Hey!!.. I just wanted to take this opportunity in promoting my new community wordsofsolitude..
Its a place where freedom of expression is wanted.. through poetry, words, and rambles.. If you have feelings of not belonging, of feeling so alone.. you can belong at wordsofsolitude
I lost my brother to cot death in 1993.. he was 20 months old.. I have written a lot of poetry about it, and the feelings that surround the emptyness you feel losing a child...
Thanks xx Angela
Life is a prison Oh God let me out No one to listen To hear when you shout
Climb the walls of insanity Ride the waves of despair If you fall it don't matter There's no one to care
Used to wish for a window To see birds, trees and sky But you're better without one Stops you aiming too high
Strong is good, weak is bad. Be it false, be it true Your mind makes the choice And enforces it too
Hide the pain, carry on Routine is the key Don't let on that you're not What you're pretending to be
So how do you grow With a timebomb inside? Or how to defuse it Without destroying its ride?
It doesn't seem like a week goes by that I don't think of _confuzion_. I keep expecting to see his comments to my posts, or reading about his day. I still have him on all my chat lists. I can't delete them even though I know he will never be back. I still wait for the day I'll see it flash on the screen, I just know it never will.
.When my Dad died it was much different for me. I don't know if it was because of what I was going through at the time (which was W.W.III, my divorce), the vision or just the way I am but there was very little mourning for me.
My father had a stroke that lasted 4 months until he passed. During that time he did 2 things for me� He came to me in a vision one day as I sat on the couch exhausted from everything that was going on. At the time of the vision I felt like I knew and understood everything and the moment I stood up it was all gone, but he somehow had taken the grief away from me and to this day 2 years later it has only been a sigh and a small tear.
He was also unable to speak or move during this time but one day while alone with him he sang the best he could Tom Dooley, a song he used to sing to me when I was a little boy. The enthusiastic look on his face will live with me forever. To me it was a sign to get back into my music, which I have.
When I last saw him 2 nights before he died I went to say good- bye. I thanked him for the baseball glove when I was five, for the banana seat and sissy bar to trik out my bike for all the good talks and vacations and fun. I thanked him for being my Dad. I told him I am who I am because of him and that I was proud of who I am and told him not to worry about Mom or the rest of the family I could handle it�it is ok�you can let go�it's so beautiful there�I will see you again�
I looked into his eyes and said good bye for the last time� He died two days later in the middle of the night.
I have no fear of death; I have no fear of living. I know where I am, I know where I'm from, I know where I'm going.
yea this is just to start things off.. but i thought i might as well and for anyone who might be joining this in the future.. i'm candy.. founder of last_thoughts...in the past 2 years i've lost about 10 people....everyday memories of them go through my head... its really hard.. last year when my friend Tempest hung herself.. it hit me so bad i didn't eve just go through regular after death depression.. it sparked clinic depression and i suffered with that feeling for a long time.. eventually i tried killing my self.. and they put me in a mental hospital.. oh fun times.. even after i got out people kept dying.. my little cousin steven.. age 10 i believe.. died of a brain tumor.. then my aunt... breast cancer.. then what hurt me the most.. my mamaw.. we were so close.. i loved her with all my heart..i was there when she past away and pictures of her taking her last breathes are still imprinted in my mind...
wordsofsolitude
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