Just in case anyone cares, Stan made the questionable choice of promoting me to Vice President of the Bowling Alley, [He adopts a sort of 1960's mattress salesman in a TV commercial Voice:] So if you're ever hankering for a cheap date with your Barge spouse, come on down!

[And in his normal voice again:]

Or don't. Let me continue aggravating my carpal tunnel on the pinball machine in peace.

Hey, for those in the know, what are my odds of convincing the Admiral to install some new arcade games in there? Got some old scores to settle with a couple games from my youth.

Anyway, poll of the week: what do you think the odds of your life being fictional some place are? Like we're all from different worlds, and some of us turn up here recognizing people and thinking we know something about them because they were our Halloween costume of choice from second through fifth grade, but then we're kinda left to wonder "hey shit, are we going to end up with some guy who launched an action figure of me out a three story window strapped to a Hot Wheel?"

So what do you think your show, or movie, or book, or whatever is? Are you the lead, what's the budget? Critically acclaimed or total garbage fire no one wants to admit to paying money to experience?

[Private to Barbara]

Hey, so, this is kinda awkward- [Because he usually tries to let "people Richie knows because they're fictional where he's from" sort of choose their own adventure when it comes to discussing the whole being. Fictional. Thing. And now he's just laying it all out there, but.] But you're like, "Barbara Gordon from Gotham City, related to Commissioner Gordon" Barbara Gordon, not like, I don't know. The other Sarah Connors, right?

[Spam]

[True to his word, you can now find Richie in the bowling alley, bothering Stan, proving pinball is like riding a bicycle by racking up high scores, or sitting behind the desk thumbing through some well loved looking paperbacks. He also takes meals regularly in the dining hall, attends movie night, and semi frequently programs the Enclosure to be something that resembles the island from LOST, sans polar bears, the Others and malevolent clouds of black smoke. There's no signs of civilization except a beach umbrella or three scattered around the beach, some towels and beach chairs, and maybe a hammock. Richie's usually camped out in the shade napping, reading, or happily mashing away at an old Game Boy Color.

You also might catch him up on deck early in the mornings, drinking coffee out of a thermos and heckling Eddie as he does laps on deck. Please come converse with him so Eds can run in peace. :'(]