank you, doctor." Then he scoops two fingers under the knot in Sheehan's tie and tugs sharply him in, the same motion loosening the tie while Arthur kisses him properly on the lips.
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"I love you," he murmurs against his mouth.
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With a positively devious little smirk as he releases the tie.
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"I look forward to it," he says once he has his bearings again.
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And she presented him with...a carrot.
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"Of course." And he rolls his eyes, but he takes a bite and starts fiddling with it, in sharp, energetic motions like he's cleaning the non-existent dirt off it, and slides into a much more full-on New Yawk accent. "Okay, now watch me. I'm gonna use number one. Keep an eye on that thumb, baby, and see what happens."
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"Oh yeah, the number one?"