Father Oscar (
unilaterallydisarming) wrote in
lastvoyageslogs2026-02-13 09:21 pm
Entry tags:
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Who: Oscar and you!
Where: The Gym, The Lounge, going between the Dining Hall and his cabin, the chapel, the Pool
The day after the heartbreak happened, he went to see Sheehan so he could finally get some rest. He hadn't been able to all the night before, and see to his hand, which he had scraped his hand doing...nothing in particular.
After he had spoken with the good doctor, he went to his cabin, and cleaned up. But, while he was respectful, and quiet, there was something there that was diminished. Some drank their sorrow; Oscar...tried anything but.
He didn't let anyone into his cabin, for one, but he could be seen, even with the cats around, hopping hither and yon on the Barge. Instead, he ended up bring a cart- one that some people might know was John's cart- from the dining hall, loading meals, and going back to his cabin with the door locked.
He did sometimes go to the Lounge, but he didn't ask for a drink. Mostly, he just sat there, quiet and miserable, away from the bar, until he could stand it no longer, and left. He did...what job he normally did at the Pool, but not with the hours of care he normally did- mostly he tried to make sure people had access and things didn't smell. He seemed to find some kind of peace at the chapel, but he didn't kneel in prayer.
Mostly he sat quietly on one of the benches in thought. Which was...at least better then when he tried to punch out all the excess emotions on the punching bag in the Gym. Mostly he just ended up punching it until he got knocked back, was breathless, or his knuckles were scrapped raw.
At least he tried to clean up after himself. And, interestingly enough, avoid the visiting cats while they were here.
Where: The Gym, The Lounge, going between the Dining Hall and his cabin, the chapel, the Pool
When: From the 12th to the flood
What: In resisting his vice, he experiences a broken heart.
Warnings: Noticeably during the Cat Plot he will NOT be allowing anyone into his cabin unless his inmate gives permission. May be alcoholism talk!
The day after the heartbreak happened, he went to see Sheehan so he could finally get some rest. He hadn't been able to all the night before, and see to his hand, which he had scraped his hand doing...nothing in particular.
After he had spoken with the good doctor, he went to his cabin, and cleaned up. But, while he was respectful, and quiet, there was something there that was diminished. Some drank their sorrow; Oscar...tried anything but.
He didn't let anyone into his cabin, for one, but he could be seen, even with the cats around, hopping hither and yon on the Barge. Instead, he ended up bring a cart- one that some people might know was John's cart- from the dining hall, loading meals, and going back to his cabin with the door locked.
He did sometimes go to the Lounge, but he didn't ask for a drink. Mostly, he just sat there, quiet and miserable, away from the bar, until he could stand it no longer, and left. He did...what job he normally did at the Pool, but not with the hours of care he normally did- mostly he tried to make sure people had access and things didn't smell. He seemed to find some kind of peace at the chapel, but he didn't kneel in prayer.
Mostly he sat quietly on one of the benches in thought. Which was...at least better then when he tried to punch out all the excess emotions on the punching bag in the Gym. Mostly he just ended up punching it until he got knocked back, was breathless, or his knuckles were scrapped raw.
At least he tried to clean up after himself. And, interestingly enough, avoid the visiting cats while they were here.

Gym
"Shit," she mutters the second time she sees the bag rebound on him. Then, actually pitched deliberately for him to hear, "You need a spotter before you break something."
Given she heads in his direction, giving wide enough berth that he can't hit her by mistake if he's too tunnel-visioned to notice her approach, she's volunteering.
Re: Gym
Ah, that was...he couldn't remember her name just then.
"Thank you but-I'm not sure how a spotter on a punching bag works." He was trying to be polite, kind, though he was a little...distracted.
Re: Gym
“Steadying that so it does not rebound and hit you in the face,” she says, with a nod toward the bag. “For one thing.”
Re: Gym
"That...I would appreciate it very much." He nodded to her. "Thank you. I'm-Oscar by the way."
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cw: human trafficking, sexual exploitation
Re: cw: human trafficking, sexual exploitation
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"This can't be good for you. Scoot over a little, please," she tells him, so she can sit next to him rather than across, the better to hug him. "That one's cucumber lime, and the other is grapefruit lemon honey. I'll drink either, so you get first pick."
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Obedient, he scooted, and looked up to his sister. He looked drained, but he didn't smell of liquor at least. Even when he spoke.
But the lemon...he thought of the soft sweets that were supposed to help give him sweet dreams, he winced.
"The cucumber lime please." He offered a wan smile. "I know this isn't good for me, but I couldn't sit at home tonight."
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"Then you sit with me," Maggie says, as if it's already decided. She pulls the grapefruit glass toward her. "And come home with me after. We can eat delicious food and watch movies and fall asleep on the couch together, and you won't have to be alone. That's a standing offer-slash-request, by the way, whenever you aren't up for sitting at home."
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"I'm not very hungry, but I will have to return home tonight. Mostly to...assure someone of something."
To prove to Vincent he hadn't been binge drinking. Or drunk at all. "Actually- Maggie, this may be odd but- is there a way to test that? If someone has been drinking?"
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lounge
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...
Not here for more than a few minutes.
He sits, frozen in a corner booth and watches him take a seat. He wants to leave, wants to walk but for just a minute longer he makes himself look at what he did. He can see it plain as day on the man's face and it makes him feel a little sick.
Hes the jackass who so carefully explained to Folgate that Oscar was not a man you played with, he deserved gentle, loving hands and careful devotion. And then he couldn't keep his fucking greedy, desperate hands off him and broke the poor man's heart.
He frowns down into his glass, the rich amber calling to him and he finishes it before he gets up from his chair and head down, leaves the lounge, incapable of walking a straight line. He chances one last glance like a shot to the heart and he's out the door.
He doubts Oscar wants to see his face right now anyways. He wouldn't either.
Re: Not here for more than a few minutes.
He'd come up here because he knew Oscar was going up and he figured that if he was there, with him, he wouldn't insist again on potentially doing the breathalyzer test for him as if to prove his sobriety. And he's seen some of the text messages that Varker's sent; if that was all, he would leave it well enough alone. He's not strong, not powerful, not brilliant enough at anything that matters to be able to do anything about this sort of thing.
But when he catches Varker giving looks over at Oscar, and when he catches Oscar looking guilty for a moment over it, that's when he can't stop himself, can't help himself. He stands up and walks over to Varker and he feels like a man possessed as the words come out, even if the only thing stringing him forward is his own emotions, his own desire to protect and look out for and do something for someone who in their short time together has used every moment of it trying to be better for him.
"If the next word or emoji or glance or whatever you send his way is not the words 'I'm sorry', so help me-"
And he just shakes his head. Just... just don't.
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The tone is definitely unamused, slurred and decidedly shitty.
"I'm sorry," wrong person, dumbass, "who the fuck are you, again?"
Re: Not here for more than a few minutes.
It would be so easy for him to stop this if it was a matter of misdirected frustration. If this was 'I'm angry so I'm going to hit you because my boyfriend's an idiot', his arm wouldn't even lift. If it was 'I'm still an inmate while that shitty furball gets to gallivant off into the sunset with his shitty boyfriend', he would be able to remind himself that graduation has nothing to do with goodness and wardens have little to do with being morally upright and keep his fingers uncurled. If it was just 'this place is run by bullies and morons who think that individual heroics are a substitute for basic boundaries of decency', his arm would not have swung back of its own accord.
But because it's about Oscar, about someone who's done nothing but actually support him how he needed, actually question him the way he's wanted someone to, actually listened, actually made himself better for him-
That's why he punches Varker in the jaw as hard as he can as he answers-
"Someone who actually gives a shit about him, that's who!"
His knuckles are going to ache and the tension is going to fuck his shoulder and the form is awful because of course it is. But he has to do something. He has to.
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outside the chapel
And he really doesn't look very well. Hakkai sits back on his heels, a concerned frown pinching his eyebrows together.
"...Oscar?" he says, a little diffident. "What's wrong?"
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"It's...well. It's all right." He paused after a few moments. "No, it isn't. But I-I suppose...I just had a sharp reminder of the way of things. Foolishness, on my part."
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Because he's familiar with that sort of self-defeating comfort.
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"If you're going to exchange one vice with another, at least pick one that isn't as destructive as the one you're replacing."
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His hand felt a little numb from the punches.
"Well, I didn't exactly have instructions." His voice was gentle. Wry, as he looked to Abaurycy in the eyes. "You have a suggestion?"
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Lounge
"So. What did Clem do, sweetheart? Tell Norton."
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"Tried to tempt me to drink again. When I refused, he said I only kissed him thanks to my addiction." His voice was quiet, and dull.
And sober.
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"For a genius, he really is a complete idiot."
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