Daniel Jacobi (
mrballisticsdummy) wrote in
lastvoyages2021-08-30 01:19 pm
Text ; Plan Addm: A
Rules of the Barge Regarding Murders
1. Revenge murders by best friends are always appropriate and necessary unless your best friend asks you really nicely not to. See: Rawne.
2. Be careful who you murder and only go after people who are unlikable and/or super duper "deserve it." See: Annie.
Edit: 2a. Make a lot of friends with low standards BEFORE your murder spree and everyone will fall over themselves to tell you it's fine after a mild scolding.
3. Only people who are nice and polite deserve to be listened to. The Barge likes that. Right, Tiffany?
4. Always have a backup place to stay or the warden of the person you hurt will offer you a place to hide and pretend like she doesn't care that it would fuck up her own relationship with her Inmate. See: Rita
What am I missing?
What I did to Connor was awful. Beyond awful. And yeah, I regretted it before Annie decided to spill my guts for me. But you people don't know about it because I decided not to air my trauma for the whole Barge to see. If you were hurt by what I did, you deserve to know and you can absolutely ask. The ones who did reach out got answers. But no one exactly provided me with a kill count so I could talk to people myself.
And yeah. I asked. So don't @ me about it.
Anyway, Connor didn't deserve what I did to him. No one fucking deserves that. The people who got caught up in it - it wasn't personal, but I know that doesn't matter.
I fucked up. I'm a monster. I'm a bad guy. But I'm here to do better, right? At least, that's the deal that you all want to give everyone else. So, I'm not just all those things - I have a degree from MIT. I like cheese, but only the good kinds. Kraft is trash. Velveeta is trash. I can't cook worth shit. I fell for an internet scam and lost 13,000 dollars that I definitely didn't have. I worked for the Air Force but I never flew planes. And I fucking hate ducks.
Hurray. I'm a person.
And for those of you who are super happy I died, why yes. I'm fucking miserable. Happy to oblige you.
1. Revenge murders by best friends are always appropriate and necessary unless your best friend asks you really nicely not to. See: Rawne.
2. Be careful who you murder and only go after people who are unlikable and/or super duper "deserve it." See: Annie.
Edit: 2a. Make a lot of friends with low standards BEFORE your murder spree and everyone will fall over themselves to tell you it's fine after a mild scolding.
3. Only people who are nice and polite deserve to be listened to. The Barge likes that. Right, Tiffany?
4. Always have a backup place to stay or the warden of the person you hurt will offer you a place to hide and pretend like she doesn't care that it would fuck up her own relationship with her Inmate. See: Rita
What am I missing?
What I did to Connor was awful. Beyond awful. And yeah, I regretted it before Annie decided to spill my guts for me. But you people don't know about it because I decided not to air my trauma for the whole Barge to see. If you were hurt by what I did, you deserve to know and you can absolutely ask. The ones who did reach out got answers. But no one exactly provided me with a kill count so I could talk to people myself.
And yeah. I asked. So don't @ me about it.
Anyway, Connor didn't deserve what I did to him. No one fucking deserves that. The people who got caught up in it - it wasn't personal, but I know that doesn't matter.
I fucked up. I'm a monster. I'm a bad guy. But I'm here to do better, right? At least, that's the deal that you all want to give everyone else. So, I'm not just all those things - I have a degree from MIT. I like cheese, but only the good kinds. Kraft is trash. Velveeta is trash. I can't cook worth shit. I fell for an internet scam and lost 13,000 dollars that I definitely didn't have. I worked for the Air Force but I never flew planes. And I fucking hate ducks.
Hurray. I'm a person.
And for those of you who are super happy I died, why yes. I'm fucking miserable. Happy to oblige you.

spam;
"Feel better?" He says, clearly meaning the post and not the death toll.
Re: spam;
"Yeah, actually. I'm telling my own damn side of the story, thanks for asking."
Re: spam;
Re: spam;
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Private
Try and tone down the sexiness until you’re able to make out with me.
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This was a deviation from my Plan, I hope you know.
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[Private]
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Why?
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That's what we are.
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private text
You missed the "make a lot of friends with low standards BEFORE your murder spree and everyone will fall over themselves to tell you it's fine after a mild scolding." Though that might be a corollary to #2.
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I'll add that.
This whole place is a damn beauty pageant.
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Private
...I am MADLY curious how you fell for an internet scam, of all things.
Re: Private
It was very convincing!
And it was all that money all at once. It happened slowly.
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Private
I'm glad to see your spirits haven't been dampened.
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Then I let it all out.
The spa doesn't have my favorite bubble bath, by the way. It really is a goddamn tragedy.
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private.
[ That Number 2, boy does he have issues with it. ]
What do you think makes a person a monster?
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But you're not a monster. So please don't call yourself that.
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Private
Just so you know, Mr Kepler contacted me and wanted to talk about how to make things right with you and Connor.
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Ball's in Connor's court and we play by his rules as far as I'm concerned. If he doesn't want to talk to me, fine. I can respect that. It's a big enough ship that I can give him his space as much as I'm physically capable of doing.
If he does, then I'll tell him anything he wants to know.
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Except:
What's your problem with ducks?
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Their beady little eyes.
Their big flappy feet.
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But it's relevant here, so I thought I'd include it.
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But I am also a well rounded individual who is willing to admit when mistakes were made and I was being overly dramatic about things.
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Their stupid faces.
Their beady eyes.
Their big feet that shouldn't be on land.
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I don't know what you actually think.
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