Jedao (
deuceoftears) wrote in
lastvoyages2023-10-17 11:16 pm
Tierce of Doors
[Warden filter, probably 2nd day of Swords Times?]
If your inmate has magic, check their shit. This is manifesting a lot more like magic than neurotoxin.
[Filtered to Inmates]
If your warden is fracturing right now and you need something, holler.
[Private to Shen Wei]
Check in.
No downplaying your shit. My brain is on fire, how are you.
[Open Spam]
After checking the engine room inch by inch, Jedao spends most of his time cursed pacing the barge like a zoo animal. From every mouth a maw, he thinks to the beat of his own footsteps. From every door a death. He wants to split in half like a walnut; he wants to explode; he wants to swallow the barge whole. He wants to bite through bone. He can't stop feeling utterly, incandescently furious, from the core of his chest to the tips of his fingers.
But he can control his actions. Jedao doesn't attack anyone who doesn't attack him or someone else first. He has a fucking tote bag for yanking knives off of people with mothpulls. And as the days wear on, he looks increasingly fucked up, strafed by dark black wounds like slashes in reality itself; the dark oozing writhing tendrils of him seethe and coil as they slowly knit back together.
If your inmate has magic, check their shit. This is manifesting a lot more like magic than neurotoxin.
[Filtered to Inmates]
If your warden is fracturing right now and you need something, holler.
[Private to Shen Wei]
Check in.
No downplaying your shit. My brain is on fire, how are you.
[Open Spam]
After checking the engine room inch by inch, Jedao spends most of his time cursed pacing the barge like a zoo animal. From every mouth a maw, he thinks to the beat of his own footsteps. From every door a death. He wants to split in half like a walnut; he wants to explode; he wants to swallow the barge whole. He wants to bite through bone. He can't stop feeling utterly, incandescently furious, from the core of his chest to the tips of his fingers.
But he can control his actions. Jedao doesn't attack anyone who doesn't attack him or someone else first. He has a fucking tote bag for yanking knives off of people with mothpulls. And as the days wear on, he looks increasingly fucked up, strafed by dark black wounds like slashes in reality itself; the dark oozing writhing tendrils of him seethe and coil as they slowly knit back together.

no subject
It helps that he hears Evandrin too, sometimes; Evandrin, and Elias, and the Ring of Brass. He even glimpses them out of the corner of his eye, reminding him of who he was, who he can still be on the Barge. And when that fails, there are others who've been able to stop him from going too far.
Still, at this point his armour is drenched in blood, and his movements are stiff with pain and weariness. When he sees Jedao, his eyes narrow; he knows at this point that he can't entirely trust what he sees, but he draws his sword just in case. It alights in flame that casts no heat, though the steel itself is stained with viscera.
"Jedao?" Violence is a weapon of last resort. It's been a common reverb since this started, chanting his oath to himself.
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Who's blood is that, he wants to scream, because it's so much, it can't possibly mean anything good. And because he just. Wants to scream. Wants to rip the sword away, crush Zerxus inside his own compacted armor and leave him trapped in it, how fucking dare he - how dare he - Jedao isn't even sure what offense the miserable fury in his chest wants to lay at Zerxus's feet. He supposes he understands how Elias felt, now.
He grits his teeth, and breathes. The taste of blood is dully familiar on the air.
"Yes, Zerxus, it's me."
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"If I try to heal you, will it work?"
Pathetic, Asmodeus hisses in his ear. Look at him! How many times must your trust be broken before you learn?
Reflexively, his grip on the hilt tightens, but he couldn't say who exactly he wants to swing the blade towards.
no subject
Jedao's face twists in a scowl; the familiar gut-level misery at his own alien strangeness, still causing problems and uncertainty after almost four years, is weirdly comforting. It's a feeling he knows is his own.
The rage rebounds, roars again; he hates mind control so much, and now it's eating him alive. He hand tightens on the strap of his tote bag of weapons, but he doesn't reach for one. Why would he? His own sword, unlit, bladeless and quiet at his hip, is better for getting through obstacles, and his finer use of intracranial mothpushes would be better at dropping an attacker. It's just something to clench his fist around.
"If it takes enough energy to be worth conserving, you should save it. I'll heal in a day or two, no matter what. You healed a lot of people so far?"
It's at least a lot more subtle that where's all that fucking blood come from?
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warden filter
Re: warden filter
How's it hitting you?
Re: warden filter
Bad mood. [Deliberately flippant.] You?
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private
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Warden filter
I’ve been trying to pinpoint the source, but I haven’t found it yet.
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Ordinarily, the closer you get to the source, the thicker the haze becomes. But I've been all over the ship and haven't found it.
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private;
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That's good to know, thank you.
How are you now?
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wardens
I don't know what the fuck it is, but it can't fuck with me. And apparently, I can block it if I'm possessing someone. It stops fucking with them.
Re: wardens
What he wants, fortunately, is unimportant.]
That's handy. Could Astarion's magic keep it at bay at all, do you reckon?
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I told him to stay in if he can.
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warden filter
I did try to track it but it's too cut off from everything. I suspect the source in inside a private room; maybe we need to count heads and find who is missing?
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Do you need anything right now? Are you safe?
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I am coping. [It's a concession to xiao Jedao's admonition that he doesn't simply claim that he's fine. In fact, he pauses for a moment, then further admits, almost tentatively,] My emotions are uncharacteristically... volatile, and I seem to be experiencing some physiological symptoms, but they are. Bearable. [Moreso than fighting the wildly cycling urge to rage or cry or cower.]
Is there anything I can do to help?
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Rage?
[Because Jedao would rather shut down his abilities now than have to wrangle Shen Wei too.]
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