[ This has all been very weird lately. How the hell did morphine and oxycotin go missing? Whoever did this obviously had infirmary access and long enough infirmary access to hide the evidence. It's all quite odd and worrying and—

Ah, wait. There's someone here. Hilbert looks up, giving Alan a little nod before, ]

Of course. Please sit down and tell me the problem.

Of course, [ Hilbert says with a nod. Standing up, he makes his way to the medicine cabinet, talking as he does so. ]

Do you have any pre-existing conditions that would prevent you from taking certain medications?

Please do not pop advil like children's vitamins, [ Hilbert sighs. ] I do not want to deal with hepatitis on this ship.

But that is why you need advil, [ Hilbert continues. He get that shrug. He gets that feeling. Sometimes you get giant migraines. ]

I can give you enough to help deal with current migraine, as well as spare dose for next migraine. But after that, I highly recommend you swap out medication for different brand. Mostly to spare liver, after all.

Admiral has decided that outright murder is not problem, [ Hilbert sasses. ] But scars, ailments, infirmaries? Those linger. Until one is murdered again, of course.

[ It's obvious that Hilbert has a LOT of feelings about the whole 'murder a week' thing. ]

Mmm, most people do not think about something like that, [ Hilbert shrugs. ]

I do not think the idea of death toll versus lingering symptoms cross people's minds until they deal with it themselves.

Fun is nice way of saying 'aggravating.'

[ Hilbert gives Alan a gentle shrug before pushing the bottle of advil in his direction. ]

I am not one for gentle terms. But I know others might appreciate it.

[ In a week or so from now, Hilbert's going to have all the resources in the world for holes in memory. As it is, he simply shrugs. ]

Dr. Sheehan, perhaps? I believe he is only trained psychologist on board.

Are you asking me if there is anyone who has experience with missing memories who isn't psychologist? The profession trained to deal with mental issues such as missing memories?

[ Though he doesn't outright say it, Hilbert's tone of voice implies that he thinks Alan just asked a stupidass question. ]

Then ask the vampires, aliens, or Eldritch god what they think instead of ordinary human with multiple Ph.Ds.

I am sure one of our ridiculous wizards has some magic spell for poking around in your head and seeing all your memories. But I also know that basic concepts like 'ethics' and 'patient privacy' might be foreign to them. If I have someone helping me work through something undoubtedly sensitive—which is what your situation must be, do not try to tell me otherwise—I would like knowledge that they at least have some idea of what they are doing. Some idea of code of conduct.

I would guess that vast majority of infirmary staff has not heard of hippocratic oath in first place.

Welcome to Barge, [ Hilbert dryly responds. Yes, he knows that the ethics of this place are fucked. Yes, he knows it's that bad. ]

Graduate from medial school. Multiple other Ph.D.s, served as medical officer on multiple deep-space missions. Focus is on virology, but I have experience in biology, general medicine, and chemistry. Served as personal physician to multiple people during my inmate years. Credentials that do not mean much to various wizards and magicians, but should mean much to man who knows Hippocratic oath.

Perfectly acceptable. I know others feel the same, so you will not be alone.