Video; Open

[Boyd's been back to normal for a few days, but he holds off speaking on the network until after the flood's receded, to avoid confusing any kids.]

Well, it just goes to show, we can always count on the Admiral for an untimely reminder that the aspirations of one's youth are unrealistic and downright embarrassin'. I truly hope y'all were entertained.

[At least he doesn't sound quite as cynical as he might have.]

For Venus, an engraved silver bracelet

For Omar, a gold chain with some sorta religious medal on it. I don't think there's a patron saint of gangsters, so maybe St. Christopher, seein' as how we're travelers here.

For Ricki, some fancy imported tea, from Singapore, maybe.

For Tiffany, a good camera, so she can take pictures of all the people she loves; start a scrapbook or somethin'.

For Tiffany and Ricki, a sanctuary lamp for the chapel, with the ability to stay endlessly alit.

For Jim, a bottle of really good bourbon. Pappy Van Winkle comes to mind.

For Sebastian, you ain't got to worry about that; I got it covered.

For Iris, if you go back a couple of years while Mags Bennett was still alive, a jar of that apple pie moonshine she used to make. Minus the poison. And while you're down in Harlan, you be sure and pick up some coal for your own stockin'.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not embarrassing in the least.

Maybe not for you.

I realize this doesn't help much, but I thought it was nice, getting to meet you as a boy. A rare opportunity. And you were hardly an embarrassing child.

You might not be be sayin' that if I'd gotten the opportunity to pick your pocket.

That might be annoying, but not exactly embarrassing.

My point is, you'd be less likely to categorize the experience as 'nice' had that occurred.

Perhaps not, but it wouldn't have altered my opinion.

(no subject)

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You were an adorable child. [She grins.] A bit of a handful but that's to be expected.

I think my old elementary school teachers might disagree. You were lucky I was distracted by the shiny spaceship.

Teachers can be remarkably narrow-minded. [Which is not to say she can't feel some sympathy for any teacher who had to deal with Boyd.]

You sure were excited to be in space, but what kid wouldn't be? At least you weren't scared like some of the other poor kids.

Well, rigid, anyway. [Kids like Boyd making it necessary.]

You can probably tell, that used to be kind of a dream of mine. I wasn't gonna waste time bein' scared.

If you think about it, it's a dream you've fulfilled. Not in any way you would've chosen, admittedly, but here you are in space.

And speaking of childish behavior [Hers, not yours], I apologize for Vincent giving you attitude. He was profoundly disconcerted by the whole thing, at least until he started to put the pieces together.

[That provokes a hollow-sounding laugh.] And the Lord works in mysterious ways, ain't that the truth! [Said in his preacher voice, but not exactly reverently.]

It's all right. You can hardly blame him.

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Was everyone equally effected then?

Well, I can't speak for everyone, but in my experience, the word 'equally' ain't an entry in the Barge's lexicon.

I mean: did everyone find themselves transformed into a child?

I don't believe so, no.

The aftermath might have been far more dire had that been the case, I suppose.

Well, I don't know. At least kids wouldn't be so inclined to brutally kill everyone.

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I liked you at that age. You were so- enthralled.

[Wryly-] Well, I guess that's one way to put it.

[And then, more softly-] The space program was a big thing when I was a kid, with men walkin' on the moon and all. It caught my imagination more'n most. Later on, when I was in high school, Alan Shepard from Apollo 14—he was the astronaut who played golf on the moon—he came to talk at the school, flew in on a helicopter and landed right on the football field. It was pretty much the biggest thing that ever happened to us.

Someone plays golf on the moon?

[Says Ricki, who hasn't yet come to that little peccadilo of history.]

Wow.

Well, he hit a couple of balls. He figured they probably went for about a mile because of the zero gravity.

--hah, I was just about to say 'I'd love to be an astronaut,' but I caught myself.

Somebody's liable to sock you in the mouth if you say that.

private

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