T'Pol (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
maytakecenturies) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
lastvoyages2016-03-27 05:50 pm
maytakecenturies) wrote in lastvoyages2016-03-27 05:50 pm
O21 | SPAM + TEXT
[Open Spam]
[Directly after the flood, T'Pol is in no small amount of pain. Of course this is the only place in the universe - multiverse - where you can suffer the consequences of killing yourself. It's difficult to come to grips with, and for a time, T'Pol just stays curled on her side in her quarters, protecting a wound that is no longer there. She doesn't stay there long, though: eventually, fear - concern - propels her up off the floor and our into the Barge.
She searches out certain people, scanning the halls and public areas for her erstwhile family. That feels wrong: they aren't her family, they weren't her family, but they were Theodosia's, and she was--
Thinking about it just makes it worse. She looks for all of them, even the ones who weren't there when she died. She looks until she can't, and collapses in her room again. It's the most weakness she's put on display since coming here, and she's not sure what to think of that, either.]
[Public Text]
[This, at least, she can be certain of: this, at least, she didn't have to receive as second hand.]
Private Sledge is no longer aboard. Neither is Snafu.
[Private separately to Luna, Eggsy, Barbara]
I won't be available to work for a few days.
[Directly after the flood, T'Pol is in no small amount of pain. Of course this is the only place in the universe - multiverse - where you can suffer the consequences of killing yourself. It's difficult to come to grips with, and for a time, T'Pol just stays curled on her side in her quarters, protecting a wound that is no longer there. She doesn't stay there long, though: eventually, fear - concern - propels her up off the floor and our into the Barge.
She searches out certain people, scanning the halls and public areas for her erstwhile family. That feels wrong: they aren't her family, they weren't her family, but they were Theodosia's, and she was--
Thinking about it just makes it worse. She looks for all of them, even the ones who weren't there when she died. She looks until she can't, and collapses in her room again. It's the most weakness she's put on display since coming here, and she's not sure what to think of that, either.]
[Public Text]
[This, at least, she can be certain of: this, at least, she didn't have to receive as second hand.]
Private Sledge is no longer aboard. Neither is Snafu.
[Private separately to Luna, Eggsy, Barbara]
I won't be available to work for a few days.
[Private]
[Private]
[Snaf wasn't, certainly - not an enemy, explicitly, but she didn't trust him very far. And Gene - right now, Gene feels like family, and she can't shake a memory of him with Rheumatic fever as a child, ill and in danger while all she could do was watch and wait.
That wasn't her. Logically, she knows that. Emotionally, she's struggling, a lot.]
I'll be in as soon as I can handle kitchen utensils.
[Private]
Oh - but perhaps you shouldn't be alone. I'll send Mr. Rogers after you, shall I?
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He wasn't really your brother, she chides herself. You didn't even know him. But not really knowing him is precisely what makes disentangling herself from their breach relationship hard, and she knows that when she remembers him, she's always going to remember him as the little brother she'd loved instead of as the warden she'd barely known.]
thanks for telling everybody
[It's the second warden-inmate pair to be announced as vanished today, too. She can't even begin to imagine what that means, if it means anything at all.]
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Are you all right?[She sends it, and deletes it almost immediately.]
It needed to be noted.
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i wish i could have known him for real
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Is it okay if I bring you something to eat later?
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If it's vegetarian.
Private > Spam
Alright. I'll see you in a bit.
[And so later that evening he appears at the door, with mushroom soup and a bread roll. He taps on her door.]
T'Pol? It's me. I brought soup. You want me to just leave it outside?
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But she's surprised to see the Vulcan approaching her.]
T'Pol? Is everything all right?
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You--
[Her voice scrapes a little, and she stops, swallowing. She holds herself tensely to give a facade of strength - to keep from swaying.]
You survived the breach? [She shouldn't care but--]
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spam!
He usually just comes to her room - when he does, though, he always uses the chime. He doesn't barge in unless it's an emergency.]
spam!
[She doesn't usually just allow for someone to enter when she's not expecting them, but it's a slightly bizarre time, right now. She looks up when he enters; she's sitting on the edge of her bed, bent forward, looking to relieve the pressure of a wound that just doesn't exist. Her head has been pounding, but it's not her concern, not right now.]
I saw that Sergeant Barnes is gone. I'm--
[She very nearly just spits out some Humanism, but she stops and reaches for what she feels more strongly.] I grieve with thee. [Translating ancient Vulcan into English is clunky, in her opinion, but your native language always sounds better.]
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You knew them?
[She is feeling protective. Just a bit.]
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[Still, she would expect to have been closer to them. Family is family, isn't it? And yet Theodosia was someone to torment. She doesn't even remember the woman's real name until a few days after the breach ends, until she's managed to sort the threads of reality from fantasy, or from someone else's memory.]
[It's hard to say whether she's been sought out deliberately or not, but they pass in the library, perhaps by coincidence, and she stops. Stops, looks at T'Pol, considers her.]
[And then she pulls her lips back, showing her teeth. Half-instinct, half-deliberate. She's far more vicious in this world, after all.]
spam
But in the hall, when she finally spots Lila - not Kishibe, she knows that isn't right though she isn't sure what the correct answer is - she has to maintain a certain appearance, one that slipped, badly, when they first returned from the breach. She sees that display of teeth and stops, wondering silently at how strange Humans are as a species, where such a gesture can be amiable or threatening.
She arches one slanted eyebrow in return, and doesn't look away. She believes most people are more vicious than they may appear.]
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[Not that it would really matter less if they weren't, but.]
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I knew them. [It's as much as she can manage.]
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Private
Do you need anything?
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[It's always hard to read tone with her, but she means it as amiably as she can.]
I'll be well enough in a few days.
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However, she's looking. And he isn't actively avoiding her. So she's standing in the middle of a common room when he walks by, and he can't quite hurry past.]
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Tommy--
[And she does reach out, hand brushing his arm before pulling back. She regrets speaking, regrets getting caught in the idea of being Tommy and Theo, because she isn't, because he isn't, because this is so much harder than the last breach. Her jaw clenches, and suddenly she doesn't know what to say. He looks well enough, and that was all she wanted to find out.]
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She is getting better about trusting that the food will always be there, but the attack on the kitchen is still too fresh in her mind to actually let her stop coming in so often. So she's there, when T'Pol comes in, with her usual tray of two plates. She's made her way through the first one and she's got her head down as she works on the second, but... something tugs at her, makes her look up, and as soon as she does she spots T'Pol and her face crumples, just a little.
It's gone in a flash though, quickly paved over with a blank slate, and she lifts a hand to acknowledge they've seen each other before ducking her head down to go back to her food and try to stand up against the flood of memories that are making her food taste like ash in her mouth.]
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That look is enough to make her want to head toward her, even if she struggles with the why of it, but she makes herself wait, holds still until Rey's hand comes up. Then she heads directly to her table, foregoing any food of her own. It will only feed her nausea, right now.
She sits across from Rey without asking permission, mostly because she's still weak, and common sense tells her to hide it. It's a moment before she speaks.]
You look uninjured.
[It's awkward, and she knows it is, but it's the important thing, right now. That the others made it out safe.]
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