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[Video]

So people like cute pet videos, right?

[Carl you have like sixty trillion social media followers.

He has no idea what he's doing, but. Considering the shitshow? He's gonna borrow a page out of Bea's book. She always had Donut videos ready to go whenever she and her friends got into fights or whatever. It's supposed to cheer people up. Sadly, Donut is her own social media manager now.

Which means Carl's just shooting like three straight unedited minutes of Rend rolling around and giggling. Rend sure looks like a giant meatball with feet, giant googly eyes, a gaping and buck-toothed grin, and no other features to speak of. The difference between Rend and a meatball are mostly academic. About halfway through, Carl tosses a shoe his direction and the giggling gets louder.

Rend is always having a good time.]

Anyway, if anyone needs a break from rebuilding efforts, come try and beat our frogger high score.

[Private to Bob]

Hey.

[Spam]

[Carl spends the immediate aftermath wherever there seems to be a mess. Is his brain boiling a little with all the wild shit he could build out of this debris? Yeah. But it's fine. Nobody needs to blow up anything else at the moment. Or any siege equipment. Amphibious assault vehicles. The usual.

He does make sure to spend a bit of time at the library, though. Because he should, and, well fucked if he doesn't feel a little territorial over the job.]

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[It starts as a surprise, the laugh that comes out of him. And then he watches more, and he's chuckling. But as he plays the video over again its just funnier, and more bizarre, the details he's noticing.

If this did the rounds on tiktok, he would have heard about it from his interns, and he responds, still laughing, but more reserved for the camera. This is one of his very rare video appearances on the network.]

What the fuck is it, Carl? Don't get me wrong, I love what ever it is, but christ...

[Excuse him, he started laughing again.]

Edited 2026-05-19 02:50 (UTC)

Sir Rendelgore? He's, uh, the intestinal parasite of an alien giant? If that's true. Dungeon lore is bullshit a lot of the time but so's reality.

[Rend comes toddling up to Carl at the sound of voices, the patpatpatpatpat of his footsteps surprisingly loud for a creature the size of a basketball.>

Cute? Uh...

[Maybe not.]

Is that here on the ship?

Yeah, he came along with me.

What kind of pet is it, exactly?

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Thanks for coming to get me... I guess.

You're welcome.

[No guessing.]

...I don't think even my aunt would want your pet-thing though...

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[This alien’s seen a lot of aliens by now, but that sure is a thing!]

Huh. Yeah, I think that’ll do it. Thanks for sharing!

Happy to help.

You’ve probably got yourself an interesting story there, huh?

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goddammitdonut - 2026-05-25 00:43 (UTC) - Expand

Hi.

[Slightly awkward but not unfriendly.

Then he adds, because he saw that video too:]

You actually have a weirder pet than me.

Rend is normal to himself. How many of us can say that?

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What's frogger?

Old school video game.

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[ This message reminded him that there exists such a thing as gaming. He hadn't touched his Switch in a while. ]

This young monk accepts that challenge.

[ High score sounds like it would be a game. Right? ]

What is Frogger?

Big old arcade machine.

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I want to start planning for the next one...

Which is stupid.

But my body has not got the signal that it is over and that I should calm down. It's still just as scared.

Oh, yeah, that'll... That'll get you. Uh.

[He sees this is the place where he could make a well-meaning suggestion, and even if it's not useful, it'll be the correct placeholder for the conversation. Only. What has he done to calm down since the world ended? Has he calmed down for one second since he's been on the magic boat?

The answer also probably shouldn't be cigarettes. Feels unethical, even if they're all outside normal causality.]

The plans you already did are pretty transferable.

Video game. Kind of an old one.

What...is it?

[She really wants to hate it. For the giggling as much as the...flesh...situation. She's not sure she does, which is disconcerting.]

An alien giant's intestinal parasite? Uh, originally. Kinda like... Okay, you know Mongo?

Look at him. He's having a great time.

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