ladychi, posts by tag: work - LiveJournal

Happy Mothers Day, Moms on Ye Olde Flist! I'm thinking especially of those of you for whom this will be your first Mother's Day ever as an actual Mom. Blessings and restful days to all of you. azriona, I am thinking of you also, because I spend all day with boys just a little bit older than yours, and... you could use blessings and a restful day, too!

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How about a little Old Skool fandom iconage for a Saturday afternoon? Good, yes?

First, a little... radar bump for a friend of mine. After my rant a few days ago, my good friend katmorning wrote an essay about how to (correctly) write children in fic. That is here. I recommend it!

Secondly: Congrats to David Tennant and Georgia Moffat! They are going to be having a wee one soon and I am positively SQUEEFUL. Yes, you gorgeous man, go out and reproduce. Please.

Thirdly: I have been a bit of a shit lately. If I have... offended you or whatever, because of the nature of my last few posts being what one could call grumpy, I want you to know that... I'm coming out of a rather intense depressive episode. So. I will return to my normal self, eventually. But it takes some time, sometimes.

Also, there is something going on at work which I feel I cannot talk about here, but -- suffice to say, once again, I find myself in a bit of a moral dilemma at work. I think it shall eventually get resolved, but -- I find myself asking -- WHY do certain people come to the field of Early Childhood education? What about your degree in Nutrition and Hotel Management makes you think you're qualified in ANYWAY to teach? Never mind the directors that have to hire these people because not enough people get degrees in ECE because no one wants to make less than 25K a year -- I know, because that's why I'm not getting a degree in it. Anyway.

Fourth: There's some positive stuff going on, as well. I am more financially secure than I have been -- pretty much since my freshman year of college. It's a good thing.

Fifth: Writing. Writing will happen eventually. I wrote two sentences last night. I have the start of another West Wing fic for next week, as well. For the Doctor Who fans on my flist -- I have plans for a fic for you guys next week too. So. I hope that works out!

Hi everyone!

So, um... I blinked and I have like... fifty-something reviews to respond to? Holy crap, you guys are awesome and sauce with love and bunnies. Seriously, having an audience and a flist like I've been privileged enough to have for the last few years is... well, it's beyond amazing.

My last couple of posts have been about depression, and I won't lie to you and say that things are getting better, but I will say that I am going to attempt to go to work tonight for the first time in... well, a while, and I hope I'm not fired.

I probably am fired, though.

Anyone want to pay me to write porn? Anyone? Ugh, damn you, intellectual copyright laws that make it impossible for me to write fanfic for money! (Although I would be the first person being all uppity about choosing not to write for profit because it's just-not-done, were the laws ever to change.)

Ugh, money anxiety makes me want to chew my fingers off. If you are part of the 99-part chorus singing "this is all your fault" in my head, please know that I'm aware and have plans to feel very, very guilty about it, should I actually lose my job.

UMMMM WHAT ELSE.

Nothing. Just... "aaaaaaaaaagh". That's the sound my anxiety makes.

I have so much crap I have to do today and I have to work -- I'm considering calling in late with brake trouble or something so that I'll have an hour or two BEFORE I go to work to get that stuff done as well as all of the time in the world after. But ugh, I don't know. I should just get up and go to work... especially since I didn't wake up at 10 o'clock when I planned to, but I was just so tired. I completely passed out and slept from 10 o'clock last evening to 12:45 this afternoon... and I'm still tired. Ugh.

Okay, I really am going to go to work now. When I get back it's:
1) Anthropology for test tomorrow
2) Lit Studies (this requires going to campus which is fine because there's no BTVS on campus and I won't get distracted)
3) Expos Writing for Prospective Teachers -- I have got to make some forward progress on this stupid brochure... thing.

I'd like to also finish up and post the next chapter of The Feather and the Mountain but I have no idea if I'll have the time.

Midterms... ugh.

1. Red Lobster is not as good as I remember it being. The biscuits, yes. Absolutely. But I return to my earlier conviction: Seafood & Kansas are not a good mix.

2. Super!Sekrit project is underway. I'm pleased with it.

3. project4editrx followers... I will have an update for you Sunday. I'm copyediting the book myself and on top of fandom obligations, working 30+ hours a week and going to school 12 hours a week, it's... suffering a bit. Patience, Iago.

4. Speaking of fandom obligations... everyone following The Feather and the Mountain, I want to apologize. A Chapter-a-week seems to be fading to a-chapter-every-other-week, and that's mostly because the subject matter is so difficult and I want to maintain a certain authenticity which demands a lot of me. Not being melodramatic, I hope. Just saying that writing the story requires a lot of energy, which I am running low on these days.

5. Mom sprained two ligaments in her foot and is hobbling around, which I only know because:

6. Z & I drove home tonight. I needed some puppy therapy (and Kato time, although that usually results in a bit of a cry about O'Malley... a year's a proper length of time to grieve a cat, right?), and Z needed time with his girlfriend. We'll return to Manhattan in the morning because:

7. I have to work 2:30-7 tomorrow and I got talked into hosting a Fake Paddy's Day party at my apartment. I figure most of the people coming are going to go out and drink anyway. They might as well do it at my place, where I take their keys at the beginning of the evening and provide couches, blankets and comfy floor space with pillows for those too drunk to make it home. Mama!Chi much? Just a touch.

See you all later!

Thinky-thoughts are few and far between these days. Most of my thoughts center around a few things: The absurd number of hours I agreed to work these first three weeks of employment, my considerably-reduced available writing time, my head cold, and how much homework I have.

I have the next chapter of The Feather and the Mountain written & sitting with a beta... I'd tentatively like to say that I'll be posting that on Wednesdays from now on. I think I'm far enough ahead to pretty much guarantee that.

I have a plot bunny for a Doctor Who one-shot that will most likely only be applicable to who_like_giants, but keep an eye out for some Rose & Reinette goodness from me.

Classes and school are good -- I'm taking a wee trip this weekend to visit my friend taliatoennien, and I'll be missing classes Friday, but I've already cleared everything with my professors, so I'm golden there. I just have to work doubly-quick to get all of my stuff in, so that there's zero stress while I'm out there.

I wish I had something more to say -- I hope you guys enjoyed the Super Bowl. I slept through it, like the bum that I am... but hey, at least my head stopped hurting long enough for me to plan all this stuff!

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Part One: Work Whining
...Before I go to bed. No, really, I am going to bed. I have to be up before noon so I can be at work at one. I need at least an hour of me time before I have to cater to every little whim of everyone else in the universe. (I hate Customer Service, I really do. Thank God I only have 3 months of this left.)

Part Two: editrx project!
Decisions were made tonight about the project to help editrx, and then I had a conversation with the lady in question, she okayed everything and TOMORROW. Tomorrow I shall post about it because the last thing you guys want is me drunkenly (although it would be from sinus medicine, not from alcohol) shouting things at the universe right now. There'd be a lot of "LOL, wut?" from everyone.

Part Three: School right now!
Got my Biology Lab practical exam back and there is good news. I did not fail! I barely passed -- but I did not fail. For missing two out of the four classes the exam was about, I will take that as fair play.

Part Four: A Conversation with my Mother
I love my new layout so much, I showed it to my Mom.

"Isn't that your weasel-guy?"

"...Yes, Mom, that's David Tennant."

"He's strange-looking."

"*Sigh*. So you've said."

Part Five: Big Girl Panties time!
YOU GUYS. I have a list of things to do this weekend and it is very serious business. Please not to be letting me get away with this stupid emo "I don't want to do anything I hate my life wah wah wah" crap I've been pulling.

1) 3 modules of Biology. Yes, that's right. Three. And I have to understand them because I also need to:
2) Take my Second Biology test.
3) Finish up epic Ten/Rose alt-verse smut for edgeoftheworld.
4) Finish my FASFA.
5) Figure out the the readmit process at KSU, and apply (tentatively) to get into UMKC. I need to make a decision about that, too.

Big Girl Panties time, Chi. And that starts right now, with going to bed early.

(Shuttup. Four a.m. is early, right?)

Thanks to the help of my sister, I feel a little less like jumping off the edge of the nearest cliff is a good option. I told her the full story (which I will not recount here, for it turns me into a wailing, hysterical thing full of rage and UGH NOT FAIR NOT FAIR), and she vowed to come out to my parent's house and yell at my former boss for me. I told her this was not necessary, but my sister's a throw-back to our Visigoth ancestors. She will smack a bitch.

I guess what really concerns me is how I'll find a job after I've been terminated from a position. Everyone's been telling me that everyone gets fired at least once or twice, and so I'm hoping that I don't feel like a complete... idiot, trying to find a job.

What I really hate is that in this big old vast ball of unfairness (in which nothing was documented and I was not the only one summarily dismissed after months and months of working our asses off for this woman), I sat there, in her office, and apologized for inconveniencing her.

papilio_luna? I think that small problem that I have, about not saying no and going out of my way to please people to a ridiculous degree? I think it's reached WTF proportion.

I want to say THANK YOU to my flist. No, seriously. There were a few of you who got on IM right away, which was invaluable because it was scary there for a bit, and the love and support you've given me today feels -- well, it feels incredible. I feel validated. I feel like I'm worth something to someone. Even if it's just cause every once in a while, I write a story in which the Doctor talks to his penis.

Thanks for the kind things you've said, privately and publicly. I want you all to know that I love you so much I feel like I can't properly express it.

Now. Let's just levy those prayers towards finding a job that will not cause another near-mental breakdown and result in... this shit.

1 - I am actually on my way to work just now. Just now, I am leaving for work. It has to be repeated cause I can't believe it's 11 and I'm just now leaving. I don't care; I needed some time off. And if other people can call in with "Oh, I forgot I have like 3 doctor's appts today, didn't request the day off, but I won't be in, tra la la..." I can say, "I have a headache. I'll be in a few hours late." Guilt free! Take that, Insane Catholic Guilt Complex For Which There Is No Reason!

2 - YAY FIDDY!!!!!

3 - LOL @ papilio_luna. My dear, if there is one thing we agree on, it is the stupid fucking futility of the healthcare plan being shoved through Congress right now. We may go in opposite extremes from the plan, but we're there together on the actual plan! Allow me to drive to your place of employment and make signs with you.

4 - writerinatardis is done. I'm actually thinking it's a fic that will have to be re-written after the competition. Because it starts out awesome, and then there's this point where I went, "oh shit! Word count..." So yeah.

5 - HUMP DAY! And we're almost over the hump! See ya'll on the other side.