My apologies ...

Dear Usher,

Please forgive my friend. Really, she's a very nice person once you get to know her. Generally, we blame her erratic behavior on some imbalance with her hair dye. We're looking into medications. I'm sure she didn't mean anything at all by the "order up for the weird people" comment. I hope you enjoyed your grits, and please continue to patronize your local restaurants.

Have a nice day,

-- me

p.s. Good luck with that whole music thing.