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Alright, whoever the fuck you assholes are--

[Blitzø is already talking as the video starts, his expression a mix of confused and angry and what appears to be a sheet draped over him?]

But I'll ask nice once: Put me the fuck back where you took me from, I didn't sign up for yet another shit-stained boat fuckfest. I just got used to the last one! So send me back and I won't see if I can fill this place with enough holes to let us reenact that shitty sinking boat movie.

[He turns off the video and then immediately flicks it back on.]

And where the fuck are my clothes?!

[spam]

[Having woken up in an unfamiliar cabin with no idea where he was and no sign of anyone else around, Blitzø immediately steals the sheet off the bed for some kind of 'disguise' and leaves the room to try and figure out what is going on or find someone and beat answers out of them. The sheet has the amazing effect of somehow making him stand out even more as he looks like a particularly odd-shaped ghost dragging a solid foot of fabric behind him as he walks.

He starts opening doors at random and poking his head in, looking for anyone he and get answers out of, one way or another.]

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You’ve been in a coma. The Admiral sent us on vacation while the Barge is refurbished. Welcome back. Stolas has been looking after you. …Do you need some help?

Refurbished? What, he can't just magic it all good like everything else?

[He doesn't buy that but also there's that bit about Stolas and...]

Wait, Stolas is why I don't have pants?

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[For a moment, Durge thinks Bhaal has somehow sent him a new butler. They're small, wrenched little things, and this little creature somewhat fits the bill, but he gets up from his desk and steps up to his cabin door and no, that is definitely not sent by his father. He has no idea what he's looking at, though it looks vaguely... fiendish.

More importantly: why the hell did it just burst into his cabin?]

You'd best have a good reason for disturbing me.

[Blitzø doesn't recognise this asshole and blinks at him for a moment, considering. The ears say 'elf' but there's something fucked up with the eyes, not that he's really one to talk, and otherwise he doesn't have much else to go on.]

What, you weren't disturbed before I got here?

[He gives the man a toothy grin.] Guess you haven't been on the Admiral's fuckfest for that long then, he lives on disturbing everyone.

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The one who took you is named Stolas. I was very cross at the time but he'd had a rough day apparently and baring any commentary from you while conscious to the contrary, as per my employment here, I had to let him keep you.

I'll be happy to tell you what room I'm in now.

He did? [And they spoke to each other. He knows it's stupid to think that they wouldn't have ever spoken but. Blitzø is suddenly aware that he can't just pretend some things will just work themselves out either.]

Uh, sure? I can stop by if you're not busy right now...

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spam

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Astarion looks up from the bed he's sprawled across when his cabin door opens, eyebrow hitching. He was so sure he'd locked -

"Ah. Welcome back, darling."

"Astarion?" He's a little surprised, but not complaining about seeing the vampire and immediately drops the sheet to wander further into the room. There's no asking about if the elven man minds; Blitzø just clambers up onto the bed and sprawls out. He's wearing boxers and a shirt so at least he's not completely naked?

"The fuck happened? I feel like I just had a nap but apparently Admiral fucker kicked us all out?"

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Oh! You're awake!

[Blitz would get to see Aerith in a pink bikini- and the sight of a scar on her stomach. Though she was pick to pick up a sarong and cover it.

Her book was dropped as she stood up, surprised. If he looked, the cover was something about cowboys and horses.]

Blitz right?

Uh, yeah.

[It takes him a moment to place her since he's certain he remembers the face from somewhere but once he does he winces a little.]

Oh shit, you were in that fucked up flood, weren't you?

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[ oh, this was too good to ask for. he has a good idea who's under that sheet and the vampire absolutely plans to have a little fun when he sees the Blitz-sized ghost ahead.

Eric flashes towards him at breakneck speed (guess who has his powers back?) and stops behind him, stepping on the edge of the sheet so it slides off him as he keeps moving. if the imp doesn't realize it, he'll see the vampire with a shit-eating grin saying: ]

Peek-a-boo, I see you.

[Blitzø does have a grip on the sheet but Eric is bigger and stronger than him and for a moment he thinks that the sheet is just caught on something and pulls as he takes a step--

Which is when his foot slips on the puddle of fabric around him and he immediately faceplants on the deck. Despite the thump, Blitzø immediately pushes himself back up.]

Hey fucker, so you're here too huh?

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"Um." The (entirely green) young woman he just walked in on is staning in the middle of a cabin, between two beds and in front of an elaborate chemistry set, complete with liquids of various colors bubbling up through tubes and dripping into vials. She's wearing a lab coat and safety goggles, with a beaker of something purpleish in one hand and a pipette in the other. "Can I... help you?"

Looks, it's not the weirdest thing to have ever barged in on her unexpectedly.

Blitzø takes in the whole situation and immediately closes the door behind him. "Oh fuck yes. What are you cooking? Meth?"

Look he's from Hell, there's really only one use for science he's seen down there...

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Abel had just been about to open the door to go down to the wet dock, maybe read a book when the knob turns, and there is Blitz's face, draped in a sheet. "O-oh! Um, hello?" He'd seen Cain talk with Stolas after the announcement of his stasis, hadn't done much more than glance to give him his privacy despite the public nature of it.

He's got a good nine inches on Blitz, hadn't actually met him in person, and now he's feeling a little weird about how he's just right there, eyes at chest height. He takes a step back just so they're not so close, "Are you alright? Did you just get up?"

Blitzø blinks for a moment as his brain realises that it's Abel. And then he realises that it's Abel. As the blond man takes a step back, Blitzø follows, entering his room proper because he's pretty sure Abel isn't the type to leave him unsupervised in here and will stay as well.

"Apparently. Thought I was on a different fucking ship all over again. Not that the Admiral just fucking got rid of all of us."

He drops the sheet and he's in a loose tee and boxers as he climbs up on Abel's bed to take a seat. Then he just... eyeballs Abel for a moment. They've never met in person and he's curious given what he's learned about him from Cain already.

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Hey, asshole. Welcome back.

Hey bitch, what's the fucking bar like here?

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Askani meditation is best done lotus-style, floating upside down. Fortunately, Madelyne still has enough power to manage that; unfortunately, it's not enough to maintain it when her door slams open unexpectedly.

She manages to bang her shoulders more than her head, but she's still an aching tangle of limbs when she glares murder in that direction. "What the fuck - "

"Hey, don't blame me when your fucking spider impersonation fails," Blitzø immediately retorts, taking a couple of steps closer but not quite sure if he's safe enough to offer her a hand up.

"If you can't stay on the ceiling why were you up there?" At least he assumes she was. Kind of hard to place where she'd fallen from as he'd opened the door to her falling almost immediately.

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[Annie, looking more than usually surly, is just in here breaking stuff. Furniture, since the robots turn out to not really be that fun, and they aren't useful in any way she understands. She hefts the end table leg she's pried off at the sound of the door and doesn't hesitate to wing it at him. Are chances good that's a (barge) normal person being weird for reasons of their own? Yup. But she's cranky, and violence is as good a way to get an answer as usual.]

Oh hey--

[Then Blitzø is smacked in the face with a chair leg and immediately falls on his ass. He blinks at the ceiling, one eye after the other, then ventures to raise his head.]

Not liking the boat, huh?

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Relax, sourpatch. This is not the kind of boat you need clothes for.

[Frankie is sunbathing up top in a red bikini, her usual shades, and is holding a giant piña colada in her other hand.]

Still weird as shit waking up in a new place with just boxers and a shirt on. Like I know this boat is a fuckfest but I didn't think it was that bad yet.

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[He laughed mockingly.]

Have ya figured it out yet, demon?

I've figured out your dick.

Wait. Fuck, I should have gone with a your mom joke.

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Good morning to you too, Sunshine.

Calm down. I brought you when we shifted ports.

[THANK SATAN, it's his warden. Immediately Blitzø is clutching his comms close and peering at it as though he can see Trevor through sheer willpower alone.]

Hey, asshole, where the fuck are you?? I need some wardening here!

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