(no subject)
Check out this video and tell me it isn't the hottest thing you've seen in a long time. She's also got some pretty good artwork up on her website. Pretty cool.
A word to the wise.
One would not recommend watching Peter Greenaway's The Cook The Thief His Wife & Her Lover on a dreary saturday afternoon, after a night of heavy drinking, and having recently consumed a very runny english breakfast.
Bad manners. Child abuse. Sexual Deviance. Vomitus. Cannibalism.
I think I just found my new interests list.
Bad manners. Child abuse. Sexual Deviance. Vomitus. Cannibalism.
I think I just found my new interests list.
Who's Worse?
Candidate 1:
Spoken in an unplaceable english/french/german accent while wearing hideously garish makeup
"OMG you were so funny last night ... you were asking like 'who's better' or 'more lame' or something and then you were like 'who's not as good, the rector or the vice-chancellor' or something like that and then when we tried to justify ourselves you would yell that we were ruining everything and that you wanted to kill us!"
Candidate 2:
Spoken in a south african accent by a hindu lawyer ... well, law student (remember to roll the r's and heavily emphasize c's and t's
"Isn't the rector great? I love the rector!"
Spoken in an unplaceable english/french/german accent while wearing hideously garish makeup
"OMG you were so funny last night ... you were asking like 'who's better' or 'more lame' or something and then you were like 'who's not as good, the rector or the vice-chancellor' or something like that and then when we tried to justify ourselves you would yell that we were ruining everything and that you wanted to kill us!"
Candidate 2:
Spoken in a south african accent by a hindu lawyer ... well, law student (remember to roll the r's and heavily emphasize c's and t's
"Isn't the rector great? I love the rector!"
9928042311600000 cesium 133 oscillations of sleep
t0nighT W∃r∃ 2 pl0tlines:
1. There were was an extra room next to mine which doesn't exist in which a man was contacting a race of ultra-slow extraterrestrials. While touching myself in a sinful way, I noticed that he had completely filled my room with water, but the water wouldn't drain when I opened the door. He was planning an invasion which took the form of individually placed magnesium strips on every square centimeter of land on the surface of the globe. These were later lit with the help of matches by these same ultra-slow extraterrestrials using something akin to an all terrain vehicle and a bic© lighter. The world's never looked so bright...
2> Planned a trip to the caribbean with friends, leaving from montreal. The day before we left, I was swept 300 ft into the air by a typhoon and unceremoniously dropped on the pine palace. A minor case of whiplash was the result. Was separated from friends on way to airport (which was Heathrow for some reason). Entrance was somewhere in an ultra-seedy part of town. Asked official looking gentlemen for directions. Was informed "last door sir" just as weeping latino gangster came up escalator with a pack of marlboro lights. He was comforted by a younger official looking gentlemen with a golf club. The reason for the latino gangster's weeping now made an appearance outside the door just as I left the building. This took the form of a glock-equipped black gangster. In order to give the latino gangster something to really cry about, this man decided to shoot me. Started rolling down the hill restricting damage to my thigh, my shoulder, my left hand, and possibly a punctured kidney. Bullets were visible in transit as a piece of drab matrix-style effect ... however, I was unable to properly dodge them. In a state of complete panic, I sprinted (limped?) with the shooter hot on my heels towards the ST-Hubert at the end of the street in the hopes of finding safety.
I miss rotisserie chicken.
1. There were was an extra room next to mine which doesn't exist in which a man was contacting a race of ultra-slow extraterrestrials. While touching myself in a sinful way, I noticed that he had completely filled my room with water, but the water wouldn't drain when I opened the door. He was planning an invasion which took the form of individually placed magnesium strips on every square centimeter of land on the surface of the globe. These were later lit with the help of matches by these same ultra-slow extraterrestrials using something akin to an all terrain vehicle and a bic© lighter. The world's never looked so bright...
2> Planned a trip to the caribbean with friends, leaving from montreal. The day before we left, I was swept 300 ft into the air by a typhoon and unceremoniously dropped on the pine palace. A minor case of whiplash was the result. Was separated from friends on way to airport (which was Heathrow for some reason). Entrance was somewhere in an ultra-seedy part of town. Asked official looking gentlemen for directions. Was informed "last door sir" just as weeping latino gangster came up escalator with a pack of marlboro lights. He was comforted by a younger official looking gentlemen with a golf club. The reason for the latino gangster's weeping now made an appearance outside the door just as I left the building. This took the form of a glock-equipped black gangster. In order to give the latino gangster something to really cry about, this man decided to shoot me. Started rolling down the hill restricting damage to my thigh, my shoulder, my left hand, and possibly a punctured kidney. Bullets were visible in transit as a piece of drab matrix-style effect ... however, I was unable to properly dodge them. In a state of complete panic, I sprinted (limped?) with the shooter hot on my heels towards the ST-Hubert at the end of the street in the hopes of finding safety.
I miss rotisserie chicken.
(no subject)
.eivom yttihs gnikcuf a si etatS nedraG
.ti dias I ,erehT
.ffo kcuF
.ti dias I ,erehT
.ffo kcuF
Apparently, Dread Gives Me A Heart Attack
My dreams are taking an apocalyptic turn ... last night it was an asteroid hitting the planet.
While I'm a little disappointed by the banality of my imagination in concocting such an end-of-the world scenario, I must admit that what actually brought about the destruction of the race was a little novel. Namely, the asteroid was barely diverted into the the earth at the last astronomical minute by a larger asteroid passing on the diametrically opposite side of the globe at that exact same time (come to think of it, the second one was a large comet ... a fire ball really).
The impact was such a glancing blow that the asteroid actually ricocheted into the moon, severing it into about 5 neat chunks. Thus, most of the population actually survived the initial impact, but the planet was knocked off its orbit, and our survival apparently depended on whether or not the moon would put itself back together. If so, we're all dead, if not we might live.
I'm glad to say that in the intervening time, I found myself walking the streets with my father in my final hours and trying to decide whether or not to go to Else's. Businesses were still operating because George Bush had come on TV and asked that everyone continue on with their normal lives in order to keep the american economy strong in case we made it...
This dream was particularly good for it's magnificent special effects sequences ... the scene where I watched the asteroid get closer to the planet from my house was especially magnificent ... as was the scene where the chunks of the moon danced around each other as it slowly put itself back together, assuring our demise. I had brief glimpses of the "Red Dawn"-like activity of picking up my wife & kids and putting them in the back of my pick-up truck in order to go survive in the woods ... these introduced discontinuity into the plot and generally mucked things up.
I'd like to thank my brain for making this dream, but wished it would drag it on touch longer so that I can watch comedic motion pictures without bursting into tears.
I'd like to thank the academy.
While I'm a little disappointed by the banality of my imagination in concocting such an end-of-the world scenario, I must admit that what actually brought about the destruction of the race was a little novel. Namely, the asteroid was barely diverted into the the earth at the last astronomical minute by a larger asteroid passing on the diametrically opposite side of the globe at that exact same time (come to think of it, the second one was a large comet ... a fire ball really).
The impact was such a glancing blow that the asteroid actually ricocheted into the moon, severing it into about 5 neat chunks. Thus, most of the population actually survived the initial impact, but the planet was knocked off its orbit, and our survival apparently depended on whether or not the moon would put itself back together. If so, we're all dead, if not we might live.
I'm glad to say that in the intervening time, I found myself walking the streets with my father in my final hours and trying to decide whether or not to go to Else's. Businesses were still operating because George Bush had come on TV and asked that everyone continue on with their normal lives in order to keep the american economy strong in case we made it...
This dream was particularly good for it's magnificent special effects sequences ... the scene where I watched the asteroid get closer to the planet from my house was especially magnificent ... as was the scene where the chunks of the moon danced around each other as it slowly put itself back together, assuring our demise. I had brief glimpses of the "Red Dawn"-like activity of picking up my wife & kids and putting them in the back of my pick-up truck in order to go survive in the woods ... these introduced discontinuity into the plot and generally mucked things up.
I'd like to thank my brain for making this dream, but wished it would drag it on touch longer so that I can watch comedic motion pictures without bursting into tears.
I'd like to thank the academy.
i need more sleep
"the royal tennenbaums" just made me cry.
I Am A Coward
Is this a dream or a nightmare?: I'm in an elevator on the ground floor, somehow the elevator has an upper balcony story from which people can look down on people. My cousin 
hedmonster is in the elevator but she's dressed like James would dress: jeans, light blue shirt, brown and green argyle v-neck vest, her brother's there too as well as a few other people. I think the buttons on the elevator indicate that we can go up 4 flights or down 2. We start going up, and on the way two lesbians in the elevator start making out (they're like girl lesbians not real lesbians, the kind where you look at a super girly het girl and project lesbos upon her ... porn lesbians, really) ... one gooses the other really hard and she complains that it hurts, the people in the elevator are rolling their eyes in that "get a room" sort of way. Their actions cause the elevator to behave erratically: stopping between floors, stopping at floors no one asked to go to, going down when we're supposed to be going up ... this all pisses my cousin off and she screams "YEAH! WELL MAYBE I WANNA FUCK SOMEONE TOO!" and then she walks over and gooses some girl that I think I used to go to high school with ... if she were an animal she'd be a rat. She screams "Ow! That DOES hurt." This pisses the lesbians off who are humping each other's legs at this point, and they angrily gesture indicating that they'd like to get to their room sometime very soon. hedmonster's behavior causes further elevator fuck-ups. Then, her brother sits down at a desk in the middle of the elevator, from which missiles and machine gun fire start spewing out ... but it looks more like the kind of missile and machine gun fire that would come from a boss in some nintendo game after you kill him ... it can't hurt you. At this point everyone is waiting to go to the 4th floor but the elevator indicates that we're on the first basement level. After the missile barrage, all the lights go out & I have some vague memory of SWAT-team members everywhere (which may have come from the documentary I watched the other day on the Iranian embassy hostage taking in London in 1980). Suddenly, the elevator loses tension and starts to drop ... I'm not too worried, thinking that we've only got one flight to drop, but someone says that it had gone back up while we weren't paying attention ... but for some reason the indicator still reads "1B". I watch it go as far down as "4B" before we accelerate to the point where my feet come off the ground. The last thing I remember is whispering "we're all going to die, we're all going to die" to myself before I woke up with a hideously accelerated heart rate...
Last night, I watched "Mulholland Drive" again and I think I actually got it ... maybe that's got something to do with this.
hedmonster is in the elevator but she's dressed like James would dress: jeans, light blue shirt, brown and green argyle v-neck vest, her brother's there too as well as a few other people. I think the buttons on the elevator indicate that we can go up 4 flights or down 2. We start going up, and on the way two lesbians in the elevator start making out (they're like girl lesbians not real lesbians, the kind where you look at a super girly het girl and project lesbos upon her ... porn lesbians, really) ... one gooses the other really hard and she complains that it hurts, the people in the elevator are rolling their eyes in that "get a room" sort of way. Their actions cause the elevator to behave erratically: stopping between floors, stopping at floors no one asked to go to, going down when we're supposed to be going up ... this all pisses my cousin off and she screams "YEAH! WELL MAYBE I WANNA FUCK SOMEONE TOO!" and then she walks over and gooses some girl that I think I used to go to high school with ... if she were an animal she'd be a rat. She screams "Ow! That DOES hurt." This pisses the lesbians off who are humping each other's legs at this point, and they angrily gesture indicating that they'd like to get to their room sometime very soon. hedmonster's behavior causes further elevator fuck-ups. Then, her brother sits down at a desk in the middle of the elevator, from which missiles and machine gun fire start spewing out ... but it looks more like the kind of missile and machine gun fire that would come from a boss in some nintendo game after you kill him ... it can't hurt you. At this point everyone is waiting to go to the 4th floor but the elevator indicates that we're on the first basement level. After the missile barrage, all the lights go out & I have some vague memory of SWAT-team members everywhere (which may have come from the documentary I watched the other day on the Iranian embassy hostage taking in London in 1980). Suddenly, the elevator loses tension and starts to drop ... I'm not too worried, thinking that we've only got one flight to drop, but someone says that it had gone back up while we weren't paying attention ... but for some reason the indicator still reads "1B". I watch it go as far down as "4B" before we accelerate to the point where my feet come off the ground. The last thing I remember is whispering "we're all going to die, we're all going to die" to myself before I woke up with a hideously accelerated heart rate...Last night, I watched "Mulholland Drive" again and I think I actually got it ... maybe that's got something to do with this.
2.5 BILLION?!??!?
Sporting more red, white & blue on his chest than Uncle Sam, Don King walked into a Florida State court today and filed a 2.5 billion dollar lawsuit against ESPN.
"[I'm ... I'm ... Disgusted! Defamed! Defiled! Discombobulated! Deflated! Defecated on!] ... I'm going to fight back, I seek justice[!]"
Don, when will you make it end? All they did is accuse you of stealing more money than it's been proven you've stolen, and claim that you killed one more person than it's been proved you killed. TWO AND A HALF BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS?!?!!
Think about it, does there exist a rumor that anyone could possibly spread about you that would make you feel like you were entitled to ten times what the highest paid baseball player of all time will make in ten years?? I could pay my rent in montreal for a hundred million months for that kind of money: a HUNDRED THOUSAND GENERATIONS of my offspring could live in my flat in Montreal for free for their entire lives!! All because ESPN called Don King "a snake oil salesman, a shameless huckster, and worse"?
NEWSFLASH DON: THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE, AND THIS INSANE LAWSUIT ISN"T HELPING YOUR CASE!
Man, this guy is even more deluded than I thought.
"[I'm ... I'm ... Disgusted! Defamed! Defiled! Discombobulated! Deflated! Defecated on!] ... I'm going to fight back, I seek justice[!]"
Don, when will you make it end? All they did is accuse you of stealing more money than it's been proven you've stolen, and claim that you killed one more person than it's been proved you killed. TWO AND A HALF BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS?!?!!
Think about it, does there exist a rumor that anyone could possibly spread about you that would make you feel like you were entitled to ten times what the highest paid baseball player of all time will make in ten years?? I could pay my rent in montreal for a hundred million months for that kind of money: a HUNDRED THOUSAND GENERATIONS of my offspring could live in my flat in Montreal for free for their entire lives!! All because ESPN called Don King "a snake oil salesman, a shameless huckster, and worse"?
NEWSFLASH DON: THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE, AND THIS INSANE LAWSUIT ISN"T HELPING YOUR CASE!
Man, this guy is even more deluded than I thought.
pro hunt
there are two foxes outside my window