Text ; Plan Addm: A

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Text ; Plan Addm: A

Rules of the Barge Regarding Murders

1. Revenge murders by best friends are always appropriate and necessary unless your best friend asks you really nicely not to. See: Rawne.

2. Be careful who you murder and only go after people who are unlikable and/or super duper "deserve it." See: Annie.

Edit: 2a. Make a lot of friends with low standards BEFORE your murder spree and everyone will fall over themselves to tell you it's fine after a mild scolding.

3. Only people who are nice and polite deserve to be listened to. The Barge likes that. Right, Tiffany?

4. Always have a backup place to stay or the warden of the person you hurt will offer you a place to hide and pretend like she doesn't care that it would fuck up her own relationship with her Inmate. See: Rita

What am I missing?

What I did to Connor was awful. Beyond awful. And yeah, I regretted it before Annie decided to spill my guts for me. But you people don't know about it because I decided not to air my trauma for the whole Barge to see. If you were hurt by what I did, you deserve to know and you can absolutely ask. The ones who did reach out got answers. But no one exactly provided me with a kill count so I could talk to people myself.

And yeah. I asked. So don't @ me about it.

Anyway, Connor didn't deserve what I did to him. No one fucking deserves that. The people who got caught up in it - it wasn't personal, but I know that doesn't matter.

I fucked up. I'm a monster. I'm a bad guy. But I'm here to do better, right? At least, that's the deal that you all want to give everyone else. So, I'm not just all those things - I have a degree from MIT. I like cheese, but only the good kinds. Kraft is trash. Velveeta is trash. I can't cook worth shit. I fell for an internet scam and lost 13,000 dollars that I definitely didn't have. I worked for the Air Force but I never flew planes. And I fucking hate ducks.

Hurray. I'm a person.

And for those of you who are super happy I died, why yes. I'm fucking miserable. Happy to oblige you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

When Lark comes by he has presents, but not great ones. A rawhide bone for Warren, ginger ale for Jacobi.

"Feel better?" He says, clearly meaning the post and not the death toll.

Jacobi eyes him warily, but takes the ginger ale from his spot as a lump on the bed.

"Yeah, actually. I'm telling my own damn side of the story, thanks for asking."

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It is unfair to ask me, as a mere mortal, to love you more than I already do like this, Daniel.

Try and tone down the sexiness until you’re able to make out with me.

You're so predictable.

This was a deviation from my Plan, I hope you know.

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...later

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If you feel a craving for cheese as you recover, I would be happy to bring you some. The good kind, certainly.

...yeah, sure.

Why?

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stop calling my friend a monster

I know what I am, Iris. I know what I've done.

That's what we are.

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Getting better is the line the Admiral tries to sell, sure. But it's the kind of thing that's always gonna be easier to say, than do. Especially when you get emotions involved.

That's why it's better not to let them get involved. Just do what you're supposed to do.

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[He's not sure he knows the man well enough to comment, but Jacobi hasn't really been here that long, and most people aren't shy about sharing their stupid opinions. Hopefully a few snide conversations are enough that he won't be fucking up an inmate with his ineptitude again?]

You missed the "make a lot of friends with low standards BEFORE your murder spree and everyone will fall over themselves to tell you it's fine after a mild scolding." Though that might be a corollary to #2.

Shit. You're right.

I'll add that.

This whole place is a damn beauty pageant.

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Uh, do you need another warden?

Now why would I want that?

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[Given that Tim's on probation from Jacobi's good graces, maybe text is safer than bothering him in person.]

...I am MADLY curious how you fell for an internet scam, of all things.

[He told him that he didn't want to see his face. This isn't seeing his face. So, this is following the rules and is acceptable.]

It was very convincing!

And it was all that money all at once. It happened slowly.

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...you forgot the part where you rail against your captivity and lament that the spa doesn't even have your favorite bubble bath.

I'm glad to see your spirits haven't been dampened.

They did for a while.

Then I let it all out.

The spa doesn't have my favorite bubble bath, by the way. It really is a goddamn tragedy.

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Looks like you catch on quick.

[ That Number 2, boy does he have issues with it. ]

What do you think makes a person a monster?

Those are the people who do bad things to other people.

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I'm sorry to hear that you died, and that you felt like you needed to murder to help yourself.

But you're not a monster. So please don't call yourself that.

You don't know me.

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[ She's not even going to try to explain herself re #4 because he clearly doesn't care. ]

Just so you know, Mr Kepler contacted me and wanted to talk about how to make things right with you and Connor.

Alright.

Ball's in Connor's court and we play by his rules as far as I'm concerned. If he doesn't want to talk to me, fine. I can respect that. It's a big enough ship that I can give him his space as much as I'm physically capable of doing.

If he does, then I'll tell him anything he wants to know.

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Yeah that was a lot of words nobody ought to care about.

Except:

What's your problem with ducks?

They're AWFUL.

Their beady little eyes.

Their big flappy feet.

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I don't believe 'people generally won't care much about your murder if they don't see you as a person' is limited to the barge.

Oh no that's an actual tactic I've used in the real world.

But it's relevant here, so I thought I'd include it.

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Wow. You went from dick-swinging explosives guy to spinelessly begging people to see your humanity so fast I'd almost think you'd typed this at gunpoint. What happened there?

Hey! There's no begging involved. I'm sure there are plenty of people still super ready to see me as the 80s hacker who made his own personal Terminator.

But I am also a well rounded individual who is willing to admit when mistakes were made and I was being overly dramatic about things.

THANK YOU.

Their stupid faces.

Their beady eyes.

Their big feet that shouldn't be on land.

I'm saying that's what you told me happens.

I don't know what you actually think.