(Zombie Memory Here)

James felt like he was going mad. Every morning waking up with another hole in his memory, only to have it filled with something that doesn't fit. A square peg being jammed into a round hole. It's enough to have him disoriented, acting spacey and distant at times.

On one of the days, he goes out back to the ocean and sits in the surf, letting the water rise up to rush over his feet and soak into his pants without a care. He just... spends hours out there staring out into the waves hoping that whatever he's forgotten, whatever he's lost, will somehow come back if he's somewhere familiar. But it doesn't.

Instead, as he ends up drifting, rising to his feet to head back into his home for another bottle of something, a memory strikes him. He shudders as it plays like a horror film behind his eyes, moving across the sand while being a mile away in a post-apocalyptic world with some kind of people stricken by fungus, driven mad with the hunger for flesh. It's unnerving to see himself, or some version of himself, from the eyes of someone else. Someone who loves him and is suffering with seeing him, trying to save him, feeling guilty for being unable to...

Silver is there too, you both are fighting so hard and Mason is absolutely being torn apart with all of this. Then it happens so fast. Barely a few heartbeats.

"NO!!" Little does James know but he shouts this outside of the memory.

Silver is attacked and you have to make a decision. In a blink, it's a death sentence and you feel yourself shatter. Hands shaking. James falls to kneel in the sand as he watches himself die, not once, but twice and he feels everything from Mason, or Raylan, every ounce of suffering, every knife of guilt and blame, the fear, the panic, the shame, the grief.

A mournful cry is pulled from his chest despite himself as his fingers dig into the sand and he's released from the memory, chest heaving, aching, throat sore from his roar of anguish. His face is streams of tears, tears Raylan was too broken to cry, wetting the soft dry sand under his hands. He's trembling, disoriented. He wants to wretch, head too dizzy, alcohol mixing in a bad way with everything else overwhelming him.